A/N: Thank you so much guys for dropping me a message/review. I was convinced everyone had forgotten about this story, so seriously I'm insanely grateful to you guys. I know this is slightly over a week, butttt it's a super long chapter to make up for it XD I hope you enjoy!
5 days later:
Something wakes me up, but I'm not sure what. I look for my phone with bleary eyes and stare at the time. 3:45am in the morning.
"Aurgh. I've still got ages till I have to be up." I grumble as I roll over to my other side on the mattress. Then I hear it. A light knock coming from downstairs. I frown and strain my ears, wondering if it was just a trick of my sleep deprived mind. Another knock. "Shoot, not my imagination then " I mutter under my breath as I sit up. "Who on earth knocks at this time?" I wonder as I pull back my covers and slip on my slippers as I make my way downstairs.
When I squint through the translucent door, I can only make out a shadowy figure. On instinct I grab a baseball bat from my nightstand for defensive purposes as I approach the door. I grab my key from the chain and unlock the door, ready for the worst. The bat I was holding instantly drops to the ground when I see who's on the other side.
"Aang?!" I exclaim in disbelief. The airbender waves his free hand awkwardly as he tries to balance a singed brown box in his other hand. I shake my head. "What in spirits name are you doing here?! It's nearly 4 in the morning!" I hiss as I drop the hand that I was holding the bat to my side.
"I know, I'm so sorry. I was planning to abide by your wishes, but..." The young Avatar trails off as he kicks his foot. I lean against the doorframe and cross my arms over my chest with expectant eyes. Aang observes me for a moment before his gaze skirts away as a light flush enters his cheeks which I obliviously assume is from the cold night air.
"But what?" I ask, my voice dripping with disdain. Aang swallows and keeps his grey orbs fixed to the ground.
"The place I was staying at got burnt down. I just need somewhere to stay for 5 days and then I'm gone." Aang mumbles. My eyes widen and I push myself off the hard surface.
"What?!" I yell as I step forward to scan the Air Nomad from head to toe for any burns.
"Were you inside when it burnt down?" I ask with a frown. A pause.
"Yeah." He mutters without meeting my eye. My heart drops as my eyebrows knit together in concern.
"How did this happen?" I demand as I move subconsciously closer to the Airbender. He parts his lips, deliberating on what to say.
"I heard running feet just before my room exploded in fire, so I'm guessing it's the same person who..." Aang trails off with a useless shrug and I feel a fire ignite within me.
"Spirits, this is getting out of hand." I mutter as I run a hand through my tangled curls. It's only then that I realise I'm only wearing a thin nightgown that stops short at mid-thigh and I consciously wrap my cardigan closed. "Ok fine. Come in." I mumble distractedly as I push open the door wider to let him in. Aang's head shoots up to meet my eyes in surprise.
"Wait, you mean it?" Aang asks with wide eyes. I bite the inside of my cheek.
"Unless you prefer to sleep on the streets tonight." I grit back and my former husband takes that as his cue not to question me further as he meekly dashes into the home we once shared. I close the door with a sigh and lock it with the chain. When I turn around, I see the Airbender trying hard not to scan every inch of the lounge, but his eyes dart around regardless.
"Wow, it's been a long..." He stops himself as a lump enters his throat. With a light cough he bends down to place his box on the ground.
I swallow and grasp my elbow as I watch him squat down to rummage through said box. I inch closer to see what he has inside, but he abruptly closes the lid and rises to his feet as he turns to face me.
"Right. I'll take the couch." Aang announces before backpedalling with a sheepish smile. "I mean, if that's ok?" The airbender adds as he raises his hand to rub the back of his head. As soon as he does so however, I instantly spot an angry, welting burn on the soft underbelly of his forearm when his sleeve drops down slightly. I frown and instinctively reach forward.
"You've got a burn." I point out bluntly as I examine the painful mark. Aang's eyes flicker from my hand to my face before he speaks up.
"I didn't get out quite as quickly as I should've." The Airbender settles on saying. I brush over the red area with my thumb and he instantly winces. I cluck my tongue and shake my head as I start walking away from him.
"Wait here, I'll grab a First Aid kit." I call out as I enter the kitchen and open up a drawer.
"A First Aid kit?" I hear him echo back in confusion and when I return sure enough the confusion is clearly etched into his features. I don't reply as I rummage for the burn cream. "Can't you just heal me with your bending?" Aang presses when he realises I'm not going to reply. My breathing becomes ragged, but I stop my hands from shaking as I apply a thin layer of ointment to the burn.
"I'm tired Aang. And I spend the entire day in a hospital. Bending is the last thing on my mind right now." I lie and the young Avatar must've picked up on that because he furrows his eyebrows, but fortunately he doesn't query me further.
"Oh, ok." The airbender mumbles. I bite the inside of my cheek harder until I taste the familiar metallic liquid of blood.
"Do you have any other burns?" I ask in an attempt to bridge the tension. The young man pauses before shaking his head.
"I don't think so? I didn't even realise I had this one to be honest." Aang replies with a sheepish expression. I roll my eyes and pull my hand back to screw the cap of the cream back on.
"Typical." I mutter under my breath. The Air Nomad must've heard because his shoulders sag in defeat. My insides turn upside down and I remember how much it always pained me to see him upset. 'Shoot. This was a bad idea. He's going to undo all my years of progress.' I panic silently.
"Katara...thank you, not just for the cream, but for letting me stay here for the time being." Aang says, breaking through my silent train of thought. I shake my head and give him my back.
"I'm doing this because it's the right thing to do, not because I want to." I utter forcefully. A beat of silence passes before I hear him exhale quietly.
"I know." He whispers, his voice sounds broken and tired. I tightly screw my eyes closed before moving away from him.
"I need to get back to bed. I have an early start tomorrow." I mumble as I reach the first step to upstairs.
"Of course. I'm sorry to be a bother." Aang croaks back. Those words has me freezing in my spot and I turn around slowly towards the Airbender who's already removing his shoes and socks. I watch as he takes a seat on the couch before swinging his feet off the floor as he lies down flat. The words I should've said was: 'You're not a bother. You never have been.' Instead, I say:
"Do you not have a blanket with you?" I snap, feeling irrationally irritated. The Air Nomad glances up in surprise, having not realised I was still here. He sits up.
"Erm, no?" Aang answers unsurely, as if worried I'll kick him out for not having one. I exhale heavily and ascend the stairs without another word. I hear the crouch creak as the young Avatar presumably lies back down.
I head to my bedroom. Or what used to be our shared bedroom. I dig in the wardrobe for a spare blanket that I always keep and Aang's old pillow that I never had the heart to throw out.
When I return to the landing, the Airbender already has his eyes closed and his hand is rested against his chest which moves with every breath he takes. 'He must be exhausted.' I realise suddenly. 'Who knows when was the last time he had a good night's sleep? He should really be sleeping in an actual bed and not on this hard couch.' I bite my lip as I walk towards him. The floorboard instantly squeaks underneath my feet and the young Avatar's eyes snap wide open. He looks alert and certainly not as if he were asleep mere moments ago.
"I brought you a blanket and pillow." I voice quickly before he can question what I was doing and why I was watching him sleep. I thrust them into his hand as he stares at me in surprise.
"I...thank you." Aang murmurs gratefully and he rests them on his lap. It's only then that I notice the distinct absence of the sling around his arm.
"Wait, what happened to your sling?" I ask randomly. The man seems taken back by the question, but he replies anyway.
"I didn't like how it restricted my bending so I took it off." Aang answers, but when he sees me open my mouth in obvious protest, he rushes to continue. "And it doesn't hurt anymore!" I close my mouth, but the look of displeasure remains. My gaze flickers down to his leg and I'm relieved to see that the brace is still on.
"Fine." I concede, not wanting to spend longer than I should with the man. In my haste to depart, I don't notice that the bottom of the duvet has pooled onto the floor and I trip. I start tipping forward until a hand snaps forward to pull me back. I end up toppling onto the airbender who holds me protectively around the waist as my back presses into his chest.
"Spirits Katara, are you ok?" Aang asks worriedly as he tries to peer into my face. I roughly pull away before he can do so and hold my arms to my chest, feeling shaken up at being that close to him after so many years.
"I'm fine!" I snap while my heart beats frantically against my ribcage. The young avatar appears wounded, but he holds out his hands passively.
"Ok, ok." He repeats, but I spot the way his ears tinge pink. 'Oh shoot. Us being near each other is having the same stupid effect. Shoot, shoot, shoot!'
"I've got to go." I say, sounding as standoffish as I possibly can. I thought my words had snapped the boy out of his daze because he nods his head slowly, but his eyes flash with something that only I would recognise. That look of pure love he'd give me when it was just the two of us and suddenly, I feel very exposed. There's a lump in my throat and by the time Aang realises what he's doing he jerks his head away.
"Goodnight Katara." Aang bids quietly. My throat is dry as I back away from him. I don't reply as I practically run upstairs and slam the door to my room. Our old room. I punch the nearest wall hard.
"The nerve of him. Coming here and acting like he can make me forget everything that happened." I mutter angrily. "He doesn't have any right to look at me in that way. Not after being gone for so long." I say between clenched teeth as my fingers curl into a fist.
I punch the wall again, not caring that it hurts. 'I'm not letting him in. Never. It doesn't matter what he does, he's not going to break down that wall I spent years making.' I vow to myself.
When I finally drag myself back to bed, it's 5:35am which would've been fine if I was able to drift back to sleep, but my conflicted emotions keep me up for the rest of the night. I didn't even need the alarm to wake me up as I switch it off instantly. When I swing my legs off the mattress, I can feel the heaviness of my eyelids and the previous day's aches. 'How am I meant to make it through the day?' I think with a groan.
I push myself onto my feet and open the bedroom door with the intention of washing my face, but I pause when I hear the sound of clattering pans. I frown. 'What on earth is he doing?' I wonder, but I shake my head. 'Whatever. I need to get ready.' I remind myself as I enter the bathroom. I'm downstairs in 15 minutes and what I see has me widening my eyes.
"Erm, good morning?" Aang greets meekly as he pops a pan of eggs on the table which sits alongside toast and roasted vegetables. I quirk an eyebrow.
"Since when did you learn how to cook?" The question flies past my lips before I can take it back. The Airbender scratches his head sheepishly.
"Well, I had to learn eventually, right? Eating fruit pies every day didn't sit too well with my stomach." Aang explains with an awkward laugh. I shake my head and go to grab my bag.
"I'm sorry, but I don't have time for a full-on breakfast." I lie as I snatch my keys from the hook.
"Oh." The deflation in Aang's voice is so obvious that I almost take it back, but I know what he's trying to do and I'm not having it. 'We're not pretending things are normal when they aren't.' tell myself as I slip on my coat. "Katara, about last night..." He starts, but I cut him off with a glare.
"Nothing happened." I snap. The Airbender moves his lips wordlessly before dropping his hand to his side.
"I crossed a line. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have held onto you or any of that." Aang pushes out regardless. I squint at him before scrunching my nose.
"Forget it. Enjoy your breakfast." I say, sounding a little more brash than I should've as I unlock the front door and slam it behind me. 'Spirits. I'm making a big deal out of nothing.'
I pinch the bridge of my nose as I breathe out through my nostrils. 'Him being here is mucking up with my head.' I grumble and spin on my heels to head towards my car. 'Its fine. He'll be gone in a few days. I can get through this.' I reassure myself as I twist the car key in the ignition. 'It's fine.' I repeat to myself for good measure when I find myself glancing back at the house through the rearview mirror. I groan loudly. 'This isn't fine.'
When I return home after a hectic shift, I almost forget that there's an unwelcomed guest living with me. That is, until I open the door to the smell of traditional Water Tribe cooking. I gawk at the dining table filled with all sorts of Water Tribe delicacies. Aang pops his head from the kitchen when he hears me close the door and waves me over.
"Hey! Thought you might be hungry when you got back so cooked a little." The Airbender offers as he exits the kitchen with a bowl of what looks like sea prunes, a favourite dish of mine. I close my eyes and drop my bag on the floor.
"I'm not hungry." I mutter, trying hard not to break down here and there. Aang's shoulders sag.
"But..." He starts as he places the bowl on the table. I shake my head hard, finding it hard to speak.
"You're only here for a few days. Let's try and not interact as much as physically possible during that time." I order as I kick off my shoes.
"Katara, come on." Aang pleads as he walks towards me. I withdraw sharply which stops him in his tracks.
"Don't pretend you can fix things with some food." I bite back as I shrug off my coat. The Airbender inhales sharply.
"That wasn't why..." He trails off at my glare.
"I need to check up on some case notes, so don't disturb me." I order as I start ascending up the stairs.
"But you need to eat!" Aang calls out. "You don't want to collapse like last ti..." I whip my head around and scowl at him.
"You've lost the right to care!" I fire back. Aang's face falls and he shoves his hands into his pockets as he turns his head away from me. When he doesn't reply, I exhale heavily and continue climbing up the stairs until I reach my room.
I close the door behind me and rub my tired eyes. '5 days? I can't even get through one without feeling like my insides are going to explode!' I silently rant as I open my wardrobe and pick out a nightgown that's longer than the one I wore last night.
Once I'm changed, I sit at my desk and gaze tiredly at the books in front of me. With a sigh, I flick through one. 'Still having exams after graduating is a joke.' I complain as I make notes on some rarer conditions. It's hours later when I notice a throbbing ache at my temples. I massage my head as I stare at the highlighted notes. 'I think I need a break.' I decide as I push my chair back and cross the room to open my door.
Sounds of rummaging from downstairs filter up to the top floor and I frown. 'What the heck is he doing?' I wonder as I walk over to the landing. I chew my lip. 'I don't really want to talk to him, but...' My stomach grumbles as my head throbs once more. I release a resigned sigh and slowly descend the stairs. I hear the young man heaving from somewhere behind the dining room. The food that was once laid on the table has vanished.
Curiosity takes hold, as I find my feet moving towards the sound. I freeze when I find him clearing the piles of boxes that I had dumped in his office after he left. But that's not what has me frozen to the spot. No. It's the splotchy patches of raw pink skin on his lower back from where his orange shirt rides up when he stretches to reach the top shelf.
"Spirits, what happened to your back?!" I demand, sounding appalled as I reach his side in under two beats. Aang jumps at my sudden voice. The box in his hand clatters to the ground before he can catch it.
"Jeez Katara, you scared me." The Airbender wheezes as he clutches his chest to slow his racing heart. I frown at him.
"What are you even doing here? Your arm and leg still need to heal." I hiss, sounding unreasonably angry. Aang parts his lips in surprise at my tone as his gaze drops to his fractured arm. He makes a fist with his hand, testing its strength before looking back up at me.
"I just remembered that there's some papers I need for some Avatar stuff." The Airbender explains as he bends down to pick up the sheets of paper that fluttered out when the box fell. I scrutinise him for a moment before bending down and helping him. The action takes the Air Nomad back as he pauses to watch me.
"You didn't answer my question." I remind statically as I tap the edge of the papers against the floor into a neat pile. Aang glances away.
"I may have...got burnt a little there too." The young avatar mumbles. I click my tongue against the roof of my mouth as I shift onto my knees.
"Give me your back." I order, but the man immediately stiffens.
"What? Katara it's fine!" Aang argues, but I narrow my eyes at him.
"Turn around or I'm kicking you out of the house right this instant." I blackmail. Aang presses his lips tightly together as his face becomes solemn.
"This is ridiculous, I..." The Airbender protests, but I interrupt him with a scalding glower.
"Back. Now." I demand with such ferocity that the man slowly swivels around. When I stretch out my hands to grasp the end of his top, he flinches. I pause, wondering if I should just respect the man's wishes, especially as I really shouldn't be concerned over it this much, but something tells me I have to do this, so with one swift motion I pull the shirt up.
A sharp intake of breath escapes me as I stare at the sight before me. The Airbender's entire back is singed with ugly burns. But it isn't just that which catches my attention. It's all the white faded scars that are littered between his shoulder blades and spine which I know for a fact weren't there 5 years ago. The room is poorly lit, so I can't tell how bad it really is or if there's more that I can't see.
Aang hunches his shoulders up, as if the very action could hide away the marks. It takes me a full minute before I find my voice and even then, it only comes out as a croak.
"What...what happened?" I falter in my questioning. I hear the young man exhale lightly before replying.
"Avatar business means I can get into trouble with shady people who don't like change." Aang answers quietly. My breathing becomes laboured as I continue to stare at his back, wondering how many times did he need a healer, but didn't have one.
"I... I'm going to get some of that burn cream." I force out, feeling numb as I get to my feet. I catch the frown in Aang's face as he turns half-way to look at me.
"What's with the burn cream? You do a much better job than any ointment." My former husband points out with obvious confusion and I don't have the heart to be angry with him after what I've just seen.
"It doesn't matter." I mumble as I quickly exit the room before he can push further. 'Because the truth is...I've stopped using my bending a long time ago. But he doesn't need to know that.' When I return with the cream in hand, I make the man give me his back again.
"I'm going to remove your top completely, ok?" I say before he can pick up our paused conversation. Aang's lips part slightly, but he obliges and lifts up his arms as I pull the shirt over his head. I unscrew the cap and squirt a good amount of lotion onto my palm before gently applying it to his skin. Heat radiates from his back as I rub in the cream, starting from just above his trouser line and working up until I reach the base of his neck. It's only when I'm nearly done do I realise what I'm actually doing and with how much care I'm doing it by. My hand freezes for the briefest of moments, but it's long enough for Aang to notice.
"Katara?" Aang probes. When I don't answer, he twists around to find my eyes, but I'm too busy staring at the ground as the hand holding the bottle clenches. "Katara?" Aang repeats as worry enters his stormy orbs. I swallow and continue rubbing in the cream, albeit at a faster pace than before.
I only stop when Aang catches my hand in his as he turns around to face me fully. Another scar greets me. But this one is different from the others. Again, it's hard to properly see with the bad lightning, but it looks large and appears to be situated right at the centre of his chest. But that's not what's terrifying. No. It's how it looks that terrifies me. From what looks like its spidery appearance, I can tell that this could've been fatal and that it must've taken one heck of a healer to save him.
A weird sound drops from my mouth as I try to withdraw from the man, but the Airbender isn't having any of it as he keeps his grip on me. His eyes follow my gaze and when he realises what I'm staring at, his eyes softens. "Hey, it's ok." Aang soothes, but that lump in my throat returns.
"Aang, let go of me." I croak and he obliges without protest. I thought that once I was freed, I'd scramble to my feet and run out of the room, but my whole body is so numb and I can't move no matter how hard I try. I stretch out a shaky hand and rest it on the gruesome wound. The skin is raised and ragged underneath my fingers. Aang's breathing pattern immediately changes and becomes shallow as I brush my thumb over it. "This..." I trail off, not knowing what to say. Aang furrows his eyebrows as he watches me in concern.
"I can put my top back on?" He offers, already reaching for the discarded piece of clothing on the floor. I grasp his arms, stopping him in his tracks. And everything in me is screaming that this is wrong. 'I shouldn't be touching him. I shouldn't be this close. I shouldn't care. I shouldn't, shouldn't, shouldn't!' But my body doesn't listen to the screaming in my brain as I feel a tear slide down my cheek. Aang's eyes widen and he rushes to wipe it away, but I flinch and he withdraws. A look of confusion and helplessness encompasses his being as he observes me with a pained expression on his face.
"Why did you go through this all alone? I could've been there. I could've been by your side. But you just pushed me away." I choke out as more tears collect in my eyes. Aang's face crumples and he doesn't hesitate in wrapping his arms around me. I know I should push him away, but the ugly knot in my gut reminds me that I was close to losing him and I didn't even know. I start hiccupping as a sob escapes me.
"Hey now, it's in the past." Aang murmurs, but I stiffen at his words and push him back.
"The past is what brought us here!" I snap as the airbender drops his hands to his lap and he drops his gaze to the floor. "Aang, why? Why did you disappear?" My question comes out as a beg. "I need to know." The plea is clear in my voice, but the Air Nomad refuses to budge and keeps his gaze fixed on the floorboard. I choke and push myself up to my feet.
"Katara, wait." Aang pleads as he also stands up, but I know that whatever he'll say, it won't be an answer to my question. So, I say the one thing that I used to torture myself with whenever I agonised about why he left.
"You didn't want me." I croak painfully. The young Avatar's reaction is swift as his eyebrows shoot up to his hairline and his jaw hangs open.
"That isn't true." Aang urges, reaching his hands forward to take mine, but I step away from him, turning my head to the side so I wouldn't see the sting of hurt that I know is shining from those beautiful stormy orbs of his.
"There isn't any other explanation. You saw how ugly I looked with those old burns and scars and you left not long after." I throw out. Aang frowns as he sifts through his memories before his eyes widen in alarm.
"Oh my gosh you thought that I..." He trails off in disbelief. My eyes harden.
"I saw the look you gave me that day. You could barely look me in the eye after." I remind hotly. The Air Nomad starts flapping his hands in protest.
"What, no! I couldn't look at you because I was so guilty!" Aang protests, but I shake my head roughly.
"You told me you were past all that! And years had passed since that incident. Being guilty isn't what drove you away." I grit back, only for the man to throw up his arms in the air.
"You never told me the burns were that bad! I always assumed they would've faded. I was shocked that it was as terrible as it was." The Airbender argues. I clench my teeth.
"Oh, so now they're terrible, are they?" I bite and the man widens his eyes as he shakes his head vigorously.
"Katara, I love you. How you looked like, scars or not didn't bother me! It was what had happened that bothered me." Aang stresses, but I've known this man for years and I can tell when he's lying.
"You're lying to me, even now!" I scream. An eerie silence descends between us before my former husband finally speaks up.
"Ok fine, you're right. I'm lying. While I hate what happened when we were taken, that's not what plagued my mind when I saw them. It was..." Aang stops to swallow thickly. "...what bothered me the most was that something else would happen to you. I...remember I told you that Yon Rha was after you when we had our argument?" Aang reminds, his voice quiet. I cross my arms and jerk my head up in a nod.
"Go on." I prompt dryly.
"It was information that Toph leaked to me a few months before our fight. She wasn't meant to, but she did and it's why I became so irritable and agitated during that time. Then a few days before our fight, I had a run in with Yon Rha. He said he'd been tracking my movements and even had a copy of my timetable of when I'd be out of town and everything. He taunted me that he'd get to you when I wasn't around and he escaped before I could catch him. It spooked me out and I cancelled all my out-of-town commitments. It's why I blew up that day." The airbender admits, but all I can do is frown at the man.
"Then why did you leave? If you were so worried about that then you'd have stayed by my side, not disappear." I point out bluntly. Aang chews his lip as he deliberates on what to say.
"He disappeared. And after what he said, I knew that I had to go after him. You probably didn't notice, but Toph posted a police van down our road. She even did stakeouts for that first year while I was gone." My former husband explains, but I'm not convinced.
"Then why didn't you come back?" I interrogate. At this, the Air Nomad looks away.
"I...don't know. I guess our fight kept playing on my mind and I was still mad, but I missed you at the same time and I just didn't know how to come back, so..."
"You didn't." I finish for him as I drop my arms to my sides. Aang drops his head slightly. "Did you find him, Yon Rha?" I clarify when the young Avatar tilts his head with unfocussed eyes.
"No, I didn't. Somehow news of our fight came out and he was no longer interested in pursuing you. Or at least that's what he said in a note he left for me when I thought I had tracked him down. He thought that hurting you wouldn't have the same impact and I suppose that added to why I never came back. If I stayed away..." Aang trails off, but I know what he was going to say.
"...then there wouldn't be a reason for him to come after me again." I voice, uttering his thoughts. I shake my head. "I've told you this before, I can protect myself." I hiss, feeling hurt at his lack of faith in my abilities to defend myself.
"It wasn't about whether you can or can't protect yourself. It was about not taking any risks." Aang states strongly. Fists form by my sides as I narrow my eyes at him.
"And you thought it was ok not to tell me this? You could've told me!" I bite, but the man shakes his head.
"I couldn't, for all I know he was tracking our letters and phones." Aang argues, but he doesn't seem to understand why I'm so mad.
"You could've got the message across somehow! Sokka said he still saw you; you could've passed the message with him." I retort. Aang runs a hand across his head.
"I was...still mad about the bloodbending, ok?" He confesses as he lifts his steady eyes to meet mine. The air in my lungs leaves abruptly at that revelation. 'This is why I stopped using my bending. Ever since I used bloodbending on the airbender, an irrevocable sense of guilt weighed heavily on my chest to the point I couldn't bring myself to bend anymore. It didn't matter how much I had missed it or ached to move the water with a flick of my wrist, I just... couldn't bring myself to do it ever again. I've only used it once in the last 5 years and that's it.'
"Oh." I rasp out and I can feel the blood draining from my face. Aang's eyebrows furrow as he takes a step towards me.
"Katara?" He probes anxiously. I give him my side.
"So, you're not mad about it anymore?" I push the words out as I struggle to breathe. Aang watches me carefully as he takes another step towards me until he's so close, yet somehow he feels so far away.
"No. You were understandably angry and I know that. I guess I...I just never thought you'd use it on me like that." The air nomad admits in a small voice. My heart slows and nausea washes over me.
"I..." I don't know what to say to him. It's only then does Aang notice my sickly appearance as he stretches out a hand towards me.
"Hey, it's fine. We do things when we're mad." The Airbender reassures, but my eyes automatically drop to his bare chest. He's never been particularly hairy, but the fine hairs certainly did obscure the engorged veins that I initially overlooked. It's been years, but blood bending is a frowned upon practice for a reason. Patients who experience it always have larger and more noticeable veins. After enough time, most doctors will be able to spot when someone has had a run-in with it. And it doesn't really go away. And now I just feel sicker.
"I need to go." I blurt, my voice shaky. Aang parts his lips in surprise.
"Wait, it doesn't bother me!" The air nomad insists as he moves forward to meet my retreating steps while pulling his t-shirt back on. My face twists and I say the words that I've been refusing to say for the longest time.
"It bothers me." It's just a whisper, but the man is taken aback by my response. It gives me enough time to dodge his outstretched arm and run away from him.
"Katara!" I hear him shout which is followed by a loud curse. "Spirits!" He mutters. I don't hear what he says after that because I've already clicked my door shut. My stomach heaves and I grab my bin and dry retch into it. 'Shoot. Now he thinks I care. Now...I think I might.'
Another wave of nausea washes over me as I lean my sweaty forehead against the cool rim of the bin. 'Why does this have to be so complicated?' I complain just as a soft knock penetrates through my fog of confusion.
"Can I come in?" The Airbender asks quietly. I stiffen up. "Katara, please." The boy pleads. I shiver and hug my arms to my chest. "I..." He trails off and I can only imagine him hanging his head right this moment. I hear him sigh as he kicks at the floor. "You know I should've checked on you when I threw you against the wall and that vase broke on you." Aang says suddenly. "I was too appalled at how I lashed out that I ran like a coward." The Air Nomad releases a humourless laugh. "You weren't the only one who did something wrong that night." He carries on in a whisper. I shift onto my knees as I stare at the closed door.
"I wasn't mad at you for that. I never was." I whisper back. There's silence from the other side of the door for an age before he replies.
"Then I guess that makes me a jerk because I was mad at the blood..." He cuts himself off, but he doesn't need to finish for me to know what he's getting at. I close my eyes and rest my head against the hard surface of the door.
"You had every right to be. In fact, you could've reported me to the medical council for abusing that ability. I would've been struck off and had my doctor license taken away. But...you never did." I choke out. The man exhales lightly and I feel the door creak from presumably his weight as he leans against the closed surface.
"I could never do that to you. You're the best doctor I know." Aang utters passionately and my stomach twists once more. But for the first time, I realise that it's not from hatred. Not really. It's from my self-induced feelings of guilt and bitterness.
"Don't." I croak. I can almost see him frowning as the floorboards creak on the other side.
"Don't what?" Aang echoes back.
"Don't praise me." I rasp.
"You're my beautiful wife, how can I not?" Aang murmurs sweetly. I screw my eyes shut. "Katara?" Aang probes when I don't reply.
"I don't know if I am." I choke back. The Airbender doesn't reply for the longest time.
"Is...is there someone else?" Aang asks, the hitch in his breathing is clear even when a block of wood separates us. My eyes widen and I shoot up to my feet and yank open the door without another thought.
"No!" I bellow, but the airbender's expression is pained.
"It's been 5 years, I...I won't blame you if..." He can't even finish his sentence, nor can he meet my eyes, but the hand by his side clenches tightly and his knuckle goes white with how hard he's digging his fingers into his palm.
"Do you really think I'd do that?" I question softly, but I feel wounded and it shows in my voice. Grey orbs snap up to meet my ocean blue eyes.
"No, but if you did...I wouldn't hold it against you." Aang mutters, but I can see the sparks of jealousy battling within him with how rigid his shoulders are and how stiff his body becomes. It makes me feel something I hadn't realise it would. Satisfaction. Glee. Reassurance. Relief. I shake my head.
"Listen, that's not why...I mean, we left things in such a terrible way. I...I don't think we can come back from that." I admit as I reach to grasp my elbow insecurely. The airbender scrutinises me for a moment before taking a step forward. Instinctively, I step back and his shoulders slump.
"Is it... because you can't forgive me?" Aang whispers, his face distraught. I swallow and flicker my gaze to the side.
"It's more that I don't trust you to change." I mutter as my voice wavers slightly. The young Avatar's lips part as he tries to form words.
"Change?" He echoes back numbly. My fingers dig into the crook of my elbow as I glance back to him.
"About lying and hiding things from me. About trying to protect me all the time. I... don't think you're capable of changing those parts of yourself. And..." I pause as I struggle to get the next words out of my dry throat. "...how can I be with someone that isn't honest with me?" As soon as those words drop from my mouth, it's like a clap of thunder vibrates around us. Aang moves his lips, but nothing comes out as he stares at me, stunned and speechless. And also hurt. Very hurt. It shines through in those beautiful crystal eyes of his.
"But Katara..." He starts, but I'm already turning my back on him.
"I think that's enough for one day. It's late, we should head to sleep." I interrupt.
"If I can prove that I've changed, will you have me?" Aang's question cuts through my fogged up brain like a knife. My body goes still.
"That's too much of an ask right now, but..." I trail off and shrug one shoulder. "...maybe it will be a step forward in the right direction." I concede. A rush of air is my response and when I turn around, I find the boy floating in mid-air from his excited jump. When I cross my arms and quirk an eyebrow at him, however he quickly descends until his feet touch the ground and shoots me a sheepish grin.
"Sorry, I got a little carried away." Aang apologises, but his eyes sparkle with hope. I can't help the chuckle that works its way up my throat and out of my mouth. I cover my mouth in embarrassment, but the young Avatar's face softens as he gazes at me. I feel heat rushing to my cheeks as I drop my hand.
"What?" I ask, feeling self-conscious. The man smiles gently.
"I missed your laugh." Aang murmurs honestly and a lump starts to form in my throat.
"I..." I trail off uselessly, not knowing how to respond to that. The Airbender immediately realises what he said and backtracks.
"Spirits, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable!" Aang rambles apologetically as he bows his head low. Something inside me softens as I reach out a hand to tilt his chin up.
"Don't worry, you didn't." I reassure kindly. When I see the man's face pinkening, I realise I've probably crossed way too many lines in one day and I hastily withdraw my hand. "We should, erm...go to sleep." I bid lamely, but the air nomad is only too eager to oblige as he nods his head vigorously.
"Yes! Of course!" He utters with hyped enthusiasm, but there's something in his eyes that I can't quite grasp.
"Just one more question, your memories – are they all back?" I find myself asking as I reach my hand for the door, not wanting to drag out the conversation, but needing to know that this version of Aang, the version that wants to change, is his true self and not a self from a couple of years ago. Aang blinks at the randomness of the question, but goes to reply anyway.
"Most of them. The few days before the car accident is still blank though." The Airbender admits with a touch of disappointment. 'So, him wanting to change is real.' I realise as I tilt my head to one side.
"That's normal to lose memories of and around the event, but I'm glad you've got most of them back. Anyway, I really do need to head to bed." I excuse as I start closing the door.
"Of course, goodnight Katara." Aang bids with that same look in his eyes that I can't quite place.
"Goodnight Aang." I say. It's only when I shut the door does it hit me. Longing. That's what was in his eyes, it was longing. I swallow and stumble to my bed. 'Spirits no. I'm letting him get too close. I'm... falling all over again. And what a dangerous thing that is.'
My fingers curl into tight fists at that thought. 'He won't change. Aang is that same boy I first met at uni. He hides things, it's in his nature.' I try to reason with myself, but the optimistic part of me can't help but hope that maybe he will change. For me. I close my eyes and flop onto my mattress. 'I need to keep my guard up. Just in case.'
A/N: Angsty as per usual, well I did say I wrote this story for all your angst lovers XD Let me know your thoughts please and see you next week! Keep well everyone!
7/8/23