Mistake
Chapter 7
Mike was a good dad and Maddie could respect that. He was careful with Billy, because the little boy was very unsure of him. It caused Billy a lot of anxiety when Mike and Hannah had gone for a walk, and he was left with Maddie and Sarah.
Maddie was also very unsure of what was going to happen between her and Mike. She cared about him, but he deserved to make a life with his kids, and it didn't have to include her. She just wanted it to. For the first time since Alex and Zoe died, she was happy.
Mike came back with Hannah, and they worked the rush hour. Maddie could tell something was on his mind, but that night when the restaurant closed, the kids went with her mom, and he headed upstairs with her. He landed on the couch and was staring into space.
"I'll warm up some gumbo if you want it." Maddie offered.
"Thanks." Mike said.
"Mike, do you know what you're going to do?" Maddie asked. She hoped she wasn't crossing a line.
"Not a clue. All I know is that those kids need me in their lives full-time." Mike said.
"I figured you would be moving them somewhere." Maddie said, rather despondently.
"Hey, that I haven't decided yet. Yes, I will have them, but they are attached to your mom, and she adores them. I need to decide what to do about my career." Mike said.
"Could you transfer here or are you thinking retirement?" Maddie asked.
"Retirement. With a transfer, I can still be deployed. I can't leave children behind again." Mike said. He had a haunted look in his eyes.
"Your other two?" Maddie asked.
"Lucas died while we were still in the Arctic. Christine died from the Red Flu, but Katie starved to death, during the Red Rust." Mike explained.
"Oh, Mike." Maddie said. She squeezed his knee, not knowing what else to say. Zoe had been a baby and had died soon after the first symptoms of the Red Flu started. Katie had suffered greatly.
"Hannah told me. It…hit harder than I expected. I knew Katie was gone, but…not like that." Mike said.
"She went without so Hannah and Billy could eat?" Maddie asked.
"Yeah. Christine was pregnant but didn't want to tell me because she knew I would worry. She was exposed to the Red Flu and had Billy prematurely. She bled to death. By some miracle, Billy survived, and the girls made do. They were able to scavenge for food. They didn't know how to find me and were scared they'd be separated. By the time the Red Rust happened, there was no food to scavenge for." Mike explained as he paced around.
"I am sorry." Maddie said.
"Look…if you're hungry, by all means—eat, but I just can't. Katie and I weren't that close but she was still my baby girl. I can't eat right now, knowing she must have been in so much pain." Mike explained.
"Okay." Maddie said.
"I think I'm going to go in for a shower. I don't want you to feel bad for eating in front of me and I need to be alone for a bit. Its nothing against you but I don't want you to have to feel like you have to comfort me." Mike said.
"Hey…I understand. I lost a baby too, although not like this. Its not the same loss but it is a loss. You don't have to apologize for hurting." Maddie said. She realized she hadn't told Mike about Zoe after she said it.
"You lost a baby?" Mike asked.
"Zoe. She was only a few months old. Both she and my fiancée, Alex. I don't like talking about it." Maddie admitted.
"I'm sorry." Mike said simply.
"Me too. So…go in and take that shower, while I eat." Maddie said before giving him a kiss.
"Okay." Mike answered. He headed in for his shower while Maddie heated up her dinner and ate it. She was just washing her dishes up when he came back out. "Could you do me a favor and call your mom so I can tell the kids good night? I don't have her number." Mike asked.
"Of course." Maddie answered. She punched in her mom's number, talked to her for a moment and then handed the phone to Mike. "I'm going in for my shower." Maddie said.
She showered and fixed her hair into a French Braid, to give Mike more time to talk to his kids. By the time she came back out, he was getting ready for bed and seemed more upbeat. She was surprised when he pulled her in for a passionate kiss.
"Please?" Mike asked.
"Of course." Maddie answered. She let Mike take the lead, which was unusual for them, and didn't regret it, but the entire time, she began wondering if he was just using her for physical comfort.