Author's Note:

Y'all, this is the fastest I've ever turned around a Shamy fic. I didn't even have this idea until this morning and now here I am posting it. Hopefully it's good. In any case, I had fun writing it.

Thank you to my beta reader Stark for reading this over on such short notice, you're the best!

Please enjoy this missing scene from The Retraction Reaction!

Drunk

"Okay, Mister, take your shirt off and put it in the bag," Amy told Sheldon as she got out of her car, thrusting a plastic grocery bag into his hands.

"Hey! That's 'Doctor' to you!" he said, but his indignation was tempered by his near-inability to stay standing upright. He placed one hand on the side of her car to steady himself. "And undressing in public? Are you mad?"

"You heard me. Shirt. Bag. Now."

She was so focused on making sure Sheldon peeled off his vomit-covered T-shirt without swaying over, she almost missed Bernadette pulling up and parking behind her on the paved cemetery path.

"Thanks for coming," Penny said. The rest of the guys were trailing after her. "We tried to call Uber but . . ." She waved vaguely in Sheldon's direction. He looked better now that he was down to his undershirt, but Amy could see some blue stains on his pants as well. They'd have to wait until they were back home to take care of those.

"Don't mention it," Bernadette said. Amy nodded. The two of them had been close to coming to blows when they got the call from Howard asking for a ride. Tending to her drunk fiancé and friends really wasn't how Amy planned on spending her evening, but perhaps it worked out for the best.

"Oh, God, I can't ride with him." Leonard started retching as he stepped over to join Sheldon beside her car, clearly reacting to the strong smell of alcohol and stomach acid coming off of him. The sound set off a chain reaction in Howard and Raj, who started gagging as well.

"You get Sheldon home, I'll take the others," Bernadette told her, quickly stepping in and ushering Leonard away towards her van before anyone else could start throwing up.

"Come on." Amy grabbed Sheldon by the arm and steered him over to her passenger side, ignoring his mild protests. Thankfully, once the door was open he climbed in without incident and buckled up. She picked up another plastic bag from the floor of her car.

"Here, if you feel sick again, use this."

"Okay."

She studied him for a quick second before walking back around to get behind the wheel. Behind them, Bernadette was still rounding everyone up into her van. Amy started up the car and pulled away with a quick wave.

"Do you want to tell me how you ended up here?" she asked Sheldon after two minutes of uncharacteristic quiet.

"Howard thought we should visit Richard Feynman's grave for inspiration," he said. "I'd say it was one of his better ideas, but then I threw up in some bushes and we were stranded."

"Did you at least find your inspiration?" she asked.

"Oh yes." Sheldon nodded. "It's all taken care of. Leonard wrote an email while we were waiting to get picked up."

"That's good."

The story didn't make much sense, but she assumed it had something to do with what happened with Leonard's radio interview and the many whiteboards currently scattered around their apartment. She would try to get a more complete explanation later.

"I love you," he suddenly said.

"I love you too," she told him, smiling over at him. He then gave her a stern look.

"Don't kiss me," he said.

"Okay."

"I threw up, it's not sanitary."

"Alright."

"I just know how you always want to kiss me."

"I'm not going to kiss you, I'm driving."

"When you got drunk that one time, you kissed me," he said, as if that proved something.

"You're the one who is drunk, I should be saying that to you," she pointed out.

"Hey, you're right!" he said. "You're so smart."

"Thank you."

"You're smart and beautiful and your field isn't a dead end, we should have just gone to you for inspiration and saved some time," Sheldon kept babbling.

Amy shook her head but found herself sitting up a little straighter in her seat. Even after all these years, his compliments were still rare enough that they left her feeling like she was glowing from within. And after how immature he had acted towards her earlier, this was especially nice to hear.

They arrived back at their apartment building a few minutes later and luckily Sheldon seemed to have sobered up a little by then. She let him lean on her as they walked up the stairs together, but he was able to handle most of his own weight himself. Once they were back inside, he made a beeline for their bedroom and stripped down to his underwear. Amy didn't comment, she just bit her lip and gathered up his dirty clothes.

"Do you think you can manage getting ready for bed by yourself while I take these down to the laundry room?" she asked him. Sheldon nodded and headed towards the bathroom.

"Come back quickly, though," he added. "I can't sleep without you."

"I will," she promised. True to her word, she treated his clothes and started the wash in record time, and when she returned he was sitting up in bed waiting for her.

"Can I tell you a secret?" he asked as she sat down beside him.

"What is it?"

"I liked it when you kissed me when you were drunk."

"Oh really?" She raised her eyebrows at him. They had never talked much about that very first kiss, and though she had long suspected this was probably true, it was still kind of surprising to hear him say it.

"Yes. It felt like this."

Before she knew what was happening, Sheldon leaned over and pressed his lips firmly to hers.

"Don't worry, I brushed my teeth twice," he told her when he pulled back. "So it's okay that I broke the no kissing rule."

Amy barely paid attention, she was glowing from within again.