Phoenix woke slowly and lifted her head. She peered around the room, frowning when the room remained blurry. Something warm pressed against her side and she glanced down, startling when she saw a hand. She blinked and looked for the owner, relaxing minimally when she realized it was the Doctor. At some point, she'd rolled in her sleep and curled into his side, her head landing in the crook of his neck. He'd shifted to accommodate—though he showed no signs of having woken—and now his arm encircled her, pulling her close.
That explained why she was so warm, she thought, a light blush creeping along her cheeks.
"Leave it! Get out!"
Phoenix jumped, heart pounding. That had been Jackie's voice. She didn't have long to ponder it or panic about it before Rose rushed into the room with Jackie close behind. Phoenix glanced between the two. Jackie's eyes were wide and she seemed close to hyperventilating while Rose simply didn't stop moving long enough to react.
"Phoenix, you need to get up." Rose pulled Phoenix to her feet who frowned as Rose yanked back the Doctor's blankets.
"What's going on? What are you doing?" Phoenix stumbled forward and gripped the blanket with as much strength as her fingers could manage. Rose easily pulled the fabric from her grip, shooting her a look. Phoenix's brows creased together and she opened her mouth to press the point but Mickey darted into the room, his attention on something behind him. Jackie slammed the door shut.
Was that Christmas music? Had Jackie left the radio on? Phoenix flinched as glass shattered in the hallway and ricocheted into the room, smashing tiny holes into the wooden door. Mickey and Jackie slid the wardrobe in front of the door, both bracing themselves against it.
"Doctor, wake up!" Rose cried, shaking the Timelord.
"Rose, stop!" Phoenix grabbed the blonde's arm, trying to pull her away. "For all you know that could make him worse!"
"We don't have a choice!" Rose yanked her arm away and rounded the bed to start on the other side of the covers.
Phoenix glared. She'd thought they had moved past the phase of the Doctor needing to do everything. Rose glanced at the door before racing over to the Doctor's old leather jacket, hands searching the pockets until she came up with the sonic. She placed it in the Doctor's hand and Phoenix rolled her eyes.
"What exactly are you trying to accomplish?" She nodded at the device and held out her hand. "Give it to me. Tell me what's going on and I—"
The wardrobe exploded and one of the doors slammed into her back. Phoenix fell onto the bed with a gasp, doing her best not to hurt the Doctor as the Christmas music grew louder. She whipped around to see a giant Christmas tree slicing through the wardrobe—it's different sections rotating fast enough to create a wind strong enough to toss strands of Phoenix's hair into her face.
"I'm gonna get killed by a Christmas tree!" Jackie whimpered, cringing into the wall and covering her head.
The tree was on a direct course for the bed and Phoenix was about ninety percent sure it was heading for the Doctor. Phoenix quickly threw herself over him, waiting for the pain of getting torn to shreds. It was likely useless, but she couldn't stand to do nothing.
"No! Get out of there!" Rose cried.
The wind from the tree grew stronger and Phoenix forced herself to breath. Any second, she would be gone. Hopefully the tree was stupid enough to be satisfied with her and the pain would be quick. Then the entire thing would be over.
"Doctor, help us!" Rose's voice broke and Phoenix fought the urge to turn to her.
Instead, she tightened her grip. It wasn't how she thought she'd die, but at least it would be quick rather than the slow painful sickness trying to consume her. Even now, her limbs trembled and her eyelids grew heavy. The wind from the tree was enough for her to shiver, despite being close to the Doctor. The music blared in her ears.
The room tilted and Phoenix bit her lip against the sensation of rising, trying to ground herself. She clung to the Doctor, startling when the sonic buzzed. Had Rose figured out how to use it? Phoenix's eyes snapped open and she turned towards the sound, but it wasn't Rose using it. Instead, a striped pajama clad arm reached across her shoulder, pointing the device straight at the Christmas tree—which was still heading straight for them.
But as the pitch increased, the music warped and garbled until finally, the tree exploded. Phoenix cringed away, tucking her head against the Doctor who raised his arm to shield her face.
The music stopped. The wind died down.
And they were all fine.
Heart racing, Phoenix slowly uncurled, lifting her head to stare into a pair of dark brown eyes. Her breath faltered and her eyes went to his hair, the strands tousled from being in bed. Again her fingers itched to run through it and test if it was as soft as it appeared.
"Remote control," The Doctor said, voice light and soothing. Phoenix's brows furrowed. Was his accent different? "But who's controlling it?"
He gently pulled out of Phoenix's arms, standing and grabbing a deep blue robe on his way out of the flat. Phoenix was instantly shivering again, but quickly followed after the Doctor. She picked her way through the shattered glass, her fluffy maroon socks not doing much to shield the pads of her feet. By the time she caught up, her friends were all gathered at the balcony, the Doctor pointing the sonic towards the street. Phoenix flinched at the chill in the air and stood beside him, hoping he didn't mind the way she leaned against him. It only warmed one side of her, but it was better than nothing.
Phoenix peered at the street, frowning at three Santa's with masks. The one in the center held the remote control—presumably—in his hands. The Doctor glared at them.
"That's them!" Mickey exclaimed, pointing and looking to the Doctor. "What are they?"
Rose slapped his arm and shushed him, eyes darting between the Santa's and the sonic.
Phoenix ignored the two of them as the Santa's slowly backed away, clumping together and beaming away in a flash of light. She frowned and bit her lip. Something didn't feel right.
"They've just gone," Mickey said. "What kind of rubbish were they? I mean, no offense, but they're not much cop if a sonic screwdriver's going to scare them off."
"Mickey, the sonic just made a tree explode," Phoenix said, raising an eyebrow. "But you're right. That did seem too easy."
"Pilot fish," The Doctor said and Phoenix glanced away from the street and looked to him. His eyes were already on her and her stomach fluttered.
"What?" Rose stepped forward.
"They were just pilot fish—" The Doctor spasmed and fell against the wall with a cry. Phoenix reached for him immediately, not sure how to help.
"Doctor?" She put an arm around his waist, though she could already feel herself growing fatigued. It didn't matter that she'd just slept for hours and had barely done anything since waking. Though perhaps the rush of adrenaline hadn't helped her situation.
"What's wrong?" Rose's eyes were wide as they all reached to support the Doctor.
"You woke me up too soon," He said between pained gasps. "I'm still regenerating. I'm bursting with energy." Phoenix watched as he exhaled more golden wisps. "You see? The pilot fish could smell it a million miles away. So they eliminate the defense, that's you lot, and they carry me off. They could run their batteries on me for a couple of—"
He broke off with a cry, lurching forward across the small balcony. Phoenix knelt in front of him, feeling cold again as their connection was severed. Rose sat with her knees against her chest by the wall and Phoenix felt a spark of worry for her. But at the moment, she needed to make sure the Doctor was physically okay before she could check on Rose's emotional and mental state.
"Oh!" Jackie knelt in front of the Doctor, eyes wide.
"My head!" The Doctor hunched over, one hand clutching at his hair and the other his stomach. "I'm having a neuron implosion. I need—"
"What do you need?" Jackie spoke over him.
"I need—"
"Just say it. Tell me, tell me, tell me."
"I need—"
"Painkillers?" Jackie guessed.
"I need—"
"Do you need aspirin?" And then the Doctor couldn't get a word in though to his credit he continued to try. "Codeine? Paracetamol? Oh, I don't know, Pepto-Bismol? Liquid paraffin. Vitamin C? Vitamin D? Vitamin E? Is it food? Something simple. Bowl of soup. A nice bowl of soup? Soup and a sandwich? Soup and a little ham sandwich?"
"Jackie!" Phoenix exclaimed, grabbing the woman's shoulder.
"I need you to shut up," The Doctor managed to say at the same time.
"Oh, he hasn't changed that much, has he?" Jackie rolld her eyes.
The Doctor groaned and lurched forward again. Rose hurried out of his way and he caught himself against the wall, turning to face them again. Phoenix bit her lip, heart racing as he gasped in pain.
"We haven't got much time." His head fell back and he grit his teeth. "If there's pilot fish, then…" He frowned and peered down. "Why's there an apple in my dressing gown?"
"Oh, that's Howard. Sorry," Jackie said and Phoenix's head snapped around. Her father did often carry fruit in his dressing gowns, but Phoenix wouldn't have expected it here. He still hadn't come back from his trip.
"He keeps apples in his dressing gown?" The Doctor frowned at the fruit.
"He gets hungry." Jackie nodded.
"What, he gets hungry in his sleep?"
"Sometimes."
"Aaah!" The Doctor screamed and the apple rolled away, forgotten as the Doctor collapsed to the ground. Phoenix did her best to catch him, but her arms weren't strong enough. "Brain collapsing." He rolled over, his hand finding Phoenix's as he groaned. "The pilot fish. The pilot fish mean…that something…something—" He spasmed in her arms and Phoenix thought her heart might stop. His cries gradually became gasps and he focused back on her. "Something is coming."
His eyes shut and he fell into her arms, unconscious. Phoenix pulled his head into her lap and looked over at Rose. The blonde was staring at the Doctor with an expression that Phoenix couldn't place and then she backed away, shaking her head.
"Rose, help me," Phoenix said, hooking an arm under the Doctor's head and lifting it to rest on her shoulder. "We need to get him back inside. We're too vulnerable out here and they'll be back."
"Sweetie, you shouldn't be carrying him." Jackie moved forward to take his upper half. "Mickey, get his legs. Rose, get the doors."
Rose shook herself and hurried to do as instructed. Phoenix pulled herself to her feet and followed after the group, worry gnawing at her gut. He'd said his brain was collapsing. That sounded really bad. And neuron implosion meant his neurons were literally caving in on themselves.
They managed to get the Doctor tucked into bed and Jackie ran to get a bowl of water and a washcloth. The Doctor wasn't lying peacefully anymore. Instead, he was sweating, his forehead burning up, his breaths uneven, and every now and again he would whimper.
Phoenix collected the stethoscope, placed the earpieces in, and set the chest-piece above one of his hearts with a shaking hand. It was beating haphazardly, but it was beating. She slid the chest-piece over to the other heart and waited.
She couldn't hear anything. His second heart wasn't beating.
Jackie came in as Phoenix gently laid the stethoscope on a nearby chair. Phoenix took the bowl of water, setting it on the nightstand and wetting the cloth.
"Wait a moment." Jackie stopped her, taking the cloth and laying it in the water.
"Jackie, we need to get his fever down." Phoenix frowned. "He's worse."
"I know and we will, but he isn't the only one who needs caring for," Jackie said, grabbing the stethoscope and putting in the earpieces. She placed the chest-piece over Phoenix's heart and listened. Phoenix didn't want to waste their time doing this, but she knew Jackie would continue to push, so it was better to get it over with.
Jackie moved the chest-piece over and listened again. Then she did it again. And again. Phoenix frowned, tilting her head as Jackie continued to listen, the older woman's frown deepening the longer they sat there.
"What is it, Jackie?" Phoenix finally asked, drawing the woman's gaze. Jackie slowly put the stethoscope down.
"I think it's just the one now," Jackie said slowly. "I know that they beat almost in sync, but they sound different. I know they do. And there's just the one in the center now."
"Are you sure?" Phoenix asked, grabbing the stethoscope and checking for herself.
Jackie was right.
Before when they'd first realized the pulsing was slightly varied, they'd learned to pick out the differences, especially when listening with a stethoscope. Each of what Phoenix suspected was a heart beat with a slightly different resonance, so when they beat together it was like hearing three different notes. They'd been able to hear the discord when it was just two and now it was one.
Phoenix wasn't sure how she should feel about it. If this sickness was part of her transition, then she would have expected to feel more of a heartbeat, not less. The fact that her hearts were failing implied that something had gone very, very wrong. Or perhaps she'd been human for too long and it couldn't be reversed and the attempt had led to complete failure. She just didn't know, but the thought had her feeling nauseous.
And then her stomach clenched. She hurried into the bathroom, throwing up the toilet seat and vomiting pure stomach acid. It burned her throat and stung her nose. Someone was beside her and holding her hair, but she was too busy to see who.
Eventually, it stopped and she rested her forehead against the bath, heart pounding in her ears. Even there, she could tell the difference, now that she knew to look for it. She took a few more deep breaths before getting to her feet and making her way to the sink. Rose followed with an outstretched arm while Jackie lingered in the doorway.
"You alright?" Rose asked as Phoenix put toothpaste on a toothbrush.
"I'll be fine," Phoenix whispered, quickly brushing her teeth and accepting the cup of water Rose offered. This part had become routine for Phoenix by this point. "I think I'll go rest."
And she left the two women in the bathroom, making her way back to the spare room and sitting beside the Doctor. He couldn't take a full breath without difficulty.
Heart clenching, Phoenix looked around at what hadn't been destroyed by the Christmas tree. The TV was safe and her copy of The Lion King so with a sigh, she put the disk in and pressed play. Maybe some background noise could help calm the Doctor's brain. It helped her sometimes when she was sick.
Once the movie was playing, Phoenix turned the volume down to background noise and settled in the chair beside the bed. She lightly wrapped her fingers around the Doctor's and bent to press a kiss to his hand. Hopefully, she wasn't assuming anything. They would need to talk about if things had changed between them now that he was different. When he was better. And if she made it that long.
It wasn't long until Jackie walked into the room, wringing her hands. Phoenix straightened and Jackie pulled up another chair.
"How are you doing?" She asked. "Can I get you anything?"
"You mean now that we know I'm dying?" Phoenix asked, smiling without humor. "No, thanks. Though maybe you can answer something."
"Anything."
"Why was there an apple in that dressing gown?"
"What d'you mean? You know that your Dad—"
"Yeah, I know. He gets hungry in his sleep and he keeps fruit in his night gowns. My Mum was the one who suggested the idea to him." Phoenix nodded. "What I mean is, why is there an apple in there now? My Dad's been gone for months…hasn't he?"
Jackie looked like a deer in the headlights and Phoenix's face fell. Jackie wouldn't have lied to her about something so serious, would she? Not after everything. Not with what was happening to Phoenix right now.
"I was gonna tell you," Jackie said and Phoenix pulled her hand out of the Doctor's, teeth clenching. "I was! But he asked me not to. He said he wanted to surprise you for Christmas."
"How long have you been lying?" Phoenix's eyes stung.
"He only got back last night," Jackie said, eyes brimming with liquid. "I did want to tell you. But he said he wants to make things up with you. I didn't want to ruin that. Please, you have to believe me. I didn't want to hurt you."
"He was here last night?" Phoenix glared. "And neither of you thought I should know? You just snuck him out while I was in the next room dying?"
Jackie opened her mouth a few times, but settled for putting a hand on Phoenix's shoulder. Phoenix jerked away, jumping to her feet. Jackie nodded and hung her head.
"I'm sorry," Jackie said softly, standing. "Really, I am."
Phoenix didn't look at her or respond, worried about what she might say. Phoenix needed time to process this before she decided if she forgave Jackie. And decide if she forgave her father because really he was the one who was lying. He'd come home and decided not to tell her. He'd come home and the first person he'd gone to see was Jackie.
Phoenix had waited and hoped every single day that he would come home and talk to her or call her or even text her. Anything to show he accepted her and that he loved her. But nothing.
All she'd gotten was a box of hot chocolate, which wasn't a clear enough message. It didn't tell her if he still loved her or if he still considered her his daughter. It told her that he hadn't made up his mind. That the answer wasn't obvious and most importantly, that she wasn't as important to him as she'd thought.
Even if he came back, even if he told her he loved her no matter what she was, it still meant he didn't love her enough to already know. That his love wasn't unconditional. If he accepted her, it just meant she hadn't found the condition that would make him stop, but she'd gotten closer.
The thought had tears falling from her eyes and she struggled to swallow back sobs. Needing to feel a connection that was real, Phoenix again settled on the covers beside the Doctor, though this time she wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his chest, listening to the sound of his single heartbeat.
The connection between them was tenuous and the feeling of warmth ebbed and flowed. It only made her cry harder. He wasn't supposed to actually die! He was just supposed to change and then come back and she'd get used to it. They would figure out if it changed anything between them and they'd return to the stars. He'd help her get better and everything would be okay.
Now it looked like both their days were numbered.
And here's chapter two! Thank you to everyone who read chapter one and I hope you like this one-though I do recognize it is on the darker side of things. The next few chapters are going to be dark, but I am hoping to sprinkle in more cheer and happiness in this season than the last as she moves forward, but there are some things that need to happen first. So bear with me! And drop a review if you want to share your thoughts! :)
- NeoMulder