Longest one shot by far. Please let me know what you think of this, I would really like to know. It's a play on another way that Sakura could have taken, that perhaps without them she would be stronger, but would she be better?Reupload of my old story from many, many years ago. Just some updated dialogue and grammatical changes. To anyone who remembers this angst from way back when thanks for sticking around! And to anyone new, being Sakura moody was a whole vibe back in 2014.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters used in this story
Being with them had beenwas difficult.
In the beginning, she didn't remember feeling that way at least. But maybe she had never noticed the distance between them, in friendship. In skill. That had never seemed like a good enough reason in the years that followed when the thought would cross her mind and make her briefly cringe. 'It's more like,' she thought, 'it seemed better that way.' it hadn't been. Maybe it was because she hadn't even noticed the distance between them. No. That wasn't correct. More like, she saw the distance and simply thought it was meant to be. That her loud-mouthed anonymity should be normal, and that in some way (which she had never bothered questioning) it was right. it was normal. That, in some way that she had never bothered questioning, it was right.
'I guess even my big brain was just for show back then,' She would think ruefully.
In her memories she had felt safe, as though nothing could truly hurt her. In part due to Thean oxymoron with the silver hair and a hidden smile who would understand and not understand, and but never listen and be there without ever arriving. A ghost over her shoulder; the feeling of eyes that were never watching her. He was her sensei and a. He was a stranger. At the end of it all, sheShe had never been taught by him, and the most grating part of it all to her in adulthood was that she hadn't cared. He would protect her. She would be taken care of. It was everyone else that needed to worry about things like brutality and distrust and hardship. was never taught and the pitiful part was that she hadn't cared. She would be protected. She would be taken care of. She wouldn't have to worry.
Theose Chuunin Exams had shown her how wrong she could be in that belief. For the first time she realized what she had gotten herself into, and the terror that struck her like lightning when there was no teammate to step forward for her, and no ever-present absentee sensei to save her at the last moment, was sickening. the error of her ways. She was terrified. Her only protection was a fragile, pink girl shaking like the flower of her namesake. For the first time in a long time she realized what she had gotten herself into. There was no teammate to protect her. No ever present, absentee sensei to save her at the last moment. There was only a little pink girl. And it scared her that this new protector was not strong enough. Not even close.
And there was There was screaming and scratching and tearing flesh as she dug her teeth into the soft tissue of an Sound ninOto-nin's arm. What pitiful bravery from a child that could do nothing, because at that moment , and she was no longer a girl or a ninja, but a simple creature throwing away her life to protect her friends, the loves of her lifeeverything to save the loves of her life and hoping to survive., and somehow trying to survive long enough to keep them safe. Always knowing Knowing that she would not.
And when a blonde girl When Yamanaka Ino and her teammates rescued Sakura from being beaten to death in that forest she realized that she had been searching for a word as the leaves overhead had swirled like paint and as the darkness had seeped in around her from all to protect her, Sakura realized that she had been searching for a word in this forest. A very simple word.
Powerless.
She nearly felt ungrateful for having lived that day, blinded by disgust for her ineptitude. She had been clever, even then, and her mind used that very simple word she had found in that forest as a whetting stone. Sharpened to a wicked edge against each syllable.
The gap between her and her teammates was so plainly obvious after this event that she nearly screamedthat she wanted to scream, and in her rage lay waste to all that she saw. . She wanted to lay waste to everything that she saw in her rage, and the terrible The more upsetting truth came to light that she couldn't even do that. There was no outlet for the roaring fire in her heart, she wasn't strong enough to lay waste to anything. of it was that she couldn't. That she wasn't strong enough to lay waste to anything. She had Her heartbeat throbbed in her ears, heat creeping up her neck as she remembered all the weak punches she had thrown. The endlessly half-hearted training sessions. Deluded by the vision of a dark-haired boy that she had believed to be a prince. deluded herself with her weak punches and halfhearted training sessions. With a dark haired boy that she had believed to be a hero, that would later leave in the night like a coward.
He would later leave in the night. A coward after all.
Heroes don't run away.
And it made her Her rage simmered to embers that night, and although they still burned, she began to dig past them inside her mind. A well dark and deep. Still and quiet with the silent rage that she had been left behind. Her former teammate's nonchalant cruelty fed a hate that she had not realized she was fostering. blood boil that she was being left behind. It made her hate her former teammate, a little bit more every day. HowWhere was the equity in this situation? How could this idiotic, self-absorbed bastard villain be better than her? than her? How could a boy so delusional be so exponentially greater than she?
In the days that followed she trained harder, choosing to remember every sneer, every glare, every hateful word that had been directed at her. She pretended always that it was for love that she wished to make him come back to the village, and not that she wanted to prove that she she trained and she chose to remember every sneer, every glare, every hateful word that had ever been directed at her, and she pretended that it was only for love that she wished to force his return. And not that she wanted to bring him back to prove that she could.
She began to lean on another boy, this one with blonde hair and dreams bigger than the whole sky. Her knight in shining armor. He was willing to see a world that didn't love him as a challenge to be conquered. Without noticing she had created a new hero, though. One that she hadn't ever acknowledged as one. A blonde one with a loud voice and an obnoxious smile and a dream so big it could have crushed her beneath it. He was no dark prince. He had no hidden meanings. This was a knight. So light And was so effervescently bright to her in those days that he could have shamed the sun. It was love that had propelled her in the Forest of Death only months prior and it was that same love that had her clinging to the hope that this blonde-haired hooligan would never leave her. Her last barrier between her and the crippling reality of a world of knives, poison, and death that she had studied all her life but that she had never understood. and true and honorable that he could have shamed the sun. And somewhere inside of herself she leaned on this steadfast knight to never leave. The last barrier she had between herself and the crippling reality of a world of death and destruction that she had studied all her life but had never understood.
But barriers can fall, and hers crumbled to believe that walls are meant to crumble.
He was going to leave the village and become stronger, he said. He was going to bring a traitor to redemption, he said. to become stronger. He would bring a traitor to redemption. He would save them will be the ones to save each other, the village said.
She wept.
The waters grew ever deeper. Ever darker.
And she could only watch numbly as he disappeared. It was with his departure that something inside of her split in two. Something that she refused to think of as her heart, She refused to believe it could be her heart, as it felt like so much more than that. No no failing organ could possibly compare.
As the years passed her The little pink girl turned red.
And her muscles hardened, and her feet became swifter, her eyes too watchful, and her mind sharper than any blade she could ever wield. and her steps became lighter, and her eyes became sharper.
Sakura Haruno became a shinobi.
Red dyed her very being, she Years passed her by. And the red could no longer be washed wash it from her hands.
The blood of those she had saved.
The blood of those she had killed.
Her life had begun again, her friends had forgotten her more humble beginnings. She worked at the hospital and became a true doctor. Always New friends. New purpose. New life. Always looking forward, for fear that if she dared to glance backback, she would trip and fall, and that the waters inside of her would rise to swallow her whole. and fall. It was a descent that haunted her dreamsnightmares, and , just at the corner of her consciousness. iIt took the form shapes of a dark eyeddark-eyed prince, and a golden hairedgolden-haired knight, and a silver flash that would disappear every time she tried to look just a little bit closerjust at the corner of her eye.
These dreams faded with time too, as most things do, s
She spent her days making new and vibrant memories, ones ones that that washed out the old onesher old life into indistinguishable shades of beige. Made them look faded and worn, ragged around the edges and too blurry to discern.
She had new nightmares now. In those dreams, she was back in that forest. She dreams she kills a little pink girl.
Her eyes Sakura's eyes were bright from bloodshed the night that her past flooded through into the presentbroke the dam of memory into the present.
Her team had been assigned a A mission in Oto territory. A chuunin that she was particularly fond of had compromised his position before the scroll they had been sent for could be retrieved. The enemy had been alerted to the intrusion and hell had broken loose.
One of her rookies had compromised their positions and they had been discovered by the enemy. Sakura had found him later, crumpled haphazardly on the ground, a hole plowed straight through where his face had previously been. The his chest and burns that reminded her all too well that she could have sworn she had heard there had been birds chirping before they had been attacked by Oto-nin on all sides. She could still hear faint fighting in the distance. The sounds of fighting were fading away, the chakra signatures of her team being moved by her summons to a safer rendezvous point. Escaping into the night, their bounty in tow. An Oto shinobi fell to the ground in front of her, bright red hair fanning out from her faceher face and glasses shattered on the ground, an empty husk left behind as her spirit escaped into the night.
"Sasuke!"
It was not just the name, but the voice that tore through her senses like a lightning strike. and her Her eyes zeroed in on the end of the dimlydimly lit lighted corridor. She knew that voice, and now that the. And now that the Oto-nin with the red hair was no longer shrieking vulgarities at her, there were other key tells of who was here with her. Years after she had laid flowers at their graves in her mind. The she could detect the sounds of fighting that sounded too familiarsounds of familiar steps, the feeling of familiar chakra, and the sense of familiar dread. It had been years and Sakura had still yet to find two other shinobi who fought as they did.
The blurry image she had chosen to forget seeped back into technicolor shades, three men that had left her in a village to grow old, give up, and be unbearably average. It was then that the previously pastel colors of her past seeped back to a more saturated state in her consciousness, a blurry image of three men that had left her in a village to be forgotten. To grow older and give up and be so unbearably average.
There was a choice here: It was here that she was presented with a choice. fFight or flight. She took her time to think it over.
A And a half second later she wwas tearing down the hall, towards the sounds of an obnoxious over-the-top fight, , which felt too familiar for comfort, with grim expectation. Her summons would aid her team in escaping. had aided her team in escaping, if she were to die there would be no difference to the result of the mission. She was performing mental gymnastics to rationalize something unthinkably dumb. A jonin captain would always be more valuable than a bounty, and definitely more valuable than revenge for a lost chuunin. His shade had been added to the well of rage she had dug in her childhood though. And the waters were starting to if she were to die then it would make no difference. She reminded herself of the rookie that had been murdered, and it irked her that she could put a face to the killer. Their fight had involved her the moment that her chuunin's heart had stopped beating.
The tremor of the ground made her feet move all the quicker. The ground tremored beneath her, propelling her quicker into the compound. This was what they had left their village for. No revenge or redemption, but for each other. This battle of good and evil, right and wrong, Naruto and Sasuke. A story that would leave an imprint on the world for generations to come. She was a footnote here. She remembered her place in their world. A tale that had never included a fragile spring child left to wither and fade.
The corridor widened out and dispensed her into a cavernous room with two men so incredibly focused on maiming each other that they had not deemed her worthy to be acknowledge.
It gave her pause seeing them like this, her eyes sharp and searching. It was a vantage point that she had grown accustomed to in her adolescence, and one that she now took full advantage of when given the opportunity. It was from this place that she first spotted the flaws in their approaches, the misstep that Naruto didn't see quick enough take advantage of, and the slight deceleration of his Rasengan in his fourth step that Sasuke was too focused to notice.
Powerful. Practically invincible. Flawed.
How strange to think of it that wayodd. How inconceivable that she had never noticed it before now.
She strolled stalked onto their battleground, just another shadow in a room of shadows cast by jutting rocks and debris. The massive room had probably started much smaller before the two men had decided to throw their weight around. .
Taking in the panoramic view, Sakura felt the weight of the years on her shoulders again. Reminded that the world in this room was not reality, but a fantasy created by the two main characters of this story. There wasn't room for anyone else, but here she was. A A shadow taking form in the dim lighting of the massive room that she supposes was much smaller before this fight had begun. She is a red scarf and a black uniform, a and a girl that they do not know.
They continued to dance through their fight, graceful as animals, casting jitsu that she had only read of. Legends at their finest. Sasuke had a bright crimson horizontal slice on his chest that she could plainly see due to the ridiculous nature of his shirthis ridiculous shirt, and Naruto had chakra burns up his arms that would have made her cringe were she not trained as a medicfield medic, and hadn't . Also, if she hadn't also just left a man with his spinal cord completely ripped from his body lying on the ground a few hallways away. The burns did, however, make her quirk an eyebrow at how sloppy the Uchiha Sasuke must have been to get so close and still not be able to land a solid strike more critically.
This was not a fight that she would normally involve herself with; she would should be with her team returning to Konohagakure with a scroll that was almost definitely not worth the loss of a chuuninchuunin that didn''t know any better. But insteadInstead, she was here, because in some twisted way the silly quarrel still involved felt like she should be involved. She didn't want to think of the implications of her current mental state.
She leaned her head ever Her head dipped leisurely to the right and was followed by a rush of air that affirmed the kunai which had been aimed to pierce through her left eye. so slightly to the right and the rush of air to her left affirmed the kunai that had been aimed for her head. Sasuke's attempt trying to stop any interference from an inferior shinobi.
"Teme, this fight is between you and me!"
"Hn. I will destroy these bonds with you. With Kakashi. They mean nothing."
Oh, the banter. Her training was the only thing that stopped her eye roll at the pageantry of the only she hadn't matured past the point of rolling her eyes at the sheer stupidity of the situation. Zip up your pants and put the rulers away, boys.
She tossed a kunai into the mix, both men dodging it before it exploded. The shrapnel forced them further apart.
"Just oOn principle, I feel as though I should have been mentioned in at least one of those two sentencesthere,." Her voice was deeper in the night, dry from exertion.
She could practically feel the shadows shifting on her face, finally slipping away to illuminate pink hair and a bored expression. She said nonchalantly, shadows across her face shifting and settling to illuminate pink hair and a bored expression.
Recognition.
"Sakura-chan, what are you doing here?!" Naruto shouted, hesitant to give up his position on the high ground to run to her. Which, to his credit, he was poised to do already.
"Don't get involved, Sakura." Sasuke seemed to cut himself off from saying her name at the end. Pleasant as always. His black hair shined in the lamplight.
'He's too pretty to be taken seriously,' she thought. Finding the situation funny despite herself.
It amazed her how they did this. Both pausingpaused in their fight to inform their former teammate of what she could or could not do. Some things, she supposed, never change. They spoke as though they still had the right to speak to her, as though she had not been left to rot in a village and fester in her mediocrity They spoke to her as though they still knew her, as though they had not left her alone years beforehand and had most likely only been thought of by either man in passingonly thought of her in passing.
And yet,Yet they both had the gall to stand there as though they weren't trying to kill each other and were attempting to give her instructionstrying to instruct her instead. As though this was a regular occurrence. And perhaps, for them, it was.
"One of you killed my teammate." She replied shortly, inclining her head towards the Uchiha clan member who looked as though he was preparing to make his dramatic departure before Naruto could drag him back to Konoha kicking and screaming, "I'm going to take a shot in the dark and guess who."
It was simple. Too easy. She took a hHalf step to the right, using Sshunshin to grab hold of the Uchiha's collar pressing the , chakra seal against his chest. A whisper of skin contact before she was standing perfectly still. Exactly where she started. on his upper right arm. And it's as though she was never there. Standing perfectly still at the far end of the room closest to the exit.
Sasuke froze instantaneously, no doubt feeling the sensation of his chakra pattern redirecting. The slightest tinge of red crept over his neck, "What did you do, Sakura."
Her name. Finally. And being spat out like a curse word. Wonderful.
"You know exactly what I did, Sasuke. That Figure it out. Some of us don't like the pomp and frill of explaining our master plans." She should leave now, she knew, she should go while Naruto had the advantage, but she couldn't help the cheap shot that came bubbling up, "grand escape plan can be postponed for a bit. It's always been disgusting watching you slither away, and I would like to think that a shinobi of the Leaf would have more honorI thought even ex-shinobi of Konoha would have more honor. Even scum like you."
A pause. A breath. And he wasis in front of her. and Naruto's voice roaring behind him, panic and rage on his face as he sprinted toward them.s is yelling something in the background.
"Run!, Sakura-chan!"
"There is nowhere to ," the dark-haired manHe spoke slowly, his voice dangerously low in an intimidation method so intimidatingly low that would have scared most nin and most definitely would have cowed a younger version of herself. Fear was a distant memory; she had seen things that would have shaken any ANBU to their very core. Rationality on the other hand was her ever present companion, but as Sakura faced the boy in a man's body who had been her everything and still scurried away like a rat, who had killed a chuunin who had believed that he had a chance at the jonin exams in the coming year, that rationality was dimming. Like flickering candlelight at the bottom of deep, and dark water. The water was rising to the surface now, crashing against her mind,, ' but she was not a little girl and all she felt was defiance simmering inside of her, hissing at him, I will never run from not runyou.'
Her teammate had been killed by this child. This boy in a man's body, this boy who had once been everything to her and had scurried away like a rat. She was not stronger than him, b. But she was far smarter. If and if it came down to an out and out fight she couldn't predict the outcome. fight, not even her logistics could predict the outcome.
Black eyes and the smell of blood and smell of blood and fire filled her nose.
"Sasuke, get away from her!"
It was like watching a very boring movie, where you had already guessed the ending. The kind that you had already guessed the ending to. The gA glint of a katana. The orange flash of a jumpsuit. And a A quirked smile that seemed out of place on such a sweet face.
Shift weight, fake left, grab hold of Naruto, and duck. She moved fluidly, even with the extra body that she had taken along for the ride. Shunshin Flash stepping to put space between them aher and the Uchiha. This was not her fight to become involved in, and all she had to do was evade. Now why she had taken the blonde idiot blonde man at her side with her, she had yet to process.
"Sakura-chan?" His expression confused and his heartbeat beneath her hands irregular. From the fight or from seeing her? She allowed herself the thought but didn't allow herself to think of the answer. It wouldn't matter in the end. She quickly forced them to the right, behind what used to be a part of the ceiling to avoid the bolt of fire streaming where they had once stood.
"I won't interfere if you two want to kill each other.," Sh She responded, releasing him Naruto from her grip.
, "The seal is payback for Hoshigawa Rei. And for pity's sake, Sasuke, fight like a not to wriggle away this time, Sasuke," she said lowly, knowing he could hear her regardless of her volume, " aAt the very least Naruto has the guts to take the stupid and honorable approach."
She was a ninjaninja, and she could understand that tricks and deception were the basis of her livelihood, the tools of her trade, but if there was such thing as lying with honorhonor, she liked to think she possessed it. Naruto still didn't seem tohad never grasped that concept fully. grasp the concept that a ninja was to rely on stealth and cover and lies. He was a terrible ninja but, she would admit, a fantastic hero.
And at the moment Hhe was staring at her instead of at his opponent, which was a rookie mistake to a degree that she wondered how he was still alive. and Sakura felt as though her eyebrow would begin to twitch soon enough if they didn't get to it. She was just evening the playing field. If Sasuke could fight dirty and Naruto wouldn't, then she would take up the slacktaking up some slack to ensure that Sasuke couldn't run away and maybe counted too closely to playing dirty for him.
His voice was too soft, and Sakura had the knee jerk reaction to cringe or sigh long-sufferingly. "I'm not going to kill him, Sakura-chan." She internally cringed at the look in his eyes, "Oi, bastard, I AIN'T KILLING YOU. See?" He asked, turning having fully revealed himself from their shelter point, and then looking back to her and opening his arms out ashis arms outstretched as though that was proof of his sincerity.
Was he trying to… comfort her? Did he think that she was upset over the prospect of the Uchiha dyingof him murdering someone? She was reminded again that he It made sense that he would still be in such a mindset as he had not been around to see the terrible things that she had done. And she Sasuke was performing archaic jitsu involving purple flames to dissolve the chakra block, his attention split between his former teammates and his task. Doing what Naruto had no intention of doing apparently, she didn't take her eyes off of their mutual enemySasuke as she responded, "I don't care what you two do or don't do. He killed my subordinate, y and was going to run away from a fight. You're both free to kill to murder each otherhim. In fact, I can give you a nominal fee for the service. if you so please."
Sasuke glanced towards them then, depthless eyes and quirked eyebrow disclosing more of a reaction than she had come to expectwas staring at her with depthless eyes and a quirked eyebrow which was more of a reaction than she had ever expected from him, but it was the voice next to her that made her eyes shift to the endless blue of the Kyuubi jinchurikki, "What happened to you, Sakura-chan?"
It should have stung to hear those words. If she had it in her, she would have laughed, but the weight of her mission pressed on her shoulders and the obligation to resign excuse herself from this fight and return to her home kept stifled the whatever mirthless chuckle that was trying to escape locked in her throat. But her Her eyes were now (stupidly) locked on the man in the ridiculous jumpsuit beside her. He was taller than she remembered. gaze didn't waver from the man in the ridiculous jumpsuit beside her. He was taller than she remembered.
"I have slight abandonment issues that manifest as severe indifference to surreal or stressful issues, probably."
It was only partially funny, and probably only so to her.
"Tch. Annoying."
"OhOh, give it a rest, Sasuke. No one cares about your opinion." She said, glancing at him, not at all perturbed that he had flash stepped was much closer to them than he had been while toward them while they had been sharing in her awkward moment of half this inappropriately timed heart to heart.
His katana swept in a smooth arc towards her neck. It annoyed her that she was still here, let alone being dragged included as a prop into in a fight that had never involved her in the first had started years ago and had never included her.
Her body She contorted herself beneath the blade as though her bones were as flexible as clay and narrowed her eyes disdainfully at the missing nin.
""What is wrong with you?!"" Naruto yelled, eyes bleeding to red and teeth elongating as his chakra spiked dangerously. Sakura marveled at the fact that he hadn''t picked up on it. Sasuke had tried to kill her, halfhearted as it may have been, as he most likely doubted that she would be able to dodge in time. Or perhaps maybe he didn''t really wish to kill her, but she found that a harder concept to she found harder to believe. Either way, the aftermath would be enough to anger Naruto to the point of losing control. An infantile plan, and one. But one that seemed to be workingworking, nonetheless.
""I already told you. I must sever all bonds with Konoha. I must gain power.""
BBlah blah blah blah blah. Straightening herself sheIt was like listening to a broken record, straightening herself she raised her eyebrows at his statement, ""I thought I didn''t count as one?. I was here for that unending monologue Your monologue from before was very touching but I do know that my name isn't Kakashibefore and I am almost positive my name wasn't thrown around at any point.""
He ignored her and it was just as well. Naruto was about to idiotically attack attack like a berserker, sheer rage swathing around him like fire. He had no plan, only raw and unyielding power. For him, with no plan, and only raw and unyielding power to aid him. And for him, it would probably be enough. It was always enough for Uzumaki Naruto., which would have annoyed her if her own apathy weren't so strong.
""Calm yourself, down."" She ordered, feeling herself fall into a strange crevice between the mountains of she was and who she had become, and this new role was unappreciative of the lack of response from the former teammate who was currently losing control of himself. She wanted to leave but her feet would not lead her away. Her hands were unable to make the proper signs.
How had it ended up this way? She had gotten herself mixed in to this to a confrontation, her regret was bitter on her tongue. and now she couldn't seem to excuse herself from this moronic encounter.
""Finally, I am able to see your true power.""
Her head nearly swiveled like an owl swiveled like an owl's to watch the last Uchiha the dark haired man move towards the Kyuubi vessel, a smirk so arrogant settled on his face that she audibly sighed, " that it made her sigh exasperatedly, "You should have your own stage drama, Sasuke. You could just say Saying only weird one-liners that absolutely no one would understandno one could possibly take seriously. You could have a slutty little harem following you around like the old days.. Just like old times."
Well that got a reaction. EHis eyes narrowed, and completely focused on her. The adoring fan girl that had loved him so deeply that she had nearly ruined her life to follow afterfollow him into the dark. How incredibly shocking underwhelming it had to be to see her like this, "Watch your mouth, Sakura." The warning was clear in his tone, she nearly bristled at the command. which didn't make any sense considering that she had been a part of that fan club back in the 'old times'.
Her old His comment nearly made her bristle, old habits were dying a cold and hard death. It had taken years to destroy the inane sense of pride that had been her weak point for so long, and with every word that came out of Sasuke's mouth it was becoming easier to remember what it felt like to punch someone out of righteous angerthe feeling of sweet justice after punching someone in the mouth, "Or what, Sasuke? You're going to kill me?" She asked, winking at him conspiratorially, mocking him for his previous and failed attempt to at ending her to get a reaction out of the blonde jinchurikki, "If you would stop running away from from your fights Naruto maybe you could sever your bonds with-"
"Sasuke!" The roar echoed throughout the cavernous room and made her eyes narrow and her body whip around to watch Naruto slowly losing a battle with himself. Sasuke began readying a at Naruto who had just cut her off.
"I. Am. TALKING." "Naruto," she said, getting closer to her oldest friend, her almost adversary, "Wake up." Her voice boomed in the room, her own jutsu amplifying her voice to the point that Naruto's transformation paused. The Kyuubi's hold on his mind interrupted for long enough that he was regaining control.
Sasuke's jutsu had lightening flashing towards them both, Naruto unceremoniously flung himself on top of her. She wondered what Jiraiya could possibly be teaching him that this was his version of shouted, vaguely annoyed at the interruption; her voice boomed throughout the room so forcefully that the transformed nin across from them actually paused, "And you will sit there and listen."
She needed to meet back with her team. But a small traitorous part of her whispered that she was with her team. The wave in her mind crashed again, reminding her of what these two had given up to constantly chase each other. An ouroboros. No beginning or end.
She disentangled herself from Naruto and was halfway across the room, slowly sinking towards the shadows so as not to be involved in this showboating any further. SSighing and feeling absolutely ridiculous with the amount of pageantry that was being displayed in this particular encounter, she noted the perfect symmetry of their positions: Naruto and Sasuke, with her standing in between. Your team, a treacherous part of her whispered and it sounded like the lapping of water at the shore.
"Kill each other. Don't kill each other. I don't care. My mission was not to bring either of you two back. and I don't plan to try. Your goals will leave you chasing shadows, revenge, or a team that was dead in the ground the day you left it." You are a missing nin with an all consuming goal that will leave you empty. And you will chase after him until the day that you lie cold in the ground. I have things of more import to deal with than your nonsense."
DThe deathly quiet descended. They were staring Not what she had anticipated. An instant rebuttal from Naruto or being brushed off by Sasuke but she only got stares and a hand was halfway reached out to her, "Ja ne." And she was gone. Floating away like the whisper of a wind.
It startled her what she felt as she disappeared further into the night to reconvene with the squad that would be returning without one of its members. Two very distinct chakra signatures disengaging, but both reaching out into that dark void of night as they left. fanning out from each other and searching. Searching for something or someone. Searching. SShe shook her head and continued forward. Never daring to look back.
She didn't dare look back.
"I heard an interesting rumor today, Sakura."
A silver flash out of her peripheral that she didn't bother to look at as she walked into her apartment that she was sure that positive she had locked before she had left. She had anticipated this meeting conversation sooner or later, and as she was still in her blood spatteredblood-spattered uniform, he clearly could not wait to ask her, "Really, Kakashi? And what rumor would that be, considering I only just gave my mission report while someone was lurking beneath the window."
He could not fool her with his fake eye crinkles anymore. It had been years since she had laidn eyes on him, only catching glimpses of silver hair in a crowd or on a rooftop just passing by. He smiled at her, and it reminded her of the days that she had waited for him at the training grounds. The days he never came.
There was a time that she and she was reminded horribly of when she would have trusted this man with her life, would have believed that he would save her above all others but there . But there would always be two that he would shield before her, and she was well aware of that fact,that those two phantoms were who had driven him to break his unquestionable silence. To speak to her after all this time. "How strange that it spread this fast then!" He said amiably, avoiding denying the accusation in her voice, affirming his guiltthe question which was enough affirmation enough of his guilt, "I heard that you saw Sasuke and Naruto."
She sighed and placed her nin vest over the back of her desk chair and finally turned to look at him. As ageless as ever. Frozen in time beneath a mask that hid everything but what he wished it would. His heart and soul still exposed at the names of the students that had gotten awaythat he had lost, "Yes, I did. I'm sure Tsunade will share the mission report with you if you ask."
"I want to hear it from you."
He shifted his weight to lean against the wall, completely at ease in her home, and it made her wonder how many times he had broken in already. Of courseOf course, she had noticed before, some things being out of place, a pillow slightly off center, or a mug placed in the sink that had previously been on the counter. Momentarily checking up on the only student that had followed his rules, the only student that showed that they cared at all. All the attention that he could give her was to make sure that she was alive but only tangentially.. Sakura shook her head, and looked , looking away from him again, "Why, Kakashi? My firsthand account is written down in a completely comprehensive mission report. I have nothing else to say on the matter."
"What happened, Sakura?"
His hand on her shoulder made her jump, he backed away hands up as though not to startle her further.. She was tired, worn out, and the water was inching ever higher in her mind. and worn and Sshe did not like the disadvantage that she was at. With a comrade or not she was far too vulnerable, "I can only assume that you mean tonight, Kakashi. And not what has happened the past fivethree years." She snapped, at him as she shrugged off his hand and walkinged to her desk in search of a pair of gloves that were too soaked in blood to be left to itself overnight that were stashed in her vest pocket..
He watched her apathetically as she continued looking through her vest pockets, "I know I haven't necessarily been around much, but you see-"
Her hum of satisfaction cut him off as she pulled the pair from inside an interior pocket. Nearly black drops of blood fell sluggishly from the areas that had yet to dry, making, and made soft dripping noises when the liquid hit her floor as she examined them. The pink haired woman's shoulders slumped as the exhaustion settled itself as forcefully as possible into her bones, "Haven't been around much? You've avoided me for years, Kakashi – I was convinced you had forgotten I existed by now."
It was too truthful. Too much. She would have preferred cold silence to the bone deep tiredness she was feeling. Walking towards the sink, "They were both alive and- "
"Whose blood is that?" Kakashi was no longer smiling.
Sakura glanced at the gloves before running the tap to rinse the blood out, the water ran red to pink, "I don't suppose you would care if it wasn't either of theirs. It isn't, I was there as a spectator. I'm sure you've seen it all before." It's not either of theirs, Kakashi, so calm yourself. If I wanted them dead I would have at least brought back the bodies. And I don't want your excuses, I stop wishing for them a long time ago. All I want is to wash out these gloves and rest for a little while. So please… just go."
He took a seat at her small kitchen table, and she realized in the span of a day her world had shrunk. The last piece of the puzzle fitting into place with her almost-sensei, "That isn't what I heard. I heard that you were very much involved. That you have a way to subvert the transformation of the vessels."
She shut off the tap, laying the gloves out to dry. Still not making eye contact with the man who should not be in her apartment, or acknowledging she exists. But she had been involved with his golden children, and now she was interesting. Another wave came crashing over her, the feeling of something darker than she knew how to feel, "I lost one of my teammates this mission. I have been put through hell most missions but today I lost someone, and you have the gall to speak to me about those two?"
Her voice did not come out as a shout but low and seething. He knew that she was on the brink of trying to attack him. He stayed very still, "I'm sorry, Sakura."
"Where would this concern be if I hadn't been associated to those two today, Kakashi. Make it less obvious at least, so I can pretend that you would have eventually come back for me." Then just as suddenly, the wave receded, she slumped into the chair across from him. Watching the ticks and twitches of his face that she had never noticed before, "I'll tell you all the details tomorrow, please just do what you are best at. Go."
It was like speaking to a concrete wall and Sakura didn't bother continuing to persuade him to leave her apartment. Kakashi Hatake would go when he so wished it, and not a moment sooner.
"I didn't think it was theirit was theirss," he said, beginning to stand.
"What was theirs?"
"Your gloves. I didn't think it was theirs." . It could be anyone's." He said over the sound of her tap turning on. She couldn't bring herself to care that he didn't believe her capable of killing the two men that had left her. She felt this too often now. She felt nothing far too often. Just a lukewarm apathy to him and to them.
The red water water slipped through her fingers as she wrung out the gloves that had grabbed hold of a man's spinal cord and dislodged it from its place in his body, "Sorry if that's hard to believe, Kakashi. Why would you care if it wasn't them?Why would you care if it wasn't them, Kakashi? Why care about a nobody?" She asked, closing her eyes against the exhaustion from the day, the week, the year.
"It could have been yours."
"What?" She asked, finally opening her eyes but her eyebrows furrowed, but his chakra signature was gone before the word left her mouth. How fitting. There and gone again, as though he had never been there in the first place. It was a night of familiar things that made her want to feel something again. Anything at all. that made everything hurt. Heartbreak like an old wound tender again after being touched. She closed her eyes, slipping to the tile of her kitchen floor. She had no tears left for them. They had been spent filling the well in her mind that she had dug all those years ago. Now the water levels were slowly slipping back down, the water calm and no longer threatening to drown her. Even sadness would do. But as she listened to the silence that ensued after his departure all she felt was her ever present indifference.
She did not have tears for them. That well had dried up over an extended period of time in a drought of absence and distrust. But tonight there were storm clouds in the distance. Rumbling with thunder that had been gone so long from her life. It was a rain that she had not realized she was missing before. Not quite there but not yet disappeared.
Being with them had been difficult. More so than she had ever anticipated.
SBut as she settled herself on the tiles of her kitchen floor staring out into the emptiness of her apartment, she contemplated in the cold of her apartment if being without them was worse.
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