JENNIE
As soon as I cleared the security check, I found my gate. I still had half an hour before boarding. I shuffled to the farthest corner by the window and hid my face by looking outside. I couldn't calm myself down; my nose was running, and tears were sliding down my cheeks. I opened the photo app on my phone and scrolled through ones I had taken on the trip. I stopped at the selfie of Lisa and me in bed, the morning sun glowing on our faces, happy. I knew she was not far, but soon I would be putting thousands of miles between us.
While I was looking at the photo, I touched my ring. I needed to be strong, for Lisa, for Kai, for myself. Kai was unconscious somewhere in the operating room, and I needed to break up with him. The dull pain in the back of my head started every time I thought about it. It wouldn't be easy to do.
A woman announced the boarding call. I took a few deep breaths. There was no way to hide my puffy eyes, but at least I had managed to stop crying.
My seat was by the window, and the first thing I wanted to do was cover my face with the blanket and hide inside my pain, wailing silently. Or I wanted to just drop everything and run back to her.
A man in his forties sat beside me. He was wearing a dark, expensive suit. Who wears a suit on a thirteen-hour flight? He opened his laptop and dove into some kind of report. Good, no polite talking from him.
I gazed out the window. There was a swarm of workers doing last-minute checks, loading the plane with provisions, and pumping the fuel in.
Finally, everyone was on board. I looked at my ring and typed a text message to Lisa, a simple "I love you," and switched off the phone.
Three simple words, tossed around everywhere in the world. Meaning everything to one, meaning nothing to another. How could I write down in a text message what I felt?
I stroked the stone on the starfish and closed my eyes, seeing her eyes in front of me. The woman that turned my world upside down, who made me question my beliefs, my sexuality, and my needs. But with her, my puzzle clicked right and finished. Before I was lost, my wishes disregarded, and now, I found myself, found me in her arms. A wave of gratitude swallowed me, the wave of knowing that wherever I went, I would always be looking for her.
I closed my eyes when the plane climbed up, high into the white clouds. I thought about the last ten days and realized that only two months ago I didn't know that I would meet the love of my life soon, and that the love of my life would be a woman. I didn't know that it was possible to feel this kind of closeness, this unity. I could almost touch the energy pulsing between us. I didn't know this level of passion existed, this selfless feeling of doing everything for another person.
I knew we could make it work. This was not a flicker of a relationship, not a spark—it was here, and it burnt in the moment. It would grow to something even bigger and stronger, stronger than both of us. I knew what I felt. And I had asked her to wait for me.
I passed time watching thrillers, trying to take my mind off already missing Lisa and worrying about Kai. How was he? When could he let me go?
When we finally landed in Frankfurt, I had managed to get a few hours of restless sleep between watching three movies I didn't remember any details of and eating lots of plane food.
I had a forty-minute connection, which was pretty short for such a big airport. As soon as we landed, I switched on the data on my iPhone. A message from Lisa pinged, a reply to mine from thirteen hours ago. "You are my life now."
The warmth spread inside me. I sent her a message saying that I was rushing to my connecting flight.
I called Alex.
"Hi, how is he?"
"Yesterday the visiting hours ended, and they asked me to leave. He was still in the operating room, and since then I haven't heard any news from the hospital. I am on my way there."
My hands trembled.
"Do you think he's alright?" I asked.
"Yesterday they said that there was no danger to his life, that his legs were severely damaged, but they checked everything else, saying that as far as they could see, everything was stable. And I assume since there was no news, everything's okay."
"I can be in the hospital in four hours. I'll go straight from the airport."
"I will meet you there," Alex said.
When I rushed to the next gate, boarding had already started.
The two-and-a-half-hour flight was slow. I tried to read, but I kept rereading the same passage three times, so I listened to music. Images of Lisa's eyes kept appearing in my mind, her smile and her lips on my skin. The latest album by a popular band played on repeat in her house, and scenes it conjured in my mind made me blush.
But what about Kai? I betrayed him already, I cheated on him, I was ready to break up with him, and now what? The guilt of my actions pressed me down like the changing gravity in the plane. I didn't want to do it, to face him, to put on a hypocritical smile while all the while I wanted to say goodbye and run back to Lisa.
When we landed, I grabbed my bag and moved down the aisle, turning on my phone. Some messages from my brother immediately started pinging.
"He is semi-conscious, and he needs you," a message from Alex said.
"I will be there as fast as I can. I only just exited the plane. If you see him first, please say I am on my way."
I rushed down the corridor to the passport control area. Not many people were in line, and lots of windows were open. I got my passport checked in five minutes and rushed to the baggage claim. It was silent, and the belt wasn't moving. I stepped aside and eased myself onto a bench. I looked around at the familiar airport; I was home. My wanting to leave Kai didn't mean that I had stopped caring about him, and now he was hurt. Cheat, my mind whispered. I pushed the thought away. Where were those damn bags? The belt still wasn't moving. I prayed Kai was okay. I started hyperventilating, wishing Lisa was by my side. But when would I see her again? My Lisa.
Finally, the belt moved, delivering my bag in three minutes. I snatched it and rushed outside. The cold hit my nostrils; I had gotten used to the LA warmth. My hands were shaking uncontrollably, and I couldn't unlock the phone. Fat tears were sliding down my face again. I managed to get an Uber, as fortunately the driver was already there.
In the taxi, I tried to calm myself. During the flight, it all seemed unreal, as if it was not happening to me. And now seeing the familiar landscape and the streets, it hit me. I was in love with a person whom I had left miles away, and I was heading to help my boyfriend recover, how twisted was that? Kai needed me, and he needed me to be strong, not a crying lovesick girl.
It felt like hours; the car was crawling in the dense traffic in the center of the city. Eventually, we reached the hospital. I grabbed my huge trolley bag and rushed inside. At the reception area, a woman eyed my bag and said that Kai was still in the recovery room, and she asked me to sit in the waiting area. I called Alex, finding he was there already, in the waiting room. I stumbled toward him, catching other people's legs with my luggage, murmuring sorry, stopping in front of him. Alex was just a little taller than me, his light brown hair a mess, needing a haircut, but his eyes, just a copy of mine, scanned my red puffy face.
"Come here," he said, enveloping me in his arms. His familiar smell made me remember where I was, at home. But home now meant being far away from Lisa.
"How is he?" I asked.
"They didn't say much, but both of his legs are broken."
Oleg, Kai's friend, was rushing to the reception area. I called out to him. He saw my face, and his expression fell. We told him we did not know anything yet. He hugged me awkwardly.
"He will be alright," Oleg promised. "You know, he was preparing a welcome home party for you."
"Oh," was all I could say, my chest tightening.
Two more of Kai's friends joined us, Igor and Victor. We all sat in silence, my head resting on Alex's shoulder. After what seemed like years, but in reality was only hours, the nurse called us.
"We took scans and operated on his left leg and hip. The bones were shattered in eight places. His right leg is also broken. He will experience some extreme pain, and his knee was displaced," she said. Each word dropped like a stone in my hollow chest. He was hurt, badly.
"What all this means is that he won't be walking any time soon. He will need to stay in bed. The recovery period will take a minimum of six months, and he will need constant care."
My body started shaking, and Alex's tightened his grip around me. If it wasn't for him, my knees would have buckled, and I would have fallen. I felt like I was falling already, along with all my plans for the future. Every sentence she said was like a hit in my gut. I just couldn't breathe.
"But the bright side is that his spine isn't damaged. The scans didn't show anything we should worry about. His legs took all the impact. And his head, while he hit it pretty badly, has no internal bleeding. Everything is fine on the scans. We will keep an eye on him, but as far as we can see, he is lucky."
I whimpered and covered my mouth with my hand. I was thankful to hear the word lucky.
"Will he be able to walk?" I asked the question everyone had in their mind.
"Eventually, yes, but it will be a long and painful process. In the beginning, he will only be able to lie in bed. He will need the help of a physiotherapist every day for the first months."
She said that he would stay in the hospital for two to three weeks, and then when he got home, he would need constant care for the first couple of months.
He needed me, and again I hated myself for thinking about myself in these moments, for feeling like I was trapped here. What kind of shitty person was I?
Igor kept asking questions. He had a medical education and was now working as a dentist. They kept repeating medical terms I couldn't understand.
"Can I see him?" I interrupted.
"One person can; he is still unconscious. But he will start to wake up soon, and it would be nice for him to see a familiar face. Please wait here, and I will call you."
And she left. We all stood there in silence.
"Do you want to change? I can take your bag to your flat, since I am not allowed to see him," Alex asked me.
Alex loved Kai. They had become close friends, and the accident hit Alex hard, but he was being calm for me, keeping up a strong appearance.
I pulled a few things from the bag, changed as fast as I could in the dingy hospital bathroom, hid the ring deep in my purse, and hugged Alex goodbye.
"Thank you."
The nurse appeared and called me. As we were walking down the corridor, she said, "His face is pretty bruised, so don't be shocked. The swelling will come down in a few days."
I nodded. We reached the white door with '112' on it, and the nurse pushed it open for me. I stepped inside.
The walls were white, and a big window showed the backyard of the hospital with trees and a small park in the heart of the bustling city.
Kai was lying on the white sheets. I gasped when I saw his face: bruises under both eyes, his nose was swollen, and the left side was dark purple. There was a big scratch on his forehead. The face that I loved, the face that had studied me every morning for the past three years, the face I kissed and the lips that kissed me back was all damaged to a point beyond recognition, and I couldn't imagine the pain Kai was feeling.
I heard the nurse leave the room, quietly closing the door.
Tears pooled in the corners of my eyes as I stepped closer to him. His right hand seemed to be the usual color, as all the impact had come on the left side. I touched his right hand, finding it was cold, so I put my hand around his, trying to make it warmer. Now I was crying in full force, tears sliding down my cheeks to the white sheets.
It seemed like I had started crying in LA and hadn't stopped till this moment. Maybe I knew? Maybe it was some kind of premonition that none of my plans with Lisa had a chance of being completed. I felt that something terrible was going to happen. It was too good to be true.
Now Kai needed me, and I would be here for him. It was time to pull myself together. His left leg was in a cast that formed a huge bulk under the blanket. His right leg was partially covered, as the doctors had managed to adjust it. The room was bare, lifeless, and he would spend weeks here. I needed to bring something to make it cozier, to make it less lonely.
Kai started to stir, his right hand squeezed mine lightly, and eyes slowly opened and fixed on mine.
"You're here," he croaked.
"Of course I'm here." Here, and would be staying here. I pushed the thoughts of Lisa away. "How are you feeling? Do you remember what happened?"
The nurse said he had a massive dose of painkillers in his system, so he would feel disoriented at first.
"I …" he started and looked at his left hand, which was bruised and covered in scratches. His eyes moved to his legs. "I feel numb. I remember a red car rushing towards me, the screech of brakes, and then the impact. I woke up in an ambulance," he said slowly, trying to remember. Kai lifted his undamaged arm and wanted to touch his face.
"Careful," I warned.
He winced, touching his nose. "What did the doctors say?"
"You will need time to recover, but eventually you will be as good as new. Let me call the doctor and he will explain," I said standing.
"Wait, how are you here?"
"Apparently you said to call Alex in the ambulance. He contacted me, and I came here straight from the airport. Oleg, Victor and Igor came to see you also, but they are not allowed in."
"You should have been here tomorrow." His eyes clouded. "How long was I out?"
"Alex called me when I was still in LA, five hours before my flight. So, roughly twenty-four hours."
"I don't remember anything, just that I was headed to the craft store to buy you those balloons, the golden ones you liked at somebody's birthday party, and then the red car, a clip from the ambulance, and then darkness." He looked around the blank walls, and his gaze wandered to my face. "Jennie, I missed you so much."
Tears pooled in my eyes again. I pressed his hand to my lips.
"I will be with you, don't worry. We will get you up and running again," I promised. He was looking at me; the realization of the level of injury hadn't hit him yet. "And I missed you." This was only partially a lie. I missed him as a friend, and I dreaded the minute when I would need to talk to him. Right now, it was not a problem. The big conversation had moved to the future indefinitely.
I stood up and reached the door. "I will be back in a minute."
I found the nurse in the corridor standing with the doctor, a middle-aged man with grey hair. His tired eyes fixed on me when I reached them.
"He's awake," I told them.
"Good," said the doctor before going into Kai's room.
They asked him questions, but being on painkillers, he couldn't assess where and how it hurt yet. They explained the recovery process, with Kai's eyes getting darker when he realized the volume of the damage.
"When will I be able to run again?"
Kai had become an avid morning runner during the last year, and he was preparing for his first full marathon this spring.
"Probably not earlier than a year."
And now it sunk in. His eyes widened in horror and darted between mine, the doctor's, and the nurse's face.
"You will need to stay here in bed, immobilized for three weeks, and then we'll see. How your bones grow back together will determine when you will start physical therapy. Basically, you will need to learn to walk again," the doctor continued, and Kai's face fell. "But the good news is that your spine and all the nerves are well. You are lucky that only the bones took the hit."
They continued talking, but the nurse steered me away.
"Visiting hours end in fifteen minutes. Please come back tomorrow." She gave me a list of essentials to bring to Kai.
"Will he be okay today?"
"He needs to rest. We will give him more painkillers, and he'll just sleep."
They left us, the nurse pointing to her wristwatch and mouthing, "Fifteen minutes." Kai was staring at me.
"So, I feel nothing now, but the pain will be pretty intense after the medicine wears off, and three weeks of lying in bed. Shit." He tried to rub his eyes, but his face was sore, and he jerked the hand back.
I perched on the side of his bed.
"You'll make it," I said. Kai's eyes were lost and scared. "Kai, look at me."
His eyes were fixed on the window. He slowly moved his head and stared at me. This was the moment I realized I needed to stop wallowing in my own self-pity and help the man I still loved in a different way. He was lost lying on the bed, his body severely broken. I grabbed his good hand.
"Listen to me, you are going to be fine. I am so sorry this happened." I pressed his hand to my cheek. "But we will get you out of here. Thank God your spine and nerves are tough, so we will need to focus on your legs. I am here, and I will be here with you as long as they allow me to be. You are strong." I studied his face, trying to convey a message. "It's just temporary. And look at the bright side, your job was killing you lately, and now you have time to rest. You said you were working so much you didn't have a minute to look up, and now you will have the time. I know it's lame, sorry, but you always taught me to see the bright side, and I never saw it. So, it's my turn to help you see it."
His gaze was still a bit cloudy, as the medicine was working hard to dull the pain, but he was listening to me, a small smile tugging his lips.
"I guess you are right, nothing major, just broken bones. We will get over it." He tried to laugh. I hoped he believed what he was saying. "I need to call my boss," he said, the words slurring on the edges, work was always on his mind.
"Oleg already called him," I explained. Oleg was working with Kai on the same project. "One good thing about your dreadful job is that they have immaculate medical insurance. Your boss said to take your time."
I guess he didn't know how much time it would take.
"I think I could work remotely when I am a bit stronger."
"We will see later. Now you need to rest. The nurse told me that I need to leave at 7 p.m., the end of visiting hours. I'll be back tomorrow morning. And your parents are on the way."
Kai's face fell, and it cracked my heart a little.
"Oh, they were on vacation," he struggled to remember.
"Don't worry, you'll just sleep through the night, and we'll be here first thing in the morning. One more positive thing," I said with a wink, "you'll finally have a good night's rest. With all the drugs they are going to give you, you'll sleep like a baby."
His eyelids were heavy. I thought he was trying to stay awake, but all the news had sucked the energy from him. I kissed his cheek.
"I love you, Jennie," he murmured.
"Love you too," I replied. He needed to hear those words from me. "Sleep well and get stronger."
Kai smiled and closed his eyes. I picked up my jacket and left the room, gently closing the door. The corridor was empty. I pressed my back to the door, and my strength left me. I tried to stay positive with Kai, but I was exhausted. Between the long, nervous flight and the news of Kai's accident, I was drained. I took a shaky breath and dragged my feet to the waiting area.
Oleg, Igor, and Victor were huddled in the corner, and they stood when they saw me.
"How is he?" Victor asked, their faces hopeful.
"He doesn't feel anything because of painkillers. His leg and hip are in a huge cast with metal nails going deep into his skin. The doctor said that it's his legs that took the hit. His spine and head are well, thank God. He has bruises on his face, but they are not serious and will heal fast according to the nurse."
I told them everything the doctor had told me, and we all moved to the exit. It was dark outside, the wind crawling inside my jacket. I desperately wanted to get home. My Uber finally arrived, and I said goodbyes to guys and climbed in. The warmth inside the car made me realize how cold I was, since I was still in my LA jacket that was too thin for the early Kyiv spring.
I had seen messages from Lisa when I called for my Uber, but I didn't want to open them in front of Kai's friends. Now I opened my Messenger app, and there were two unread messages from Lisa.
"I guess you are on the way to the hospital. Stay strong."
"How's Kai? How are you? Miss you."
I had landed five hours previously, but it seemed like a lifetime ago.
I typed: "I will call you in twenty minutes. I am OK."
"OK," she replied almost instantly. I opened the Photo app and started scrolling through our photos, the tears choking me again. I missed her so much already, and it had only been twenty-four hours since we parted in the airport.
Finally, the taxi reached my street. I asked the driver to stop in the middle of the road and climbed out. Only a day ago, the red car was speeding here, hitting Kai and nearly killing him. Now the street was silent, with only the light of my Uber blinking, the vehicle hiding the adjoining street. The warm light spilled outside from the apartments, showing glimpses of life inside. A woman by the stove, football match on the huge TV, a teenager by the window with the tablet, and a woman smoking on the balcony. I tugged my jacket closer and sped to the building entrance.
Once inside the apartment, I found my bag standing in the corner. I'd need to call Alex and say thank you later.
I then shuffled to the bathroom. What I saw in the mirror shouldn't have surprised me; I had a haunted look, red eyes, blotches on my skin from constant crying, and dark circles under my eyes. I washed my face with cold water, hoping it would help to subdue the redness.
My stomach growled, and I remembered that the last time I had a proper meal was on the flight from LA to Frankfurt. Well, the resemblance to a proper meal, as far as airplane food could be normal.
I opened the fridge and saw numerous boxes inside. Kai had ordered food from the restaurant for his dinner, as he probably hadn't been in the mood for cooking while I was away, so he ordered take out from our favorite Italian pizzeria. I noticed a bag on the table that had the restaurant's logo on it. The bag contained the focaccia. I took a bite and sat on the kitchen windowsill.
My hands shook, and I unlocked the phone. Lisa's happy face was smiling at me, the photo I looked at in the taxi. I took a deep breath and called her. She picked up after the first ring.
"Jennie," she breathed. "How are you?"
"Hi." Her voice made my heart flutter. "I am fine, just bone-tired. I was at the hospital, he looked …" I paused, "Lisa, his body is broken, his legs … there are more metal parts than his skin."
"Oh," she sighed. Lisa knew what it meant for us.
"He needs me; I am his only thread to his previous life. I can't leave him now." I clutched my neck, as my throat was closing, making it difficult to speak.
"I know," Lisa said. "I knew it all was too good to be true," she laughed bitterly.
"Damn, I hate it. I hate that Kai is hurt, I hate that I am here and you are thousands of miles away. All I want to do is to crawl back into your arms back to your house, in your bed, buried in your white sheets and for none of this to have happened. And I hate that I don't know how long I will have to stay here."
Finally, my tears subsided, and now I was just empty. Kai didn't deserve it; he shouldn't be in the hospital.
"Jennie, you stay there as long as you need, as long as you think Kai needs you. I will wait for you. I was waiting my whole life for you. I can wait a few more months, and now it's easier. I know where you are."
"I love you," I whispered. This was the second time I had said it today, but this time I meant it with every pore of my body.
"I love you too. Do you want me to come to Kyiv? I can rent an apartment and work remotely."
"That is tempting," I admitted. "But I think I won't have a free minute during the next couple of weeks. I will have to get back to work, so running between the office and the hospital will keep me occupied. But I will call you every day, okay? Besides, I need time to figure all of this out."
"Sure, that makes sense." Lisa sounded calmer now. "The house is empty without you."
I imagined the white walls of her bedroom, the view of the hills from the patio, Lisa's back while she brewed coffee in the kitchen, and her slender shoulders. I missed it all.
"I just hope we will see each other soon," I said.
"Get some rest Jennie," Lisa said. She heard that I was tired, and I was; the day had stretched to forever. We said goodbye and hung up.
I dropped my head in my hands. I knew that all these calls, the messages, it would be crazy difficult. How did people stay in long distance relationships? The lack of touch and presence would drive me to board the plane and leave Kyiv and Kai to run back to Lisa. But who was I kidding? I would never forgive myself. My phone started vibrating—Mom. I picked it up.
"I heard the news from Alex and was waiting for your call. It never came, and, well, how are you?" Mom was talking fast and worried.
"I just got off the phone with Lisa, sorry. I was about to give you a call. I am fine but tired."
I told her about Kai, how he was so lost in that blank hospital room.
"I am so sorry it happened. Let me know if you need any help. How was your trip? How was LA?" She paused.
"You want to know about Lisa," I laughed. "It was great. Do you want to come see me tomorrow evening? I'll tell you everything then, but now I am so drained and hungry I think I am going to pass out. I'll be in the hospital tomorrow. The visiting hours end at 7 p.m., so let's meet at 8 here?"
"Great, I missed you so much," she said.
"I missed you too, Mom."
"Okay, get some rest."
After we hung up, I shuffled to the fridge and heated the food in the microwave. It tasted like ash in my dry mouth. My body just needed to consume fuel. I devoured it in five minutes. The hot water in shower numbed my feelings and relaxed my body. I put on a t-shirt and shorts, set the alarm, and didn't notice when my head hit the pillow—I was already asleep.
The alarm dragged me from the depth of my sleep. I didn't remember what I had dreamt about, as the time difference and jet lag was getting to me. I hit snooze and fell back on the pillow.
--
I snapped a selfie and sent it to Lisa. I was not a selfie person, but I hoped she would send me one. And minutes later it came.
"Good morning, sleepyhead," the caption said with a selfie of Lisa with a book on the couch in the living room. She was gorgeous, and an image flashed in my mind: her naked body on that same couch, breathing hard, eyes closed. I glanced at her selfie again, her open smile, her eyes looking directly into mine through the photo.
My hand slipped into my shorts. I closed my eyes and imagined Lisa, the curve of her hips, the tender skin of her breasts under my fingertips, quiet moans escaping her lips. I touched myself, my hand moving faster. My fingers were drawing familiar circles, pressure building inside. I came with a silent shudder.
Then I laid there, in Kai's and my bed, breathing hard and thinking about Lisa. I sent her a message: "I don't know what just happened, but I finished myself off looking at your photo. Thought you'd like to know. It doesn't compare with the moments that I was with you, but since I am stuck here it will have to work."
Her reply pinged almost instantly: "Oh my God, tell me more. Show me."
I smiled. So, this was what long-distance dating was like. I put my hand back in my shorts and snapped a picture.
Moments later, a video showed in my messages feed. It was her pale skin and a black demi-cup bra. She moved it down with her finger revealing her breasts, her dark nipples slowly coming into view.
I groaned. "I want to touch you so badly," I typed.
"I will take care of it myself while you are away …" she replied.
My alarm blared again. The shrill sound brought me back to reality, the one in cold Kyiv, with a broken Kai and so far away from Lisa. I took a shower, ate a bite of the stale food from yesterday, and got an Uber to go to the hospital. The grey city was looking back at me from the car window.
When I got to Kai's room, Victor was standing outside of it.
"Hey." He hugged me. "They are changing his bandages now."
"Have you been inside?" I asked.
"Not yet, but the nurse said he had a good night's sleep."
I liked Victor. He was thirty-four, no girlfriend, and was as free as the wind. The man liked to travel alone to godforsaken countries. The stories he brought from his travels always left us open mouthed. He and Kai had studied at the university together but took completely different paths. Victor freelanced and worked on projects when he needed money for his travels. Mostly he worked for half a year and traveled for the other half.
The nurse emerged from Kai's room.
"How is he?" I asked.
"It's too early to tell, but for now everything is going as it should. We will give him a smaller dosage of painkillers today so he will start feeling his leg. We'll see how he takes it. You can go in now."
Victor and I opened the door and stepped inside. Kai was pale, but when he spotted us, a warm smile tugged his lips.
"Hi," he croaked, his face lighting up.
We sat on the two sides of his bed, and I kissed his cheek. "I thought you had left already," he said to Victor.
"In three days," Victor replied.
"Where to, this time?" I asked, raising a curious brow.
"Bolivia," he replied and while he was talking about his plans, my phone pinged. It was Kai's mom. His parents had landed an hour before and were on the way to the hospital. She asked me the room number where Kai was staying. I replied, and she typed: "Will be there in 15."
"Your parents will be here in fifteen minutes," I said, looking at Kai.
I wasn't close with his parents, and since they lived seven hours drive away from Kyiv, I primarily saw them on big holidays. They were always nice and loved when we visited. But I felt the pressure from both of them regarding kids, as every time they saw me, they always asked about grandkids. Because of that, I often found excuses to skip the trip, and Kai went to visit them there alone. Preferring the quiet life of a small city, his parents didn't like to visit bustling Kyiv.
"I will give you two a private moment before they arrive." Victor smiled and left the room, always thoughtful.
"How are you feeling?" I asked Kai.
"I slept through the night, as you said." He was looking at me with so much tenderness in his eyes. "I don't feel any pain, yet." He touched the cast on his leg. "The doctor said my job for the near future is to lie here and heal."
"That does not sound bad." I grinned back. "I brought you your things, your charger, laptop, your book, and some clothes."
Kai took my hand in his good one. "I am so happy you're back."
I just smiled.
The door opened, and his parents walked in. His mom was a small woman in her fifties, his dad thin and tall; they were a peculiar couple. But as Kai said, they had a complete understanding of each other, and being high school sweethearts, they never looked in any other direction but towards each other. For Kai, they were the example of a good family.
Kai's mom, Elena, gasped when she saw his bruises and sinister looking metal nails. She rushed to his side, tears sliding down her cheeks.
"Oh my God, Kai," she sobbed. "How are you feeling, honey?"
She touched his face and his hair. Kai's father was pale, but he smiled at his son.
"You scared us."
I moved back to the door, giving them some privacy. Kai looked in my direction, and I pointed to the door and mouthed, "I will be outside." He nodded. I slipped outside and took a deep breath. Victor was standing by the window.
"Life is so strange sometimes. One day you are living normally, and the next you can't even get up. He is lucky it's only temporary. Yes, it's a long way to go, but I can't imagine how people who cannot walk after a gruesome accident feel. It's like you don't have your freedom anymore." He was looking at the streets outside. "I know about wheelchairs, but …"
Victor was a free spirit who roamed the world, and it shook him to his core to see Kai this way. Kai, who was always athletic and strong, now lying chained to a bed.
"Sometimes I forget how fragile we are," he admitted.
What could I say? "We are," I agreed, and we stood silently watching the sleepy Sunday city outside the window.
Elena opened the door and walked to me.
"I am so happy to see you," she said, pulling me in for a tight hug.
Victor watched us and greeted Elena.
"I'll go say bye to Kai," he said, disappearing into Kai's room.
"Do you know where I can find a doctor or a nurse to talk to?" she asked.
I pointed to the end of the corridor to the nurse's station, and Elena squeezed my hand and went there. As I stood alone, I thought about how we had no control over our lives, one accident—and the life of a person shutters to pieces.
I stepped through the threshold. Kai was talking quietly to his father. His dad smiled at me and enveloped me in a hug.
"Hello, Jennie." He released me and glanced back at Kai.
"Hello." I liked the constant calmness of Kai's dad, but he was a bit awkward around people, avoiding eye contact.
"Have you seen Elena?" He asked, looking down.
"She went to find a nurse or a doctor to speak to."
"Oh, I need to hear it too. Be right back." He nodded at Kai and shuffled outside, his back bent.
The bruises on Kai's face had deepened as bruises always did before starting to fade. He looked tired. All the visitors were a pleasant distraction, but they took too much of his energy.
"They assigned me a guy who will help me take showers and move for the next few weeks. All from the bed, of course."
"Have you seen him already?"
"Yes, he came this morning. I liked him. His name is Ivan, and he is in his late twenties. During this time, I think I'll grow close to him, sharing the most spectacular views of the intimate parts of my body." He winked. "You'll see him, he is a pile of muscles."
Kai winced.
"Do you feel it?" I asked.
"When I don't move, I feel a dull pain. When I move even slightly, it's sharp. Have you seen the length of these nails?" He pointed to his hip.
"They look gruesome," I laughed.
"Exactly. I am an ironman now." He smiled. "Literally, iron is stuck inside of me."
The way he was acting surprised me. He grinned and even joked about his condition. If I were him, I would have been staring silently at the opposite wall. But not Kai; he was strong. And he would fight. I perched on his bed, and Kai touched my neck, tracing my cheek. He looked me in the eye and smiled slightly.
I pressed his hand to my cheek and whispered, "Get better."
"Are you going to work tomorrow?" he asked.
"Yes, but I'll come here in the morning before going to the office. Do you need anything? Anything from home?"
"I see you brought a lot already, thanks."
Talking made him tired; he was blinking slowly and finding it difficult to focus on me.
"You need to rest. Do you want me to come back in the evening?" I asked.
He managed a stiff, sleepy nod. "Yes."
"I will go visit Alex and come back."
I bent over to kiss Kai's cheek, but he tilted his head and our lips met. His lips were dry, but the kiss lingered, the touch so familiar. When I moved away, a playful smile was on his lips.
"Get some rest, Kai," I laughed.
He winked.
When I stepped outside the room, I saw his parents at the end of the corridor talking to a doctor. I walked over to them and listened to the same information he had given me yesterday. When he finished, I said that I'd be back later today and hugged them goodbye.
It was so strange how my old reality mixed with my new one but giving a hug to Kai's parents made me feel that all the things that had happened in California were in my imagination.