Beta: NoVaHolt

Chapter #: DXD part 2

Naruto walked into class, only to be met with the stern look from the new teacher, Rossweisse.

"You are late, Mr. Uzumaki." She said.

"Had a meeting with my Doctor." Naruto said, handing over a doctor's note.

It wasn't forged…Tsunade had grabbed him on the way to school and dragged him over to a bar to vent about how utterly boring the town was now that he was not pulling any large scale pranks. He was glad that she was still lucid enough after their 'meeting' to write him that note.

Rossweisse read the note quickly, then nodded. "All's in order. Sit down and let's continue."

Naruto merely nodded before heading over to his seat next to Sakura and Sasuke.

"…continuing where we left off with the Vinland Saga…" Rossweisse continued with the class, missing that Naruto had already used the 'Open Eye Sleeping' Jutsu, and was taking notes on autopilot.

Later, during break

"That virgin teacher needs to take a serious chill pill." Naruto sighed.

"What do you mean?" Sasuke asked whilst Sakura bit back a snort.

"Don't get me wrong, she is a good teacher who does her best to make everyone pass, is mostly unbiased except for that Issei fella and his odd bunch of a fanclub…" Naruto began, "…but seriously, today was the first time I was late, and although I had a valid doctor's note, she acted as though this is a regular occurrence."

"Still not realizing where the 'virgin' teacher comes from." Sasuke said.

"Oh, right. You weren't assigned to cleaning duty that evening." Sakura answered for Naruto. "Last week, after completing the cleaning in the classroom, Naruto and I were walking to the Student Council room to report that we were done when we heard Rossweisse Sensei wail like a heartbroken schoolgirl that she would never find a boyfriend or lose her virginity…or something like that." She snorted. "We both agree that we also heard something about being a virgin the same number of years she was alive…or something like that."

"Yeah. Sakura and I both also agree that her standards are just way too high. That, or the fact that her personality drives away potential suiters. She's far too serious about this entire 'relationship' thing." Naruto commented. "I mean, I wasn't that different, but then again, I had Hinata looking out for me. I am sure that Virgin-sensei also has someone looking out for her, she just can't find or see him yet."

Behind them, said white haired teacher didn't know if Naruto and Sakura were dissing her or complementing her.

"Why do you three have to be so mean to Rossweisse-sensei?" the trio turned to see Irina and Xenovia approach them, Koneko close behind them, giving Naruto a small smile.

Naruto sighed. "Great, here comes the Horny Amazon and the 'Angel with a thing for massive pervs'. At least Koneko-nee is with you."

"Seriously?" Irina and Sakura asked with raised eyebrows, though the former had some pink dusting her cheeks and the latter gave a smirk.

"Yeah. You heard the rumours about them." Naruto began. "Miss. 'Angel' here may act the part of a pure angel, devout to her religion and a darling friend to everyone, but she spends almost every free time she has together with quite possibly the biggest devil of a pervert not just in the school, but probably in the city. And you have seen the interactions between them, right? I'd say she's trying to seduce the poor devil." He then muttered, "Usually, it's the devil seducing the maiden, for log's sake…" He then quickly looked around. "Speaking of the devil, I don't see him around. What happened? You are usually glued to him."

"Wh…what makes you say that?" Irina shouted, completely red in the face.

"That doesn't sound like a denial to me." Naruto bluntly said, sending Irina into a stuttering mess because she couldn't lie and say he wasn't telling the truth.

"And Xenovia-san's nickname?" Sakura asked.

This time, it was Sasuke who answered.

"She's a musclehead who has clearly stated that she'll only have sex with males whom she acknowledges as being strong." He said bluntly. "Pretty sure that was one of the first statements she made in the class where she introduced herself. Right after greeting Issei and asking him something that definitely wasn't R18."

"Is it wrong to ask such things?" Xenovia asked, not a speck of red in her face, whilst beside her, Irina was steaming at her friend's lack of moral…everything.

"Pervert!" Koneko said with disgust, pointing at Xenovia.

"You know that Naruto is also a pervert, right?" Sakura asked.

Koneko nodded. "But he has Hinata-nee to focus his pervertedness on. And she seems to enjoy it." Koneko answered, making Sakura faceplant whilst Sasuke nodded sagely.

"She's not wrong. Hinata can be a bigger perv than Naruto at times." He admitted. He still desperately wanted to forget what he saw when he accidentally walked in on Hinata and Naruto a few months ago…and he had thought that Sakura was brazen with her advances…whatever Hinata was roleplaying as…he'd be better of just trying to forget it.

"Anyway…Sakura, better tell Baa-chan to blacklist Xenovia from buying anything at any of the local pharmacies without a valid prescription." Naruto continued. "Especially stuff like aphrodisiacs, fertility pills, that sort of shit as well as ropes, chains, padlocks,…anything really that she could use to have her way with someone."

"Why should I be barred from buying those?" Xenovia asked.

"And why would a drugstore sell the last few?" Irina asked.

"""Trust me, you don't want to know.""" Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke responded together.

Granted, it was mostly Anko who was into that stuff, but she wasn't a school student anymore.

"To answer your question, Xenovia-san…" Naruto said. "You strike me as the type of person who would go to great lengths to achieve your own goal, such as attacking anyone, say a innocent little girl who did nothing wrong but circumstances made her life miserable, with just about anything, say a sword that caused explosions, should such a thing even exist it would be epic but sadly it doesn't, for either having a different opinion or having made a choice you strongly disagree with." Naruto said, making Xenovia wince, remembering her initial interaction with Asia. "Another thing I am sure might happen should you have access to the listed stuff is, once you have found your so-called 'future husband', you would probably drag him into a secluded room and try to make him get you pregnant, regardless whether or not you are dating or if he already is in a relationship or he even consents or if the two of you are still in school or not." Xenovia winced again. "That is called Rape, by the way." Another wince, though this time by all the non-humans in the vicinity.

"Surely you don't have such a negative outlook on everyone here, do you?" Irina asked, having gotten herself mostly together. "What about Asia-chan?"

"Asia is a little devil in an Angel outfit. If she wanted to, she'd have most of the school wrapped around her little finger just by giving the 'innocent' little sister act…pretty sure that it is an act as she is about as attached to Issei as you are." Naruto waived off, before turning to Sasuke and Sakura. "By the way, Hinata is coming to Kuoh for the 'Exchange Program' this school has started with Tokyo High."

Koneko, Sakura and Sasuke brightened up immediately, though the latter was difficult to see because all he did was raise both eyebrows.

"Hinata-nee is coming to Kuoh?" Koneko asked.

"You know her?" Sakura asked surprised.

"She asked me to hold a video call with her and Koneko about a month ago, back when the school was closed following some random blockhead's explosion that destroyed half of the one wing." Naruto explained. "The two took an immediate liking to each other. Turns out, Koneko and Hanabi are writing buddies."

Sasuke blinked and Sakura groaned. "Of course, they are…"

"Hey, 'Loonie Fireworks 1010' is fun to speak with." Koneko defended her friend. "She gave me several recipes for sweets that have my seal of approval."

"Oh, those wasabi-filled cookies that you gave to your fanclub in the lower grades, right?" Naruto smirked, giving the white-haired girl a high five. "She asked me for that recipe when she wanted to prank Konohamaru. The original asked for 'The Bomb' hot sauce instead of Wasabi though."

"I should make one of those for Issei." Koneko said. "Maybe it'll help keep him in line and breath fire like the dragon he says he is…"

"I have a couple of Reapers at home. How many do you want?" Naruto asked.

"All of them." Koneko responded.

"Do you have a problem with Issei-kun?" Irina, Xenovia and Rossweisse asked.

"Oh, you were still here…I thought you left to chase that idiot's tail or something…" Naruto started. "I mean, what is there to like about him? Everything he does is driven by his unrealistic drive to see some skin uncovered. I mean, seriously, a girl could walk around without any skirts and panties, he'd complain that the chest was still covered without getting a boner…I think he might actually lose a boner. Besides, given what everyone knows about him, he seems care more about the size of a girl's chest than the size of her heart." Naruto shook his head. "I swear that moron would date death itself if it had a set of tits…"

"How dare you…" Irina growled very un-angel like.

"Has he ever asked you out? Or bought you flowers? Maybe even given you a present for your birthday in the last 10 years?" Naruto asked her, making her stop in her tracks, Rossweisse flinch and Xenovia tilted her head.

"Why would he need to do those things?" she asked.

"Yeah…Amazon." Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura commented, whilst Koneko just shook her head but smiled.

Being around Naruto was fun for her…never a dull moment.