The room shimmered and changed back into an ordinary indoor obstacle course, leaving a soaked and bleeding Jack lying on the floor.
Jim quickly conjured a cot and levitated Jack onto it, casting cleaning and drying charms before healing his wounds, glad they were all minor as he had little knowledge of healing magic beyond the basics.
"How'd I do?" Jack panted out, near exhausted.
"I don't think you're an amnesiac CIA assassin, but that's because you blew past what I think they could do," Jim said, pulling a vial of glowing red liquid out of his pocket. "Here, drink this."
"What is it?" Jack asked before downing it, the door to the room slamming open as two anxious teenage girls ran through it.
"Pepper up potion," Jim replied as Jack suddenly sat up and steam shot from his ears, "it'll restore the energy you lost."
"Whoa! I feel good," Jack said, getting up with a smile on his face just as the girls reached him and started checking him for injuries.
"You're okay," Lydia said with a relieved sigh as Randy made a second pass to make sure there were no wounds.
"I told you he would be," Jim said, hiding his own relief that the girls seemed satisfied with Jack's condition. "You'll need to eat a bit more at dinner and sleep for ten hours but you'll be fine."
"Did you know you had two changer forms?" Randy asked eagerly as Lydia forced her to stop trying to check over Jack for a third time.
"Nope, but I know about them now," Jack said. "That was an awesome test, I didn't even remember it was a test while I was going through it. It was one hell of a rush!"
"You may not have been part of our clan, but you are definitely tribe," Lydia told him with a wide smile.
Jack frowned. "I've never noticed guava being an aphrodisiac for me."
"You're a teenage boy," Randy said with a shrug, "if you were dosed with an aphrodisiac could you really tell?"
Jack opened his mouth, paused, and then closed it. "That is both very sexist and true," he admitted.
"Dual changer forms... Do you have any idea how rare that is?!" Lydia asked excitedly.
"Amnesia," Randy reminded her.
"I thought the course would help with that, but it seems to be mainly geared towards hidden skills and not memories," Jim said with a frown.
"Meh, not really interested in recovering who I was, he was an underachieving slacker," Jack said, "I'm much happier now."
"I can't believe you forgot you were tribe," Randy said. "especially with dual forms."
"My parents seemed to be normal humans," Jack said with a frown, "drunk, but normal."
"You were probably adopted," Randy suggested, "so they may not have known."
"Yeah," Jack said with a broad smile, "I can see that."
"Can you shift at will now?" Lydia asked. "It usually takes a bit of training to learn."
Jack closed his eyes and tilted his head. "Maybe... I think I need a good reason or maybe just some more practice. I'll have a better idea after the next time I run through the course."
Jack realized they were all three staring at him in disbelief. "What? It was an awesome obstacle course and did everything Jim said it would."
"You were chased by lions, shot at by soldiers, and fought crocodiles," Lydia couldn't help but point out.
Jack nodded. "It pushed me to my limits and I could feel things clicking into place. I feel more... whole now."
"Sure you're not just an adrenaline junkie?" Randy asked cautiously.
Jack didn't even have to pause to think about his answer, "Nope, not sure at all, but I'll probably know after another couple of runs through the course."
"That's crazy talk right there," Randy said firmly.
"The course did exactly what Jim said it would, push me to my limits without causing more than minor wounds," Jack told them, "it just so happens that I'm apparently awesome!" He grinned widely.
"Is that ego or adrenaline talking?" Lydia asked.
"Probably a bit of both," Jack readily admitted. "Give me a couple of weeks until I run the course again and we'll know."
"A couple of... That's actually pretty reasonable," Randy admitted.
"Probably not an adrenaline junkie then," Jim offered.
"I feel like I'm more me," Jack said, "and since I don't know who I am that is pretty amazing. I also feel a little... a lot hyper, but I'm pretty sure that is because of the pepper potion."
"Pepper up," Jim corrected. "Damn, now I kind of want to run the course... but not until I see someone a lot less capable do it to make sure it's setting the difficulty correctly and isn't set on James Bond crossed with Tarzan."
"I think that's your common sense, you should listen to it," Lydia told him.
Jim nodded. "I really don't listen to it enough."
"I'm in the mood for pizza," Jack said. "Sound good?"
"You did burn off a lot of calories," Lydia said, "And I could go for one myself."
"Four large meat lovers so we can stuff ourselves?" Jack suggested.
"Will they deliver here?" Lydia asked. "This place looks like the beginning of a horror movie from outside."
"I have spells for that," Jim offered.
"To make people ignore the fact that it looks like walking up to the door is just begging for something to jump out and eat you or spells that will trim all the bushes and make things look like living people willingly stay here?" Randy asked.
"Both," Jim told them. "We should probably look into getting a couple of goats though."
"You need to sacrifice goats?!" Lydia demanded.
"What? No," Jim said looking offended. "I know a load of charms I can cast on goats that make them the perfect gardeners. Plus, little goats are adorable."
"Your people developed charms specifically to cast on goats to make them the perfect gardeners?" Randy asked in disbelief.
"The Headmaster of my old school's brother who runs a disreputable bar did," Jim replied, "and he got me drunk enough to learn them. The spells work better when you're pissed for some reason."
The four exited the course and made their way to the lobby so they could go outside and see what needed to be done.
"I wouldn't mind some goats," Randy said.
"The adult males can be a bit aggressive," Lydia offered, "but I love little ones. Do they breed miniature goats?"
"Got spells for that too," Jim assured her as they stepped outside.
The four looked around silently for a moment.
"The grass needs trimming," Jack noted.
"And the bushes," Randy added.
"I'm not sure if that's because the hotel can't do it, or because it likes the idea of having some pet goats," Lydia guessed.
"Probably the latter," Jim admitted.
"The hotel can clean and repair itself now?" Jack asked as he saw the outside looked freshly painted and repaired.
"Looks that way," Jim said. "We'll still want to do some ourselves, because becoming lazy twats is a bad idea of course."
"That's fair," Jack said. "The idea of a living hotel that isn't trying to devour our souls is really growing on me."
"Ditto," the girls chorused.
"Let's wait out here for the pizza," Jack said, "that way the delivery guy knows it's the right place."
"Do they take gold? I don't have any American currency," Jim said.
"You've given us enough gold for the year," Lydia said, "we'll cover you. I'm going to run in and make the call now. Anyone want anything special?"
"Extra two liters," Randy said, "Coke and Dew."
"Got it," Lydia said and went inside.
The three sat on the steps to wait for their pizza.
"This has been one hell of a week," Jim said with a sigh.
"I got complete amnesia, discovered vampires exist, killed two of them, ran away from home, killed a vampire pimp to rescue Randy and Lydia, bought a hotel, and discovered I'm the supernatural version of James Bond," Jack told him smugly.
Jim grinned. "Having made a lot of enemies killing off a dark lord and saving magical Britain, they framed me for knocking up a dozen or so of my classmates and broke my wand before banishing me. In return I restored sentience to our magical school and collected not only a rare magical artifact that I accidentally used to empower this hotel, but every item that was lost or forgotten there over a handful of centuries."
The three just turned and stared at the young wizard who grinned even wider before continuing, "Then I went to the goblin run bank and cleaned out all my vaults containing the wealth and magical heirlooms of a family that stretches back well before the founding of Britain itself and finally a capped it off by breaking into The Department of Mysteries and stealing everything I could pry up before stepping through the Veil of Death which didn't kill me, but rather dropped me off here in a completely other world where my first action was to rescue a pair of damsels in distress and their boytoy before finding lodgings and local employment in less time than it takes to make a proper cup of tea."
The three looked at each other, burst out laughing and broke into applause, which made Jim laugh himself.
"Okay, you definitely win that one," Jack told him, "your week was crazier than mine."
"So... what's this world like?" Jim asked. "I've only seen a little of it but your technology is at least a decade ahead of where mine was, maybe two or three to be honest and in my world all the magicals hid from the muggles or normal people."
"Amnesia," Jack reminded him, "I just discovered the supernatural exists recently and that I was supernatural today."
"Pretty sure beings of power like The Powers That Be keep the supernatural under wraps," Randy offered. "People try and keep quiet about it anyway and anyone who tries to expose things usually ends up heavily medicated."
"Beings of power?" Jim asked curiously.
"Gods, Demon Lords, Lords of the Fey," Randy replied with a shrug. "You know, the usual."
"Gods exist?" Jim asked in disbelief.
"Big time," Randy assured him. "They don't manifest all that often anymore, but if you do the right rituals they will grant you some of their power."
"I just finished going to school for magic... or it was finished for me and now I've got to start over," Jim complained.
"You get to wave your hand and rewrite reality to suit your whims, why are you complaining?" Jack asked.
"I..." Jim sighed. "I guess I've been around assholes too much and it's rubbed off on me. The way you put it I shouldn't be complaining at all. Still... I was looking forward to relaxing and just studying whatever interested me."
"And you can't do that now?" Lydia asked, confused.
"I... Wow, I really have been hanging around the wrong people," Jim said, shaking his head. "My two best friends kind of put me off learning," he admitted. "One hated to study and the other sucked all the joy out of learning by making it a chore. Add that to getting in trouble if I brought home good grades growing up and... well." He shrugged.
"Wow, just wow," Randy said, shaking her head.
"I wouldn't mind learning magic," Jack said. "It looks handy."
"You have to be born with it," Jim said, "it runs in families."
"No," Lydia said, shaking her head, "anyone can learn magic it's just some are better at it than others."
"Really?" Jim asked, surprised. "Guess that's another difference between our two worlds. Once I get my library set up we'll have to see if I have a wand that matches you."
"Aren't wands rare and valuable magical foci?" Lydia asked. "My aunt uses a ring to enhance her magic and she said she had to work her ass off for it."
Randy laughed. "Um, Lydia... your aunt was dating a mage, I'm pretty sure that was a joke."
Lydia groaned. "That is Aunt Grace's type of joke, I can't believe I missed it."
"Well wands may be rare and valuable here, but they were really common back home and I have Merlin knows how many of them," Jim said. "There were tons of them lost over the years at school... which I now have, plus all the ones from my vaults, and the Department of Mysteries had tons as well. I probably have the largest collection of them on the planet, so I'm sure I can find one Jack can use... if he can use one. The type of magic us assholes use may require you to be related to us."
"No rush," Jack said, "I'm still looking over the paperwork needed to become a private detective and I'm sure there is classes I'll need to take."
"They have classes for that?" Jim asked, surprised.
Jack nodded. "Private eyes are licensed so they have licensing requirements, which means you have to meet them. There are probably classes on the legal side of things as well as ones on how to be a private detective. I seriously doubt you just hang out a shingle and bumble around until you figure out what you're doing. That would be complete chaos and cause no end of trouble, so someone in authority would have arranged things if some enterprising detectives didn't figure out they could make money by teaching others themselves before the city could step in."
"Put a lot of thought into it?" Randy guessed.
"Not really," Jack said with a shrug, "it's just common sense."
"Or it could be something you were trained in by some magical CIA group set in Africa," Randy offered. "You remember the training but not going through it!"
"I think it's more likely he saw it on TV," Lydia said.
"Still... those sound like fun classes," Jim said, "Possibly not the legal one, but the others."
"Interested in becoming a private eye?" Jack asked. "Jack and Jim's Private Detective Agency is a good name."
"Or Jim and Jack's..." Jim frowned. "No, Jack and Jim's sounds better."
"Daniels and Walker sounds more dignified," Lydia pointed out.
"It does," Jim agreed.
"Pizza's here," Randy announced as a nervous looking teen wearing a Domino's vest and hat approached cautiously, eyeing the building suspiciously.
"He's got good instincts," Jack said as the teen reached them.
"Instincts nothing, I've seen The Shining," the teen said, "and don't think you can lure me in saying you forgot your wallet inside either."
"I've got my wallet on me," Jack assured him.
"Oh, thank god!" he exclaimed and handed them their food, making the group laugh.
Typing By: Abyssal Angel
Beta By: Abyssal Angel and Mist of Shadows