Rule by Falkeno
Rule 14801: Under no circumstances is anyone to play the song 'The Bear Went Over the Mountain' around USS Intrepid. We do not need a repeat of what happened the last time this happened!
USS Seymour D. Owens had to suppress the urge to snigger as she slipped out of the back door of Norfolk's carrier dorms. In her mind her plan had been a stroke of genius, and the fact that nobody had thought to do it before her was a miracle, and all it had taken was some lockpicks, an old audio player, a cheap speaker, a few hours on google, some basic wiring, and some duct tape.
All she had to do now, as she slipped away into the bushes around the building all she had to do was sit back and wait for the fireworks, and as she got into a comfortable spot, she couldn't help but smile as if on cue, her intended target walked inside.
=O=
Despite what she would say to anyone if they asked, USS Intrepid was in a rush as she flung her jacket onto her bed. Normally she would spend the hours after a long sortie relaxing by curling up somewhere with either a good book, or an entire TV show season that she could binge with, unless it was something British in which case she'd need to series' because they rarely made anything with more than ten episodes max. But today was different, because when she'd gotten back to Norfolk, Intrepid had found that Belfast was paying a visit to the base before she flew back to the UK as her leave was about to end.
Intrepid had wanted to spend more time with Bel after stumbling across her at White Mountain, but then the Abyssals had made a run at some of the smaller Caribbean islands and she'd been sent on a stream of runs to counter this move. Thankfully that threat had largely been dealt with when the standards had cornered the abyssal princess that had been leading the enemy force outside of Port-au-Prince and had taken the opportunity to stage a reenactment of the Battle of Surigao Strait. Not that it had stopped command sending Intrepid out to help mop up the stragglers that had been trying to slip away, hence why she had spent the last three-days hunting down a fleeing WO-class carrier that someone had put a bomb into but not bothered to finish off, because why confirm a kill when you can try and pad your figures.
All of this of course meant that she'd only get to spend a few blissful hours being around Bel before the redheaded cruiser would be on her way back to the cold waters of the North Sea and literally an ocean away from Intrepid. It felt cruel that she only had such a short window of time but she intended to make the most of it and was pulling out all the stops, hence why she was hurrying to change out of her combat clothes into something that didn't reek of gunpowder, salt spray and abyssal ichor. Then again she probably didn't smell much better, but she couldn't waste time on a soak in the shower to freshen up, so she'd have to make do with wet wipes and deodorant until after Belfast had left. At least she had time to freshen up, courtesy of sending one of her more 'boysterious' friends to unknowingly stall Bel, at least until Intrepid had smartened herself up a little bit.
However, as Intrepid sat down on her bed to remove her shoes that she currently suspected smelt like rotten melted cheese, she thought she heard something on her bed click, but Intrepid didn't dwell on it too much, it was a cheap old bed afterall. Instead, she was more focused on working out what to get changed into, nothing fancy or flashy of course, she didn't want to give the impression that she was trying, but she didn't want to put anything that made her look like a slob.
The low cut top that Essex had given her for her birthday? No, that showed off her 'fuel reserves' a little more than Intrepid liked. That one green hoodie she had? That was in the wash after she'd had to help a drunken Franklin back from a bar, and had gotten vomited on for her troubles. Intrepid rubbed one of her now bare feet in thought, most of what she had was either comfy but scruffy, was part of her service uniform, or had been given to her by her sisters to 'try and make her more appealing'. That was the main reason why Intrepid had kept her feelings towards Bel to herself, as the last thing she needed was one of her many and often crazy sisters trying to 'help her' with her crush. Maybe that plain white knitted sweater, not too showy, and she looked good in it, maybe that could…
Then the song started, and suddenly Intrepid wasn't in her room thinking about clothes, she was on her navigation bridge on November 25th 1944, wreathed in fire that burnt like the sun, blanketed in smoke that choked anything in its grasp, and unable to stand two massive holes blown in her flight deck that each hurt like she had been stabbed by a thousand knives. But it wasn't that which held her frozen in place like victim of a Pompeii, it was the terror, not because she had been hit, but because her Captain had given up on her, he had ordered that song to be played, a song to tell her crew to abandon her to the flames, to leave her to a slow, agonising death to the inferno that was eating her from the inside out.
Intrepid could feel her heart trying to break through her ribcage, she gasped desperately for air as if someone was trying to suffocate her, her whole body was shaking like a nudist in the arctic, whilst Intrepid legs refused to respond as she crashed to the floor when she tried to stand. But all she could see was that day, the day she had nearly met her end for the first time, and all the fear and pain she'd had on that day was back, and it was real. Intrepid felt like a boa constrictor that was crushing the life out of her, all done to that song, a song that was meant to bring joy to children, but brought terror to her, and so she did what anyone did when confronted by their worst nightmare. Intrepid screamed.
=O=
Belfast wouldn't describe herself as a pushover in a fight, not that she was egotistical, just that she had a tendency to end up having to fight Abyssal battleships and so far had come out the winner with at worst having been soaked from the near misses. Yet even she had to admit that in there was no way she could come out of her current situation as anything but the loser, because for no matter how good she was in combat, she could do fuck all to stop a ship with three times her horsepower from embracing Belfast in a bear hug. Not that Bel could have put up any resistance anyway, partially because she was having the air in her lungs forced out of her, but mostly because Belfast's brain had crashed owing to embarrassment, as due to the way she was being hugged, Bel currently had her head stuck between her assailants' surprisingly modest fuel tanks.
"Erm, Big U, I think she can't breathe," New Jersey suggested.
"Oh right…" SS United States blurted before releasing Bel from her grasp and allowing the cruiser to take a much needed breath. "Sorry, it's just you're here and NJ said you were really friendly and well I like giving people hugs…" the ocean liner began babbling as Belfast tried to get her wits about herself. Of all the people that she had expected to greet her when she'd decided to make a quick detour to Norfolk before catching her flight back to Scapa, the energetic, over-excitable liner hadn't been a predicted outcome.
"Er Bel, are you listening?" New Jersey asked, interrupting United States, who's babbling Bel had realised that she couldn't remember anything of what the Ocean Liner had just said. Probably due to the lack of oxygen having had an effect on Bel's cognitive functions, although Bel was also wondering where the one person she had been sure would have already met her, and would have made sure that Bel felt a lot more comfortable upon her arrival. Not that New Jersey wasn't a bad person to talk to, but she hadn't had the foresight to warn her about the 53,000 ton ocean liner that liked to give people attack hugs.
"Yeah, sorry, I was just…" Bel was about to offer some excuse to the two about why she hadn't been listening to the conversation that had just happened, only to be interrupted by the sound of a blood curdling scream, one that would have won any actress an Oscar, reverberated across the entirety of Norfolk Navy Yards Shipgirl Base.
"Was that…" an apprehensive United States began to say, only to trail off as a concerned New Jersey took off at best speed in the direction of the noise, with the Ocean Liner falling in behind the fast battleship with an equally apprehensive Bel following closely on the pair's heels. Nobody had said the name, but even Bel had recognised the voice that had produced that ear splitting noise, and whilst none of them had caused that sound, they all knew that something was badly wrong. Especially when in a fleet that had shipgirls like Gambier Bay and PrincetonPrinceton, that it was Intrepid that was doing the screaming.
Despite being a cruiser, a type of ship that was designed to rapidly respond to situations anywhere on the planet, Belfast found herself feeling how the Revenge's felt as she struggled to keep up with the rapidly moving Battleship and ocean liner, and she was pretty sure the latter was holding back. Granted Bel could understand why United States was being cautious, as whilst the liner could outrun either of them with ease, if whatever was happening to the Intrepid had teeth, the only she'd be able to do would be to hurl bad language at it. However, with the growing number of ship girls that were cautiously following the trio as they passed, if there was a threat, it was about to be on the receiving end of enough firepower to destroy a small planet.
Soon enough though they were at the door to Trep's room, from which Bel couldn't miss what sounded like music was coming from inside, even with the door muffling it just enough so that she couldn't make out the lyrics, whilst for some reason the melody sounded oddly like the song 'For He's a Jolly Good Fellow', which didn't make any sense to the cruiser.
"Trep, are you in there?!" New Jersey shouted as she tried the handle before she pressed her ear to the door when she received no immediate reply. Only for the look of concern on the Battleship's face to turn to one of alarm, then without a second's hesitation she took one step back, followed by subjecting the obstruction to 212,000 shaft horsepower through the application of her right foot, sending it to the floor as she bounded inside followed by Bel and United States.
For the second time that day, whatever Bel had expected to find did not match reality, as instead of a science girls latest experiment that had gotten loose, or an random Abyssal attack, all Bel could found was a catatonic Intrepid curled up in a foetal in the centre of the floor, with tears running out of eyes held wide by silent terror.
"FUCKING HELL, ONE OF YOU FIND AND KILL THAT SONG!" New Jersey screamed as she crouched down over the carrier before she turned her attention to trying to calm Intrepid down. Not needing to be told twice, Bel ran over to the bed and after a quick rummage on the underside, she found the old music player and speaker from where they had been taped in place and finally ending the song, which a quick glance at the display, was revealed to be a ten hour long song called "The Bear Went Over the Mountain".
From the corridor Bel could hear a growing number of concerned voices, either drawn by the screaming, the sound of New Jersey kicking the door down, or the loud music, the latter of which Bel was rapidly coming to the realisation hadn't been an odd coincidence. Fortunately United States had also heard the growing crowd and had remained in the doorway, using her larger size to block the gap from any spectators.
"It's ok Trep, it's ok, you're safe now, it can't hurt you any more, and we're all here if you need us. Nobody's going to leave you alone, just like when I sat with Iowa all night after she had that flashback to turret two," New Jersey cooed as she rested a hand on the carrier, before she realised that Bel was staring awkwardly at the pair. "Back in 1944, Trep got hit by a pair of kamikaze's that left her burning out of control. I was near enough to see her take the 2nd hit and, well… we all thought she'd had it." the Battleship began as she stood up, with the anger that she had had slowly creeping back into her voice. "Course, we weren't the only ones, because whilst Trep and her crew were used to taking hits, on that day her captain at the time thought she was going to go up like Princeton, and so ordered that 'this' song, be played over her PA to tell her crew to abandon ship," she continued, snatching the offending bundle of electronics from Bel's hand to emphasis the point that the music hadn't been a contributing factor, but had been the cause of the entire incident.
"Lucky for her, Trep's PA had been knocked out when the second plane hit, so her crew stayed aboard and brought her back from the brink. But that song has always been a trigger for her." New Jersey continued, the anger once again masked by the memory of what she had seen that day. Not that Bel knew what it was like to see someone that she cared about suffer, since she'd been too busy being an uncaring wretch to see what she had put her sisters through.
But she did know how Intrepid felt, how fresh the memory of that mine strike all those years ago still was, even in the hazy, mashed up state that she remembered as she had slipped in and out of consciousness. The unceasing, unbearable agony of her broken keel, the sound of her hull being crushed like paper in a fist, the feeling of her solid metal bones being bent out of shape as if they were being ripped from her body. An event whose physical scars paled in comparison to the mental ones, and from the looks of things, Trep's were just as bad as her own, the only difference was that Trep had been strong enough to remain changed by hers, unlike Bel, who had succumbed to them, and ruined any chance of being a hero.
"So when I find whoever decided it would be funny to subject her to THIS," New Jersey snarled, nearly crushing the offending item in her hand. "I will make them wish they were never laid down! And if this is Taffy 3 I promise I WILL RIP THEIR FUCKING HEADS OFF!"
"Hey, what did we do?" a voice shouted from the crowd, prompting New Jersey to storm over, shove her free hand into the gathered mass and pull out a rather alarmed looking destroyer, a Fletcher if Bel had to guess, from the crowd by her collar held her up in front of her as United States, Bel, and the assembled crowd stared in silence.
"Johnston, if this was you, tell me right FUCKING NOW, and I might let you live! and don't try to lie because I know when you are," the battleship growled as Bel crouched down next to Intrepid to try and comfort her. Johnston, for her part, looked terrified by the presence of a category nine pissed off battleship that was nearly holding her by the throat. Quickly she glanced at Trep, then back at New Jersey.
"This wasn't us, we might prank Iowa over Willie D because she panics over nothing, but we don't hurt people, or are you forgetting that Gambier Bay is part of Taffy 3?" Johnston said, trying to sound calm, and only half succeeding.
New Jersey on the other hand just stared at the destroyer, and then slowly set Johnston back down.
"Thanks, now let me see that so we can figure out who's getting thrown to the mob," Johnston continued, taking the bundle of electronics from New Jersey, who for her part, was taking her turn as being the awkward one. "Basic wiring with sloppy connectors, old tech which is so uncommon it's surprisingly easy to track, only a single wired speaker so it can be taken out all at once, and triggered with a simple pressure switch. I'd say our perp is a first time amateur, who knows just enough to be dangerous, and isn't aware of what they just did. If I had to guess this was probably a never built destroyer, as they are childish enough to pull a prank, but not smart enough to realise that it's a bad idea."
"How the fuck did you figure that out?" New Jersey asked, astonished that the destroyer had managed to come up with such a solid idea of the perpetrator. Even Bel was surprised at what Johnston had just said, not that she gave voice to this, she was too busy stroking Trep's hair. Bel didn't know why she had immediately gone to this as a comfort strategy, but she had the vague memory of someone having done this to her just after she'd hit that mine, not that she could remember who, when, or where. Not that anyone who really knew her would give her the same courtesy today, in fact it would probably be the opposite.
"What… I'm a professional, we know these things." Johnston gave a shrug as she answered, which only prompted a sigh from New Jersey.
"Right, In that case, I want you and anyone else to get organised and turn this place over until you find whoever did this to Trep, I'll go tell Briggs what's happened so he doesn't end up at the funny farm again, then I'll join, understood?" New Jersey ordered, pausing to receive a few affirmatives as the assembled mass dispersed to start their impromptu seek and destroy mission, before she turned her attention back to United States and Belfast. "Big U stay here and take care of Trep till either we've dealt with this mess, or until she's feeling ok enough to be left alone. Bel, I know this isn't your idea of a visit, but if you could help out with the manhunt, it would be greatly appreciated by all of us."
Bel just gave a quick nod at this request, as whilst not thrilled at the prospect of having to deal with craziness when she had been sent of leave because of the amount of shenanigans that she'd had to sort out, she wasn't going to let whoever had hurt her friend go unpunished. However, as Bel tried to stand, she surprisingly found her progress arrested when Intrepid grabbed her by the wrist, with the carrier giving her a look that even Bel, with her stunted understanding of emotions, told her that Intrepid wanted Bel to stay with her.
"Ok… Big U, if you could help the searchers, Bel can stay here with Trep since she's more comfortable having her stay around," New Jersey corrected her orders, not that United States minded as she just gave a smile to Intrepid before she took off after the searchers. "If you need anything just holler and someone will come running, I'll be with Briggs."
"Is that true… what you said about Iowa?" Belfast asked, not sure why she'd said that. New Jersey just gave her a look that was both knowledgeable, and sad.
"Yeah… You'll be surprised how many of us have stuff like that hidden away. Personally can't bear sailing through typhoons, especially when I'm in charge since what happened with Cobra. New Jersey said, hinting at the guilt she carried for Halsey's mistake that had cost hundreds of men their lives.
For a brief moment, a tiny voice in Bel's head thought about telling New Jersey the truth, of stopping living the lie that had been her life for all these years. But she killed it without a second thought, whatever guilt New Jersey had for something that wasn't her fault paled in comparison to what Bel had actually done. All that telling the Battleship would do would probably put her on the receiving end of a couple of broadsides of 16-inch super heavy shells.
"I'll keep that in mind," Belfast said, prompting a smile from the battleship before she disappeared to go and spoil poor admiral Briggs' day. Now alone, Belfast turned her attention back to Intrepid, sitting down cross legged next to the carrier's head to be in a better position to comfort her. Only for Intrepid, somehow realising how Belfast had sat herself down, to lift her head and rest it on the cruiser's lap, like a dog who wanted its owner's attention.
Belfast wasn't sure why, but as she sat there, slowly stroking Intrepid's short straw blonde hair she felt a warm feeling in her chest, as if her organs had turned to caramel. It was a strange feeling, not one that she had even felt before, but for some reason Intrepid had caused her to feel it. She wasn't sure what it was, curse her stunted emotional understanding, but it felt… nice. Maybe it was the feeling that she was helping someone who had their own traumatic past, a matter she had wrongly assumed she had a monopoly on, or maybe it was just that she was helping someone she liked. And she liked Intrepid, not just because she was someone who didn't look at her with a secret hatred in their eyes, but because she always found a way to make a bad day seem better. But right now, and even under the current situation, Belfast just wanted to savour this feeling for as long as she could.
=O=
Not for the first time in his 'distinguished' career, Admiral Jeffrey Briggs, a man who had commanded an Arliegh Burke against the Abyssals before the shipgirls had shown up, who had so many ribbons on his service jacket that it looked like someone had patched a hole in it with some of Joseph's coat, was cowering under his desk. Shipgirls could do that to a man.
At times Briggs wondered if he should just run off into the woods and ask Bigfoot if he could sleep on his couch till this mess blew over. Not that was possible, as everyone knew Bigfoot had a strict 'no couch surfers' policy. The Loch Ness monster on the other hand…
Briggs was stopped in his thoughts of which 'fictional' creature might be willing to let him stay for a while, by the sound of his office window being wretched open, followed by the sound of someone clambering inside. An impressive feat, seeing as how the window had been deliberately set so he couldn't climb out of it in a bid for freedom, again.
Cautiously, Briggs poked his head out from his safe place, to find a terrified looking Gearing-class destroyer, his brain helpfully identifying her as Seymour D. Owens, frantically trying to close the now broken window frame.
"Can I help you?" Briggs asked, more curious as to why the destroyer had decided to break into his office, rather than deal with Wright, who was rapidly becoming the de facto leader of this particular lunatic asylum. For her part, Owens promptly jumped like a startled cat at Briggs' words, before she tried to compose herself. Not a good sign for the day improving right there.
"Oh Admiral I thought you were…" Owens babbled, clearly something was scaring the girl more than having an Admiral pop out from under his own desk warranted.
"Can you just, get to the point, I'm kind of busy," Briggs said without a hint of sarcasm as he kept the rest of his body beneath his desk.
"Well, I, er… I sort of need to hide here, at least till this mess cools down a bit," Owens replied.
"By this mess, I take it you are the one responsible for Intrepid having a panic attack, and New Jersey plus Taffy 3 leading an armed mob that are currently tearing the place apart to try and find you?" Briggs inquired bluntly, the look of alarm on the destroyer's face telling him he was right on the money. "Uhuh, well as that is the case, here's what we're going to do…" Briggs smiled as he said this, which put the destroyer at ease, just long enough for the Admiral to leap out of his hiding hole, grab Owens in a hold that he hadn't used since his high school wrestling days, and lift the Gearing clear off the ground.
"WRIGHT GET IN HERE! I HAVE WHO NEW JERSEY IS LOOKING FOR AND I NEED YOUR HELP!" Briggs bellowed as he fought against Owens panicked wriggling. "It's for your own good Owens, she'll be more lenient if you surrender willingly that makes her hunt you down!" Not that Owens listened to him, but Briggs didn't care if she did, because even for his rapidly thinning sanity he knew that if a pissed off Iowa was about as good for one's personal health as drinking lead, having a navy base full of shipgirls looking for someone to take their anger out on was akin to having polonium in your coffee, and even he wasn't mad enough to deal with that.
If this was what his job was becoming, then next time, he'd make sure he stayed at the happy farm. Afterall, he practically lived there at this point.