I decided to go back to the past. I knew if I succeeded, I could have given Hitogami a taste of his own medicine.

I knew how I could get him; but I was too old by then. 64 years old, to be exact. I didn't even realize I was that old. But I knew then no matter how long I searched for the final dragon relic, I'd be dead by old age before I ever reached the Void World where he resided in.

I started studying teleportation magic by myself for the next 4 years. I wished Nanahoshi was still around, it certainly would've been easier, and she would still be young, unlike me, so she'd put more effort into it. Corpses cannot speak or be worked with, however.

I finished it eventually, an insanely large magic circle that could be used to teleport to the past. My mana capacity is huge, comparable to that of the Demon God, but even I knew this circle was gonna drain all of it by the time I decided to put it to use.

It was a one-way trip; no going back after it. That's more than fine. There's nothing here to return to, not anymore. Everyone has up and died thanks to me.

..All except me.

Ah, right

I opened my gray robe slightly to double check; the diary is still there. That's good. It's the only thing I have here that could possibly convince myself from the past that I'm from the future, other than my own intellect.

I opened it to a random, unimportant page to check the writing. I grimaced slightly as I subconsciously read about how I assaulted yet another woman. I'm sure everyone I loved is rolling in their graves – Roxy and Sylphy might just kill me again when I meet them in the afterlife.. Unless this world has its own hell, of course.

It's all written in Japanese. If I end up getting teleported to a random location in the human world in the past, I'll need to find either myself or at least Nanahoshi quickly if I want Hitogami gone.

I closed it, keeping it in my hand, and looked to my right to see a door.

The door that led to the basement of this house; my old house in the Magical City of Sharia. Where everything started to change, where Hitogami ruined everything, where I started to ruin everything..

..I turned my attention back to the circle once more.

I examined it once more, twice more, thrice more.. There were no errors, no mistakes. I was certain of it. I had to make it absolutely perfect.

I placed the palm of my hand on the circle. It was old, wrinkly, it might as well have been just bone. Has it really been 50 years..?

I shook my head. Get rid of those thoughts. They effectively mean nothing now. Not anymore.

I let mana course through my frail body for what might be the final time.

As soon as my mana interacted with the magic circle, it started tearing into me. The circle desired every inch of my mana, and the only thing I needed to do was let it have it all.

Eventually, after another twenty seconds, the circle started to glow, and the last thing I saw was white.

…

The next time I opened my eyes, I wasn't kneeling, or on any hard surface whatsoever. I wasn't staring at a hard ceiling. It looked far more fragile, soft, like it belonged to a tent

I was lying down on a soft surface; a bed, probably, but certainly not any of the ones within my home. I turned to my side to face the wall of this place, my bed stationed right next to it.

I reached out and touched it, and watched the soft wall slightly bend backwards as my finger pushed against-

My finger- my hand.

It was smaller, not wrinkly or old, a hand that could only belong to a boy no older than thirteen, probably.

Ah..

I reached for a strand of my hair, slightly pulling it over to where I could see it. It was a light brown, instead of a darkened gray from old age.

This..

Immediately, I flipped to the other side of the bed, yelping as I tumbled out of it in the process. My body greeted the ground before me.

"Ow.. fuck.."

My voice was squeaky, immature, and young. My body stings, but it'll wear off. My head doesn't though, at least not that much.

I open my eyes once again, and am met with a jumbled mess of red hair.

Eris's hair.

I got on my knees instantly, grimacing as I forced my still-stung body to move, and looked on the pile of hair to find a note.

"Right now, we're not a good match for each other. "

Ah..

"I'm leaving on a journey."

-Eris

I've read this letter before.

"Aah.."

It's extremely vague, like it was made in a rush; it might've been, really, but Eris was never good with words either way.

If only I realized that sooner.

"Wha.."

My tears fell on the piece of paper in quick succession.

I thought she left me, that I apparently wasn't good enough for her.

I pushed her away when she finally returned. She expected to be jumping into my arms, she expected us to be together and she expected me to love her.

I pushed her away instead, for days, months, years, decades. I even thought she was an apostle of Hitogami at some point with how much she ran into me. But she never was, and she never stopped loving me, either. No matter how many times I pushed her away or made her cry with a verbal assault, she was there.

I didn't know if I ever stopped loving her; at the very least, when I saw her smile as she died in my arms, protecting me from Atoferatofe Ryback's wrath. I cried.

I cried for her as much as I cried when I saw half of Roxy's body turned to stone, as much as I cried when I saw Sylphy's corpse crucified with the rest of her friends after I pushed her away.

And right now, I'm crying as much as I did when she died for my sake.

…

I don't know how long I sat there crying, but by the time I was done it was the evening.

When did I become such a crybaby? How lame..

Well, that's beside the point.

My head's clearer now, I should think about my situation first.

The teleportation magic did work, that's for certain, in a way that it really shouldn't have.

I did something wrong, but maybe that's not so bad. If anything, this is the next best thing. I can afford to worry about it later.

I could just be dreaming, though..

I shook my head; no use thinking like that.

I didn't have the diary anymore, either.

I facepalmed, I did so much thinking for nothing.

I had so many things to tell my younger self in such little time..

Whatever, That's fine! This is the next best thing!

With that being said.. What the hell do I do now?

I looked over and saw my staff – Aqua Heartia.

I'm not sure exactly what I did with it in my past life – I might've broken it in anger or thrown it away – but now, I found myself hugging it close to me like I would have hugged a friend, like Zanoba or Cliff.

At the very least, it stuck by me through everything, until I eventually pushed it away too..

I shook my head; no use thinking about the past anymore.

I didn't leave here for a while, anyways, right? I can think about this more tomorrow..

With that, I fell asleep on my first day in the past life.

…

I woke up in a void.

Ah..

I turned around. Hitogami. He looked annoyed, but I could only feel anger rising up at seeing him again.

"You really fucked some things up."

Did I? I mocked. It felt a little good to see him in this mood.

"The fact that you even pulled.. this off is amazing, really."

..I guess it was, huh? I suppose it wouldn't be that bad to consider myself an impressive person..

"..Though, it seems you yourself aren't entirely aware of what you did."

Well.. He wasn't wrong. As far as I know, I just teleported to the past.

What did I do?

"You reversed time."

..Huh?

"Your soul teleported to the past. However, because you ended up breaking through time and space to do it, you probably ended up erasing the course of events that happened after now. Otherwise, it would've created a time paradox between now and 50 years into the future."

..I guess that makes sense. I'd probably know more about it though if I stayed in school.

Then how do you know about it?

"I didn't. It was more of a guess, really, but I found an absurdly high amount of mana concentration around you a few hours ago." He explained.

He guessed all of that with that much info..?

Well, he isn't Hitogami for nothing.

Is there anyone else who knows?

He shrugged, clearly not as annoyed anymore after seeing my mood. "I'm not sure. There's a decent chance that Orsted is at least aware that something happened, but other than that everyone else is carrying on."

We sat in silence for a moment.

.

.

.

"..So, that's what you look like in the future, huh?"

What?

I looked down. Instead of a blubbery mass that was on Earth, it was a toned body that just started withering due to age. There were wrinkles, but not enough to say that it's particularly old. Early 40s, I assume. Just late middle-aged.

I plucked a strand of hair from my head. It was still brown, but noticeably was losing its color near the root.

Hm..

I grimaced. To think I might've been able to leave everything that happened before behind..

You didn't know before?

"My eyes can only see the soul directly, but even then I knew your soul and body were 2 completely different things."

A first. So even he has some limits.

"Though, you're here now, and judging by your mood, it means I must've won, right?"

The anger I didn't even know I lost was quickly returning. I could feel the stupid grin on his face forming at my lack of response.

I glared at him with a level of animosity I've grown used to over the years. He winced slightly before he straightened himself up again once more.

"Hah, I must've fucked you up real good to make you this terrifying.." He slightly grimaced, a grin still plastered onto his face, albeit a little more wearily than before.

Our conversation ended there, as my vision faded to black.

…

My eyes opened, finding myself still in the tent.

I turned over to my side – making sure I didn't fall off this time – to see Eris's hair and the note still on the floor, both still a little dampened from my tears. I sighed out of relief I didn't know I needed, it wasn't a dream after all..

I turned onto my back again. I have a few things to think over.

What do I do now?

My first thought went to Sylphy.

I could go to Ranoa again, and to the Magic University once more, and see Sylphy again, and marry her, and have a family with-

I slapped myself. Getting off track won't do any good for me now.

Right, what else can I do?

I should send a letter to Eris, but she probably hasn't arrived at the Holy Land of Swords yet.. I'll have to make the letter extra spicy, she better regret leaving me!

Ah, right.

I left to find my mother after Eris left, and ended up going into the Northern Territories of the Central Continent when she was on the complete other side of the world in the Begaritt Continent..

I could go there, and save my mom. I'm more than capable of it, but that'd also mean I might not be able to see Sylphy again.

"Damn it all.." I groaned. I'm definitely thinking about it too much.

Paul is alive again..

Oh, that's right.

He's still alive right now, going to the Begaritt continent to save my mom.. With Roxy. I could feel my heartbeat getting faster at the notion of seeing her again, alive.

I do wanna see him, and mom, and Roxy, but how would I explain why I was there in the first place? "Ah, well, I just knew my mom was here because I'm from the future and saved her in the past?"

He'd probably look at me weird, I snickered.

Still, though. I could also get there before them.. But Perugius isn't my ally at this point, so I'd just be trespassing property.

Well.. I could probably get there myself fairly quickly too.. But I might not be fast enough to get there before Paul that way.

.

.

.

Alright, I know what to do.

I hopped off the bed, and got into my traveling equipment. Socks, pants, boots, robe..

Robe.

I stared at the gray robe fondly before putting it on.

I grabbed Aqua Heartia, making sure to wrap the cloth around the top of it, before I stepped outside this tent for the first time.

It was dusk, still dark, but light was beginning to come through. Nobody was awake at this time, but that's fine. I used flame magic to temporarily light up my surroundings.

I decided to quickly build a wall around the camp. Alphonse would've asked eventually anyway. It took a bit of time – around five minutes, actually – but it was much faster than the first time I did it all those years ago, which took around an hour. A sign of my progress as a mage.

"Master Rudeus?"

I flinched. I turned around to see Alphonse looking at me, a little confused.

"..Alphonse." I replied.

As soon as he got a good look at my face, his eyes widened for a moment before his posture straightened and his usual professional expression returned. "I must thank you for doing this, despite the fact I haven't asked this of you yet."

I nodded. This is the least I could've done in my debt to the Boreas Greyrat branch after all they've done for me.

"What do you plan to do now, if I may ask?"

"I plan to go save my mother."

'Save', I winced. Not 'find'. A slip of the tongue, but not a good one if it'll only lead to more questions.

Luckily for me, he only nodded his head in response. With that, it was probably the end of our conversation.

"Well, now that I'm done with this, I'll be off." I said, turning away from him in the direction of where the Begaritt continent will be. "Good lu-"

"Are you alright, Master Rudeus?"

I flinched this time, and turned back to him, trying to put on the best smile I could pull off. Unfortunately, I don't think it was very good; it's been a while since I've smiled, and I've never had the best poker face.

"What do you mean?" I feigned ignorance, facing him once more.

He looked at me more sharply, yet with concern, examining my face over and over, trying to find something. I was definitely doing something wrong.

"..You look more tired and tense than usual. It might be better for you to rest another day or two before setting out again." He said finally.

I shook my head. "I'll be fine." I said, trying to make my smile feel more real, however I could.

He looked at my face once more, and sighed. "Very well."

I nodded once and again and turned around to once again face the Begaritt Continent, exhaling another sigh of relief before walking once more.

I thought about my decision once more, possibly leaving Sylphy for good, before shaking my head. She's strong. She'll be fine without me. It's better this way, I won't have to worry about breaking her heart right now.

And with that, my journey to the Begaritt Continent, to save my mother, starts for the first time in this.. Third life?