Chapter 4 - Every Piece of Me

Author's Note: This chapter is definitely the worst. :') After this, it'll get better. Promise. ^-^

~ Amina Gila

When he goes back, he just feels... empty. Numb. Dead. Omega is gone, and she'll be safe. And Hunter has to find a way to get back to her. She said she'll be fine, but for how long? Cid is hardly someone Hunter would trust with their kid. Rex, yes, but Rex is busy, and he has other things to worry about. Hunter can't ask that of him.

He thought he could get Crosshair back, that he could help him, but he was wrong, and he lost the entire squad because of it. Crosshair took Omega from him, from them, and – and it wasn't entirely his doing, so being angry at him won't change it. Hunter knows that, but it's still hard.

Crosshair turned them all, and at least it means he's not going to be trying to kill them, which is better than nothing, but it's not what they need. If he had his blaster here, maybe Hunter would've been able to stun Crosshair, and they could find a way to get his chip out. Tech could easily do it here if he were in the right mind.

Though then again, there is still the question of whether Crosshair would survive it.

But he's not ready to see them again and confront what he did to them.

Crosshair drops down from his vent-perch when Hunter returns – he must've heard his approach.

Lashing out at him wouldn't change anything, though it's tempting.

It wouldn't change anything.

For a moment, they just look at each other. Crosshair tosses Hunter his helmet and moves off down the hall.

Hunter follows, mostly because he's certain that with as volatile as Crosshair's being, he'll lash out and hurt one of them. He can feel, roughly, where they are with the electric pulsing of their hearts. He could track them, too, but...

Crosshair goes to check on Tech, first, and on hindsight, Hunter isn't entirely surprised about that. Wrecker is... probably still turning. He's endlessly hungry, and Hunter doesn't know how much – if at all – he's been able to feed.

Something about the shift slightly changes their scent, Hunter notices. He noticed it distantly on Crosshair, but he didn't quite place it until seeing Tech. It's a bit more... metallic. They're not really human anymore.

Tech is leaning against the wall, half sleeping, but he shakes himself to wakefulness and stands when they enter.

There's someone else in the cell, and Hunter can't detect another heartbeat from them.

... He doesn't want to think about this.

Crosshair, he could understand. But Tech? He would've been careful, unless he just didn't care. And he can, albeit reluctantly, understand why.

Hunter stays, watching as Tech collects his helmet and blasters.

Crosshair has already moved on to the others, and Hunter wants to follow him, if only to make sure he's not going to hurt the others, or anyone, but he stays, because they need to talk. He needs to – to – something.

"I thought turning him would help," Hunter admits finally.

"I am aware," Tech replies briskly. "It appears that hypothesis was incorrect." He brushes past him for the doorway, pausing. "Where is Omega?"

He was hoping to explain it to them all at once, and the deep, aching emptiness resurfaces full force. He failed her. He failed all of them, immeasurably, and he has no idea how to go on from here. "Tech –" he starts, cut off by the sound of a blaster shot.

They sprint into the hall instantly, and Hunter tracks it momentarily – he felt the heartbeat stop, can smell the smoke.

Echo's outraged exclamation only adds to it.

Hunter reaches the doorway first, skidding to a stop, and Tech appears at his side a moment later.

"Would you rather they report to the Empire?" Crosshair is asking, holstering his blaster. Echo looks angry enough to jump him.

"It doesn't matter," Echo hisses, "You can't just kill defenseless people." That's something he learned from his Jedi General, Hunter suspects, because while it's not something the clones are fond of doing, it's still not something they wouldn't do.

Crosshair seems quite intent on killing everyone in his now-former squad, on account of the fact that three of them are now dead. He just shot the one in Echo's cell.

Hunter and Tech exchange glances. That Crosshair is able to do this means he isn't entirely being affected by his chip, not the way he was on Bracca, not so blindly. Maybe it wasn't entirely wrong, after all.

"Under the circumstances," Tech admits grudgingly, "Crosshair is correct. If information of our turn were to get out, that would... complicate things."

Echo turns a near-death glare to him, but he can't argue. None of them really can, and Hunter hates that Crosshair is right about that, because they can't let the Empire find out. They can't get sent off to be picked apart in a lab. They need to get out of here and go back for Omega. She needs them.

"Hunter," Echo says when Crosshair leaves, "Why didn't you tell us?" He doesn't sound hurt, or upset, exactly.

That doesn't make him feel any less like a failure, though, because he did fail them. If he hadn't turned Crosshair, he could've gotten them both out of there like he was trying. But thinking about it obsessively won't change the past. "I... didn't think it relevant," he admits.

Echo huffs out an annoyed sigh. "Well, I guess you never had reason to suspect it would be."

They join each other in the hall, and the 'what now' is buzzing incessantly in the back of his mind. Hunter doesn't know what to do, what he even could do, short of staying. He's always been in control, and the knowledge that he isn't is grating on him. Hunter's strength has always been from his brothers, not himself, and they...

There's another blaster shot, and this time, he's not even surprised about it.

Wrecker and Crosshair emerge a few moments later, and Wrecker looks on the verge of either panicking or crying. He practically teleports to Hunter's side the moment he sees him. "You okay?" he asks.

Hunter can't help being momentarily taken aback by it, though he doesn't know why. "I'm fine," he assures.

He still doesn't have a blaster, and he's starting to suspect that's intentional, because if he could stun Crosshair – and he's the only one who could, probably – they might still have a chance of escaping. But he can't – can't walk away again, though that might just as much be their bond talking. He feels a certain... protectiveness of him that Hunter hasn't let himself feel since they lost him in the first place.

It's their bond, and if not for the circumstances, he wouldn't have a problem with it.

Sending Omega back was – it was the only choice he had, because he couldn't spend the rest of their time on Kamino fearing for her, operating under the sole hope that Crosshair would listen to him.

"Crosshair," Hunter says, because he has to try to reason with him, even if it goes nowhere, "Do you really think the Empire would be willing to take us back? To trust us?"

"My mission was to recruit you," Crosshair replies, a certain dark amusement in his voice.

"You know we can't trust the Empire," Hunter argues. "How can you guarantee it's not a trap?"

He can feel the heat of his brother's glare. "You betrayed everything we stood for," he throws back. "Killing you would be justified."

It – it hurts far more than it should.

"Hunter," Wrecker interjects quietly, nudging his shoulder, "The kid...?"

"She's fine," Hunter replies, but he doesn't look away from Crosshair, because they can't trust him, either. "I – I sent her off Kamino. She'll be safe until we get back."

"You aren't going back," Crosshair snaps, tensing. Hunter can feel his anger coiling, about to lash out. "I won't let you."

"You can't stop us," Wrecker throws back, angrily. He's glaring, and the hurt anger on his face is gutting. Wrecker is always so light and cheerful and goofy. He's chaotic, not brooding, or angry or depressed.

"Actually, he can," Tech interjects with no small amount of anger or bitterness. "Vampires can be compelled by their sires. It is not something we can resist."

Echo looks on the verge of going into murder-mode himself right now.

"We're not like the regs. We never have been," Crosshair throws back. "We're superior. The Empire can't protect the galaxy without strength. This is what we were made for. Think of all we could do together. We were brothers once. We can be again."

Now that the others are here, he's far less willing to try reaching out for Crosshair, because for all that Hunter wants to get him back, he can't risk the rest of his squad. But his words don't sound like him anymore. "You really don't get who we are, do you?" It hurts, more than anything, because Crosshair is – was – one of them. They're a family. Nothing else has mattered to them. Nothing ever has, certainly not some kind of self-perceived greatness.

He can feel Crosshair's hurt mingled with anger, and it hurts him, too, just watching, knowing there's nothing he can do about it.

"We have purpose, Crosshair," he continues. "We have the kid. We have each other. Nothing else matters." It's not entirely true, but it's true enough, and Hunter will always do what's best for his squad.

"Wake up, Hunter," he hisses, stepping closer. "She's not one of us."

"Omega is our sister," Tech interjects firmly, enough fierce rage in his voice that it even surprises Hunter. He's protective, yes, but Hunter has never seen him that way towards their kid.

"Yeah," Wrecker agrees fiercely, angrily, "You can't take her."

Crosshair scoffs. "Hunter had her leave." He reaches up, pulling his helmet off, and Hunter's hand clenches over the edge of his own.

He's just intentionally trying to get them riled up, and Hunter knows that, though the pain spearing through his heart is too much to not react to. "You know they'll never go with you willingly. And, what?" Hunter snaps back. "You'll force them to come? You know that wouldn't make it real." How can he do this to them? It's – it's not Crosshair's fault, really, and that's the only thing keeping any of them from snapping.

He can't make it stop any more than Wrecker did on Bracca, and they have to find a way to get him free from it before...

"Leaving was your choice before," Crosshair hisses. "It would be again."

Trying to reason with him about that is, quite obviously, pointless. Whatever the chip is doing to him, it's quite obviously made him firmly stuck on the belief that they abandoned him, which is – it isn't entirely untrue, but they didn't have a choice, either, and how could they take him with them if he was trying to kill them?

Echo hasn't spoken since this started, but he's still here, not far from Hunter, ever silently supportive, as are Wrecker and Tech. They don't want this – they want to follow Hunter, as they always have. And Crosshair knows that. He knows it, and with how unstable he is right now...

There's a look of firm decision in his eyes now, and Hunter doesn't like it. He only gets that look when he's planning to neutralize what he sees as a threat.

And that, right now, is Hunter, because the others are under his control.

Crosshair doesn't look away. "Wrecker," he says, orders, more accurately, and it makes Hunter feel sick to hear him using that. He could – probably should – make Crosshair stop this, because he can do that, but that would be wrong. Crosshair can and is controlling the others. Even though he knows what it's like. And no, he can't help it, but that doesn't make it any better. It makes it no less sickening, and Hunter can do nothing except stand by and watch. "Hold him."

Wrecker starts forwards instantly, unbidden, and Hunter can feel the spike of his heartrate as he starts panicking. He was controlled before. He knows what that's like, and Hunter can't imagine how terrifying it must be for him.

"Crosshair," Hunter objects, even if he knows it's pointless, because Crosshair can't help it either. "Don't. You can't do this to them."

How could he have let things fall this far? When he turned Crosshair, he thought it might help something. It – it didn't.

"Can't I?" he replies, and he sounds far, far too smug about it. "You're the one who made it possible, Hunter."

"Don't hurt him," Wrecker practically begs, even as he takes hold of Hunter. It's tight enough that trying to resist it would be pointless, and what would he do, anyway? He can't leave them. He had the choice to leave with Omega, and she was right. His brothers need him here, more than she does.

Wrecker's hands are on his upper arms, keeping him from moving, which was probably smart on Crosshair's part, because Hunter is half of the mind to just steal a blaster and stun him, even if the others would try to stop him. If. He doesn't know that they would.

Hunter glances at them, just to see. Echo's hand is hovering near his blaster. Tech's expression is tight, angry.

"Hm," is all Crosshair says in response, approaching after tossing his helmet to the floor. He's moving deliberately slowly.

But no matter what he's become, what he's done, he's still Hunter's younger brother. He could never stop feeling protective of Crosshair, even if he's – he's also... scared. And he hates himself for feeling that.

He knows not to dwell on fear, but Crosshair knows him, knows his weak points, how to make him react, and he's already made it fully clear that he's willing to do so if he deems it necessary.

Hunter thought he could overcome the control his chip had, but he was wrong. It hasn't, at least not really.

Wrecker whines and tugs Hunter closer to him. His touch is gentle, at least. It's not rough like it was on Bracca, when he attacked Hunter and tried to kill him. It's soothing, and he – he selfishly wants that right now.

Hunter wants to reach back, to touch him, to try comforting him, because this isn't Wrecker's fault. He can't do that though, because Crosshair will see it as a weakness and use it as one.

The look on Crosshair's face is calculating, almost smug, and Hunter doesn't let himself feel, not now, just watches. Thinking about all the horrifyingly graphic ways he could die wouldn't stop it. And the others would stop Crosshair if he went that far, and Hunter somehow doesn't think he will. He doesn't look like he's going for the kill.

Crosshair reaches up, touching Hunter's right pauldron before lifting his hand to tangle into his hair. His grip is tight and firm, but it doesn't hurt, even if it's not exactly comfortable either. Their eyes meet, briefly, and the anger has faded from Crosshair's, his face softening a bit, though he looks more desperate than anything else. That's what hurts more than anything does.

He's close, too close, and Hunter pointedly lets himself just be, perfectly mindful of how Crosshair can feel every bit of it through their bond, and he'll use it against them, someway or other. Though, he doesn't fully know what Crosshair would have to gain from this, because Hunter is already turned, and it isn't as though the bond already cementing between them could be altered.

Crosshair tugs his head back a bit, holding him. He hesitates a moment as if uncertain, slightly hesitant, before reaching up with his other hand to pull down the neckline of Hunter's bodyglove and leans closer. His transformation must be mostly complete, considering how sharp his fangs are when they touch his skin. Hunter wills himself to stay calm, just watching, not feeling, not thinking, because it isn't as though Crosshair has had the best track record in the world of not draining the people he feeds on or anything.

Once, he wouldn't have had objection to it, because he – he doesn't mind being this close to Crosshair, not after he's been away for so long, even if his scent is almost entirely overwhelming, but now... Hunter can't trust him, and he loathes it.

Crosshair's grip on him tightens the smallest fraction before he bites down, fangs cutting through his skin.

Hunter inhales sharply on instinct as the pain blossoms in his neck, though really, it's not that bad. He's been shot before. Nothing was like Bracca.

Wrecker whines, his grip tightening, and Hunter aches to reach back to him, but Wrecker's holding his arms, and he can't move enough to do that.

Hunter can't turn to look at the others, but he doesn't need to. He can sense how sharply Echo and Tech's heart rates spike, even if just momentarily, and he interjects with a "stand down, it's alright", before either of them can react. Stunning Crosshair right now won't help.

He doesn't feel anger from Crosshair anymore, doesn't feel a desire to hurt. It's more of a desperate, hurt, longing, and if – if Crosshair's doing this because he wants to be close to him, Hunter won't stop him.

He couldn't.

Even if the proximity is making his skin crawl, because this is Crosshair, and he tried to kill them. More than once. The last time they were on Kamino, he nearly shot Hunter several times, and he did shoot Wrecker, and he...

Crosshair's hand drops back to his shoulder, clinging, pressing close.

There's a desperate longing echoing through their bond, and Hunter reaches back instinctively, tugging a little against Wrecker's grip, pressing his hand to Crosshair's side. It's about the most he can do right now, even if there's an entirely illogical part of him that wants to pull his little brother into his arms and just hold him, the same way he was Omega not so long ago.

But it feels so wrong when Crosshair is the one who took Omega from them, and when she has no one to be with her like this, not now.

He's been morbidly curious as to what it's like to be fed on ever since he bit Tech some weeks back, simply out of curiosity, because Tech seemed abnormally calm and affectionate afterwards. And it's taking a few moments, likely from how tense he was before, but having Crosshair curled up against him is starting to make him feel the same way.

He's Crosshair's sire, and his older brother, and every instinct Hunter has screams at him to protect. To give, if Crosshair needs or wants it, and he yearns for this closeness, too.

Hunter gently tugs himself free of Wrecker, who steps back surprisingly fast, and wraps his arms around Crosshair.

"Crosshair, you need to let him go," Tech interjects firmly, appearing beside them.

Crosshair makes a grumpy sound, still feeding, his grip tightening a bit.

"It's fine," Hunter assures, glancing at Tech.

Tech is watching, visibly unhappy, though Hunter isn't sure if he's upset that Crosshair's feeding from him, or something else. "Feeding speeds up healing," he replies. "Unless you would like to explain to the Empire why his scars mysteriously disappeared, I would recommend stopping."

He has a point, but if it's healing that, maybe... Maybe Omega is right, and it could free him. Hunter doesn't know nearly enough about their chips to understand if feeding would be enough to break it down, but... they have been here for a long time.

Long enough that they need to move.

"Crosshair," Hunter says, lifting his hands to his little brother's shoulders, pushing him back. "Later. We'll have time later, once we've figured this out."

He looks as disappointed in stopping as Hunter himself feels, but they have to be reasonable, and Tech is right. He doesn't want to stop, but with how dead Kamino is right now, he doesn't feel comfortable staying here a minute longer than necessary.

**w**

Leaving isn't any better. Crosshair takes them up to the Star Destroyers overhead, where they see Admiral Rampart again. Hunter watches it, obviously, keeping an eye out for threats, and while they're everywhere, no one is... trying to kill them.

Yet.

They – they're taken to the bridge.

He didn't understand it, until the Star Destroyers start firing down on Kamino. They're destroying the facility, the city that was their only home. It's the only home the clones have ever had, and the Empire is destroying it.

Any longer, and they could've been on it. As is, he – he thinks they're fortunate to have gotten off when they did. He can practically feel the rage Echo is radiating, and Tech and Wrecker's numb horror. Crosshair just feels... empty. He's a mess of hurt and anger, and that hasn't changed since their bond first formed.

Hunter wants nothing more than to react, to lash out, to shoot Rampart or – or something, but he won't do that because it's obvious this is a test. It's meant to see how true they are to staying with the Empire, and he cannot let anything show.

He won't risk his brothers, and he won't let them do it either, though he's certain Crosshair is dealing with that himself.

They – they need to find a way off this, but they need to break Crosshair free first, though Hunter doesn't quite know how to do that. Not without Tech's scanner. He's mapping out everything he can, keeping close watch on patrols and whatnot.

They're temporarily assigned the same quarters, at least.

It's – he's grateful to be alone with his brothers again, but that means being alone with Crosshair, and a conversation that he is not ready to have. He's not ready to confront how badly he failed them, not yet, and probably, he won't ever really be.

Wrecker curls up in a miserable ball in the corner the moment they enter, and it's so jarringly wrong. Echo and Tech sit, a little slower, side by side. Neither of them speaks. After a moment, Echo crosses his arms, and Tech starts tapping on his datapad. Hunter settles down on the floor between Echo and Wrecker, a distance from them both.

He's beyond exhausted, and wants nothing more than to just sleep himself, but that's not...

Crosshair comes in a moment later, and all thoughts of sleep instantly vanish.

"We should rest," Hunter says finally, quietly, as Crosshair stands hovering awkwardly just inside the doorway.

None of them move, not until Crosshair disappears into the 'fresher, and Hunter half suspects he's just going to hide. Considering how none of them can be around him without tensing up, that's not... really surprising.

Hunter casts a sideways glance towards Wrecker, half of the mind to ask if he's alright, but they need to focus on finding a way to get Crosshair's chip out.

About that, Omega is right. The odds are in their favor, at least, and that's something they can work with.

"Tech," Hunter says, keeping his voice down to avoid being overheard. "We need to find a way to get Crosshair's chip out."

"We will be watched," Tech replies bluntly, "The odds of success without detection are not in our favor."

"But his healing factor," Hunter objects. "The risks aren't as high, are they?"

"Theoretically, no," Tech agrees, "I am uncertain as to whether his chip would be considered a part of him."

"Omega said it's not fully organic," he adds.

"It isn't," Tech agrees, "I suspect that would explain his still-present hunger."

"You mean, constant hunger isn't normal?" Echo asks, looking up.

"It's there," Hunter tells him instantly, as the only full-fledged vampire member. "The pull is constant, but it's not overwhelming."

"It is necessary on occasion, but not regularly," Tech tells him. "I am uncertain as to whether your turn was complete." He looks thoughtful, almost regretful. "But with the extent of your injuries, I am uncertain as to how it will affect you."

Echo huffs, leaning back against the wall. "Lucky me."

It makes him wonder what that will mean for Wrecker, who's been uncharacteristically quiet this entire time. Crosshair's scar was – Hunter has no idea what it's from, but it was far worse than what Wrecker got when he lost his eye. (He wants to know what happened to Crosshair, what hurt him, who hurt him.) But the rest of Tech's words are slowly catching up to him. "If we let him feed long enough," Hunter says, diverting the conversation back to the important topic. "Would it dissolve his inhibitor chip?"

"It is possible," Tech agrees.

By this point, Hunter is too afraid to hope. He doesn't want to, because he doesn't know if it means anything. They have no guarantee of anything, and even if it does work, it may already be too late to leave. But still, this is Crosshair, and he has to try. "I'll do it," he tells them automatically, because he will not trust Crosshair to feed on the others. It's risky, and Crosshair was trying to kill them not so long ago. Hunter has always been the first line of defense between his brothers and... danger.

Wrecker whines, reaching for him, and Hunter shifts closer to him automatically.

A sense of depressing emptiness is gnawing at him, no doubt at all of them.

Wrecker curls up, half in his lap, and Echo settles down next to Hunter, close enough that their shoulders are lightly touching. It's almost weird how it's them, because they're the two who had no warning for this whatsoever.

They'll need to move when Crosshair comes out, probably, if this will work, but Hunter doesn't quite have the heart to tell them to leave yet.

He failed them all, unspeakably, and they're still loyal because that's who they are. They'll still follow him. They always will.

But Crosshair will be back soon, and... Hunter will have to figure out how to deal with that. For all that he craves to have their youngest brother back with them, to not have to constantly worry for him or fear Crosshair coming after and hurting them, he's – he's also scared.

He wants to trust him, but they can't. Crosshair has already made it clear that he won't hesitate to hurt them if he thinks it's necessary. He can't help it, either.

Force. They're a mess, but they have to figure this out, because they have to get out of here, and Hunter isn't leaving any of his brothers behind again.

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