On the next morning, Gaara walked into the kitchen to find Shinki in front of a plate filled with roasted chicken liver.
"What are you doing there?"
"It's the last meal we have from Sakura."
Gaara sighed, caressed the boy's head and took a bite himself.
"Will she come back, father?"
"I don't know, son. We can only hope."
Shinki turned his face to look at the plate again. Gaara had so many things to do: hire someone else to take care of the house, make more time to spend with Shinki, move all plants back into the greenhouse. Many of her clothes were left behind. Gaara looked at them and smelled them from time to time when he missed her. Sakura took the ring, the earrings and the bird with her. It looks like she couldn't break up with him for good.
Even if she chose to leave, Sakura felt as if someone cut her with a knife from the inside out. She didn't even reach Konoha before she started having doubts. Her first stop was at the Hokage Tower.
"Kakashi-sensei"
"Sakura, how was your trip to Suna?"
"Pretty well. Congratulations for the promotion. I am sorry I couldn't be here for the ceremony."
"Don't worry about it. It wasn't such a big deal."
"Do you have any missions for me?"
"You have just returned home a minute ago and you already want a mission?"
"Yes." She bluntly admitted.
Both Sakura and Kakashi laughed awkwardly.
Sakura's meeting with Ino didn't go as well as she hoped it would. All the questions started from the ring and all discussions were about Gaara. When is the wedding? Ino asked if she can organize the flower arrangements for the wedding ceremony. Sakura didn't want to think about Gaara, but she couldn't stop. His image always flashed in front of her eyes and her heart was wearing the print of his hand. No matter how much she tried to erase it, she couldn't. And the baby? What is he doing right now? If Shinki suffered so much back when Gaara was gone for 3 days, how did he feel when Sakura left for an indefinite period of time?
Sakura and Ino stopped by a restaurant to grab something to eat. Sakura was trying to avoid seeing her parents again for as long as she could. Her first thought while she waited for the food was I wonder if Gaara and Shinki have something to eat.
"What an interesting bird!" Ino said.
"Thank you. It's a talking babbler."
"Are you allowed to bring birds from Suna?"
"It was a gift from Gaara."
"Awww. I think he really loves you."
"Yes..." Sakura answered while looking down, at the table.
"You don't seem too happy. Did you have a fight?"
"Of course not. What are you saying?"
But Ino knew how to read between the lines. Something was definitely wrong with Sakura, but Ino didn't want to pressure her friend if she didn't wish to say what bothered her.
"Does it know any tricks? Such as catching seeds mid-air."
"No, but she can send messages. It's a messenger bird."
"Then it must have been an important present. Nobody sends messenger birds as gifts. Otherwise, anyone had one and could sell the secrets of a village."
"Mhm..."
Sakura couldn't get out of her thoughts. Did it mean so much for Gaara to give me the bird?
"Sakura!"
"Sakura!"
Her parents hugged her as soon as she opened the door.
"What are you doing home without giving us a heads up? Did your boyfriend come with you? I didn't have a chance to clean the house."
"Mom, it's just me. Don't worry about it."
"Yes, let her breathe. She has just come back." Her father said.
He let her sit on his knees and she told them everything she learned in Suna about the food, the scenery, the people... However, they were only interested in her fiancé.
"How much was the ring?"
"When is the wedding?"
"It's time for you to get married. You're not getting any younger. You're our only daughter. You need heirs."
Sakura gained a headache. They are so superficial! They haven't even asked what kind of man Gaara is, if he treats me well...Oh, how I miss him. And Shinki, too. I wonder if they think about me, too.
Two days have lapsed since she arrived to Konoha and Sakura lost the inner battle she was fighting with herself. On the third day, she finally gave in and wrote a letter to Gaara.
To Gaara
I write this letter to let you know that I am well. Nothing happened to me on the road. I take medication and my stomach doesn't hurt so much. Ever since I arrived I couldn't stop thinking about you and the baby. How are you doing? Are you eating well? Who is taking care of you now? I know I am selfish, but I hope you can forgive me for leaving.
Sakura
When Gaara saw Sakura's bird, he knew she sent him a message. The first message after a week. Suddenly, blood came back to his cheeks. He stood up from the chair so quick, the room started spinning. His eyes were sunken into his head and the dark circles around his eyes were more visible. He only wore black clothes. It was as if he went to a funeral every day. I am dead without Sakura.
He opened the envelope and smiled to himself. Sure, it wasn't much and not romantic either, but she thought about him even if only a little. She didn't send him the ring back. A tear stained the letter and he hurried to wipe it carefully to preserve this memory from her. From that day on, he kept the letter inside his robe, on his chest, to take it out and read it every time he missed her, meaning more than once a day.
"Shinki, Sakura sent us a letter."
"Really?" The boy ran happily to his dad with his arms stretched to get the letter.
"I want to see. I want to see."
"Wiat, wait. Don't rip it."
Gaara sat on the couch and placed Shinki on his knees. He unfolded the letter and let the boy read. Shinki traced all kanji with his finger and mumbled the words she wrote.
"Her handwriting is so pretty."
"Mhm." His father approved.
"Father, we need to write her back and ask her when she is coming back."
"Good idea. Think about what you want to tell her. I will write something to her, too. Then, I will send the bird back."
"Yes!" Shinki screamed cheerfully as he stood up and ran to his room where he grabbed his crayons and paper. He started writing immediately.
Meanwhile, Gaara started writing his own letter.
To my one and only love
Seven days since I saw my lover
And sickness invaded me
I am heavy in all my limbs
My body has forsaken me
When the physicians come to me
My heart rejects their remedies
The magicians are quite helpless
My sickness is not discerned
To tell me 'She is here' would revive me
Her name would make me rise
My lover is better than all prescriptions
She does more for me than all medicines
Her coming to me is my amulet
The sight of her makes me well
When she opens her eyes, my body is young
Her speaking makes me strong
Embracing her expels my malady
Seven days since she went from me.
Your lion, Gaara
The original team seven, formed of Sasuke, Sakura and Noruto received the mission to gather information about a device situated on the outskirts of the village and destroy it if it turns out to be a threat to the village's security. Sasuke gathered some Intel about it on a previous mission. He knew there was something strange about it and he never spoke one word more than necessary.
"Sasuke-kun, what does this machine do?" Sakura asked.
"It's part of a program to adjust the weather for creating food shortage."
"No way."
"Sakura-chan, don't worry! We will destroy it! We will tear everything down and..." Naruto said when Sasuke interrupted him.
"Shut up, you idiot!"
"Sakura started laughing. She missed their bickering.
"Look what you did! Now, Sakura-chan is laughing at me. You'll pay for this!" Naruto shouted as he showed his fist.
"What did you say?"
"Enough. Enough. We have a mission." Sakura intervened.
During the day, they hid among the trees and took notes of the huge machine splayed out on the field in front of them. It was surrounded by an electric fence. Sasuke looked for a way to infiltrate the facility. At night, they slept in the woods, each in their own sleeping bags. Naruto slept without a worry. He snored loudly, as usual. Sasuke was on watch. Sakura couldn't sleep. A while ago, there was nothing she wished more than to sleep next to Sasuke. Now, that she looked at his back, she didn't feel anything. Whenever she walked next to Sasuke, she thought: Gaara always matched his steps with mine. Sasuke walked in whatever rhythm he wanted without thinking about her at all. Sasuke has never given her any gifts, while Gaara gave her jewels, flowers, money... She brought her hand to the earrings with white lotus flowers she had from Gaara and sighed.
She hid in the forest when she read the letter from Gaara. She was crying rivers. He is sick because of me. It's all because of me. Poor Gaara. Missing him grinded her insides more than the mill grinded wheat to make flour. Her heart was in pain and dark thoughts wouldn't let her be. Ever since she started the mission, her dark thoughts heightened and increased in frequency. When she opened Shinki's letter, she sunk to the ground. She yanked her hair with one hand and held the letter with her other hand.
To mother
I am so happy that you wrote to us! When are you coming back? Father is very sad. He cries when he thinks I don't see him. He hired someone else to cook, but I don't like the food if it doesn't come from your hands. If I only take maximum grades at school, will you come quicker?
Shinki
Sasuke came looking for her, so she wiped her eyes in a hurry and hid the letters in her dress, close to her chest.
"Sakura, we need you. We caught an employee, but he got hurt pretty ugly. We need you to heal him so we can ask questions."
"Fine."
His formal bossy tone has always irritated her. There was no tinge of sweetness in his voice, unlike Gaara. Gaara always talked nice to her, he wrote her poems. He helped her when she was sick. His words drove away the illness inside her. Stop it, Sakura! You have a mission to complete.
Naruto had his knee on the prisoner's neck when Sasuke and Sakura arrived. After she healed him, Sakura didn't pay too much attention to what he had to say mainly because he only cursed or told lies. Sasuke detected the lies right away and beat him some more. After a few long hours, the prisoner finally gave in and revealed some shocking information for Sakura.
"This machine sends high voltage into the sky. If the power that's in the ionosphere discharged back down to the ground, it would be a lightning bolt of devastating proportions; as devastating as 50 volcano eruptions exploding every second for about a minute."
"What do you mean, you bastard?" Naruto asked as he grabbed the man by the collar.
"He means it will erase Konoha from the maps if we intervene into the real purpose of the machine which is..." Sasuke said.
"Mind control."
"What do you mean?" Sakura asked.
"We plant thoughts into the weak minds."
The boys were shocked that she took the lead into questioning the witness.
"What kind of thoughts?"
"Self harm thoughts, doing harm to others, make them want to kill certain types of people: like those over 60 and under 18 years old."
All of a sudden, the sky fell heavy on her shoulders. She knew right there and then that these were exactly the thoughts she manifested. We plant thoughts into the weak minds.
Sasuke took the lead again.
"Why do you plant thoughts?"
"To control the population. To make them obey us. People here have too much will to do whatever they want, they are rebellious and refuse to obey commands."
Sakura's stomach turned upside-down.
"Once into their minds, they can't escape unless you destroy the machine, but that's impossible." The man laughed in mockery.
"I see."
Naruto tied the man's arms and legs, gagged him and transported him to the prison. Sasuke transformed himself into that man to infiltrate the enemy's headquarters and Sakura remained alone in the woods to observe from the outside. She was ashamed her mind was weak enough to be susceptible to such a thing. The other side of her was happy that she could go back to Gaara now. If the dark thoughts were to disappear, Gaara wouldn't have to worry about her hurting Shinki and Sakura would stop feeling like Gaara looked at her from behind a magnifying glass.
To Gaara
The closest man to my heart and the only one I love. My heart cries to find out you are sick. Your tears sting me and all I wish is for you to crush me with your strong arms in a loving embrace. Listen to me, dear. I need you to take care of yourself and Shinki because we will see each other soon. Naruto, Sasuke and I investigate a machine from outside of Konoha. I found out it is responsible for my dark thoughts. After we destroy it, you, me and Shinki will be reunited and then, none of us will ever have to cry or suffer again. You will have no reason to doubt me. My mind will be busy with the thought of you and Shinki alone. My heart tumbles when I think of this. Being without you is worse than hell for me. Please forgive me I had to go. I promise to make it up to you. I love you!
Your flower, Sakura
Sakura looked down at her ring and cried even harder. Her stomach started to hurt again and she tried to think of something else.
Notes: Thank you very much for leaving reviews. Thanks to you, I gained enough strength to translate this chapter faster. I hope you enjoy.:D Please continue to let me know what you think:D