Elliot knew he probably needed a rest day, but running was keeping him sane at this point. He loved everything about helping with Noah. He valued the time with him because he wasn't sure what would be next for the three of him. He knew Liv wouldn't be anywhere close to ready to live together full time…even if they had been pretty successful at it for a week. It was fine though. He never wanted to push her. He promised himself after the moment in the kitchen in January, he would follow her lead, and let her dictate the pace.
When his alarm went off he was surprised to see Noah missing from the bed. He and Olivia must have been exhausted because neither of them noticed him climb over.
He rolled out of bed, careful to move quietly so as not to wake Liv. He moved silently down the hall until he saw the TV on in the living room. The volume was turned mostly down. He approached the back of the couch, trying to make a little noise so he didn't scare the crap out of the kid.
Sure enough his head popped up behind the couch back. "Did I wake you up? I was trying to be quiet."
He smiled and shook his head. "Nah, my alarm went off. I usually go for a run right about now."
Noah looked at him like he was a little crazy. "I think I slept too much yesterday. I couldn't sleep anymore, and I didn't want to bug you or mom," he explained his reasoning for watching TV so early in the morning.
"That's completely fine bud. Just keep the volume down and it should be fine."
"Thanks," Noah said before he returned his attention to the TV. Elliot started to walk back to the bedroom when Noah quickly asked, "are you still going running?" The sound of his voice made Elliot wonder if he wanted him to stay.
He could stay. Maybe he could go later if he got too antsy. "No, I think I'm going to sleep in this morning. We've had a couple of long days."
Noah nodded in agreement. "Okay, cool. I promise I'll stay quiet here. I'll let you and mom sleep."
"Thanks Noh."
"No problem," he said over his shoulder as he snuggled back into the couch.
With Noah taken care of he made his way back to the bedroom. He yawned and stretched his arms, and stepped back through the door. To his surprise Olivia was just getting out of bed.
"Is Noah okay? I rolled over and felt a little abandoned." She smiled and headed in his direction.
Elliot looked over his shoulder and shut the door. "He's fine. He slept too much yesterday and couldn't sleep."
"You heading out?" They had developed a routine. He always kissed her goodbye before he left so she didn't feel abandoned if she woke up to him not being there.
"No. I planned to, but Noah seemed nervous about me leaving. I don't know if it bothered him because it was dark or something, but he seemed uncomfortable so I told him I'd stay this morning."
"You sure?" She knew he usually needed the time to work out some of the tension and anxiety brought on by the case.
She was close enough to reach so he reached for her hand and pulled her closer. "It's one day. I'll be okay. If it makes him feel safer then I'm fine staying." He shrugged. "I'm feeling antsy, but maybe I'll find some time later. I dunno."
He was about to walk back to the bed when her hand reached for his hip. Once he faced her again she leaned in and kissed him softly. He reached for her, letting his hands slide from her waist to her hips. Her lips moved slow against his, almost lazily, having just awakened from sleep. He was pleasantly surprised when she reached her arm around him to lock the door.
-000-
Her heart pounded when she woke up in the dark alone. She had quickly rolled over and threw her legs off the bed before Elliot quietly came back in. Her anxiety quieted once he explained what Noah was doing.
She impulsively sauntered towards him and when she was close enough he pulled her in the rest of the way. She knew he was headed out for a run, but she wanted him to stay. She knew she should tell him that, speak out and explain the things she wants or needs, but she was pleasantly surprised when he informed her he was staying.
Her heart swelled for this man who was far from perfect, but perfect for her. He was giving up his time, the only time he took for himself, to make her son feel safe.
He took a step away, but she felt like she couldn't go one more minute without her lips on his and his hands on her body.
She felt the surprise tumble through him, but he enthusiastically complied with her not so subtle overture. She reached around him for the lock. Noah probably already passed out again on the couch, but just in case. She wanted this and she wanted no interruptions.
His hands moved roughly down her body before settling on her hips. He tugged her hips into his, and her mouth parted when an aroused sigh left her lips.
His tongue swept into her mouth, and her fingers fisted his tee shirt, dragging him backward. His body pressed against hers and his hands dipped beneath the waistband of her leggings, grabbing her ass. His forceful grip caused her to release his mouth with a low moan. She could feel his grin as he ran his tongue along her jaw and settled his lips on the space behind her ear. Her body throbbed as he sucked hard, nipping at the skin there. She knew he was leaving a mark, but it felt so damn good that she didn't care. She ran her hands over the planes of his chest and abs before lifting his shirt over his head.
She peppered kisses all over his toned chest as he moved his hands off her ass in favor of lifting her shirt and tossing it to the floor next to his.
Her heart pounded as she felt his eyes taking her in. He did this every time he saw her naked. It was as if he couldn't believe that she was real, that this was real.
His hands reverently brushed over the curves of her body, leaving trails of goosebumps in their wake. Once his hands completed their exploration, his lips trailed the same path, leaving her almost gasping.
His lips worked down to her belly button and slowly back up before he met her eyes with a grin. She smirked back as he lifted into his arms before crashing onto the bed. He kissed her soundly before he rolled her to her back, and she felt her hair spread behind her head against the bedsheets. He just watched her as she laid there bare and vulnerable. His hand ran the length of her arm before lacing his fingers through hers, holding it just above her head. He dipped down to kiss her, but she caught the look of complete adoration as his lips swept across hers.
Her hand reached for his cheek, and through his blue eyes she saw everything. Their entire life together. Thirteen years as partners. Thirteen years of knowing, without a doubt, someone had her back. Ten years of painful absence, and all the heartache they both experienced in the aftermath. His breathtaking return that bulldozed her life, and what she thought it would be. Then there were the little moments. These moments. The ones where he sacrificed his own well-being for her child…and for her. Through all of those moments, through all of the years, she loved him. Undeniably. Deeply. Tears filled her eyes when the words finally escaped her lips. The feelings she kept locked away for decades.
"I love you." And it was the truth. She loved him so damn much.
His lips fell on hers. Slowly. Sweetly. Perfectly. He pulled back to press his forehead to hers, lips glancing hers with every word, "I love you too. More than you could ever imagine."
-000-
Noah had been thrilled over the idea of going to breakfast, and as expected he invited Elliot along. Elliot graciously bowed out, citing work as an excuse. Noah seemed disappointed but not overly so. As both adults suspected, he needed some time with his mom.
"Did you have fun with Elliot and Kathleen yesterday?" Olivia asked as they settled into the booth.
He shrugged, "Yeah. It was more fun once we found out Colton was okay."
Olivia watched as he opened his mouth to say something, but closed it when he thought the better of it.
"What were you going to say, baby?"
He bit his lip and began pulling apart the paper napkin. "It's nothing."
Olivia felt her insides clench. Their relationship was open and honest. He rarely kept things back from her. She wanted to push, but she wasn't sure if she should. This week had been hell for all of them and she didn't want to force him to talk about anything he wasn't ready to talk about.
She waited for a moment, and his blue eyes glanced up from his napkin, grabbing hers. "Why did Colton run away? It scared everyone. Especially after the whole thing when we were camping. Why would he scare everyone like that?" His voice indicated a level of stress, fear and frustration that she could definitely understand.
She thought for a beat before answering, "He was feeling so overwhelmed that he felt like he needed to run away or he might explode."
Noah nodded and returned his focus to the napkin he was shredding to pieces. "But that didn't fix anything. It just scared everyone. I thought something really bad happened to him."
"You know I work with a lot of hurt people when I'm at work, everyone responds to trauma differently." She tried to explain. "Colton is really hurting inside. He probably thought running away would make it hurt less."
Noah continued to stare at his hands until the waitress came to take their order. After they handed their menus back to the woman, Olivia returned her attention to her son. She reached her hand and placed it over his so his hands would stop tearing up the brown paper napkin. "It will be okay. He's hurting a lot, but he has a good family who loves him and great friends like you."
He lifted his eyes to hers, "I just feel a little like I should help, but there isn't anything I can really do."
Olivia squeezed his hand, "Sometimes there isn't anything we can do. Some things we can't fix, but we can be there when our friends need us."
Noah nodded. "Elliot said the same thing." Olivia felt that now familiar swelling in her heart. "He said that all I can do is show him that I care about him, and still invite him to do stuff, even if he says no all the time."
"That's exactly right. One day he will be ready to face the world again and he will want to know that his friends are still there for him." She felt a wash of relief. It had always been up to her. Every parenting moment. Every crisis. She blinked back tears, hoping Noah wouldn't notice them. For years she did everything alone, but now she had her partner. For the first time in a long time someone had her back. Someone could lift her when she felt like she was stumbling. Someone who could provide the extra support her child so obviously wanted and needed.
As the waitress dropped their plates of food in front of them she snuck out her phone to send a quick text.
O: I love you. I wish it hadn't taken me so long to say it.
E: I love you too. You were worth the wait.
*I rewrote this a few times. I wanted it to sound a certain way, but I'm nervous about it. Did it come out okay? Also- THANK YOU for your amazing comments! I can't believe how kind so many of you are. You are all seriously amazing! *