I felt a longing for a fun, seafaring venture, so this will be a pirate-themed story, starring Jason Dimalanta! There will be a couple new crossovers, but the one I'll give spotlight to now is Pirates Next Door: a children's book by Jonny Duddle, later made into a cartoon series. The cartoon doesn't emphasize continuity or strong character development, but the characters are cute and it's good for occasional watching. But back to this story, the prior chapters "DRONERS" and "Gourmet Island Gathering" are recommended reading due to returning characters.

Dull-on-Sea was never anything remarkable. Though the view of the sea was nice, it was a plain seaside town you could find anywhere. Only three weeks ago did Dull-on-Sea gain a landmark worth some glances: the pirate ship perched atop the hill.

"Man, I don't like fractions." Matilda sighed, walking with her classmates out of the small school. Blonde with pigtails and freckles, Matilda was defined by a skull on her pink shirt and thick, furry, pink leg braces over striped socks and converses. "Just looking at them turns my brain into fractions."

"They're not that hard." Max smiled, a spectacled boy with a green hoodie and brown hair. "If you want, I can help you-"

"EYES UP, LUBBERS!" The trio started at the scurvy lad who sprung up on the fence, his wood sword cutting the air. A stark difference from the group's autumn attire, Jim Lad wore a red, spotted bandanna over his messy black hair, a shirt with blue and white stripes, a black sash with a skull over his short blue jeans, and stood barefoot. His traditional sailor's accent contrasted their more refined British speech as well. "It's time to start studyin'!"

"Right you are, Jim!" Alexia responded enthusiastically. She wore a purple dress over a brown leather vest. "We better study hard for tomorrow's exam!"

"No, I'm not talkin' about THAT rubbish! I'm talkin' about THIS!" The young pirate unraveled a ragged map.

"A treasure hunt?" Max asked.

"It ain't just treasure: it's directions to Scurvy Sands! You remember, right, Matilda?"

"Of course!" She remembered that summer trip fondly.

"Well, guess what? It's become the Start Line for this year's Dead Man's Race!" Jim spun the map around, revealing an invitation written in jet-black, old-timey ink.

"Dead Man's Race?" replied Max, the prospect of the name instilling terror.

"It's an annual tradition that's been in place for 15 years! Pirates compete in a treasure-hunting race to different, predetermined islands, collect treasure lain about by the contest runners, and try to make it back to port with the most treasure collected! It's normally meant for rookie pirates to earn their sea legs."

"Where are you going with this, Jim?" Matilda asked.

"WE'RE going to start practicing! It's rare they even start the contest on Earth when pirates use their fancy flying ships, but this will be my first year competing! And I wouldn't set sail without me mates."

"You mean you want US to compete in this race?" asked Alexia. "But we're landlubbers."

"Well, now's your chance to really step into the world of pirating! We've got to practice for treacherous waters, weather patterns, exploring wild environments, fishing!"

"When are they holding the race?"

"Next Thursday!"

"A week from now? I like playing pirate, but I'm not sure if I'm up for a race like that."

"Me neither." Max said. "Besides, we don't have time to play right now. We need to study for the test."

"We're not playing pirates, we're BEING pirates!"

"Well, maybe this weekend, we can have a safe, 'practice' race or something." Alexia suggested. "Anyhow, I should get home. Be seeing you, Jim!"

She and Max traveled separate directions, much to Jim's silent dismay. "…Well, what about you, Matilda?"

"It sounds fun, but… I'm not sure if my parents would-"

"Come on, a pirate doesn't worry about what parents think! 'Course, it helps if your parents are pirates, but you've gone sailing with us plenty of times! What's a little race? Even Grandpa would feel better about letting you on the ship if we do good."

"But I'm still not a proper pirate. I don't know if-"

"Hogwash, of course you are! You're just too used to the lubber life to really see it! But someday, I'm gonna become a big name pirate of me own, sail MORE than the Seven Seas, and I'd like a first mate I can rely on."

"Oh, Jim…" Matilda scratched her head sheepishly. She had been best friends with the junior pirate for 2 years, ever since they first docked at Dull-on-Sea to repair their ship… not at the dock, per se, but in the vacant house next door to Matilda's. The proper citizens of Dull-on were repulsed by the pirates' demeanor, but Matilda found an immediate kinship and fascination with them. When Jim temporarily enrolled in school, she was the only kid who wanted to sit next to him. After the Jolley-Rogers were able to set sail, Matilda and Jim kept in contact with letters in bottles. The Jolley-Rogers would take breaks from their adventures at sea and dock at Dull-on-Sea once in a while, treating the locals to more of their rude and erratic pirate shenanigans. By now, many had warmed up to the sardine-scented crew, including Max and Alexia.

Matilda would often be invited to voyages during their semi-annual visits, and would always be excited when Jim came to hang out. Still, Matilda never considered the thought of being a full-time pirate. She had certainly gotten used to his family's habits; the smell, the mildly dangerous activities, the occasional curse, and Grandpa trying to skewer her for climbing on the ship, but what would it be like to embrace that lifestyle fully?

Maybe she would find the answer on this race. What kinds of other pirates would be there? What danger could she expect from a race for rookies? Matilda wasn't sure, but she felt she'd be remiss to miss the activity. "I'll talk to my parents about it when I get home. But they'd want me to do well on the exam first, so I'd better study. Let's go home, Jim."

She led the way with a smile, followed by a bummed-out pirate. The vacant house next to Matilda's was always left available for the Blackhole to dock. The skull-shirted girl returned to her house while Jim trekked the boardwalk up to his deck. He was just in time to see Grandpa shoot a cannon down the other side. "Bring that mangy mutt near me hull again and I'll have his bones for toothpicks!" He seemed to be yelling at a dog-walker.

Grandad Jolley wore a blue coat, a black captain's hat, a short white beard, eyepatch, and hook on his right arm. Grandad had what was known as "Davy Jones Syndrome," or "landsickness": standing on land would render him ill, and it was for this reason he couldn't stand landlubbers aboard his vessel.

"Ain't no way they'd let a lubber in the Dead Man's Race." Grandad told Jim, taking a swig of grog. "A pirate's more than just the accent or the getup; if she don't have the heart for it, no way they'll let her have their gold."

"It just won't feel right without Matilda. I mean, if we score big in this race, we might have enough to afford a flight function, and everything else pirates use to fly to other worlds. And if we do that, we might not get to see her as much…"

"We don't need any of that newfangled stuff! All those space-faring pirates are sellouts! Signin' their souls under the Pirate Emperors or whoever else is rulin' up there. Pirates these days have no self-pride. And if you need a first mate, you have Patch and Nugget."

"AH-HARR!" The little sister in question, Nugget, sprung onto the deck, swinging a saw. "Any cur what passes us in Dead Man's Race is gettin' an extra peg!" The 5-year-old wore a light-purple overall-dress with a skull and striped socks, her thick black hair bundled by a headband. "Ain't that right, Patch?"

"Arf, arf!" A white, skinny, black-spotted dog with a peg-leg scampered up on deck, his long tongue hanging out.

"Ugh, my baby sister and a mutt can't be me first mates. It's…it's embarrassing!"

"Hmph! Suit yourself." Nugget huffed. "Patch can be MY first mate!"

"Ah well…" Jim took an available seat and gazed out at sea. "Hopefully, her parents agree to it. If not… well, there's sure to be other kids there, right? Who knows, maybe I'll find a new first mate." He smiled, optimistic at this idea. …Even so, there was something about the prospect that couldn't put him in bright spirits.

Thursday; November 3 (Play "Klomp's Romp" from Donkey Kong Country!)

Jason was always up to catch a dawning sun, but so long as he was outside, the young lad didn't mind catching up on sleep. The keel of his Young Sunny was as comfy as any bed in this crisp, salty weather. But though he rested well, his raccoon ears tingled in excitement over what lie across the horizon. …Or maybe it was due to the sound of distant cannonfire? "Jason! There's a fleet up ahead!" yelled his first mate, Isabelle.

The 11-year-old captain turned on his front, his blue eyes narrowing forward. Against the misty morning horizon, pirate ships begun to rise into being. "Hey, it must be the Prelim Fleet!"

"So, we gotta fight through them before we can make it to the race?" Ralph asked.

"Nah, you guys are gettin' the easy part!" Jason leapt into a seesaw-catapult. "Mali, give me a good fling over!"

"Hai!" The super-sized 6-year-old launched into the air with a Gas Rocket and smashed the opposite end with hefty force!

"YAHOOOOOO…!" The crewmates watched as their captain soared toward the fleet.

"Load me up, gang!" Isabelle jumped on. "He's not hogging all the fun!"

"This is gonna be a long trip, isn't it?" Laruta sighed.

"You keep making us exercise," Christina remarked, "so, you asked for this."

"Hooooh…"

Map 0: The Prelim Fleet

Destination: Scurvy Sands

"'ey, Tim." One of the pirates viewed through a telescope. "They just launched a cannonball of some sort." The spinning, curled-up projectile closed in on his magnified gaze. "But I can't tell what it—AAAH!"

The projectile in question lit up like a sun, the pirate reeling back from the sudden flash. Jason's impact to the bow caused the nearby pirates to bounce, leaving Jason to thwack them away with curved Light Fists. The crew on this ship consisted of Peg-leg Punks, all of whom would stretch their wood legs with forceful speed. Jason KO'ed the first two, but defeating the others didn't come without his insides bending from their blows. Jason repaid the favor with his own kicks, laced with light, and reckoned their insides wouldn't be sittin' right. Jason faced up and saw a rope linking the crow's nest to the next ship. He simply needed to climb the rigging—and evade the parrots who spat nuts with bullet speed. However, once atop the nest, he looked to one of the other sails and saw a treasure chest. Jason decided to jump over and collect its glittery contents before returning to zipline over to the next ship.

A squad of bulky, soft-armored pirates with blind eyes served to block Jason from anywhere else on the deck. The Blind Barties withstood his punches fairly well, and they knew to block their faces. Naturally, his light couldn't even blind them any further. "OOF." A barrel bounced off one of the Barties and landed beside Jason. "Hey, Captain, mind helping me out?"

"You bet ya!" Jason smashed the barrel open, his angel-winged first mate flipping upright. The notes of Isabelle's harp were music to the Barties' ears, but they had forgotten to protect their heads from Jason's fists. One more Bartie was blocking the doorway to the cabin; contrarily, he was a Deaf Dandy, with working eyes, but mute to Isabelle's music. He could withstand Jason's punches just the same, but the captain noticed the small window beside the door. After distracting Dandy with a punch that was blocked, Jason threw a roundabout Light Fist through the window and around to hit the back of Dandy's head, knocking him on his front before Jason stomped him senseless.

Down in the ship's cabin, the duo had to cross a room where cannonballs rolled to and fro from the ship swaying, jumping them carefully. Along the way, Jason retrieved whatever gems were strewn around the ground. "Make sure you collect whatever you can, Jason! The more points you have at the end of each level, the higher your rank will be! And that'll yield way to bonus levels!"

"We're already expecting Silica to make a game outta this?"

"She better!"

Either way, Jason wouldn't say 'no' to having a high score! Once past the cannon room, they jumped down to a lower room with a hole in the floor. The young pirates dove into the sea, swimming along a route between netting. The Bitesize that lurked within weren't a hindrance individually, but a large number of them threatened to nibble away to their bones. Some brief flashes of Jason's body would scare the school away, but he would reserve this power for the sake of his breath. The way into the next ship was protected by purple octopi, spinning like fans and rotating around the hole. Jason's spheres would be deflected by their spinning, so the crew had to carefully maneuver between. They could resurface inside this cabin for breath. "Phew! I've been brushing up on my swimming, but I can't exactly musicbend underwater."

"'Long as you swim faster than the fishes, Izzy!" They traveled one room up and crossed over a floor of standing barrels. They knew full well that enemies would spring out, but they casually passed through, feigning—"OUAH-OUAH!" Short pirates called Klobbers poked out of the barrels and tried to ram them, but a swift jump caused the pirates to bump each other. Jason and Isabelle danced atop their disheveled noggins and knocked the pirates back in. There was a side path covered in spikes, but Jason picked up and rolled a barrel down it, rolling down the curved slope to hit a switch. This dropped a chest in the room, the kids collecting its contents. In the following room, Jason and Isabelle could climb into a cannon and blast toward a longer ship. Octopus tentacles erected and began to rip the ship into pieces. The scattered pieces were close enough for Jason to tail-hover to it and Isabelle to Song Glide, but the octopus would smash those platforms if they stood too long.

"Dang it, Squiddicus, this isn't what we paid ye for!" Some pirates were being suspended and squeezed in the tentacles, but they made convenient platforms to cover the long distance to the back half of the ship. This half was fairly intact, but when tentacles tried to slap in Jason's way, a good punch forced them to retract. The stern was very tall with several layers of floors, and seemed filled with plenty pirates and treasures to—the octopus tugged against the broken front and flipped the ship 90 degrees. Several pirates took the fall, but others clung onto ropes hanging from the floors. These ropes served Jason and Isabelle in swinging "up" the stern, but sadly, Jason would spare no mercy for the pirates who were here to test them to begin with. Treasures rained into the sea, but the duo could only collect what they could in the midst of quick swinging.

However, the octopus was lurking beneath the "top" of the stern, its tentacles incoming. Isabelle gasped as a strange, long horn fell from the cabin and splashed in the water, its reed close to the Shandian. The musician put her mouth to the reed and blew, her Sound Chi rippling the waves and scaring the octopus away! The stern began to rotate back upright, allowing the duo to stand on the top floor. From here, a string of Helihooks led closer to shore: Jason could latch Light Chains to the floating hooks and swing them, Isabelle holding onto him. The hooks led above a column of floating rings, albeit improperly aligned, but by maneuvering and diving through all of them, they'd be awarded a chest! …They missed one, so no.

The shores of Scurvy Sands drawing near, a waving flagpole in the center, the duo jumped large, floating barrels. However, they barely saw the TNT labels on the sides of some, so Jason preemptively punched them, ridding their threat with explosions. Similarly, small Warships fired cannonballs, threatening to sink the barrels. "Hey, Jason, looks like you already got some fans lined up!"

A crowd of scurvy sailors lined the targeted shore, roaring for the reckless rascals. "'ey, these rookies look promising!"

"Doesn't that boy look like…"

"Didn't they bring a ship?"

They'd have to jump up escalating stacks of floating barrels to reach the top of the flagpole. Unfortunately, Jason misaimed a jump and would up clinging the edge of the top barrel, his weight causing the stack to topple over with a splash. "Noooo!"

"Jason!" Isabelle dove underneath to check his safety, helping Jason surface and swim to shore. Sadly, they could only jump to grab the middle of the pole. "Arrrr, too bad, lad! Ya missed the top!"

"No Gold Flag for you, ha har!"

"No fair! I want a do-over!" Jason whined.

"Relax, Jason! You said as long as we reach the Goal Flag, we qualify for the race, right?"

"I know…" The captain sat in a huff. "But I wanted a Gold Flag." (End song.)

"Wot's the Dead Man Race, Mum?" asked a curious, 7-year-old Jason, a band-aid over his recently-scraped left knee.

"Sort of a rite of initiation for pirates." answered Sheila Dimalanta. Tall and sloppily-dressed, her cleavage and belly hung from her torn green top, and her thick legs were nearly ripping through her tight shorts. Her black hair hung like a messy, asymmetrical curtain she was too lazy to fix, and she bore the huge ears and tail expected of a mother raccoon, far dwarfing Jason's child-sized variants. "Each crew gets a compass to different islands and race for the most gold! And whoever wins gets to ask anything of the loser crews!"

"Is it the same as that Davy Contest or something?"

"The Davy Back Fight, and yeah. The same rules apply. The Dead Man's Race was made 9 years ago, ta help encourage and inspire rookie pirates and give 'em their first taste of infamy. They don't accept pro pirates like me or that candy-bred drongo, o' course, but I'd itch to see you makin' waves!"

"Haha, orright! When's the race?!"

"Too early for you, lad!" Sheila plopped the butt of her soda bottle atop his head.

"Huh?! Then why're you telling me?"

"It's your reward for makin' it in KND. You're officially cap'n of a crew now, but I want you to spend a few years bustin' them in. They weren't raised like pirates, so you need to show them the ropes! And the sails. And when you think they're ripe, I'll point ya to where the race is taking place."

"Are you gonna give me something super cool if I win?!"

"I might 'ave a prize waiting for ya. But the most important thing is to have a great crew to sail with! I'm lettin' ya know if you ever wanna do the race someday, but your first job is bein' a good captain to your new crew. Orright, Jason?"

"Me hair's gettin' all sticky!"

"I'll take that as a yes!" A few hair strands were removed when Sheila raised the large bottle back to her lips.

Jason felt right at home in this salty environment! Scurvy Sands was a pirates-only town, free from outside law. Jason could practically smell the tradition in the air, from the palm trees, the homes built from salvaged wood of sunken ships, and of course all the colorful, roguish locals. "Holililili!" laughed a portly pirate with a fluffy brown beard and red hat. "Rookies don't get more qualified than that, young man! Swingin' and jumpin' through our fleet, nary a ship in hand! I don't quite reckon it'll get ya far in the contest though."

"Keep your beard on, matey, me ship's on its way. Oi just get a little impatient is all."

"Nuffin' wrong with that! My name's Cap'n Ollie Day, the mayor of this 'ere town! I be workin' with the Contest Crew for this year's showdown." His badge indicated such… the C's on the badge seemed to have been drawn over K's. Spelling errors were common with pirates, the two could agree. "Just flip a doubloon in the sea, and the compass be yours. Until we boom the cannon, have yerself a merry tour."

"Ah, we got a rhymer here." Isabelle grinned. Jason retrieved a single doubloon and flicked it into the ocean. This was another tradition to pirate contests; the doubloons were allegedly offered to Davy Jones as a seal of agreement. "…OH, OLLIE DAY! I get it now, that's pretty clever."

"Ooooiiii! Nice jumpin', Jason and Izzy!" Shimmy's big-mouthed vocals resounded as the Young Sunny dropped anchor.

"Could've saved a few more ships for us!" Christina Uno shouted.

…

The Cruncher Club playground was just as Jim Lad remembered. The same junior scallywags still made base here, plus several dozen extras, visiting for the big race. "Lookie there! It's Jolley Jim and Li'l Nugget!" Cursed Katie alerted.

"Ahoy, Jim! Didju bring that lubber girl with the pink shirt?"

Their questions only deepened Jim's sadness. He had no good answer for them… He had no first mate.

"I'm sorry, Jim." Matilda said regretfully. "My parents don't think it's a very safe idea. And I got a 'B-' on the test, so they don't want me to miss out on any school."

"So, what?! I got a 'D+' and my folks aren't complaining!"

"I know… but, we always have our boat races, right? And I could always go on another trip with you next summer or something."

"But, I…it won't be as fun without you."

"I'm sure you'll have plenty of fun. I don't want you to miss this race for me. Just go and… have enough fun for both of us."

"Sigh…all right."

"Ah'm sorry to hear that, Jim." A girl with a backwards cap and eyepatched glasses said.

"Thanks, Gurdy. I don't suppose any of you'd wanna board my ship?"

"I ain't takin' the risk this year, Jim." replied a boy with a black bandanna. "I hears one of the crews competin' is from an Emperor's ship."

"But they wouldn't let an Emperor compete!"

"No, it's a ship full of apprentices. They's over there, see?"

A few yards away from the playground, "Jack of All Trades" Fizzuras had carried his baby sister to a band of children. "But Nel wants to race with Big Bro Jackie!" cried the 5-year-old with the oversized blouse. "Why Nel have to go with Gabi Gang?"

"'Cause I'm too big to be sailing in a rookie's race! But if you do good, you'll officially earn a place on my ship, kiddo."

"And I get to be Captain Augustus' personal cabin girl, right?!" exclaimed Gabi, the brown-haired captain.

"Only if you come in first, he says."

"Heh, leave it to him to only expect the very best! But I'm up for it!"

"It'd be a lot easier if we had Emma." said Gilda, a dark-green-haired girl with glasses and a white coat.

"We'd have an unfair advantage then." Don replied. "I think Gabi wants to win with her own skills."

"Best watch out for that one, Jim." The eyepatched girl said. "Gabi don't pull her punches. She stabbed a lot of Contest Crewmen."

"I'll slice her leg off!" Nugget hissed, swinging her saw.

"Please give me that, Nugget." Jim swapped her saw out with a wooden sword, to her chagrin. "Might as well review the rest of the competition."

There was another band of child pirates captained by a boy named Jake. A band of grown-up, more criminal-looking pirates were resting on a more modern-style ship, the Black Lagoon. Jim was especially afraid of the purple-haired woman and the huge, dark-skinned man. Jim saw a trio of tan-skinned kids further ahead, and their captain seemed to be a girl with dreads. However, he was particularly intrigued by the green and brownish, eyepatched, glowing creature floating around them.

Thinking these kids looked good for making mates with, Jim approached them. It was then the shortest kid, Shark, seemed to point Jim's direction with a gasp, prompting his captain, Max, to spin around. "OH! IT'S YOU!"

"M-Me?" Jim perked in surprise. The girl was jogging his direction… Jim had no idea who she was, but was he somehow famous. "Ah, it's very nice to meet-" The girl dodged around Jim and kept running, "…you?"

Wondering whom she actually had her eye on, Jim turned. "Captain Jason! I was wondering when you'd come!"

It was a boy with tan skin, blue shorts, an open green vest with matching sandals, and a raccoon's tail and ears. "HEY, MAX!" Jason locked hands with the Shorescrubber captain as they jumped in unison.

"Ahhhhhhh, so you're heeeeere." Isabelle drawled out.

"Yep! Professor Whale gave his approval and let me come. The other Droners couldn't come, unfortunately."

"So, it's just the three of you racing? You sure you'll be alright? You do know you'll lose something to whoever comes in first, right?"

"Now that you bring that up," Laruta Grayson approached from behind, "isn't that a point of… concern? If we don't win, couldn't the winner take one of our teammates?"

"It's just an 'honor' thing, snotty!" remarked Shark! "You don't have to give up somethin' you don't want to."

"But if we win," Max said, "maybe I'll take… your harp."

"OVER MY DEAD WINGS!" Isabelle screamed.

"Kidding, I'm kidding! I got something else in mind, anyway."

"OH YEAH, WHAT?!"

"Hey, you." The kids turned to Jim and Nugget, the siblings glaring skeptically. "You're awfully popular, aren't you?"

"Uh, I guess so." Jason shrugged.

"But you don't look much older than me. Who even are you?"

"Ah'm Jason. The Rising Sun."

"Ooo, how fancy. Well, I'm Jim! The…the, uh…the Toothless!"

"That's it?" asked Isabelle. "I've seen about 50 pirates here who are toothless."

"Th-they were inspired by me! And at least I didn't pick a fancy nickname to sound cool!"

"Hey, Jason's more than a fancy nickname!" Max argued. "This guy is-"

Jason slapped her mouth shut. "Ixnay on that, eh? Mum says not to use her name to make me popular."

"Oh…got ya."

"I mean, people are gonna notice the resemblance." Isabelle whispered.

"What's all the whispering?" Jim smirked. "Embarrassing secrets?"

"And this don't even look like a crew!" Nugget expressed. "She looks like she was raised in a forest," she indicated Isabelle, "and SHE looks like you swiped her from the candy store!" At Laruta.

"What does THAT mean?!" the gymnast huffed.

"This ain't even me whole crew." Jason said. "Look, there's another one."

"Jason!" The ground thudded as Mali came jogging. "Do you want anything from the Seasalt Candy Shop? …Oh! You guys were Mouse's friends!" She beamed at the Shorescrubbers. "But who are these two?"

Jim and Nugget fell speechless before the titan tyke. "Uhhhh…" Nugget was often annoyed for being treated like a child… but seeing such a well-grown child made her simply inferior. "Jim, can I have my saw back?" Her tiny wooden sword wouldn't do much to Mali's thick ankles.

"OI! Step away from me grandson, you ogre!" Grandad Jolley came trudging over in a pair of water buckets.

"Grandpa?! What're you doing off the ship?"

"I just remembered we were out of me favorite grog! Had to tell yer mum ta get some… wait…SNIFF, SNIFF! That smell!" He trudged up to Laruta and took a, "SNIIIIFF! Gym sweat!"

"Excuse me?!" Laruta shouted.

He sniffed Isabelle, "SNIIIIFF…tree bark!"

"Yes, your point?"

"And," he "SNIIIIFF"ed Mali, "…Sweet Soap Perfume?!"

"My mommy got it for me!"

Sucking in a horrific gasp, Grandad reeled back. "LLLLLAAAAAAANDLUBBEEEERRRRS!"

His gruff-voiced bellow attracted the gaze of several locals. "Sheesh, who ordered the angry old man?" asked Christina, she and the other Raccoon Crew approaching with candy in hand.

"YOU!" Grandad thrusted a finger at Jason. "Don't be tellin' me these landlubbers are your crew!"

"Uhhh…kind of?"

"OBJECTION! PARLEY! These runts can't run in the race! They don't have an ounce of pirate in them! They're just here to score some easy cash!"

"That raccoon boy's crew?" one pirate asked.

"I didn't think they looked like pirates…" a big-nosed one said. Though a pirate was more than just dressing like one, they really only gave off the impression of school children.

BOOM! Louder and more relevant than an old man's ramblings, the pirates redirected their attention to a towering stage.

"ARRRRRR!" Atop the stage was the Contest Captain, Blackeyes (from Banjo-Tooie). Very old with a shaved beard, grey hair, and twin eyepatches, he wore a red coat, yellow neckerchief, striped pants, and black boots. It wasn't just the stage that made him look tall: though he was hunched, propped up with a thick cane, the withered pirate stood 11 feet tall. "Cough, cough, karr! I hope ye've had yer fill of land grub, lads and lasses! It be time to start the 13th annual Dead Man's Race! What fresh blood waits to get riled? What rookies aim to impress? Oi wouldn't know! I've been blind fer 30 years! But me Haki's still fresh, and I sense lots o' fresh talent! Make sure all ye rigorous racers have gotten your compasses if ya haven't, yet, and I'll explain the rules of the race (cough).

"Each crew will follow their compass to a predesignated island. We've scattered plenty o' gold and gems from both our generous and involuntarily donators, and yer job be to collect as much as ye can and return right here. Each island will have another compass hidden somewhere that will take ye to the next island, and so you'll go on for four islands until you're guided back here. But here's the kicker: some of your routes are intertwined with other racers. Which means you'll be havin' to fight fer rights to the compass. If you lose your compass, run up shipwrecked, or should any disaster befall you, ye can kiss your chances of victory good-bye. Now, I'm sure most of yer ships have been modified to fly, but we'll have none of that here. Yer ships must remain on whatever sea ye landed on, or yer disqualified. Same if you call in help from any outside parties! We'll know. Are we in accord? Any questions or parleys?"

"PARLEEEEEEEEEEEY!"

"Ah?" Blackeyes "glared" in the direction of the elderly bellow. "Well, what's this about?" The pirate climbed aboard a small saucer and soared down to the source. Once above the Raccoon Pirates and their acquaintances, Blackeyes slipped out and landed on the ground with a thud. They were astonished by how huge he actually was. "Who dare invoke the parley?!"

"I did, Sir Blackeyes!" Grandad said. "These young'uns are unqualified for the race! They're landlubbers, here to reap our riches!"

"Bug off, old man!" Christina pushed him down. "We're as free as any pirate here!"

"HEY!" Jim ran to hold him up, the man beginning to cough and turn green. "Grandad has landsickness, you wench!"

"Landsickness?!" Laruta hadn't heard of such an odd disease.

"Ratface Rodney, fetch this man a full barrel, quickly!" Blackeyes ordered.

"Comin', Captain!" The toucan-nosed pirate quickly trudged up with a barrel in his arms.

"H-Hold still, Ojīchan." Though Mali was confused, the child was ready to help, reaching for the sickly man.

"HEY!" Nugget jumped in the way, her wood sword raised. "Keep your fingers off me grandad or I'll slice them like sausages!"

"Ahh!" Mali flinched back. "I'm sorry! Please don't!"

"Move it, shrimp!" Christina rudely kicked Nugget aside, hoisted Grandad up, and splashed him in the barrel.

"HUAH, huff, huff…" The elder resurfaced, his colors restored. "Thank ya, lassie… As I was saying, BAN THESE LUBBERS AT ONCE!"

The Raccoons groaned at his stubbornness. Though Jim wasn't immediately fond of them, nor did he respect Chris's demeanor… he felt a little bad about Grandpa's outburst. When Matilda first came here, the locals distrusted the views of a landlubber. They might be having this same argument if she could make it to the race. Jason's crewmates completely smelled like lubbers, but maybe they were only here to have a good time and embrace the art of pirates. And in the end, wasn't that all that mattered?

"Arr-arr-arr!" Blackeyes laughed. "At least these lasses have a sense of honor! But it be true we can't just let any sailor claim the name o' pirates. Easy way for law-abiding hoodlums to earn a quick buck. I'll have to consult with me maties to see if you're-"

"SCREE! SCREE!"

"Speak of the devil." A dark-red parrot with glaring yellow eyes flapped down, landing on Blackeyes' broad shoulder. "Screech, what do you make of these…" The parrot put its beak to Blackeyes' ear. "S-Say again." He whispered. "They're who?"

"KND operatives. That boy looks just like the Sunny Fist. So, the rest of them must be…"

Isabelle tried to focus her hearing to only listen to them amongst all the other murmurs. "I see…er, I hear. Then what should I…"

"Let them race. My brother may be… interested."

"Aye…" Blackeyes faced the band of confused kids. "It's decided… the Raccoon Pirates will be allowed to race!"

"YES!" Max fist-pumped.

"Phew, I was worried for a minute!" Christina said. "And you owe me, Gramps!"

"Ye done nearly killed me to begin with!"

"Yeah, and if our courses cross, we'll be killin' ya again!" Jason vowed.

"Er, hey, Jason…" Jim Lad began sheepishly. "I'm… sorry we caused you trouble. Truth be told, me own mates couldn't come, so I'm sort of stuck sailing with my family. Ah'm seein' all these other rookies already sailing on their own, and you've got a heck of a crew yourself, so…sigh, I'm startin' to think I'm not cut out for this race."

"If that's how ya feel, go ahead and drop out."

"Wot?!" Jim was stunned by his honesty.

"I mean, Oi wouldn't wanna be stuck with my family!" The Faunus grinned. "It's way more fun to be in charge of your own crew! If you don't got the right mates to sail with, ya might as well be fish bait!"

"Nnnh…" This boy was just bursting with confidence, Jim could tell. In charge of his own crew of peers, not standing in the shadow of his parents, whatever kind of pirates they were. …Jim couldn't stand to be in this kid's light.

"Kids! Dad! There you are!" Mr. and Mrs. Jolley-Roger returned with armfuls of crates. "We're all stocked up! Ready to-"

"DAD!" Jim outbursted, the lad pulsing with courage and anxiety. "I…I want to be Captain in this race!"

"Jim?"

"Yeah!" He threw a finger at Jason. "And we're gonna do better than you! You hear me?!"

Jason had no idea who this kid was… but he excited him. Jason offered a sunny fist and said, "May the best pirate win!"

"Hm…" Accepting the show of respect, Jim punched his fist—"Ow! What're your bones made of?"

"Ah ha ha!" Mr. Jolley chortled. "Alright, Jim! The helm's all yours!"

"Awe, it's so cute to see little rookies makin' friends!" A pair of hands slapped on the heads of either boy.

"Oi, it's you!" Jim exclaimed.

"JACK?!" Jason glared up at the orange-haired teenager.

"Yo, Jack!" Ralph greeted with a wave.

"Oh, I think I've seen him!" Max said. "Jason, you never mentioned you knew Jack of All Trades! Word is he's the most popular rookie in the community!"

"Why would I mention this second-rate pirate?! Don't tell me YOU'RE in the race?!" Jason smacked him off.

"Nah, I outgrew this sport! Just here to support my little sis. But it's cute to see you boyos into this!"

"Grrrrrr!" Jason and Jim found something to bond over: mutual hatred for this man.

"OH, you should've seen Jack on HIS first race!" It was then an even taller woman, 8 feet with horns and white hair, lowered her arms under Jack's chin and pressed him to her chest. We wound up in this cyclone and the poor boy peed his pants! He's lucky I remembered to pack spares!"

"YAMATO, NOW IS NOT THE TIME!" Alas, it was too late as the kids pored into him with snickering sneers. "Uh…let's call this convo a draw."

Blackeyes took his seat at a captain's table, smirking. "Aye, these rookies seem mighty promising… This is sure to be a fruitful race. All crews, to your ships! Ye'll be shovin' off on the 7th hour!"

Jason, Jim, and Max wished each other luck and marched off. "U-Um…I hope we get to be friends later." Mali told the pouty Nugget. "My name's Mali. What's yours?"

"YIK!" She whipped around, scaring the giant. "…Nugget. DON'T you FORGET it." And off she stomped.

"Gulp…hehehe! Nugget! Okay!" Her name befitted her size cutely.

The ships lined up between the starting buoys. "Ready, Raccoons?!"

"I hope you're sure about this, Jason." Laruta sighed. "…Isabelle, is something wrong?"

The Shandian had been quiet and stoic ever since Blackeyes' approval. She only barely heard what that parrot whispered… but she couldn't determine what they were plotting. "Actually, Lar, I-"

BOOM!

"LET'S GOOOOOO!"

The concern was moot when the starting gun banged. Ralph lowered the sails and Shimmy stomped the rudder before they would meet the waves of the rival ships. But, as they each began to follow the arrows of their compasses, the ships spread to different directions. "Hee hee hee!" After the sequential crises of the Mamodo and vampires, their captain was thrilled to be on a proper adventure. The Raccoons weren't abject to his joy, and could only hope the rest of the KND wouldn't need them. "…Huh?" They were sailing directly toward a vortex of wind. "Anyone know what this is?"

"Yo, look at the other ships!" Ralph pointed. It seemed they had come upon their own vortexes, and were consequently whisked to the sky within tunnels of wind.

"There they go, racing fans!" yelled a big-mouthed announcer, riding a giant bird. "The rookies had taken off in the Dead Man's Sky Tunnels! Every year since before the first race, these unusual tunnels appear around the universe, connecting to random oceans and islands! Our contest founders learned to track their arrivals and paths, and have since been used as the foundation for this very contest! Our specially made compasses will direct you to each vortex, followed by its nearest island! You'll never know which ocean on which world you'll wind up in, so gooooood LUCK!"

"WHOOOOAAAAAAAA!" The Raccoons would swiftly understand this purpose as they zipped off into the heavens. Strangely, a barrier of air was bent so they wouldn't go blowing off, but they still needed to hold their stomachs in. They didn't seem to leave the atmosphere, but only time would tell where they would land. "Hah, this is better than I thought! I wonder if we'll land on the Sky Sea! Or even under the ocean! Inside a cyclone?! Or maybe-"

What surrounded the operatives was frigid cold, a starlit sky… and miles of sand. "WHAT THE-?! WHY ARE WE IN A DESERT?!"

A tumbleweed breezed in the chilly wind as if to affirm his surprise. "I guess it's technically an ocean." Isabelle figured. Mali was already bundling up with Trella in the intense air.