A/N: I am going to delve into my obsession with Polin here. I've read the books. I've watched the series. Excited to see what the do with Season 3 and the story of Colin and Penelope! This will show Penelope, Colin, and Eloise's perspective.

"I am not courting Penelope Featherington; not in your wildest dreams Fife!"

She shoots up from her nightmare; gasping for air and shaking. Not only had Eloise found her hidden compartment in her floor, but then she overhears Colin, the man she has been in love with (although unrequited) for the last few years, laughing with his buddies about her. She knew she was no beauty, she was overweight by the tons standards, and unpopular, but she'd always felt well-liked around the Bridgerton's. And only moments before, Colin had told how much he cherished their friendship and felt very protective of her. How silly of her to think him sincere.

She got up and looked over her latest scandal sheet. She would send it off to the printers first thing in the morning. Penelope was taking control over her life. Her mother had been bamboozled by their father's cousin, Jack. They would be destitute if she hadn't thought to contact her solicitor to set up a trust for them. They would think it was a forgotten account that their father had set up for his daughter's dowries. Sure, it was taking a chunk of her Lady Whistledown earnings, but she had more than enough.

ooooooooo

1814 May 20

Dearest Reader,

My, my! What a night it was at the Featherington Ball this past Saturday my lovelies!

Not only was the current Lord Featherington exposed as a thief and a liar, but he seemed to have made off with half of societies money as he fled to America! This leaves Prudence Featherington a single young lady once more.

And dear reader, the eldest Featherington daughter was slighted and left by her fiancé, as the youngest, Penelope (in butter yellow once again) was seen fleeing in tears after Mister Colin Bridgerton was overheard declaring that he was not currently and never will court the poor girl. Time to find a different wall to hang on, Miss Featherington!

In other more happy news the Viscount and his intended are planning a small party to celebrate their upcoming nuptials. Her sister Edwina, this season's diamond seems to have found a good friend in our Queen, and is being courted by none other than Queen Charlotte's nephew Prince Friedrich.

One last ball, my dears, and the season closes! One last write-up from yours truly, then I hide away at my seaside retreat until October then we see which new beauty will be chosen the illustrious title of the Diamond of the First Water! Til next time!

~Lady Whistledown~

Colin watched as his mother read the latest edition of the gossip rag everyone in the Ton was obsessed with. She gasped, paled, and then he heard her say, "Oh, Colin. Tell me you didn't say this!" He saw her looking at him, a horrified expression on her face. He walked over and grabbed the scandal sheet. Finding his name, he read what it said, suddenly feeling weak in the knees. He stumbled then fell onto the settee next to his mother.

"Fife and some others were ribbing me. Asking if I was pursuing Pen. I, I didn't know she was there." He felt as if he were going to be sick.

"You've made a horrible mistake, Colin. Do you have any idea what this will do to her reputation? You've made her a pariah in society. You've basically told all of London that Penelope is not worthy of being courted, of being loved!" The door to the parlour opened and Eloise stepped into the room.

She took one look at her mother and Colin and knew something was wrong. Had something happened after she left the ball? That's when she saw the latest Whistledown in her brother's hands. "Oh, what has that woman written now!" She exclaimed as she tore it from her brother's grasp.

"...the youngest, Penelope (in butter yellow once again) was seen fleeing in tears after Mister Colin Bridgerton was overheard declaring that he was not currently and never will court the poor girl. Time to find a different wall to hang on, Miss Featherington!"

She clamped her hand over her mouth. Her eyes found her brother's, "How could you? You're despicable! You utter bastard!" She crumpled up the paper and threw it at him.

"Eloise! Language!" Violet was appalled.

Her daughter apologised, "Sorry, ma'am," She gave one last disgusted look at her brother before leaving. Sure, she was mad at Pen for lying to her but she was still her best friend. Reading between the lines and now with the knowledge of her friends secret identity, she could tell that Penelope was devastated. She had to go to her!

Colin had gone to the florist and was walking to the Featherington's with a bouquet of Lily of the Valley in his hand. He saw his sister, run from the house and back to theirs. Thinking nothing of it, he made his way up the steps and rang the bell.

"May I help you, Mister Bridgerton?" Mrs. Varley asked in a cold voice. She looked at his disdainfully and he couldn't blame her.

"Erm, uh, yes. Is Miss Penelope available to receive me? I was hoping to have an audience with her." He tried to peak up the stairs but couldn't see anyone.

"I'm sorry but she is not seeing anyone at the moment. If you leave your card, I will tell her you stopped by." She said in that same wooden voice.

"Please, I just need to apologise." He pushed past the woman and rushed up the steps, ignoring the woman's shouting. "Pen! Pen! Please!" He shouted as he rushed into the drawing room but saw nobody. He ran down the hallway shouting for her once again. And then the door at the end of the hall opened and she was there.

"Go away, Mister Bridgerton." She said it, her voice hoarse. She slowly closed her door but before it closed all the way, he shouldered his way into her room, shocking her.

Locking the door, he dropped to his knees. "Please Pen, I'm so sorry! I did not mean to hurt you. You're my best friend. Please forgive me." He looked up and could tell she was conflicted.

"No." She turned away. "Please, just leave." Colin felt his heart constrict in his chest. He stood up and walked until he was against her back. He could see her tense up. He knew he shouldn't. He hadn't the right, but he couldn't help himself. He lightly touched the soft, creamy skin of her arms.

"I can't just leave. Not with you cross at me." He stroked her and watching as her skin erupted in goosebumps. "Penelope, please look at me. I need to look into your eyes."

She covered her face with her hands and shook it 'no.' Then she started to sob. "Leave." He heard her choke out. "I don't want to see you. Please just forget you ever knew me. I want to be alone. I might as well get used to it, don't you think?" Then she stepped away and unlocked her door. Mrs. Varley was there with one of the footmen.

He tried to catch her eye, but she hid her face. Colin had truly fucked up. He left the flowers on her desk and walked out, apologising once more before descending the stairs and leaving. He heard one more agonising cry before closing the door. He had to get her back, but how?

1814 May 27

Dearest Reader,

The last ball of this season was fraught with tension! The Featherington's kept to themselves for the most part but surprisingly, the youngest was all over the dance floor. One male decidedly not on Miss Penelope's dance card - Mister Colin Bridgerton!

His sister, Miss Eloise Bridgerton was shining in a pale blue number that had many male suitors vying for her attention.

Another tense moment came when Lord Fife and another gentleman, Mister Harry Dankworth, fought over the final dance of the night with Miss Penelope Featherington to many of the tons shock! Seems the royal blue gown she wore had caught many a man's eye!

And let us not forget the biggest shock of all my dear ones, the engagement announcement of Edwina Sharma to the Prussian Prince, Friedrich! It was love at first sight for the couple after all! My ears picked up on Miss Sharma's hopes for a Christmas wedding! Oh, to be sure, this will be the event of the year!

And so I say, my dear readers, I am taking a well-earned holiday! Enjoy yourselves and I'll be watching...

~ Lady Whistledown ~

Pen,

This will be my last letter for a while. I have decided to go away for some time. My heart is sore. My mind, a wasteland of agonising thoughts. Again, I write to apologise for the thoughtless words you overheard at your mother's ball. What you must think of me! I haven't been able to function these last few weeks knowing that I hurt you, my sweet Penelope. You are so dear to me. My best friend. Why I said what I said, I cannot fathom.

Because, my sweet Penelope, it just is not true. I could court you. I would court you. You are witty and kind, sweet tempered (for the most part any way), and beautiful. So beautiful, Pen. Why it took me losing you forever to figure that out, I do not know, but I know it now. I will win you back. My heart is yours.

~Colin~

He read the letter one last time. The past few weeks had been quite the wake-up call for Colin Bridgerton. He'd hurt the person he held the highest esteem for. The more he thought about her, the more he began to realise that he, Colin Bridgerton, was in love with Penelope Featherington. Until she wrote back, he would keep thinking of ways to earn back her favour.

The family had gone back to Aubrey Hall and it was decided that he should go away. His mother was still upset with him and Eloise? Eloise would not speak to him. He'd hurt her best friend. The night of the Dearborn's ball a couple weeks ago showed him just how much he had fucked up.

Penelope arrived with her mother, her sister Prudence, her sister Philippa and her husband Albion Finch. The moment he saw her in the dark blue dress, her fiery red hair up in a fancy hairstyle that showed off her slender neck and ample bosom, he felt all of the air leave his body.

Colin immediately made his way towards her, but found Lord Fife and three other men surround the group. Lord Fife, Mister Dankworth, Mister Anderson, and Lord Debling had apparently filled her dance card because once they finally left, Colin asked for a dance and was refused. Portia Featherington, herself had informed him of that because his Pen would not even look at him.

He tried talking to her again at the refreshments but was given the cold shoulder once again. Colin had become so desperate to hear her sweet voice that he had lowered himself to eavesdropping on her conversations with the men surrounding her that evening.

Dankworth seemed a bit simple for Penelope. He was nice enough, but he couldn't hold much of a conversation with the quick witted Pen.

Anderson was smooth, calculating. He had complimented Penelope to the point of making her face blush so prettily. It made Colin uncomfortable. Her little giggle, hearing some other man make her laugh, made him nauseous.

Lord Fife and Lord Debling showered her with praise of her dancing skills. Lord Fife eyed her up as if she were his next meal, making Colin want to punch him square in the jaw. Debling though? He asked Penelope if she would write him, him! When she agreed, that hurt him the most.

"When do you leave?" The sudden sound of someone talking to him shook him from his thoughts. He looked over and saw Eloise.

"What?" He asked, unsure of what she had asked him.

She huffed and put her hand on her hip. "I said, when are you leaving?" It should not have stung as much as it did, but the unfeeling way of which she asked hurt Colin.

"In two hours. I'll be going to Scotland for five weeks." She nodded then grabbed a croissant and a cup of tea for herself. "Have you heard from Penelope?" Eloise narrowed her eyes at him.

"I have. She is moving on with her life. She has officially decided to forget about you and move on. She has four gentlemen writing her. The ones from the Dearborn's Ball. Fife is one of your friends, isn't he?" She was going to forget about him? What the hell does that mean?

"What do you mean, forget about me? How? I know I messed up, but for God's sake! She's my best friend! And I love, oh forget it! And Fife? Fife is a scoundrel! Keep him far away from her!" Colin fell back into an armchair then put his head in his hands. "El, please! You must help me! I cannot stop thinking about what I did. She won't even spare me a glance! Not one letter I have written has been responded too! I need her back! I cannot function without her in my life!"

His tear filled eyes met his sisters. The desperation and hurt in his emerald stare did her in. "Fine." He audibly sobbed out a thank you before hiding his face in his hands. A few moments of silence went by and she watched her brother trying to get his emotions back under control. Then it hit her! "Oh! Oh God!" She huffed out a laugh. Colin looked up at her, smiling at her brother and shaking her head. "You didn't even realise it, did you?"

"Realise what? What the hell are you on about?" He was annoyed at her cryptic words. "What?"

"You're in love with Penelope!" Well...fuck!

Penelope put down her latest letter from Colin. How was she supposed to take that? His heart is mine? No, she must be strong. She had to get over him. She'd been writing a few gentlemen. They were well to do; two lords, a second son and a fourth son. Her mother Portia had been surprised by the attention her youngest daughter was finally receiving. It helped that Prudence had been finally captured by a young man of well means, Mister Francis Albatross, the son of a barrister in Falmouth. They had met last week in town and hit it off. It helped that they each now had sizeable dowries (thanks to Lady Whistledown).

Her latest letter from Lord Fife paled in comparison to Colin's letter. Fife praised her looks. Called her divine and eloquent. A goddess he wanted to worship. He was a bit forward.

Lord Debling was no better and had terrible penmanship. He talked of how he saw her as the future Lady Debling. Promised her wealth and frivolities that she had no interest in. He was also very enamoured with her bosom and had zero qualms about telling her so. His letters were private, and she may have gone a little too far in her words responding to it for the following day a large bouquet of flowers arrived with one word.

Minx!

"Miss Penelope? A letter arrived for you." Mrs. Varley came into the parlour where Penelope had been sitting with her mother while Prudence was away visiting their sister at her home in Dorchester.

"Thank you, Mrs. Varley." She politely said as she took the envelope. "Oh! It's from Eloise!" She smiled at the sight of her dearest friend's writing.

My dearest Pen,

Aubrey Hall is so lonely with just momma, Hyacinth, Gregory and I. Benedict is staying at My Cottage for the summer. Colin is off finding himself in Scotland. Francesca is staying with our cousins in Nottingham and everyone else is too busy being in love and making babies.

Momma says that it would be wonderful for our sweet Penelope to come stay with us for a few weeks! What do you think? We can send the carriage for you as soon as you respond! Please, please, please! Come save my sanity!

Yours,

Eloise

"Mama, Eloise and her mother invited me to stay with them in Aubrey Hall. Can I?" Portia put her hand out for the letter and read it with a pinched expression.

"I see that son of Violet's left the country. Good luck to her ever finding someone willing to marry him after he used you so sorely." Penelope blushed. She made it sound as if he'd taken liberties with her instead of just breaking her heart. "Now look though," she smiled snidely, "four gentlemen suitors vying for your affections. And two of them lords! Although it does sadden me to know that you will not be with me any longer. I was starting to think we would grow old together."

Penelope shuddered at the thought. She loved her mother, but to be stuck with her for the rest of her days? She'd rather die. Her mother sighed but finally acquiesced. Penelope wrote immediately and Mrs. Varley sent it off then helped her pack.

oooooooo

Two days later, the Bridgerton's footman John arrived to take Penelope and when the door opened to allow her in, Eloise was there to surprise her. "Oh! El! You sneak!" They hugged and giggled as they settled into their four hour drive.

"This way we can talk without momma or Hyacinth overhearing. I'm so sorry I overreacted by the way. I just felt betrayed, but I have been rereading all of the sheets I've saved over the last two years and, oh Pen, why? You don't actually think that way of yourself, do you?"

Penelope sighed. Looking crestfallen, her friend reached over and took her hand. She swallowed thickly and told her everything. "It all started out as an emotional outlet. After my first night out in society, I picked up on so many catty comments and lewd remarks being overheard, that I wrote it all down then picked apart everything. My father's solicitor was over and I had accidentally left one of my write ups on the writing desk in the parlour. I came back down to get it and he was reading it but smiling and chuckling while doing so."

Eloise could see why. The column was very witty.

"He asked if I had written it so I told him the truth. I thought he would tell me it was silly, but he was rather impressed. Seventeen years old, a fresh perspective, he said. He offered me a deal. I would write, he would get them printed and delivered to the ton." She looked out the window as she began speaking again.

"Everyone loved it so I did it a couple weeks later and then we decided to start charging. We needed a way to pay the printer and the delivery boys. I'd made a small fortune from it and put it away in a trust account. A third born daughter with no prospect of marriage, it was a smart idea. Then father was taken from us and three weeks later, his solicitor passed away as well. That is when I took things over with the printer, Theo."

"But how did you stay undercover? Did you employ one of your maids?" Eloise inquired, still wanting to know more.

Penelope shook her head. "No, actually, I disguised myself as a maid and used an Irish accent. I say, 'my mistress wishes this, my mistress wishes that' and they do it if they want to get paid." Eloise looked impressed as her friend adopted a spot on Derry accent.

"Wow, but why attack yourself so much in the Whistledown papers? To throw off suspicions?" Penelope just shrugged.

"I don't have a very high opinion of myself. I'm not very attractive, about 20 stone too heavy, and my family name holds no real power. My father was a drunk and a compulsive gambler, leaving his wife and daughters in debt with no dowries. The next Lord Featherington ended up being a scam artist and complete scoundrel. I have no idea why I ever thought your brother would ever see me as more than a friend, and now that I have sworn to forget him, he writes these beautiful letters of apology."

Her voice cracked and she began to cry. "And now Lord Fife and Lord Debling are writing me as well as Misters Dankworth and Anderson. I'm so overwhelmed and confused." Eloise switch to her side of the carriage and held her. She held her and rocked her and stroked her hair until her friend had fallen asleep. Eloise chewed her lip. Her and Colin's plan may have been a bit premature.

Colin sat on the shoreline of Loch Lomond writing in his journal, but could not stop thinking of her. By now, she should be at Aubrey Hall. The plan was to wait one week then surprise everyone by coming home early. He'd feign surprise at finding Penelope staying there, then try his damndest to win her heart and earn her trust back. It was foolish but he was desperate. He wanted to keep her. He wanted to marry her. He'd been a total plonker.

The wind had picked up and he watched almost in a trance as the Scottish dock blew in the breeze. A black grouse had made a nest in the tree he sat under and he watched a pair of golden eagle fly over the loch. It was a beautiful spot. He should tell Benedict about it. It would make a beautiful painting.

He closed his eyes for just a moment then heard a giggle. He opened his eyes and there stood twin girls of about 3 or 4 years old. Their hair was exactly the same colour as Penelope's and their eyes the same shade as his own. Was he dreaming? "Hello, and who are you?" They giggled again then ran off. He sat up and looked for the little cherubs then saw his Penelope on a plaid blanket talking to the little girls. It was a bit hazy but he could see them. Then she saw him and smiled brightly, waving him over. As he got close enough to touch her, she vanished as did their children and a dark cloud came overhead.

Lightning struck across the loch and thunder roared. He woke in a torrential downpour. Gathering his things, he stuffed them into his satchel and ran to where his horse, Argus, was tied up. Luckily, the inn he was staying was only a ten minute ride.

The next morning, he woke with a high fever and the doctor was called. He was told he was going to be fine enough for his ride back to England in a few days. "Just stay hydrated. Drink more tea. Maybe a bit of lemon and honey?" The doctor patted his shoulder before leaving the room. He fell into another dream, well, it was more like a nightmare.

"Oh, yes! Right there!" He heard her cries of passion but he knew she was not with him. He got closer to the door and pushed it open.

There she was, being pressed up against the wall. Being fucked, her mouth in a silent scream as she held onto the man. "That's right Penelope, take my cock and I'll make you my lady!"

The voice, he knew that voice. "Yes m'lord! Oh Fife! Make me your wife!" No! No! No! This cannot be happening! I told Eloise to keep her away from Lord Fife! No!

"NO!" Colin cried out as he woke from the nightmare. He was swearing and breathing heavy. Just a dream. It was just a dream. He had to leave!

It had been a nice four days of fun. Eloise, Penelope, and Hyacinth were out in the gardens having tea when they heard Violet exclaim, "Well isn't this a nice surprise! You're home earlier than expected!" Her heart jumped. He was early. They said a week! He'd wait a week then come back!

"I was ill and the doctor thought it best for me to go home." was his weak excuse. Eloise caught Penelope's eyes. They were wide and scared. She got up suddenly and ran towards the pond.

"Pen!" She yelled after her.

"What did I miss? Where is she going?" Hyacinth asked before grabbing another blueberry scone.

Colin came out and saw them. "Eloise?" She looked up and motioned behind her. That's when he saw Penelope disappearing into the trees. "Thanks!" Then he ran off after her.

Hyacinth looked confused then shrugged, "You guys are so odd." And Eloise just chuckled. She couldn't agree more.

oooooooo

Penelope felt as if she would faint. He was here. He'd said he was going to be gone for five weeks. How was she supposed to forget him if he just showed up everywhere she was.

"Pen?" She stiffened but continued to look out over the suddenly interesting pond. She heard him walking closer and she knew her chest was heaving as she tried to control her breathing. The warmth of his body coming up behind her made her shiver. He took her hand and turned her slowly back to face him but she tucked her chin to her chest. He put his index finger under her chin to make her look him in the eyes.

His eyes were swimming with tears. "My Pen." He whispered. "How I've missed you." His forehead leaned against hers and their breaths intermingled. "Please don't marry Fife." She stepped back and looked up at him.

"I would never. What on Earth made you think I was marrying Lord Fife?" She practically choked on the words. "I'm not marrying anyone. I'm corresponding with a few gentleman that actually seem interested in me now that you spurned me publicly. I'm not courting anyone, you specifically, and have not been asked officially to court anyone." Colin smirked at her so she huffed indignantly and turned back around.

He grabbed her shoulders and turned her back around. "Don't turn away from me, Penelope Featherington." She tried to wriggle out of his grasp which caused him to chuckle. "Stop. Just stop trying to run away from me." Her cheeks were flush as was her heaving bosom. "You're so infuriating, Pen! I told you that I want to court you! I want you, Penny! I want you to be mine. My love. My cherished friend. My wife. Please."

She looked up into his eyes and was caught in his stare. His hand came up to cup her cheek, the other hand grasped her waist. "I'm in love with you, Penelope." His face came closer. "I'm going to kiss you now." He announced, giving her time to say no, and then he did. The instant their lips touched, everything else fell away. Her lips were like soft pillows and she tasted of honey and cinnamon. He groaned as she grabbed the hairs at the nape of his neck and slowly parted her lips.

He slid his tongue into her mouth and never wanted to leave. The soft moan she let escape had him hard within milliseconds. "Oh, Pen!" He groaned as he lifted her off the ground and leaned them against the wide oak tree where he'd read as a child. He lifted her leg and ground his rock hard erection against her core causing her to gasp in surprise at the feeling. She couldn't help the moan that left her.

"Colin, oh god!" It was sinfully delicious, the way he was making her feel. He was large, hard, and he wanted her. He brought his hand down to her mound and she was almost embarrassed by how soaked she was already. He dipped his fingers into her wetness.

"Fuck! You're so wet for me. Can I taste you? Please Penny." She nodded thinking he would lick her neck or something but he dropped to his knees and slipped under her dress. He undid her stocking then lowered her underthings. She had to hold onto the tree when she felt the heat from his mouth on her most intimate area.

"Colin! What are you do ahhhhh!" He sucked on the small bundle of nerves then dove his tongue into her folds, licking and sucking, before adding a finger then another. "Oh! Oh Colin! Yes! Oh god! Mmmm! Yes!" Her cries of passion, her pleas of more spurned him on. "Right there, Colin! Oh god! Feels so good!" Moments later, she was crying out his name and he felt her walls clenching around his fingers.

"Marry me, Penelope." He had her juices all over his face and his hair looked quite disheveled and he had a scruffy beard covering his face as he stayed on his knees in front of her. She giggled then reached out, combing his hair back. She looked at him as if he hung the moon and the stars. She then lay her hand on his cheek. He turned and kissed her palm then leaned into her touch. "I love you so much," he whispered, "please marry me."

"Maybe." She smirked.

He grinned wolfishly as he stood. Taking his handkerchief out, he wiped his mouth clean. "Maybe?" She giggled then walked backwards slowly heading back towards the house. He followed, stalking her like prey.

"Maybe."

Eloise wondered what was taking them so long. She wondered if they made up or if they were having a row. Should she check? She made her way toward the pond where she'd last noticed Penny heading. As she got closer, she could see her friend leaning against the big oak but didn't see her brother. Then she heard something that would haunt her, "Right there, Colin! Oh god! Feels so good!" And she saw movement under her skirts then saw her brother's legs and feet peaking out from behind the tree.

She'd read enough smutty novels to know exactly what her brother was doing to her best friend. Oh heavens. Of course she would have to marry him now. Eloise turned and ran back to the house and waited.

About a half hour later, they came strolling inside holding hands. Their mother saw and wore a knowing smile. "What have you two been up to?" She asked and watched as her son's ears turned red and Penelope blushed.

"We were talking. I apologised in person. I told Penny how I feel and she has agreed to let me court her. After the appropriate time, I would like to propose and marry her by the next season." Hyacinth whooped, very unbecoming of a young lady. Eloise hugged Penelope and her friend melted into her arms.

"Did you tell him about your secret?" She whispered into her ear.

Shit!

Well, here it is! My first Bridgerton fanfic!!! I'm all about Polin!!! This will be multiple chapters! Leave me a little review!