Chapter VIII: The Old Coot

AN:

Hey there, Fan-fic-folks!

Sorry this has been a while. It turned out a mite longer than I thought it was going to. Every time I hit a place I thought I could stop, I suddenly decided it didn't quite fit and wrote a shitload more to go on top. Kinda annoying for meeting a schedule, but whatever. Hope y'all like it.

So, this Chloe is probably hella OOC. That's mostly deliberate, for two reasons, only one of which I can say because the other is spoilerey (We'll call that reason B.) A, combative Chloe would really not react well to being mindprobed, and having her do an Episode 3, post-Rachel-pic-reveal storm-off really wouldn't work with the whole sympathy over Dresden thing I was going for. Let me know if you think it was okay or not though. I'll try to un-mellow her some more later on if you're not into the whole not-stompy angry thing. :)

Also, I imagine this song (From about 2:00 till the 'interrupt') being the sort of thing playing around the campfire. Just to give you an idea of the folksy end of my musical interest. :D

Celtic Woman - Níl Sé'n Lá (Live At Morris Performing Arts Center, South Bend, IN /2013)

watch?v=64Akaz43fgY

Also, for those of you maybe wondering or who didn't get the reference, I did indeed name the black bookish Warden from the last chapter after my second favourite Left for Dead character. Bill is, of course, my first favourite. Him with a fireaxe and a shotgun would be my ultimate partner of choice in the zombie apocalypse. We'd probably die hella quickly, but by god, it'd be AWESOME. :)

Finally, yes. Irish names are still that weird. And so is Fahrenheit. Like, Kelvin makes more damn sense. Egad, America. Egad.

Thanks for reading and, as always, please review.

MaxNeverMaxine:

Yeah, I chuckled at the "Eh. Fuck it." image of it in my head. And well, thinking shit through is definitely not this Max's strong suit. ?

Yeah, that was a bit... weird to write. I was thinking about this for ages before and after writing it. It's very OOC, but it's kinda how I needed it to be to get the whole Dresden Sympathy bit going.

Glad to know you're still enjoying it, hope you enjoy this one. :)

GrumpyCat42:

Nope. Irish, I'm afraid. Italian for friend is Amico. Figured if Caoimhe was gonna be an Irish Stereotype, I'd better have her speaking a little of the language.

And yep. Certainly difficult for mundane humans to do. That little miracle will be revisited later on in the story.

We headed out of the weird-ass War-Council thing and everyone splintered off to go do... whatever the fuck it is they do. I went to find Max.

It took me about twenty minutes, but eventually I found her sat on a wall outside, just staring blankly at some shit off in the distance. I went over and sat next to her. She didn't look at me. So...

Damn it.

I rubbed the back of my neck. Shit, this is hella awkward. "Uh, Hey Max."

She grunted.

Well, at least I got a response, right?

That's good.

Isn't it?

"Sorry about your boss." I tried. "I mean, I didn't really know the guy, but... yeah." Stop talking, Price. "Sorry."

She nods, vaguely. Pretty sure that's a 'thanks, but fuck off' nod. I sit down anyway. After William died, I wanted everyone to fuck off too.

"So..." You know you got to ask, Price. You've been thinking about it the entire fucking time she was off fighting werewolves or whatever. "What did Weatherwax mean about, uh 'mental magics'?" I took a deep breath and looked over at her. "'cause I felt hella weird after you, y'know, tried to throw yourself at an old lady."

Don't get me wrong, I can probably guess what 'mental magics' are. I'm not fucking stupid. I just needed to hear it from her. A lotta shit happened in the last couple days and weirdly, it's like I get pissed off hella less easily now. I was gonna listen, for once.

Her shoulders slumped. Fucking hell, Max... "I am so fucking sorry, Chloe. I just wanted to hurt her."

"So, you fucked around with my head?"

She shook her head. "No! Never. Not you. I just... pushed you a little. You trust me already, so I just... made you focus on that."

Yep. Fucking thought so. Godfuckingshitdamnit, Max. "Seriously, Max? You'd fucking do that to me?"

She snorts, looking up at me for a second. "Spoiler alert, Chloe. I kinda have 'self-control issues'." She goes back to staring at the ground. "She just... I got so angry, Chloe. Shit, Dresden went to the wall for me so many fucking times and I couldn't do shit for him when it mattered." She sighs and it's all weird and ragged-breathy like she's trying to keep her shit together and barely succeeding.

Damn it.

I put my arm around her and whatever dam she had keeping it all back just broke and she started crying. She was babbling, too. About all I caught was a bunch of "I'm sorry"s and shit like that.

I just hold her. Not even sure for how long. She'd stopped crying though and started talking. About friends of hers from Seattle. Kristen and Fernando. About the drugs. About how she'd played with their heads trying to help and nearly killed them both. About how these White Council douchebags tried to decapitate her (Like, seriously?) and about how Dresden had literally put his own head on the line to keep her alive.

The air around us seemed to crackle as she talked faster and faster. She looked up at me. She looked... tired. So fucking tired. Heh. I know the feeling. "Like, what kind of monster does that, Chloe? To someone they... someone they care about!"

"It all happened years ago, Max. People can change. I mean, look at me, right?" I grin. "I'm hella different."

She doesn't look up. You need to try something different, Price. You're not helping. Huh, maybe thats it.

"Fuck, Max... You tried to help." I shrug, kinda not sure where I'm actually going with this. "I hella don't get it, the whole 'Dark Side corrupts' thing, but you tried to help. That's gotta count for something, right?" She nods, numbly. "And what about the Council? You said they just execute, uh, 'Warlocks' all the time, right?"

She nods again.

I grin and do that 70s romcom thing where I gently nudge her chin up with my hand so she's looking at me. "So, you're not dead. If you were a monster, they'd have killed you. You made one mistake when you were a kid, that doesn't make you a monster, Max."

She looked up at me. "You really think so?"

I nodded, all solemnly and shit. "I know so. So, get your shit together, nerd. We've got a bunch of weird, faerie assholes to beat the shit out of, 'kay?

She nodded back, wiping her eyes. "'kay."

After a while, we headed back inside. Caoimhe and Sutter were over by the bar. She'd gotten a glass of something and was sitting and chatting to the dude. Me and Max were about to head over when she spotted Weatherwax by the fire. She was talking to some dude with...

Huh.

That's a goat-guy. Or maybe a Goat-girl, I dunno. Whatever it was, there was a five-foot tall goat sat in a chair chatting with Weatherwax. "You will give Queen Titania what she requires!" He had a deep voice, kind of like Count Dooku. Probably a dude then. Gonna go with that unless someone says otherwise.

Weatherwax murmured quietly to him. I could see him get angrier with every word. His jaw locked and his eyes did this weird squinty thing my Dad used to do when he was hella angry.

He stood up suddenly with a hella pissed-off sounding growl, turning away from Weatherwax. Before he even took one fucking step, he crashed down onto the floor.

There were three purple scarf things hanging from his belt. Wait, weren't they the things Max's big bosses wore? The guys who were like, the most powerful wizards on the fucking planet? And this goat-dude-thing had killed three of them?

Fucking hell. Then I looked at Weatherwax. There was a tiny bead of sweat on her forehead, but other than that there was no fucking evidence at all that she was holding the goat-thing to the floor like a fucking pro-wrestler.

Max and I looked at each other. "Holy. Shit."

Weatherwax didn't even look at the goat-thing still flailing about on the ground. "If you talk to me in that manner again, I will pour so much frost into those Summer veins of yours that you will crawl to Mab herself and beg to become a Winter Vassal. Understood?"

The goat nodded, mutely. His eyes, looking like they were about to burst out of his fucking head, flicked about the room to each one of us stood watching in shock. Weatherwax snorted and waved a hand. The Gruff shook himself like a wet dog, then hesitantly tried to stand. When he found he could, he pulled himself fully to his feet. He stared at Weatherwax for a second, who'd gone back to looking at the fire.

Then, he shook his head and left the Mill, hobbling out the door.

Weatherwax's head swivelled to look at us. She didn't say anything, just quietly looked at us for a second or two, then smiled and went back to staring at the fire.

Max and I looked at each other again. "Holy. Shit."

We went over. "Hey, Weatherwax. Who was that guy?" I ask, figuring she'd bullshit or just smile that enigmatic smile of hers and ignore the question.

"No-one of consequence." Bingo! Ten points to me!

She looks up at Max. "There are many things to come for you, Child. If you are to be prepared, you must learn. Wizards practice many disciples, many styles of arcane combat. I realise your strengths lean further toward the subtleties of magic, but it will be of use for you to know some." She smirks. "I would recommend, however, that you do not overly rely on them. Your mind will get you out of more situations that those wands you carry."

Max shrugged, but I could tell she was excited. She got a little smirk that she kept trying to hide. It was cute.

I stuck my hands up and backed off. "You two kids have fun. I'm gonna go hang with Bart and the crazy Irish girl."

I wandered over to the bar, leaving Max and Weatherwax chatting.

Caoimhe grinned and held up her glass when she spotted me. "Top o' the mornin' to ya, lass." Sutter just grunted.

I nodded. I actually knew this one. Max's granddad had been properly Irish and used to say it all the damn time. "And the rest of the day to yourself, Caoimhe."

She grinned. "Y'know, you're not so bad, Price. You want anyt'in?"

I looked over at Sutter. "Uh, what've you got?"

One of his eyebrows went up. "Whatever you want."

I look at Caoimhe. Bullshit, right? She smirks. "The boyo means it. T'Mill c'n serve anythin' your little heart desires."

Huh. Well, what the hell. "Ok, dude. Um, surprise me?" That always turns out awesomely in the movies, so what the hell.

He nodded and busied about the bar. I sat next to Caoimhe. "So... You're a Faerie."

She nodded back. "I sure am."

"What's that like?"

She shrugged. "Prob'ly about t'same as bein' a human, just colder, bein' parta Winter an' all."

I frowned. "Yeah, Max said something about that. Means your big boss is Mab, right?"

She nods. "Sure does. She's a bit of a hard-ass, but a pretty good gal ta work for. She's not one for the olagonin' less'n somethin's doin' a number on 'er. "

We looked back to see Max juggling three knives without any fucking hands. They were just sorta flying in a circle above her open hand.

As we watched, she pointed over at something on the far wall and one of the knives shot out.

Caoimhe snorted. "Wizards're feckin' eejits. Magic's no substitute fer a good 'ole fashioned blade." She reached up and tapped the sword on her back. "This is Crednyah."

"Crednyah?"

"C, R, E, D, N, E." She laughs.

I roll my eyes. Fucking Irish. Hella weird language.

We got to chatting. Caoimhe was actually pretty awesome. Was still kinda weird, talking to someone who should be fucking fictional, but yeah. Hella awesomesauce.

Luccio picked out one of the crosses on the big world map. It was somewhere in Russia, sort of around the right of the middle. "Elder McCoy should be here. It's close enough to the Tunguska area to mask magical energies. We'll have to get there before we can find him. Weatherwax, you know the ways. Do you know how we can get there?"

Weatherwax peered down at the map. "This location is known to me." She reached over to the map, and tapped the cross with a fingernail. Then, she tapped at the air. She turned to me. "May I have one of your paper pictures?"

I frowned, but gave her one. What the hell. She's my teacher now, right? She held up the page and closed her eyes for a second, chanting under her breath. She put the paper down on top of Luccio's map. We all immediately looked down at it.

"You made a fucking sat-nav?"

Weatherwax had turned the paper into a little map of Faerie. There was a little symbol where the mill was, and a big cross off in the wilds somewhere. She smiled. "I have indeed. It will guide you to your destination. Now, go. There is work to be done."

I took the paper from the table and we headed downstairs to equip ourselves.

I pulled on my pack, with Ellis' help. I'd finally learnt his name after we'd gotten out of Luccio's briefing. Nice guy, but Wowzers, he was seriously bookish. Had these little pince-nez that perched on the the end of his nose and everything.

Caoimhe grins, strapping a second sword to her side. She'd introduced this one to us as Orlaith. (AN: Pronounced Orla, btw.) "Jaysus, bet it'll be good fer you Wardens to see some more action. Ya must've been goin' stir crazy after all the time with the wolves."

Ellis smiles. "We really have. It's been a while since I've been out on the field myself though. I was mostly part of the bureaucratic corps." He brings his silver sword down in a swift cut and stab. "But I made sure to keep in practice."

I blinked. Woah. I share an impressed look with Caoimhe. Never judge a book by it's cover, I guess. "Damn."

He grins and sheaths the blade. "Let's do this thing."

Once we're all prepped and ready, we head out.

I'm gonna skip the first part of the journey. Nothing happened, like, at all, so I'll just skip to the interesting stuff. That came a couple of hours into the trip when we came across a river out in the middle of this huge forest.

"How the fuck do we get across this?" It's pretty wide. Maybe 20 feet from edge to edge.

"Uh, Max?" Caoimhe mutters, cocking her head. "I think I hear music..."

I stop and listen. Shit, she's right. Faintly, off from across the river, I can hear... ew. Folk music. "Huh. You're right. There must be people over there."

"One second." I focus inwardly. "Weatherwax?"

"Yes, child?"

"Is there a town or something on the route you sent us? We can hear music."

I can sense the frown behind her next words "No. Your route should take you far from anyone who would trouble you. You may wish to avoid the music. You are in the Nevernever, after all. Music can be indicative of danger there."

Good point. I open my eyes. "Weatherwax says to go around." I check the map. "But the only other crossing is, like, fucking miles away. I say we cross and dodge whoever it is on the other side."

The Wardens exchange some... doubtful looks, but seem to shrug and agree quickly. Ana nods. "Very well. We'll go over here."

"Awesome." I lean back, look over at the river, then back at the Wardens. It's pretty strong... "You guys wanna go first?"

Luccio snorted. "We'll go together." She turned to the other two following her. "You two, mind the girl. Make sure she doesn't float away." I snort. Bitch. She looked over at Caoimhe. "You lead, we'll keep her safe."

Caoimhe shrugged. "All the same t'me, cara." She fiddled with a few buckles on her backpack and pulled it off, holding it up in front of her. Then, she walked into the river.

The two Wardens each took one of my arms and followed Caoimhe. Luccio took the rear. We all slid down the muddy embankment to the river. The minute we hit the water, I hissed. Shit, it's fucking freezing! I grit my teeth when Caoimhe looked back at me and grinned, utterly at ease. Bitch.

Anna and Ellis had to push pretty hard against the water to get through it. But they didn't get washed away. Their armour seemed to be weighing them down.

Maybe I should get some armour. That way I wouldn't have to get pulled through fucking rivers like a damn backpack.

We make it through and shake ourselves dry on the other bank. Caiomhe attracts our attention. "Uh, so, Anna's wandered off t's'mwhere."

Luccio whirls. "Damnit!" Her silver sword appears in her hand. "Did you see where she went?"

Caoimhe shrugs. "Níl. Jest turned 'round an' she was gone."

All three draw their swords. "Roight then, let's go get ya lost lamb, eh?"

They strode off into the woods, with me trailing on their heels. Basically, I was kinda using them as a human-fae shield. What? They were the ones with the armour and shit, right?

We make our way through the woods, with Caoimhe stopping every now and again to paw at shit on the ground like a bloodhound. The music got louder and louder as we went. Following her 'nose', we came to a clearing. There was a small campfire crackling in the middle of it and a couple of shadowy figures dancing around it, . "Uh, guys... I think we found the musicians..." I pointed across the clearing.

There were no musicians, really. Just three floating, ethereal instruments with a vague, green glow to them. There was a drum, a flute and something that looked kinda like a violin. The music, weirdly enough, had suddenly gotten quieter. The weird ghost-instruments were playing at a pretty pleasant level. Not too loud, not too quiet. I felt my toes start to tap involuntarily to the beat. I concentrated for a second and forced them to stop.

"Uh, Max?" Caoimhe sounded... oh crap!

The other two Wardens had dropped their swords and were dancing into the middle of the clearing with the other two. Caoimhe and I stood and watched in shock as the fucking Captain of the Wardens, big bad-ass bitch Anastasia Luccio, danced and swung around the clearing with a seriously fucked-up smile on her face. I literally cannot describe how disturbing it was to see, even if she was a weirdly younger and kinda hot version of her former scary old-lady self. Would've been way more fucking creepy before, but it's still pretty weird now.

Caoimhe put her hand on my shoulder. "I gotta bad feeling 'bout this."

I snort, watching the Wardens dancing around the campfire. "Yeah... bit late, Caoimhe." Luccio twirls around Anna and links arms with Ellis.

She takes in a deep breath. "Well, how t'hell are we gonna get 'em outta this mess?"

"Give me a minute." I glance around the clearing, trying to get a better look at everything. One of the Boss's lessons. Keep an eye on your surroundings. It doesn't really help. There's piles of bones and armour scattered around the clearing. Looks like a lot of people have died here.

That's... not good.

I look back over to the clearing, trying to check out the instruments. There's no fucking way I'm using The Sight in Faerie, that's an easy way to go fucking insane.

Wait... "Caoimhe, why are we immune to whatever this?"

She shrugged. "Got no idea why you are. I'm under the Queen's Aegis, myself. Protects me from a lot of the weirder things out here."

Huh. "Weatherwax?"

"I'm afraid I am also at a loss, Max. If you recall, I advised caution. That is the extent of my knowledge here."

So... "Any ideas?" I ask Caoimhe.

She nods her head at the instruments. "Good 'ole Faerie Charms, right there. Looks like..." Her eyes unfocus. I stare, kinda fascinated, as her pupils change into those little rounded Cat's-Eye Diamonds. So fucking cool. "Ah, fer fecks sake. Yeah, it's Summer-work."

It's what? Seriously? Well that's fucking bad.

She frowns. "What the hell is bloody Summer Court magic doin' in the heart o' Winter?"

That was probably rhetorical, but I shrug. "Maybe some Seelie Sidhe dropped it there. What does it matter? We need those three" I pointed over at the dancing lunatics. "to find the Senior Council. Whoever put this here, we need to get them out."

Caoimhe snorts. "Yeah, and if we get 'em out only to realise we ticked off a big bad faerie who's gonne come and rip us all t'pieces, then what? We gotta do this carefully."

Damn it. Why did she have to have a point? I sighed internally. Life would be so much easier if we could just blast through it. "Fine. Then, what would you suggest?"

"Can ya give the instruments a little nudge wit' your Will?"

I shrug. "Sure, but what the fuck is that gonna do?"

"Hopefully, it'll give me some idea o' what we're dealin' with 'ere."

Alright. What the hell. Better than doing nothing. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. Wizardry is all about Will. It's something all of us with the gift have. The Boss always defined it as 'The ability to make things happen'. So, I concentrated, worked up my will and sent it out to the instruments. Sort of like the Wizard version of that 'poke' weapon from the Worms games.

The outline instruments quivered for a second and flickered out, then reformed. Shit. I turned to Caoimhe. "Did that help?"

"Depends. Do ya want the good news or the bad news first?"

"Good."

"Well, we can get 'em out. But we're gonna hafta pull 'em out. No way are you dispelling that shite."

I sigh. Damn it. "How the fuck are we supposed to pull three heavily armoured adults away from a magically induced dance?"

Caoimhe grins.

I'm so very happy by the time Caoimhe finishes explaining her plan. After fucking Splattercon, I needed something like this.

I take a deep breath and start bringing together my will. Caoimhe gives me a nod across the clearing. In position. Move.

"Kaze!"

I throw out my hands and channel the magical energies down, through and out of them.

The wave of energy hits the four dancers and sends them flying. I grin. Air Spells were one of the few offensive magics I was good at. Remind me to tell you about the time Dresden and I spent a whole week working out a hair-dryer spell. It worked awesome. His brother, Thomas, let me intern at his shop once. I go so many tips you wouldn't even fucking believe me.

The minute they clear the, uh, clearing, the music starts to fade away again. The three ghost-instruments slowly drift down, the music dying down more and more as they drift to the ground. When they hit the ground, the music stops and the fire flickers out.

Caoimhe stops running and I drop my spell. The three Wardens all drop to the ground and start blinking and shaking their heads like they've just woken up. We both turn and look back at the now empty campsite. "Well, shit. That went well."

Luccio laughs breathlessly, sounding utterly exhausted. "It could've gone worse. We could all be dead right now." She frowns and focuses on me. "Except... you were immune to the charm."

I interrupt before she can continue. "Yeah, me and Caoimhe had this talk already. We have no fucking idea why it got you guys and not me. Neither does Weatherwax."

Her frown deepens for a second, then clears. "Still. We..."

I roll my eyes. "We need to go. The instruments will reform in a few minutes and I do not wanna have to fucking pull you out again, okay?"

She nods and the Wardens all stand, adjusting their armour and weapons and shit in preparation. When we've (They've) all gotten ready, we head off into the forest, following the map again. We make it pretty easily to our destination, without any other problems. Well, Luccio kept bugging me the entire way to theorise about why I was immune, but I spent most of the trip up front with Caoimhe learning to track so I could avoid her, so in my opinion, it didn't really count as a problem.

I check the map again and call a halt. "We're here!" I check out the surrounding area. Well, shit. "Why can't we ever go anywhere nice?"

Weatherwax doesn't respond, she just laughs. Bitch.

The trees around us are covered in webs. I can't see any spiders, but knowing Faerie, it's only a matter of time. I head to the spot on the map, making sure I'm in the exact right place. Of all the places in the Nevernever, Faerie is closest to our own plane of existence. A lot of places here link to places there, but it's not exactly spatially exact. If I was too far off, I might get a Way to somewhere way off course.

I look up and call out. "Found it! We need to open the Way here!"

In hindsight, I knew this was stupid, but whatever. Turns out shouting at the top of your voice in a deserted, cobweb-filled forest isn't exactly the best idea...

"Who enterssss our demesne?" A voice echoes out from the dark woods. It's horrible to listen to. All deep and crooning and raspy. Like Kaa the snake if she'd smoked 50 a day for a decade or two.

All the Wardens immediately draw their swords and form a little diamond with Caoimhe around me. "Wardens of the White Council. We apologise for our intrusion, we'll be gone in..."

The voice interrupts. "Gone? And why sssshould we let you go? You are intruderssss, are you not, little man-things?""

Caoimhe murmurs. "Come in to my parlour, said the spider to the fly..."

Luccio calls out again. "And we apologise for that, and offer a commensurate service in return. But we have urgent business elsewhere. If we could just..."

"No!" The voice spits. "At them, children. We will feed on their bodies! At them!"

And a wave of spiders comes through and down the trees at us.

Oh, shiiiiit...

Anna yells. "Shit, they're all around us!"

The line smashes into us like a wave, pushing the Wardens even closer to me. Ellis actually knocks me a little, throwing off my concentration. I swear under my breath and start to pull my Will together again.

I risk a glance at the spiders, and shudder when I see the half-foot long fangs. These aren't your ordinary house-spiders. These things are the size of fucking horses. They had long, chitinous bodies of a grey and blue-ish white colour that marked them as being of Winter. They were actually very graceful, dexterously flicking and dancing around as they tried to eat our faces.

Speaking of, back to the fight. Probably a good thing for me to concentrate on, right?

I tune back in just in time to see Caoimhe launch a huge torrent of ice at a spider in mid-jump. The ice collided with the spider and it flash-froze. It continued it's jump, landing at our feet and shattering into a shitload of pieces. She laughs, delighted, and swings her sword at one that had locked onto Anna's arm, trying to yank her out of the diamond. The sword bites into the things head with a disgusting squelching sound and it lets go, falling back into the flood of spiders around us.

Luccio looks over at her shoulder back at me while casually slashing at one of the spiders. "Get us out of here!"

Ok! Ok, I can do this, I can do this, I can... I concentrate for a minute and slash a hand through the air to open a way. The familiar blue portal opens in front of us and we all step through.

We stepped through from Faerie straight into... nothing. "Shiiiit!" We immediately fell straight down, tumbling and rolling down a fucking hill. It was everything I could do to avoid cracking my face on a fucking tree.

Honestly, looking back, I really wanted to know what it'd fucking look like to someone stood on the ridge. Just seeing us pop in out of nowhere and fall down like fucking Coyote in a Looney Tunes cartoon.

From my perspective, it fucking sucked.

When I finally hit the bottom, I tucked and rolled trying to, y'know, keep my internal organs internal. It's been harder than you'd think, actually. One reason I was glad Dresden had insisted I get good at shields and veils.

I hit the ground and I'm pretty sure every single bit of breath went out of me. I hurt so much I was kinda sure I was going to die.

Luccio had hit the ground in a weirdly nimble 3-point landing. Every one of my aching bones hated her for it. "Everyone, report. Anna? Ellis?"

Anna groaned and waved an arm from the bush she was stuck in. Ellis hopped down from the tree he'd landed in and called out. "Here."

"Excellent. Max? Caoimhe?"

I moaned and wafted an arm vaguely in her direction. To be honest, I was still not really with it. I'd just fallen down a huge fucking hill, so I'm pretty sure I could justifiably take a minute.

"I'm here." Caoimhe smirked down at us from her perch up in a tree.

Ellis wandered over and offered me a hand. I let it hang there for a second, maybe two, just wallowing in my pain. Ok, maybe three. But eventually I reached out and took the guys hand and he helped me to my feet.

That's when I noticed the weather.

"Holyfuckingshitit'scold!" I hissed out, doing that whole wriggle-rub thing you do to warm up.

None of the others looked concerned. "How are you not fucking shiv...shivering? It's so fucking cold!" I chattered out.

Luccio rolled her eyes and said "Magic." just as Caoimhe said "Winter-Fae. Duh."

Luccio turned and glared at her. She looked back at me. "Didn't Dresden teach you a heating spell?"

I shrugged. "N... No. We st...stuck to illusions and shit."

She rolled her eyes again. "Dresden... you shortsighted idiot." It was almost... fond?

"Well, you know the drill. It's the same process for a shield spell, just focus a little heat in there too."

I nodded hurriedly. "'kay. One sec."

I closed my eyes and visualised, well, me. I brought my will together and formed it into a blue coating, draping it over myself. This was how the Boss taught me to do shields. He was such an 80s Kid. I smiled, sadly. Everything had to be colour-coded. Blue for Defence, Red for Attack.

Once I had my shield, I focused on heat. Not too much. I wanted to be warm, not roasted. Well, probably burnt, since I'd totally missed Mom's gift for cooking. Remind me to tell you about the time I ashed a pizza later.

I tuned it to a comfortable 50 Fahrenheit and sighed in relief.

I opened my eyes again to see Luccio staring at me expectantly. "Ready?"

I nodded and took her hand, pulling myself up.

She gives me a second to dust myself off. "So, where to next?"

I pull out the map. "Uh..." I turn around until I'm facing the right direction. "This way."

It's maybe three hours of walking until we hit the town. It's... not a pretty sight. Everything is very functional, with little to no attention to looks. We kick up dirt from the road as we walk down the towns main street towards what Luccio guessed was the town hall. It was the only building big enough to be one, so we decided to try it.

The few people we walked past on the way swerved well around us. They were all wearing thick layers of clothing, and openly gawked at the fact we were walking in clothes made for temperatures forty degrees higher. The two we manage to convince to stop look at us and mutter something that sounds like "sumasshedhiye amerikantsov." before keeping walking.

So, we end up in the big building, which turns out to be one big hall, with a couple of small offices built into one wall. We head over to one and knock. A woman calls out. "Voyti!"

Luccio turns and mutters something under her breath. The woman inside calls out again. "Enter!"

"Hey! I understood that!"

Luccio smiles. "Translation spell. We'll all be able to understand Russian now."

I grin. That's pretty awesome. I'll have to ask her how to do that later. For now, we all head into the office.

"Hi, are you the boss?" I ask. I honestly have no idea. Everyone here seems to be dressed exactly the same way. I was used to town authority having weirdly oversized gold bling shiny enough to rival Mr T. Nobody here seemed to match that description. They were all dressed more like Murdock or Hannibal.

The woman smiles."I am. Alma Dostoyevsky, at your service." She frowns and cocks her head. "How can I help you?"

Luccio steps forward. "We're looking for someone. He's an older man, American. Probably arrived two or three months ago. He's..."

She frowns, interrupting Luccio. "You want the Old Coot? What do you want him for?"

Luccio smiles. "Family business. A relative died and one of the clauses in his will require us to contact him. Do you know where we could find him?"

Dostoyevsky looks suspicious, but shrugs. "He's down south, near the treeline."

We come over the hill to find a little cottage just... there by the edge of the forest. It looked like it should have three bears and a little blonde girl arguing outside it. I frowned at it. This was where Ebenezar was hiding?

"Councilman McCoy is in here?" Anna looks over at the house, one elegant eyebrow raised. The image is kinda ruined by the blood running down her face, but whatever.

Luccio nods. "He should be. It's the location I know. If he's not there, then we've no chance of finding him."

Caoimhe rolls her eyes and walks forward. "Well, lets go get on with it then. Sooner we check et out, sooner we can move the feck on."

The Wardens shrug, unsheathe their own swords and follow. I take the rear.

The area is quiet as we creep over. No sound, no other people, nothing.

We reach the door in seconds. Caoimhe turns to me and mouths. "Should I?"

I shrug, look to Luccio. She nods. Caoimhe shrugs and reaches over, then knocks loudly on the door.

We wait for a minute. Then another. And another. Five minutes go by before we hear a faint grumbling and someone shuffling about on the other side of the door. The door flashes blue and fizzes loudly for a few seconds.

A stocky old man with blunt features and next to no hair answers the door. I grin. "Hey Sir."

His eyes bulge and his mouth opens slightly. "Max?" He looks to the others. "Captain Luccio? How the..?"

He looks between us again. "What the hell are you doing here? Protocol is to..."

"Um, sir? It's kind of cold out here..." I venture. Well, 'interrupt', but whatever. Potato, potato. "Could we maybe talk inside?"

He blinks and shakes his head. "Good point. Look at me, forgetting my manners. Come in, all of you. And wipe your damn boots."

We follow him in to the house. He takes us through to a small kitchenette area. He wafts a hand at it without even looking, heading straight over to stand by a window. "Help yourselves to whatever you need."

The two Wardens and Caoimhe settle down into the kitchen. Luccio goes to join McCoy at the window. I sorta stand between the two for a second, kinda overthinking what I know I gotta do. In case you hadn't guessed, I tend to do that. Overthink the personal stuff, Underthink the job stuff. Something else I picked up from Dresden.

Eh. Fuck it.

"Uh, sir? Can I talk to you? In private?"

His grizzled old eyebrows shot up, but he nodded and we headed outside. There was a little wooden bench-table thing carved around a tree trunk in the garden. He took a seat on it, I stayed standing.

He snorted. "I'm not gonna bite, Max. Sit down."

I sat down. "So, what was it you wanted to talk about?"

I took a deep breath. How the hell do you tell someone shit like this? I mean... "Its about Dresden, sir."

Ebenezar frowns, his big shaggy eyebrows bunching together. "What about 'im? I was wonderin' where he'd got to. Is he with you?"

"No, sir. He's... he didn't make it."

His face falls. "So. The Lad is dead, then." He sighed. "I thought as much. Damnit, Hoss." His hand went to his forehead. "Damnit to hell."

I sat in silence as he muttered and grumbled to himself. It... fuck. It sucked.

"Right. Well, then." He lifted up his head and looked me straight in the eye. "We're going to get the bastards that did this, Max. You have my word on that."

I smiled. "Never doubted it for a second, sir."

He groaned to his feet. "Well, the boy wouldn't want us mopin' around fer too long. Lets get back in afore the Wardens start gettin' impatient an' tearin' the place apart."

We head back inside to see Ellis and Anna digging through the cupboards and Luccio pacing back and forth around the room. She spots us walking in and immediately storms over. "Elder McCoy, we need you to come with us. We're taking the fight back to..."

McCoy puts up a hand. "I can't do that, Captain. I'm needed here."

Her mouth drops open. "Here? What's here? You're needed for the fight, Ebenezar! What good are you doing here?" She punctuates that last line by almost pushing at McCoy, but she manages to stop herself right before her hands hit him. Smart woman. McCoy had once brought down an entire satellite from orbit just to fuck with someone.

The gruff old bastard growls with frustration. "Look, Captain, that's what I'm tryin' to tell you, damn it! I'm lookin' for somethin' that's gonna help with that fight!"

Luccio scowls, but her aggressive posture drops. "As you say, sir. Then please, tell us what we can do to help."

He raises one fluffy grey eyebrow. She smiles, awkwardly. "We might've lost Edinburgh, but you're still Senior Council, Sir. At the end of the day, we follow your lead."

He nods. "Excellent. Right, come on then. Follow me."

He takes us upstairs to a cramped attic.

"I'm here fer this." He rolled out one of the scrolls onto the table.

I... um... I look at the weird-ass picture on it. "What is it?"

He snorted. "This right here is map of the Reliquary." That's a map? Seriously? Okay... "Found it in one of my masters old journals. There's supposed to be a wealth of artefacts down there. Thought maybe we could use some of them. I certainly ain't leaving without at least takin' a look. You in?"

I look over at Luccio, who shrugs. I nod. "Sure. What do we need to do?"

The old man grins.