Title: Selective Communication Skills
Characters: Kirk, Spock, sleeping-on-Spock's-couch!McCoy
Rating: Dude, so a fluffy K
Word Count: 843
Summary: Jim Kirk is not a happy man when both of his XOs disappear just before he decides to do a routine surprise inspection of Science and Medical.
AN: Written as a hurried, unbeta-ed, and terribly sloppy little gift fic for writer_klmeri, who is both a good and overworked LJ friend, and a spectacular cheerleader for my sporadic ST muse. *sends hugs*

After two hours of surprise departmental inspections (a necessary part of every captain's shipboard duties, though he for one hates to see crewmen panic at the sight of their captain), during which he found neither of his Science department heads at their stations or indeed anywhere on the premises, it is with some irritation that Captain James T. Kirk leaves the turbolift on Deck Five, intent upon finding out why Scotty is apparently the only XO aboard who actually works his designated shifts in his designated location.

Triggered by the vibration of Kirk's fateful bootsteps, Spock's door opens of its own accord before him, and he strides in with purpose, intent upon finding out why his second-in-command has apparently decided to take the afternoon off when the rest of the crew is still performing their usual duties. His Chief Medical Officer, Kirk will deal with later; one truant subordinate, especially a Vulcan one with Vulcan diplomatic skills, is quite enough to handle at the moment.

Fortunately, both objects of his search are within the cabin, much to his surprise. Spock glances up from his desk, immediately perceives his captain's annoyance, and…promptly goes back to his work.

He clears his throat pointedly, but receives little reaction, finally resorting to a curt, "May I ask what benefit there is in a surprise departmental inspection, Mr. Spock, when said department's on-duty officer is not present for feedback?"

"We do utilize a quite efficient intra-network memorandum system for such occasions, sir."

"You did not just say that to me."

An eyebrow slides slightly upward, the why-must-I-live-amongst-idiots one, and Spock favors him and his irritation with a look of condescending tolerance.

"Perhaps if you were to summon said departments' on-duty officers upon discovering their absence, Captain, instead of becoming increasingly frustrated by their non-appearance in answer to your non-summons, you would have less difficulty in completing inspection tours," his unperturbed First ventures mildly.

"I shouldn't have to summon you in the first place! And –"

"Captain." The word is quiet, but suddenly intense, and accompanied by a brief gesture toward the cabin's sitting alcove. Kirk waves his hands in a helplessly aggrieved gesture, and he would swear Spock almost rolls his eyes. "Dr. McCoy has been far overworked during the events of the past two Terran lunar cycles, as you are well aware, sir."

His incredulity is evident in his voice, so much so that Spock ignores him and simply returns to his work, stylus skritching softly on the PADD before him. "So, what…you invited him to a – a sleepover in the First Officer's cabin? Really, Spock?"

The look he receives over the top of the PADD could disintegrate duranium. "Sir, I am hardly to blame if a member of the command staff becomes so exhausted in his duties that he falls asleep in my company, much less in my cabin while discussing ship's business. As you yourself have done on occasion, sir."

He splutters for a second, before dragging both hands down his face in a scrubbing gesture of resignation.

Silence, broken only by the staccato tapping of Spock's calmly fingers typing out the latest statistics for his next report.

And then a sort of muffled snort as their sleeping CMO shuffles in his sleep, flumping onto his other side on Spock's hard couch with one blue-clad arm sprawled dramatically over his head.

Finally, broken down by the sheer force of Adorable, the captain shakes his head, and hides a smile while Spock is engaged in sending a fuel consumption inquiry to Engineering.

"You're expecting me to believe it's totally logical to let a man sleep on the job just because he's tired, Commander?"

"When tired enough to fall asleep mid-sentence in the middle of a medical evaluation of his departmental heads? Yes, Captain."

"Mm-hm. And I suppose it's equally logical to drop the temperature in here to a human tolerance level so he doesn't wake up because of the heat?"

"It is not Vulcan to intentionally cause a life-form any type of discomfort, Captain."

"Of course, Mr. Spock, of course." Kirk nods in solemn agreement. "And it is also a Vulcan habit, I take it, to tuck a blanket around a subordinate who falls asleep on his commanding officer's couch during what may or may not have been a well-laid plot to get our current biggest medical concern off his feet for a few hours."

Spock studies his reports with a ferocious intensity.

He rolls his eyes unseen and heads toward the door, tossing over his shoulder, "Well, I salute your tactical genius, Commander."

"Thank you, Captain."

"Your…selective communication skills, however, are a different matter."

"I shall endeavor to increase efficiency in the future, sir."

"You do that. Oh, and Spock?"

"Sir?"

"You are aware that most humans have the unfortunate habit of drooling when they are deep within REM sleep?"

He takes a mean pleasure in the look of dismay that crosses Spock's otherwise expressionless face, and waits until the door shuts behind him to laugh his head off all the way down the corridor.