"You are home, little one," grumbled the Master. It was the first thing he said.

"I don't think that's what she means," said Donna.

I shook my head and tried to swallow the heavy lump in my throat. There were words, right on the tip of my tongue. Words that refused to come out, now that everyone was staring at me.

The Doctor broke the silence for me. His smile was warm. "Well, I can't keep you here against your will. Although I have no idea where you even live, to be honest."

"What would you want in that hole anyway?" The Master dropped his bag and towered above me, the stare as dark as it could get

"I… I…"

"Fine, just fuck off, then."

"Master!" I grabbed his sleeve before he could storm away. "I don't want to leave."

"You said there is no one to return to."

"Just leave her be, you grumpy alien." Donna shoved him aside. "Who do you want to visit?"

I looked between them and exhaled. "I want… I just want to see my dad. That's all."

His look drilled burning holes into me, but then softened. Relief. That idiot had really thought I would just up and leave him. I shot him a dark look back, hoping it would signal my disapproval of that thought.

"I just want to see him. It's been… a long time."

"Well, then let's go!" The Doctor, happy as ever, bounced around the console, preparing the time machine for travel. I went to him to tell him where to land and off we flew.

The journey was quick and somehow too smooth. In my mind it was improper that nothing tried to hold me back. Not time, not the vortex, not some crazy anomaly that sat exactly where I needed to go. No, there was nothing in my way, nothing to keep me from taking this step I had avoided for so many years.

"You never told me anything 'bout your family, Lucy." Donna let go of the jump seat.

I sighed, struggling for words. "There is nothing to…" I shook my head. "No, there is too much to tell."

"You can go whenever you want." The Doctor nodded to the door and squeezed my shoulder. "And don't let that grumpy face over there tell you what to do. If you want to stay, then you're free to."

"Certainly not." I scoffed.

The Master lightly shoved him aside. "Don't try to get rid of her again."

"Oi! I'm not! You'd get her back anyway."

"You bet I would."

I smiled at that comment. There was no way he would just let me go. Not before the drums were gone and maybe… no. I stopped the thought immediately. He had made sure that I knew that this was all just for fun, to pass the time, to enjoy the ride. There wasn't anything else to it, no matter how much the thought… hurt. It shouldn't hurt. I didn't even want this to be more. I…

…was stalling.

Behind those doors lay a past I had buried. A past I had decided to leave for good, never to return. Donna nudged me gently.

"I can come with you, if you want. You know, if it's too hard to face'em alone."

I swallowed and wondered if I should accept.

"We could all come," offered the Doctor.

"Iiiii… really don't think that's a good idea." I eyed the Master, seeing him smirk. "J… just give me a minute. I wasn't prepared to be here so… suddenly."

It wasn't that I had forgotten how fast the TARDIS could travel, it was more that I hadn't thought this through properly. The words had been there from one moment to the next, with no time in between to contemplate the consequences. And now…

I had always imagined how I would take on a long journey, like the train ride I had done with the Master. At the end of it I would stand in front of the door I so dreaded and I would ring. Because there would be nowhere else to go, no place to hide and it would be too late to make the drive back.

Now I had all the time I wanted and needed. Heck! I could even tell the Doctor to leave this place and never return.

"Yes… I'd… like that very much, Donna. Would you come along?" I shily glanced up at her, a feeling in my chest as if it was improper to ask that of her, despite it being her own offer.

"Of course, dear." Her smile was warm and encouraging. Just what I needed.

"Okay… alright then." I nodded to myself and looked at everyone. "It's… I didn't have the best of childhoods. And my relationship with my parents is… weird. That's it. I've not seen them in… I think it's been ten years or so. You'll wait here, right?"

"Of course we will." The Doctor assured me. "No matter what happens. You always have a home here."

I huffed and smiled. "Thank you, Doctor."

Donna took my hand. "Shall we?"

.

The TARDIS had parked just outside the house, neatly tucked away between a garden shed and the dumpsters. It wasn't a big house. There were only three apartments in it, all of them for rent. The one my family occupied had never been big enough for four people.

My dad always had his own room, because he was one hell of a snorer and because the relationship between him and his wife hadn't been any good since I could remember. This left one bedroom and one room that had been mine, long ago. I had given it to my sister as soon as I had left, so she wouldn't have to share her sleeping space with our mom any longer. And because, by then, she had been old enough to definitely need some space for herself.

No one really used the living room, except for my mom. I knew I would find her there, watching TV all day long, not doing much else. Usually she slept through half of the day, only to spend the nights with shows she had recorded during the day. If the mood struck her, she would tend to the household for an hour or so and then return to sit around.

It was past six in the evening. My sister would be home anyway. She wasn't an outgoing person, had no friends and - contrary to myself - wasn't bothered by it in the least. There were enough books and enough video games to keep her occupied. My dad would be there too, home from a usual day of work. He never told much about his days. He never told much about anything. But it had always been strangely comforting to sit with him in silence, everyone just doing their own thing.

I glared at the little button next to my name sign. All I had to do was to press it, but the action seemed too much for me. My hand just wouldn't move, no matter how much I willed it to.

"That one?" Donna pointed at the bell and I nodded. "Shall I?"

I hesitated, but then choked out a "yes."

As much as I didn't want to go up there and meet all those old and buried memories, I wanted to see him. I wanted to see my dad again and give him a hug and tell him I was okay and…

Would they all even recognize me? The last time they had seen me, I had weight almost double as much as now and my hair had been shoulder long. They had never seen me after losing weight and also never with my pixie cut.

Donna rang. Seconds passed. A crackling sound came through the small speaker by the door and then a voice, young and weirdly similar to my own.

"Yeah? Who's there?"

"The Easter Bunny," I joked. It had been a running gag between us to use silly things like that when we were at the door.

"Lucy?"

I laughed. "Yep, the one. Can I come up?"

"Oh, yes, of course."

The door buzzed and I pushed it open. Donna followed me and we ascended the stairs to the third floor.

My younger sister stood in the door frame, just as I remembered her. She was exactly the same size as I, but had always been a thin stick figure, her brown hair fell over her back, a bit tousled. She had a long, slim face and her smile was always a little crooked, as if she wasn't quite sure how it worked.

As soon as I reached the door I wrapped my arms around my sister and hugged the air out of her lungs. For once, she even let me. For a few seconds at least, before she wriggled herself free.

"That's Donna, by the way." I gestured to the other woman. "A friend of mine. She brought me here. Donna, this is Nina, my little sister."

"My, you two look alike. Hello there." She shook my sister's hand."

We were led inside and she quickly closed the door to her room." Don't look in there. Nina grimaced. "Haven't tidied up in a while."

I chuckled and followed her to the living room. I knew what would await me and still, I held my breath before entering.

"Who is it?" asked a woman's voice.

"You'd never guess, mom," my sister answered.

The sight of the living room was uncanny. Everything seemed exactly as it had been the last time, over ten years ago. There was a big desk in one corner of the room, meant for family diners that never happened. The other half was occupied by a couch table and the corresponding sofa. The ugly thing clearly had seen better days and was almost as old as myself. And on it, as if she were part of the damn thing, sat my mother.

She looked up and blinked a few times, obviously trying to figure out who the heck I was. She hadn't changed. She was still as overweight as ever, if not more, her hair stuck in the never changing perm from a time where people had been obsessed with them. She wore a dress, she always did. It's what her religion told her to do.

"Lucy? Is that really you? You have changed so much!"

"Yeah." I couldn't answer more. What was there to say anyway?

"Why did you never call? You could have at least told us where you are and what you do!"

There they were, the accusations. The tone of voice that sounded so concerned, yet was as fake as anything could get. My guts twisted.

But today I wasn't in any weak position. I wasn't threatened with being thrown out of the house or left with no money if I said anything wrong. I could walk out of this whenever I needed. Or wanted.

She didn't even get up, just kept sitting there, with the remote in one hand. "Did you never even once think about how I would feel with this?" she kept on. "I was worried."

"Well, I'm sure she had a good reason." Donna. Oh my great and awesome Donna. She spoke when I couldn't find words. "Don't you want to give your daughter a hug at least? Stop sitting there and give her dark glares! No wonder she didn't want to come here!"

Out of the corner of my eye I saw my sister wince. Suddenly I wished the Master had come along after all. But Donna was giving me her strength instead and I was so grateful for her presence. I swallowed the lump in my throat and didn't wait for the woman on the sofa to form an answer.

"I was… nearby and just wanted to… check on y'all." It was so hard to keep my voice steady. "Where's Dad? Is he working overtime again?"

The room fell silent. Nina cleared her throat and moved into my line of sight. "Did no one tell you?"

That look in her eyes! A cold shiver ran down my spine. "Tell me wh… what? I was pleading with her silently to destroy my worst fears, to dispel the terror that had beset me within a mere moment. This couldn't be. He couldn't be…

"He died."

Something inside me shattered. Without a single noise and with a force that made me sway, it splintered into a million pieces.

My mom pressed a button on her remote and switched to another show. The tone was muted, but her gaze was glued to the moving images.

"Lucy, I'm so sorry," said Nina. She stroked my arm and looked at her feet.

"Oh, as if she wouldn't know already," accused my mother from her spot. "What do you think she's here for? Don't bother. He hasn't left anything for you to inherit."

"Yeah, because that's the only fucking thing I'd care about," I snarled. "Not everyone's as obsessed with money as you!" I had enough. The tears in my eyes were no longer from shock, but from anger. "You're as bad as ever. I thought, maybe you'd have changed, or maybe I would remember you worse than you are… but it's exactly as ever. I hope you rot in hell."

"You take that back!" she shouted.

But I wasn't having it. I stormed out of the room and out of the flat, not caring if anyone followed. Outside I just stood there, breathing and… hurting. Only seconds could have passed, even though they felt like hours. I heard steps from behind and some from the side and then there were arms wrapping around me. Strong arms.

I trembled, fought with the tears that threatened to spill and the anger that wanted to consume me whole. The Master didn't resist when I clutched him firmly, holding tight until I had at least some control back.

"What happened?" He sounded concerned, didn't he?

Nina spoke up, timid as ever. "Mom was… She wasn't very nice to Lucy."

"Not nice?" Donna was outraged. "Punching someone in their sodding guts would have been nicer."

The Master lifted my chin to meet my eyes. "I just remembered this was the place you wanted to go when we first met, isn't it?" When I nodded he simply hugged me a little tighter, much to my surprise. He lowered his head to my ear. "Though, this time I don't have a gun for you."

Idiot. I had to stifle a weak laugh. "It doesn't matter anymore."

.

A/N: After three years of writing we're back at the start. Some lose ends will get tied at last.

I was contemplating for a long time how to actually write this and I decided to use this chapter for something I could never do in real life. To say good bye. This is hard to write and yet the words just keep coming...

Anyway... thank you all for sticking with me all this time. It means a lot. I love you, no matter if you ever said a word or not. I know a lot of people are too shy to comment, or simply don't know what to say. It's okay. I appreciate you all the same.

I'm glad there is something like fiction that allows us to mend the holes we leave in reality.