Elijah isn't dumb enough to think he's everyone's new favorite teacher. He assigns homework, gives little pop quizzes and polices electronic use in class. That's all fine with him. He's used to not being the favorite in most situations. Being a educator. isn't supposed to be fun. He isn't ever going to be the "hip" teacher. Besides, he'd take the people rolling their eyes and mocking him behind his back (or so they assumed) versus the girls that kept flirting with him. As far as they know, he's nearly 30. Even Rebekah was never this bad with older men.
When he enters the room on a cloudy Thursday afternoon, he ignores the mutters and scoffs from a small group. Kol sits in the front row without having to be asked. The first tip off is that his textbook is on his desk and he's actually reading it. Elijah raises a brow. This is the boy who puts off studying and homework until the last possible second. He clears his throat and his son doesn't look up.
"Kol," Elijah mutters, only loud enough for one with supernatural senses to hear. "What are you up to?"
His son's eyes don't leave the book nor do his lips move. Elijah shakes his head. Sometimes with Kol, you can't control the madness and instead, just deal with it later.
A further shock is the seat switch up. Asher, Charlie and Dwayne sit closer to the front that morning. There's no chattering, all smiles as they stare at the board. Elijah runs his fingers through his hair. This is shaping up to be an interesting class.
The final bell rings, signaling the start of the period. Elijah doesn't have time to give any more thought to the four boys' odd behavior.
"Good morning, all," Elijah says. "I shall collect homework at the end of class today as we have much to cover. Please take out your notebooks and writing utensils."
As the students follow his order, Elijah crosses to his desk. He grabs the tiny remote to turn on the projector and presses the button. Nothing. He lets out a silent groan, not in the mood to contact the school's tech support. Another press. Still nothing. Elijah jams his thumb down.
"What the fuck?!"
Elijah's head snaps up at the sound of Charlie's cursing. The lad and his friends sit, drenched in bright blue paint. It drips down their hair to their t-shirts and jeans, all the way to the desk and supplies. Elijah notes the busted balloons hanging from the ceiling. The three jump up, wiping at their faces. The entire class erupts into laughter. Asher grumbles, looking around the room.
"Shut up!"
Elijah takes a step forward, holding up a hand. The laughter continues. "Silence!" That quiets the commotion. "Charles, Asher, Dwayne, head to the nurse and get yourselves cleaned up."
The boys are silent as they grab their possessions and exit the room. A few snicker after them. Elijah notes Charlie has a piece of notebook paper taped to his back.
Kick The Dumbass
Elijah glances at the mess. Conveniently, the balloons only popped over those three seats. No one else was affected by the splatter. That seems a bit…convenient.
He glances over at the one person that didn't laugh. Kol's still looking at his textbook, the slightest bit of a smirk on his face. His pinky vibrates as it taps against the desk. Elijah clucks his tongue, shaking his head.
"I'll take care of this later," he says. "Let us resume our lesson."
Kol is the most attentive he's ever been throughout Elijah's time as a teacher. He takes precise notes. The rest of the class never fully recovers from the excitement of the first few minutes. Elijah soldiers on. It's their own grade when exams come around.
Eventually, the bell rings. Elijah glances at his e-mail to find the three boys were sent home for the day so they could shower and "recover". The secretary offers to send the janitor up to clean the mess. Elijah clucks his tongue and politely turns it down, rather requesting they move his classes to the library for the day.
Elijah catches his son before he leaves the room. "Kol," he says, his voice firm. Kol turns around, all smiles. The harsh gaze of his father causes it to fade. "You will meet me here on your lunch break."
Kol opens his mouth to argue. Elijah raises a brow. The young one slowly nods.
"Yes, Mr. Mikaelson," he mumbles.
Kol has never been more grateful that his father allowed him to put a soundproof spell on the room when he first started. As he enters the room at lunch, he notes all the blinds are drawn. The three desks are still covered in blue paint. Elijah stands in front of his desk, a bucket of sudsy water and a sponge on the floor beside him. The elder vampire's arms are folded across his chest, eyes narrow. Kol drops his backpack and holds his hands up in defense.
"If I promise to clean it up without an argument, can the spanking wait?"
Elijah hums, face unchanged. "What do you think?"
"That you're a very wise, understanding daddy who loves his little boy and would not force him to sit through another hour and a half with a sore bum," Kol plays to his dad's soft side, widening his eyes and pouting. Elijah shakes his head. Kol sighs. "Dad, please just hear me out…"
"Oh, yes, please." Elijah takes a step forward. "Please explain to me why you'd use your magic in public, after we've had several, long discussions about it, on top of performing a spell that would humiliate your classmates. I'm just dying to hear this."
Kol bites his lip. "Dad…"
"I expected more of you, Kol Andreas," Elijah barrels on. "I know you have a tendency to prank but this crosses a line, even for you. We could've all been exposed today! Or those boys could've been hurt!"
"It's paint, non-toxic," he mumbles.
Elijah raises a brow. "Yes, because your magic hasn't backfired before." He throws his arms in the air. "I mean, really, Kol! What on Earth got into that head of yours?"
"I was trying to protect you."
"Protect me?" Elijah scoffs. "Of all the excuses you've ever had…"
Kol interrupts, not caring if it gets him in further trouble. "I'm serious!"
Elijah frowns. Kol sighs, rubbing the back of his neck.
"I heard them talking," he says, his voice soft. "They rigged the projector so it was going to shoot you with paint when you turned it on. At the last minute, I used my magic to change it." Elijah's eyes soften. "Don't worry, I compelled them to not think anything of the prank going wrong. We won't be exposed."
Elijah runs his fingers through his hair, gnawing on his lip. Kol fidgets.
"They kept making fun of you." Protectiveness races through his veins. "Said they wanted to teach you a "lesson" because of how strict you were. I…I…I didn't want you to be humiliated." Much to his surprise, Elijah chuckles. "What is it?"
"Just surprised is all, Little Prince. I thought you'd revel in me being pranked."
"Yeah, in private or around family or whatever." Kol pouts. "And only by me. You're my obnoxious, annoying dad. Only I'm allowed to make fun of you."
Elijah laughs once more, walking over and wrapping his arms around his son. He kisses the top of his head. Kol stands in the hug, a little surprised.
"You're smiling, is that a good sign?"
"Oh, you're still in trouble," Elijah mumbles into his hair. "I'm merely thinking of how far we've come." He pulls off, cupping Kol's cheeks. "At one point, you would've reveled in my misery. Now, here you are, using your magic to protect me."
"Don't let it get to your head," Kol says, his cheeks tinting red. "I still think you're annoying."
"No, I think my little prince loves me," Elijah coos, pinching his cheeks. Kol groans, pushing his hands away.
"Should've let those balloons hit you."
Elijah shakes his head. "I appreciate you wanting to protect me, Little Prince, I do. But you should've just told me what they planned."
"I wanted them to get a taste of their own medicine."
"Revenge is rarely a good tool in cases like this. As I said, anything could've happened to these boys." Elijah sighs. "There is a reason we do not allow you to use unsupervised magic." Kol opens his mouth but his dad barrels on. "This didn't count as I didn't know you were practicing. I don't care so much about us being exposed. I could take care of that. But what if you were hurt, Little Prince?"
Kol shrugs. "I wouldn't have let that happen."
"You can't always control that." Elijah fixes him with a serious face. "This cannot happen again. You need to talk to us. Your mother, myself or your siblings. Are we understood?"
"But…" Another sharp look silences Kol. He frowns. "Yes, sir."
"Good." He glances at the mess. "You will clean that up, after your spanking."
Kol whines, stomping his foot. "You're spanking me?! For protecting you?"
"Nay. I am spanking you for the unauthorized use of magic."
Kol grumbles, but undoes his belt, allowing his jeans to fall. Elijah makes sure the door is locked before sitting in his desk chair. He pulls Kol over his lap and peels back his boxers.
"Just 20 with my hand," he says. "Because I know you were just trying to help."
Kol grumbles. Elijah wastes no time smacking each cheek. Kol whines, pounding the bottom of the chair. His face is bright red once again. Elijah doesn't go nearly as hard as he has in the past. The point is to teach a small lesson. In a way, the embarrassment of being spanked at school will be enough.
SMACK!
SMACK!
SMACK!
"Why are you over my lap?" Elijah asks, paddling Kol's behind. His son yelps, pouting.
"Owwie! I…ow! Used magic without asking!"
"Precisely," Elijah gets his sit spots. "Why is that naughty?"
SMACK! SMACK! "Ouchie! Some…someone could get hurt!" Elijah raises his hand far, smacking it down against the baby fat. "Ahhh! Okay! I could get hurt!"
"That's right! I am not going to lose you because you want to get some revenge. Even if it is on my account. What shall you do next time?
SMACK!
SMACK!
"Owww!" Kol whines, his face crimson. "T…tell…you…or Mama."
Elijah nods, even though Kol can't see him. He continues to spank Kol's bottom until it's a dark shade of pink. His little one doesn't cry, rather whine and pout like a toddler. Elijah gently pulls up the boxers, sighing as Kol yelps over the jeans. He maneuvers the bouncing and whining little boy so he's sitting on his knee.
"Hush, you won't be in pain too long," Elijah tuts, rubbing his back. Kol makes a face. "None of that now. Did you learn?"
"Yes, sir," the little one mumbles.
Elijah cuddles him close, pressing a kiss to his temple. Kol looks up at him in surprise.
"You stood up for me. Not in a way I approve of, but I do appreciate it." Elijah taps his nose. "I love you, my wily little boy."
Kol smiles a little. "I love you too, Daddy."
Elijah smiles, lightly tickling his tummy. Kol giggles. "Go clean up those chairs," he says. "I'll go get you something to eat for when you're done."
"Pizza?" Kol asks, his eyes hopeful.
Elijah chuckles. "Yes. With chocolate milk."
Kol still rubs his bottom and whines as he grabs the bucket to wash off the paint, but his smile doesn't fade.
Elijah takes off his cufflinks and places them into the ceramic box as Hayley enters the bedroom that evening. She's got the baby monitor in hand.
"Our little avenger is out for the count," she announces. Elijah merely nods, moving to unbutton his shirt. Hayley tilts her head. "Hey, I was just joking."
"I know," he mutters.
Hayley sets the monitor down on the nightstand and walks over, looking at him through the mirror. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, darling."
His shirt is half-off when he feels a sharp hand collide with his bottom. He looks down at Hayley in surprise. She shrugs, folding her arms over her chest.
"I don't like liars," she says.
Elijah sighs. "Darling, it's late. We can have our bath and go to bed."
"You're not seeing any of this without clothes until you start talking, mister."
When it comes to Kol, Elijah appreciates the strict side of Hayley. He often forgets how it can backfire when it comes to him. She won't let either of her boys get away with anything.
"I didn't think I minded being the serious teacher," he says. "I thought it earned me respect. Instead, clearly, these kids are going to prank me."
Hayley's features soften. "Lij, they'd do this even if you were the fun one who played hip hop music and taught them laws through memes."
Elijah tilts his head, deciding not to ask what that is. "How do you know?"
"I was a high school student nearly a decade ago," she points out. "You simply can't win with kids. If you're a hard ass, they think you're the worst and want to see you "put into your place". If you're the fun, hippy teacher, they think you're "trying too hard" and want to take that pizazz from you."
"So, it doesn't matter what I'd do? They'd hate me?"
"Hate is a very strong word. They're teenagers. For the most part, that breed is assholes."
Elijah scoffs. "I would never allow Kol to treat another adult in such a way."
"No, but you have to remember we aren't parenting this new generation. Besides, for the most part, none of them would dream of doing what those little punks had planned for you. They may roll their eyes and whisper about you, but they're relatively harmless."
Elijah exhales through his nose. Hayley cups his cheek.
"This isn't you," she whispers. "Worrying what others think of you."
"I just wanted this to be easy. Teach kids, make a difference, go home. Not having to worry about pranks or Kol trying to avenge me."
"That's all part of working in a high school, babe. These kids may not like you. It's their loss, frankly." She gives him a small smile and he matches it.
"And Kol?"
"We'll keep talking with him about it. Especially the part about using magic without our consent."
"Hopefully it sinks through."
Hayley wraps her arms around his neck. Elijah pulls her closer, kissing her nose. She smiles up at him.
"That little boy loves his daddy very much," she whispers.
"I'm quite fond of him myself," Elijah chuckles. "I probably shouldn't have gotten him pizza after all that. Maybe it undermined my message."
"I think it sunk in." She scrunches up her lips. "I may have also given him an extra cookie after dinner."
Elijah snorts, keeping a tight grip on her as they head into the bathroom. "We need to get better about spoiling him before we turn into Niklaus."
Hayley shakes her head, her wild waves flying. "Oh, I will never let us get that bad."
"I'll hold you to that," he says, kissing her cheek.
No one messes with a Mikaelson and lives to tell the tale unscathed at the very least. At least Elijah is learning that being a teacher isn't always easy.
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