"Are you sure it was a good idea leaving Joffrey in charge?" Jaime wondered aloud, glancing over his menu at Cersei.
"It's not like we had much choice. We've had this reservation for a year, and of all days it had to be the one when all six nannies went on strike." Cersei countered. With all three kids on winter break and number four due next May, Cersei desperately needed a night out. Babysitting his siblings was the least Joffrey could do for his mother.
"We could have had Tyrion babysit." Jaime suggested, regretting buying that crossbow instead of a paintball gun for Joffrey's birthday. Joffrey had been using birds and squirrels as target practice and some of them had ended up in the nannies' purses, causing them to go on strike.
"I don't trust my children with him and that whore." Cersei spat. Tyrion had started dating the prostitute in the passenger seat of his car when he was pulled over on Joffrey's birthday, but seemingly everybody but Tyrion knew she only cared about his money.
"Why did we have to go here? Couldn't we have just gone to the Cheesecake Factory?" asked Jaime.
"We had that two days ago and they didn't have what I wanted, remember? Besides, this was Brangelina's favorite restaurant and if it's good enough for them, it's good enough for us." Cersei explained. "Especially since we're the ones who are still together." she added with a smirk.
"It's nice not having to sneak around and have date nights places where nobody would recognize us." Jaime admitted.
"Maybe killing Robert wasn't such a bad idea on your part after all." Cersei conceded, reaching into the bread basket. "Is it bad that I ordered the extra 4 ounces of steak?"
"Of course not, you're eating for two." Jaime scoffed.
"Yeah, but what if I get fat? It took me 3 years to lose all the baby weight after Tommen was born and I've been eating a lot of carbs this time around." she sighed in a rare moment of self consciousness.
Jaime grabbed her hand and looked her in the eyes. "Cersei, even if you were bigger than Walda Bolton, you'd still be the most beautiful woman in the world. Every inch of you is perfect. You're beautiful, and with any luck, the baby will be as beautiful as you too, just like Myrcella."
Cersei blushed. Jaime rarely said things like this, but when he did, it made her heart flutter like she was a little girl, despite the fact that her brother was very biased because he looked just like her.
Soon the waiter arrived Cersei's filet mignon with wine sauce and macaroni and cheese and Jiame's ribeye with onions and potato puree arrived. Cersei was about to tease Jaime for getting mashed potatoes despite the fact that they were at a very expensive steakhouse, when she saw two familiar faces slide into a booth on the other side of the dining room out of the corner of her eye.
"I guess CUT will let just anyone in these days." she sneered.
"What do you mean?" asked Jaime.
"Look for yourself." Cersei chided before cutting into her steak.
Jaime looked in the direction Cersei gestured before noticing Tyrion's best friend Bronn and his girlfriend Shae canoodling in a booth across the dining room. And that wasn't even the worst part.
"She's wearing mother's favorite necklace." Jaime stated in shock.
"What?"
"The pearl choker with the emerald. She must have taken it from your room during Joff's birthday party."
"Or she put Tyrion up to take it himself. Didn't he buy her a house?" Cersei fumed.
"We'll inform the LAPD tomorrow, let's just focus on enjoying ourselves." Jaime reasoned. After the waiter took away their empty plates, they looked over the dessert menu. "Do you still want to get that chocolate souffle?" Jaime asked. Cersei was about to say yes, when her phone rang.
"Sorry, I have to take this. Hello?" she hissed into the phone. Whoever had the audacity to call her tonight was going to feel her wrath.
"Ms. Lannister? This is Tanda Stokeworth from next door. Is everything ok? One of your windows is broken. It looks like someone shot through it. Do you need me to call 911?"
"No, Tanda, I'm on my way. I'll take care of it when I get home. Don't call me again tonight. I'm busy." Cersei snapped before hanging up. "I hate to have to say it, but we're going to have to pass on the souffle and get the check. That idiot woman next door says someone shot through one of our windows and we have to get home to make sure the kids are ok. Let's just get the check."
Jaime flagged down the waiter and got out his credit card. "I'm sorry, sir, but your credit card has declined."
"That's impossible."
"Maybe you've reached your limit." the waiter suggested.
"Credit cards have limits?" Jaime asked as Cersei rolled her eyes. "Here's my debit card."
"This card expired last August. You can't use this."
"Cersei, try your card." suggested Jaime. Begrudgingly, Cersei handed her card over.
"Mine's declined too. There must be some mistake. I demand to speak to your manager."
"Cersei, there's no need for that." soothed Jaime, a vengeful glint in his eyes, "You see that couple in the booth over there? The woman in the pearl choker is an associate of ours. She'll take care of everything. Come on, Cersei, let's get out of here." Jaime told the waiter, before guiding Cersei out of the restaurant, without waiting for a response.
"I'm impressed. I didn't think you had that in you." Cersei grinned, getting in the passenger seat of Jaime's ferrari.
"She was cheating on Tyrion and stole Mother's necklace. She had it coming. You were right, Cersei. She can't be trusted." Jaime retorted.
"I hope the kids are ok." Cersei worried, as they pulled out of the parking lot. Little did she know all the chaos going on while she and Jaime were away...
Thank you to my lovely friend Lionsescaped for helping me overcome my writers block and write this chapter. The next chapter will be from the kids perspective and should be up soon.