"What the hell happened?" Jessica asked me. "Simpson is in the hospital?"
I raked my fingers through my hair nervously, my eyes on the still unconscious Kilgrave who was currently securely locked up behind thick glass. His body was sprawled awkwardly on the cot in the room we had finally managed to contain him in.
"I don't know," I answered her, rubbing the heels of my hands against my eyes roughly. It had been a long, stressful night. "One minute I'm slipping the needle into Kilgrave's neck at the dining table, next minute Simpson has me at fucking gunpoint while I'm trying to load Kilgrave into a car to bring here. I don't know anything about an explosion; I just managed to get in some good hits on Simpson and get away," I explained. "Did you tell Trish we were doing this tonight? Did she tell him?"
Jessica slumped forward onto the table in front of her, burying her face in her hands. "I may have…told Trish, yes," she admitted slowly. Her head shot up as she caught my eye. "But no one thought he'd show up and try to kill you for him."
"Simpson's been off this whole damn time, ever since I met him," I confided in her. "The way he looks at us it's like…he doesn't differentiate us from Kilgrave. Jessica, I swear he had to have known I was in that house with innocent people when he planted that bomb. I don't trust him."
She chewed her nail, her eyes sliding over to the glass enclosure. "I'm not sure I do either," she confessed. "But it's not like he doesn't know we're here now."
"He's in the hospital, what could he possibly do?" I asked her. "You said Trish made it sound bad–now it's not that I don't want him to recover, but maybe by the time he does we will have Kilgrave in custody and he can stop trying to kill him on us."
"One could only hope," she muttered.
Footsteps sounded down the hall and I jumped, feeling on edge after my encounter with Simpson. I turned, settling when I saw it was only Malcolm. I shot him a small wave and he sped down the hall faster, worry written all over his face.
"Hey, how the hell are you? Jess said Simpson tried to kill you?" he asked.
"The guy has gone off the deep end," I told him. "But I'm fine. Made it over twenty-four hours with that guy," I said, gesturing at Kilgrave behind us. "Was worth it in the end because now he's right where we want him."
"I'm going to call Hogarth," Jessica told us, pulling out her phone. "Try to get some proof of his powers even if I have to beat it out of him."
"No, you can't do that," I told her quickly, a hand darting out to stop her from dialing the lawyer. "I have some lawyer friends of mine who gave me some hypothetical advice. We need multiple reliable witnesses to accompany a tape, not just Hogarth."
"Okay, so who?" Jessica shot back.
I scratched my head for a moment, trying to think. My brain felt like it was trying to operate through a haze of fog; it was late and I'd been through enough. I was worn out.
"You said there was a cop who was skeptical of your involvement with Hope, right?" I eventually asked her.
"Yeah?"
"Well, maybe you can convince him to come here tomorrow? Witness what Kilgrave can do," I suggested. "Maybe the cop, Hogarth, Trish, and ourselves along with a recording will be enough?"
Jessica rolled her eyes. "Fine," she grumbled. "So what's the plan in the meantime? We just keep his ass in here overnight?"
I sighed, turning my attention on the unconscious Kilgrave sprawled out on the cot. "Yeah, I guess so," I breathed out.
Malcolm placed a gentle hand on my shoulder, catching my attention. He offered me a small smile which I sluggishly returned.
"Why don't you go home? Get some sleep?" he suggested. "Jessica and I can keep an eye on him. You could probably use a break from him and you look dead on your feet right now."
For a moment I paused, biting my lip in thought. It would be nice to be back in my apartment, somewhere I felt safe and secure. And maybe…maybe I could see Matt for longer than the fifteen minutes I saw him earlier this evening. With Kilgrave locked up there'd be no way for him to spy on us. I could use the comfort of his voice and his presence after everything I'd just been through.
"You sure?" I asked hesitantly, my eyes darting between him and Jessica.
She waved me off with a hand. "Go, we got this. You've done more than enough for now. Get some sleep away from the psychopath for a night because you'll need it."
I nodded and turned to go, but then paused suddenly remembering what I'd asked of Jess. I turned back around and saw the pair eyeing me curiously.
"Have you found anything on his parents yet?" I asked Jessica hopefully. "What they did to him?"
Her eyes narrowed and shifted to Malcolm briefly before landing back on me as she spoke. "I think I'm close to finding them. Here. In the city."
My eyes went wide. "What, how?" I asked her quickly.
"She thinks his mom is this nice lady who's been coming to the Kilgrave survivor group," Malcolm said, shooting Jessica an unhappy look. "She's making me get everyone together early tomorrow to find her."
"Good," I said firmly. "If it is, I need to talk to her."
Malcolm shook his head at my words, exhaling a rough sigh as he leant up against the wall, crossing his arms. "Just go get some rest," he said again, his voice strained. "We might need you fully functional for tomorrow."
My forehead rested flat against the shower tiles as the warm spray ran down my body. I let my eyes drop closed as the exhaustion of the past couple of days fell over me. Being back home in my own place, taking a warm, relaxing shower, made me even more aware of just how worn out I was.
Tomorrow probably wouldn't be any easier; Kilgrave was going to wake up and know I tricked him. He was going to be furious and whatever advantage of the small level of trust I'd gained was going to be gone. And we were going to have to find a way to goad him into showing what he can do, something that would be big enough to be believable without being inadmissible in court or taking it too far–like him forcing someone to kill themselves, for example. But I had no idea what would work short of a confession, which I knew he would never give.
I spent a few more minutes in the shower washing up before turning off the water. Grabbing the towel nearby, I stepped out and dried off before getting dressed. The moment I was hanging my towel back on the hook I heard a knock coming from the front door.
I made my way out of the bathroom and towards the door, sighing in relief when I heard Matt call out to let me know it was him. Unlocking the door as fast as I could, I yanked it open and immediately grabbed Matt by the shoulders and drew him into a tight embrace without even a second thought. He was burying his face against my neck and wrapping his arms around my waist, briskly walking me backwards into my apartment with him. He released one hand just long enough to slam the door shut behind us, feeling around to lock one of the locks.
"What happened after you left?" he asked into my neck.
I moved my head so my face was no longer buried in his chest, instead resting my left cheek against it. My eyes closed as I breathed in the comforting warm scent of him, feeling the hard muscle under my cheek. Matt shifted above me to bury his own face against the top of my head, his arms squeezing tight around my waist.
"I got him with the Sufentanil," I told him. "He didn't see it coming. I dragged him out to the car his bodyguard was using, but then Simpson showed up. Held me at gunpoint and wanted me to let him shoot Kilgrave."
Matt's hands suddenly dug into my hips roughly at the information. "You told Jessica on the phone earlier that Simpson planted a bomb?"
"Yeah, the other night when I first got there," I explained. "The guy is hellbent on killing Kilgrave. And I …" I paused, swallowing hard, "I get the feeling Jessica and I might be on his list. I don't know but the way he looks at us sometimes…"
"I won't let him hurt you," Matt promised as he placed a tender kiss in my hair.
"Why don't we sit?" I said, pulling out of the embrace.
Matt untangled himself from me and followed close behind as I headed to the couch. When I sat down, he sat right beside me, pulling me into his lap instead. I laughed lightly as he rested my head back against his shoulder and placed his head on top of mine again.
"You miss me that much?" I asked him softly, the fingers of one my hands lightly running along his bare forearm.
"You spent two days with that psychopath ex of yours, trapped like a prisoner in a house with him," he pointed out. "I had no way to contact you. No way to help you. And then I hear someone planted a bomb in the house and later held you at gunpoint." He let out a grunt. "I'm keeping you close to me tonight."
"Well," I said slowly, "I did get Kilgrave locked up. He can't spy on me tonight. And hopefully tomorrow we can get the proof to nail him for Hope's case. And maybe…maybe I might find a way to…permanently stop him." When Matt bristled under me I quickly assured him, "Not kill him, but make him powerless. I'm not sure yet, but I'm hopeful." I sighed, easing back into his embrace. "And Simpson is stuck in a hospital; he's going to make it but he shouldn't be a concern tonight at least. So…I think for once I have an evening where I can just breathe."
"You deserve it," Matt murmured in agreement.
His left hand slid up my back and began lightly massaging the back of my neck. My eyes drifted closed as I exhaled a breath, a soft noise of pleasure rolling out between my lips at his firm touch.
"Are you–do you need to go out tonight?" I asked him after a moment.
"No, not tonight," he answered as his warm hand continued working out the knots in my neck. "I told you I'm keeping you close to me tonight."
We sat silent for a few minutes, Matt's left hand massaging my neck tenderly as he continued to rest his head atop mine. Goosebumps rose along my skin as I buried my face further into his neck. His right arm was holding me against him on his lap, his hand beginning to slowly rub soothing circles on the outside of my left thigh.
My mind was intensely focused on the feel of his hand on my leg; each pass over my thin sweatpants, back and forth, caused my breathing to pick up. He began to increase the pressure of his hand as if it was moving in response to my breath. When his thumb eventually brushed just a bit lower, grazing the upper inside of my thigh lightly, my breath caught in my throat and my thighs very slightly tightened against each other. Immediately, I felt Matt's hand on my neck pause for just a moment, but when it moved again, it slid around to my chin, gripping it lightly between his fingers at the awkward angle. His head lifted from atop mine and slowly his fingers tilted my face up towards his.
He hesitated for a moment, his eyes fluttering open and landing around my cheek.
"I want to kiss you," he whispered. "But I don't know…"
"Don't know what?" I prompted, leaning closer.
"I don't know if that's okay," he answered. "I know we've kissed already but I know you didn't want to rush things either. Know you didn't want to start anything with… him still out there." He sounded almost pained as he told me, "I don't know what this is, what we're doing."
"I want this," I assured him quickly. "I want you . I just can't do a relationship, something public and tangible, until he's out of the picture. I can't risk him hurting you." I pulled back from him, my eyes traveling down to my lap. "I understand if that's not what you want."
"I want you," he answered back immediately. "I want that with you when you're able. But I don't know what's…allowed now? Am I allowed to kiss you?" he asked tentatively.
I paused, thinking for a moment. Kilgrave wasn't a threat tonight, there was no way he would know what we were doing. He was trapped in a sealed room with Jessica and Malcolm watching over him. We could have tonight…couldn't we?
"Yes, at least while we are here in my apartment," I answered finally. "Because I know tonight he's trapped and we're temporarily free of him."
"So I can do this?"
His hand pulled my face back up towards his, covering my mouth with his own. His lips moved so slow and gentle against mine; they were warm and earnest. Eagerly my mouth responded to his, my hand grabbing a fistful of his tee-shirt trying to pull him closer to me. He pulled away after a moment, resting his forehead against mine.
"Yes," I mumbled in answer.
"How about," he began, his voice suddenly low and husky, "this?"
His head dipped down towards my right ear, very gently licking my earlobe before sucking it in between his lips. I shivered at the wet warmth, goosebumps once again rising across my arms. Suddenly I felt the faint sharpness of his teeth as he lightly bit the flesh, scraping them tenderly on the delicate skin.
"Yes," I breathed out.
His head dipped lower, his mouth now gently pressed against my neck. I could feel his lips pull into a slow smile as my chin rose, giving him more access.
"And this?" he asked, his lips brushing my skin as he spoke.
I felt his teeth graze the soft skin of my neck before he bit down–hard enough to feel, but not hard enough to break the skin. At the gasp that left me, Matt's warm, wet tongue slid along the skin slowly where he'd bitten.
" Yes ," I moaned faintly.
His mouth worked at my neck for a bit longer; he began to nip and bite before gently sucking the skin into his mouth. I moaned quietly as he leisurely kissed his way down my neck, towards my clavicle, before his tongue slid its way back upwards. My hand tightened its grip around the fistful of his shirt, my other hand sliding its way down his chest and digging my nails into his hip.
I could feel the ache between my legs growing, a soft and urgent need arising as wetness began to pool between my legs. I heard Matt make a noise like a low growl when my thighs involuntarily squeezed together in search of friction, his right hand gripping my thigh hard in response as he pulled back from my neck. I watched as he licked his lips slowly, my eyes following the movement of his tongue. His eyes half closed in pleasure a moment later. My heart rate increased at the sight as I bit my lip, remembering how he'd told me before he could smell and taste the scent of my arousal in the air.
With swiftness and ease, he grabbed my hips with both hands and shifted me abruptly so I was sitting fully on his lap. His hands rested on the top of each thigh, my back pressed against his chest. I could feel how hard his cock was becoming underneath my ass and I intentionally shifted in his lap, grinding on it once. The soft moan he emitted beside my ear was encouragement enough for my hips to grind back against him again.
"Sweetheart," he breathed out as his hands gripped my thighs so hard I couldn't squirm against him again. His mouth dipped down beside my ear as he whispered, "I want to show you how you should be treated. Let me show you." His lips brushed against my ear before he practically begged, "Let me take care of you."
I bit my lip hesitantly for a moment before I eventually nodded. "Okay," I breathed out.
Both of his hands immediately shifted towards the inside of my thighs, and with a light pressure he slid them both upwards towards my thoroughly wet cunt. His hands slid over the fabric of my sweatpants as he went, making sure to move agonizingly slowly over the most sensitive place as he did. My hips bucked forward slightly in response and I moaned at the brief pressure.
"Fuck, Matt," I whined out.
He chuckled lightly beside my ear before whispering, "Is that allowed tonight?"
"At this rate I don't see how it can't be," I groaned, rolling my head back onto his broad shoulder. "You're driving me crazy, Matt."
One of his hands paused low on my stomach, his fingertips just barely resting below the top of the waistband of my sweatpants. His other hand came up to gently wrap around my exposed neck, holding my head back against his shoulder.
"Is this allowed?" he asked in all seriousness.
"If you don't touch me," I breathed out at him, "I'm going to have to take care of myself in a goddamn minute."
He gently pecked my cheek, laughing lightly. "Just wanted to be sure," he told me.
His hand slid into my sweatpants, just over my underwear at first. His fingers were gently rubbing back and forth with a delicious pressure that was only building the growing ache between my legs further, begging for a release. I was positive the fabric under his fingers was already coated with my arousal by now.
After a moment he ran his hand along the length of my covered mound before he reached the top of my panties and slipped his hand below the fabric. He groaned the moment his fingers touched the slickness between my legs before sharply biting my neck. I whined in pleasure, my hips twitching against his hand.
"You're so wet, sweetheart," Matt hissed after he released my neck from his teeth.
I could hear him panting heavily beside me as he dipped one finger into my aching cunt. I gasped, turning my head towards him and watching the look of pleasure roll across his face as his hand on my neck lightly squeezed. His head had fallen back against the couch, his eyes closed tightly, and his mouth was parted open. He inserted a second finger suddenly, pumping his fingers inside me slow and deep. The wet sound it made was loud in the near silence of my apartment.
" Matt ," I breathed out.
His eyes snapped open at the sound of his name, his head darting back up as a hungry expression crossed his face. He slid his fingers out from inside me, pulling them out of my panties as I whined at the loss of contact. My hips shifted against him again as I squirmed, looking for friction to relieve the building tension.
I watched, still squirming in his lap, as he brought his hand to his mouth and slowly lapped at the two fingers he'd just been fucking me with. He moaned low before sliding them into his mouth and sucking the wet of my arousal from them.
"You taste so good," he breathed out.
His hand immediately returned under my sweatpants, beneath my panties, where he began to fuck me with this two fingers again. My back arched against his solid chest as his thumb began rubbing circles on my clit. I could feel the pressure building up as he pumped his fingers harder into me; I could feel I was getting close. His left hand released my neck, instead sliding up under my tank top and beneath the bralette I was wearing. For a moment his fingers just danced along the bottom of my left breast, fingers brushing back and forth. Then his hand slid up and engulfed my breast, kneading it and groping hard and fast. His thumb worked faster against my clit as I moaned curses into the room. His left hand began to tug and pinch at my nipple as his mouth lowered to my neck where he began to suck the skin eagerly. When my hips bucked hard into his hand, Matt slowed.
"No, don't stop," I begged, dying for a release.
"Wait," he breathed into my ear, panting in sync with me, "not yet."
He removed his hand from my panties and I cried out at the loss. His other hand slipped from out of the inside of my shirt before he gently lifted me from his lap.
"What're you doing?" I whined helplessly.
He smirked as he slid off of the couch, pushing my coffee table farther back behind him. Then in one, swift movement, he slid my sweatpants and panties down to my ankles before pulling them off fully and tossing them aside.
"I want to taste you," he told me as he lowered himself to his knees in front of me. "I want to feel you come undone against my tongue."
"Jesus Christ, Matt," I moaned, my hands reaching out for him. "You're driving me crazy."
He smirked as I leaned forward and pulled him towards me, my hands tangling into his hair as I kissed him hard. After a moment, my hands slid down to the hem of his shirt, pulling it up as I leaned back and broke the kiss.
"What're you doing?" he asked curiously as he helped me pull off his shirt.
I tossed it aside and appreciatively eyed him kneeling shirtless in front of me between my legs. The sight of his muscled chest only further increased the ache between my legs. If only I could get the sweatpants off of him…
"Just enjoying the view," I teased lightly as I sat back.
A devilish smirk pulled at his mouth as his hands grabbed both of my bare knees and pushed them apart further. He pulled himself further forward between my legs as he said, "Good, because I want you to watch as I make you cum."
And then his head lowered, his mouth planting kisses along my right thigh, trailing up towards my dripping cunt. When he reached it, he slid the flat of his tongue up the entire wet length of me. His head tipped back as he swallowed hard.
"So good," he moaned out.
He ducked his head again, the stubble of his face scratching pleasantly between my thighs as he began lapping at my cunt with a few, rough strokes of his tongue. My eyes momentarily squeezed shut, my breath hitching roughly. He soon turned his attention to my clit; he began licking lightly at first, moaning softly as he did. I could feel the pressure building back up as he worked between my legs, his tongue changing pressure and direction exactly how I needed when I needed it. My hands flew into his hair, scratching along his scalp and grabbing fistfuls of it. After a moment my eyes flew open to take in the sight of him between my legs. I realized his hand was down his pants, stroking himself in long, languid movements. I licked my lips at the sight, feeling a rush of heat at how worked up he was.
When his tongue started working in harder, rough circles on my clit, my hands tugged at his soft brown hair. His mouth moved quicker at the encouragement as his hand removed itself from his cock and out of sight. A moment later I felt two fingers inside me, fucking me hard and curling right into that spot inside of me. A loud moan flew out of me and I swore I could see stars.
" Fuck Matt, yes," I cried low. "Don't fucking stop."
His fingers pounded inside of me as his mouth sucked and licked my clit fervently. My hips ground up into him as I felt the pressure deep in me about to release.
And then suddenly my head flew back against the couch as a strangled cry escaped my throat, my hips lifting up off the couch as I orgasmed, my muscles tightening around the fingers still inside of me. One of Matt's hands was under my ass, gripping tight and holding me up as his mouth lapped up the wet from my cunt, moaning hungrily as he did.
As I slowly came down, I felt lightheaded and like the room was spinning. Tiredly I raised my head from the couch, watching as he finished licking up everything he could between my legs before he pulled his fingers out of me. My eyes glanced down and the sight of his hard cock in his hand again had me biting down on my lip.
Roughly, I grabbed him and pulled his mouth up to mine, kissing him long and hard. My hands grabbed him by the shoulders and I pulled him up when I broke apart from him.
"Your turn," I whispered.
"No, sweetheart," he protested lightly, gently holding me back from him as he stood before me, sweatpants and boxers partially pulled down to his muscled thighs. "Not tonight. I want to make you feel good."
His hard, thick cock was right at eye level with me and I swallowed hard, chewing my bottom lip. Disregarding him I reached out and tugged his clothing further down his thighs before dragging my nails back upwards. I watched as his jaw clenched at the sensation. My right hand lingered at the base of his shaft as I looked up at him.
"But what if I want to?" I whispered.
I didn't wait for an answer before I leaned forward, gripping the base of him firmer as I dragged my lips along the length of him. A strangled noise left him as I passed my lips back the other way. Very gently I licked the tip of him once, twice, three times. When his hand wound its way into my hair, gripping tight, I took him into my mouth. For a few moments my hand and mouth worked as one, pulling noises from him that I wouldn't soon forget. My free hand raked my nails gingerly along his thigh, through the thick dark hairs there. Eventually I looked up as I continued, taking in the sight of pure pleasure on his face and I moaned against his cock, my nails on his thigh lightly digging in. He let out a loud groan and immediately gripped me by the shoulders, halting me entirely.
"Not tonight," he said again, voice wavering. "Take off your shirt."
A twinge of excitement flooded me at his command and I rose up from the couch, pulling off my shirt and tossing it aside.
"Bra," he ordered next.
I slipped my arms up and out of the thin material and tossed it aside next. I was standing naked before him now.
"Aren't you going to take off your pants, too?" I teased.
Wordlessly, he pulled the remaining clothes down the rest of the way before throwing them aside. He closed the gap between us, his cock pushing into my hip as he did. His hands rose to my face, gently cupping both cheeks between them as he leaned in and kissed me sweet and slow. My hands rose to him as well; one hand playing with the hair at the back of his neck while the other was gripping his shoulder blade tight.
He began to walk me backwards for a moment, our mouths still connected. Before I knew what happened, his hands had gripped below my ass and lifted me up onto him. My legs wrapped around his waist as my arms wound their way around his neck. His mouth began to make its way down to my jaw and then my neck as he continued moving, making his way toward my bedroom I realized. My eyes closed as he sucked the skin of my neck; my hands tugged on his hair in encouragement.
The moment my back slammed into a wall, my eyes flew open, startled. He had backed me up into my bedroom wall and my hand darted towards the light switch nearby, flipping it on so I could see. With the weight of the wall helping to hold me up, Matt's mouth trailed lower. He licked along my collarbone before kissing his way down to my right breast.
One of his hands slammed onto the wall beside me as his other continued to grip my ass, kneading it roughly. His mouth hovered over my nipple which was growing stiffer by the moment from his hot breath. Slowly he leaned forward, swiping his tongue across the peak gently a few times before sucking it into his mouth. I sighed as his tongue toyed with the sensitive skin, a new ache growing between my legs all over again as he did. I could feel myself getting wet again, the warmth of my arousal leaking out against Matt's hard abdominals.
He gently bit my nipple, smiling up at me with a coy smirk as he pulled it forward between his teeth before letting it drop from his mouth. I gasped at the mix of pleasure and pain.
"Like that, do you?" he asked roughly.
My head fell back against the wall as he began licking at my left breast, toying with the nipple just like he'd done the other.
"How the fuck do you do this to me?" I breathed out.
He nuzzled into my chest just for a moment, smiling wide as his stubble rasped against my skin. "Do you want me to fuck you?" he asked gently. His mouth soon returned to my nipple, awaiting my response.
"I'd be…pretty upset if you didn't," I gasped out.
He panted out a faint chuckle as his hands grabbed back onto me and he spun, turning with me in his arms. Gingerly he laid me out on the bed before him and I watched him eagerly. He climbed up onto the bed over me, moving slow as he placed gentle kisses along my body starting at my knees, then the inside of both of my thighs, my stomach; his tongue dragged its way up from my navel to just below my breasts. He cupped each breast, one at a time, placing a few affectionate kisses against the skin, before continuing up towards my collarbone, my neck and then my jaw. He paused, hovering over my mouth last.
"You're beautiful, Olivia," he whispered, raising his weight off of one hand to stroke hair away from my face. "And you deserve to be treated right."
I grabbed him by the back of the head and pulled him hard to my mouth, crushing our lips together. I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth for a moment before lightly clamping down on it with my teeth. I released his lip and turned his head, my mouth against his ear.
"I want you, Matthew," I whispered. "Only you."
He lowered his head, planting kisses on my shoulder as I felt him rub the tip of his cock against the entrance of my slick cunt. My fingers gripped the skin of his back hard, nails digging in. He needed no further encouragement before he slid inside. My breath caught in my throat, a soft gasp escaping me at the girth of him inside me, stretching me pleasantly. He moved slow and gentle at first, his mouth now back at my neck as I tried to adjust to him.
After a few slow thrusts, I wrapped my legs around his hips, hands sliding down to grip his firm ass, and abruptly pulled him in all the way. My back arched and I cried out as he bottomed out inside of me. His mouth was back on mine, working feverishly as his hips began to slam into me hard and slow at first. My fingers dug further into his ass as my hips bucked up towards him, trying to match his pace.
I could feel the release building in me for a second time as I broke from the kiss. My hands slid up his body to cup his cheek and the back of his neck, holding his gaze with my own somehow despite him being unable to actually see me.
"I'm so close, Matt," I whispered.
His pace quickened and he began slamming his hips into me faster and faster. I licked my lips, forehead resting against Matt's as he continued to thrust deeper and deeper.
"Let go for me, sweetheart," he told me between grunts and pants. "I'm right behind you."
His words were all I needed to cum; the tight coil in my core spiraling apart as I cried out his name, lurching forward into his shoulder. He continued to pump hard, grunting louder with the exertion; after a few more thrusts I felt his cock twitching. I watched as his brows furrowed and he bit down on his lip, releasing inside of me with a warm moan as his head dropped to my shoulder.
"That's it, Matt," I encouraged, dragging my nails through his hair.
Once he was fully spent inside of me, he pulled his softening cock out and collapsed just beside me, sweaty and content as he planted light kisses against the top of my shoulder. Smiling, I turned towards him and began to trace my fingers down his chest, outlining his scars as I did.
"Please tell me I won't have to wait weeks to do that again," Matt said between heavy breaths.
I laughed lightly, continuing my ministrations with my fingers. "Hopefully not because I am going to be thinking about that for a few days…"
"Only a few days?" he asked, feigning hurt.
"I'm hoping it won't be longer than a few days before that happens again," I told him as my fingers trailed down the definition between his abs towards his navel.
"So," Matt began hesitantly as he reached down and grabbed my wandering hand in one of his, "does this mean you're officially, secretly my girlfriend?"
He stroked his fingers over mine as he waited for a response.
"I don't know, am I your official, secret girlfriend now?" I asked him back, turning my head towards him.
"Yes, I'd like to think so," he answered so quickly that I giggled.
"Very sure about that, Matthew," I teased lightly.
"Well, I'd be a damn idiot to miss the chance to tell you how I really felt," he told me, bringing my hand up to his mouth and kissing the tips of my fingers. "Especially after that ."
I laughed, my head falling down onto his chest as I did. I felt his lips smile against my hand.
"That was…pretty great," I mused, resting my head on his chest.
I felt him slide his other hand beneath my shoulders, turning me so he could wrap his arm around me and run his warm palm up and down the length of my spine. My eyes fluttered shut at the affectionate gesture.
"It definitely was," Matt agreed.
I laid contentedly in silence beside him for a few moments, forgetting about everything that had been happening and all my worries. I focused on the sound of his steady heartbeat beneath my ear, the gentle rise and fall of his chest, and the feel of his hand along my back.
"You still planning to join Foggy, Karen, and I for Thanksgiving this week?" Matt asked after a bit. "They're both dying to see you again."
"Mhmm, I planned on it," I answered him. "How else will you get a homemade pumpkin pie?"
He chuckled beneath me, the movement causing my eyelids to flutter open. I tilted my head and glanced up at him. He was staring sightlessly at my ceiling, his arm behind his head and a smile on his face. I twisted a bit upright, resting my chin on his chest.
"What're you thinking about?" I asked him curiously.
His head turned a bit in my direction and his smile widened.
"You," he told me. "And how happy being around you makes me."
I couldn't stop the smile spreading across my own face at his words. A blush crept up along my cheeks at his admission. The hand behind his head reached out and gently brushed my cheek.
"You're blushing," he observed aloud. "After what we just did why would that make you blush?"
I glanced down nervously, tracing my finger along his bare chest. Matt pushed himself slightly upright, his brows knitting together.
"Your heartbeat–you sound nervous," he pointed out. "Did I…do something wrong? Say something wrong?"
"No, no!" I responded abruptly, head darting back up. "No, not that at all," I told him more calmly, watching his expression relax. "I've just never…experienced this before," I admitted awkwardly. "The relationship I had with…with him wasn't like this, even before when he wasn't drugging me. I mean I did the whole one night stand thing before, in Alaska briefly, but I've never met someone who…who makes me feel like this."
Matt's head tilted to the side as his eyes rested on my left shoulder. I could feel the slight prickling of my skin, the usual telltale sign of him focusing on me. The heat in my cheeks increased as I glanced back down at my hand on his chest.
"Sorry, was that too much to admit?" I asked uncomfortably. "I don't really know how to be with someone in a healthy, non-life threatening, non-drug induced way. I–I don't really know what I'm doing–I think I already told you that once before." My hand rose from off his chest to anxiously tuck loose strands of hair behind my ear as I continued to ramble faster. "Actually, I'm pretty sure I already told you that. I'm still pretty new to relationships. And friendships. And I–"
I stopped mid-sentence when I looked up and saw the grin on his mouth. I frowned at the sight.
"You're cute when you do that," Matt told me.
"Do what?" I asked him, nervously re-tucking the same hair behind my ear again. "Embarrass myself?"
"No," he answered, gently pulling my hand from my hair and laying it back on his chest. "Ramble. Get nervous." His hand rubbed across mine. "Admit that you feel something for me."
I bit my lip awkwardly as Matt watched me in whatever way it was that he could. He looked comfortable and relaxed. Happy.
"No one's made me feel like this before either," he admitted. "Like all the shit out there, beyond this room, is worth enduring for an evening of this."
"An evening of sex?" I teased.
He laughed, the bright sound surrounding us in my room. The smile on his face was contagious.
"No," he laughed out. "I mean, yes , it definitely is, don't get me wrong. But no, I meant an evening here. With you. Laughing like this. Feeling like there's someone who cares, who understands." His fingers brushed over the knuckles of my hand on his chest for a moment before he added, "And for some reason when I'm with you…you remember how I said somehow I can tune out everything else?"
"Yes, I remember," I told him.
"I don't know if it's just some effect of being around you or if you're doing it on purpose, but it's like I can focus my senses on a smaller area. I don't hear people's pain from blocks away. I don't even hear it from people a few floors down like I usually do," he explained. "I mean I can, if I want to. But it's like your presence is just…calming. It's like for the first time since my senses heightened I feel like I can breathe when I'm around you. I feel almost…normal," he admitted. "And when I don't need to be him, be the Devil of Hell's Kitchen, I…I find myself enjoying just…feeling like this with you. Being able to just focus on us without all the outside distractions…"
I leaned down and placed a kiss on his chest. "I like it, too," I admitted. "But I'm definitely not doing that intentionally. Maybe you're just in tune to my mental shield or whatever it is? I've noticed I can tell when you really focus on me with your senses; I can feel it."
"Whatever it is," he said, wrapping his hand around mine now, "I enjoy it."
A small, sad sigh left me as I added, "I just wish this didn't have to remain a secret. I wish I didn't have to wonder when we can be like this again."
"I feel the same," he confessed, squeezing my hand.
A moment later a smirk crossed his lips and I quirked a brow at him.
"What?" I asked him.
"If we don't know when this can happen again…" he said, his voice trailing off as his hand slid its way up my arm slowly. "Maybe we should do that again. Just to make sure we really took advantage of the opportunity."
I grinned back at him, throwing my leg over his hips and pulling myself up onto him, straddling him. I planted my palms flat onto his chest before lightly scratching my nails down his skin toward his defined abs. His hips bucked up underneath me and I felt his cock hardening at the gesture.
"Mmm maybe we need to do that another two times," I said, leaning forward until my face was hovering just over his. "Just to be sure."
"I think you're onto something," he said.
And then he gripped the back of my head in his large palm and roughly pulled my mouth back down to his.