The moment I entered my apartment, my body was wracked with shivers. My teeth clattered against each other as I struggled to unzip my boots, falling into the front door because my legs were so numb from the hours in and out of the cold all day and night. My freezing fingers were sluggish and slow trying to grab the zipper and I was feeling the weight of my exhaustion; I eventually gave up. Frustrated, cold, and drained I slid down the front door to the floor with a groan. My head fell back against the door with a soft thud , my eyes falling shut as I shivered and curled in on myself, my arms wrapping tight around my knees.
Maybe I can just sleep here for a bit…
My body wouldn't stop shaking long enough for me to get comfortable though and I let out another groan of frustration. And then I heard a noise coming from around the entry hall wall; it sounded like something had fallen near the kitchen, but it wasn't a loud noise, almost muffled. It was hard to focus on the sound around the chattering of my teeth.
I tried to rise, hoping I wasn't about to find Kilgrave in my apartment because I was in no shape to fight him off. A moment later I saw a shadow standing at the end of the hall from me. For a brief moment I was gripped with fear, afraid there was a burglar in my apartment until he spoke.
"Liv?"
I frowned, brows knitting together. "Matt?" I asked, confused.
He rushed down the hall towards me and knelt at my side. Shaking frantically, I hugged my arms tighter around myself, staring at him in surprise.
"Wh-what are y-you doing here?" I asked him between the chattering of my teeth.
He rose to his feet, flipping on the light that I hadn't managed to turn on yet. When he knelt back down, I could see the downward curve of his mouth. His mask was still covering most of his face but I could read the concern in the shape of his lips and the tone of his voice.
"I told you I was going to follow you home," he answered, reaching up and pulling his mask off of his face.
Without the fabric obstructing his features, I could see the way the corners of his eyes creased in worry and the concern knitted in his eyebrows. His eyes were searching me for something before his hand darted forward, landing on my thigh. He hissed upon contact and began rubbing his hands against my leg.
"You're freezing!" he exclaimed.
I frowned, watching as both of his hands tried to warm my leg beneath my jeans. I couldn't feel them rubbing against my thigh with how cold my leg was, though.
"I-is this a bad t-time to admit I-I can't even fe-feel that?" I asked him through violent shakes.
He paused, his eyes narrowing and landing over my chest as his head tilted at my words. He sat for a moment, focused on my body–the familiar prickle at the back of my neck alerting me to it–before he sighed. He stood and held a hand down towards me.
"Here, get up," he said. "You need to get warm."
I stared at his offered hand for a moment, shaking hard as I tried to keep my arms wrapped around my legs. When I didn't take his hand, Matt's frown deepened.
"Liv, come on," he urged.
"I c-can't really feel my l-legs," I chattered out sheepishly.
Matt's jaw clenched tight for a moment before he crouched back down beside me. Wordlessly, he wrapped one arm under my legs and one around my back before rising back to his feet. Startled, I flung my arms around his neck at the movement, clinging to him. I could feel the body heat radiating from him as he carried me through my apartment and towards my bedroom. My eyes started to drift closed and I let my head fall against his shoulder, burrowing my face against the warm skin of his neck.
"How a-are you so wa-warm wearing no-nothing but ti-tissue paper?" I asked him.
I felt the vibration of his laugh at my question rumble through his chest. I pulled my head back just a bit, opening my eyes and watching as he turned on the light in my room.
"It's not that thin," he told me. "But I wasn't out long this time. I went out a second time. About fifteen minutes before I finally found you. I was worried…" he admitted.
He crossed the room and placed my shivering body on the edge of my bed. Guilt hit me hard again at the worry I'd caused him.
"I'm so-sorry," I mumbled as he knelt down in front of me. His head darted up at my apology. "Wa-wasn't trying to m-make you worry."
He didn't respond, instead he focused his attention on unzipping my boots. If I wasn't so tired and cold I'd have protested the action.
"How long were you outside?" he asked as he slid off one boot before turning to the next. "And why do you smell like chemicals? And blood?"
I wrapped my arms around my stomach now, trying to keep myself warm as he slid off my second boot. I was struggling to keep my eyes open now that I was sitting on my comfortable bed.
"Been i-in and out o-of the cold since two th-this afternoon," I told him. "Was checking m-morgues for Kilgrave's fa-father across the ci-city."
Matt rose back up in front of me after pulling off both of my shoes. His mouth tightened into a thin line as he surveyed me with his senses; I could feel the prickle along the back of my neck again as he did.
"When did you last sleep?" he questioned me slowly.
My eyes closed as I tried to recall how much sleep I'd gotten the other night. "Wednesday ni-night? Maybe a-a few hours. Not mu-much Thursday after Kilgrave sh-showed up. Couldn't sleep," I told him.
His expression softened as his eyes landed on my cheek. He sat down on the edge of the bed beside me, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me into him. Instinctively I curled into his warm body, my hands wedging themselves between his chest and mine as I buried my face back into his shoulder.
"Will you sleep better if I stay?" he asked lightly.
"You're su-supposed to b-be staying away fr-from me," I stuttered into his shoulder.
"Sweetheart, I'm not going to stay away from you," Matt whispered into my hair. "Especially not now when you're freezing half to death and completely worn out." He ran a hand through my hair affectionately as he asked again, "Would you sleep better if I stay?"
I sighed, nuzzling into his warm shoulder as I pressed the backs of my cold hands against his chest. The familiar scent of him filled my nose and my eyelids closed. I didn't want him to leave but he wasn't supposed to be here, either. For his safety.
"I'm trying t-to protect you," I protested faintly.
His arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me onto his lap, gathering me up into himself. I sighed contentedly again. One of his strong arms was wrapped tightly around my waist while the other was rubbing my shoulder to warm me up.
"Let me protect you tonight, Liv," he said softly. "Please."
I sat in his arms for a moment, enjoying the feel of his warmth and his hands on me. I'd never had someone worry like this for me before, not even Kilgrave. Any form of worry he'd had for me came from a place of pure self-serving selfishness. But with Matt…it was genuine; he showed me actual care and concern. He made sure I was comfortable and taken care of–he made me a priority.
"Okay," I answered just as softly.
He kissed my forehead lightly before sliding me off of him and back onto the bed. I watched with tired eyes as he got to his feet. Quickly, he pulled up the hem of his tight black shirt over his head, tossing it onto the floor. My eyes were glued to his muscular chest and arms as he undid the black belt of his pants. The moment I heard the zipper of his pants it hit me that he was undressing. My brows furrowed as I watched him nervously.
"What a-are you doing?" I asked him.
"Body heat," he said simply as he pulled his pants down his legs
My eyes lingered on him as he stood in nothing but his black boxers. I swallowed hard as he crossed the room and pulled back the sheets. When he turned back towards me I noticed how he hesitated.
"Is…this okay?" he asked tentatively. "I just figured, you're still shivering, you could use the warmth. But I can–"
"What?" I asked him, confused.
We'd slept together, why was he suddenly afraid he was crossing a line now?
"Your heart," he explained. "It's beating rapidly. I wasn't sure if I was making you uncomfortable."
Whatever heat there was in my body suddenly rushed to my cheeks. I tried to peel my gaze away from his almost naked body but I couldn't. Matthew Murdock was an incredibly handsome man, and having him half naked about to get into bed with me…was hard to ignore.
"It's uh…n-not that," I whispered self-consciously, a strong shiver shaking me roughly causing him to cross the room towards me again. "You're just…v-very…"
I swallowed hard, voice trailing off as a knowing look crossed Matt's face and he smirked. He rested his hands on either side of me on the bed, leaning forward and placing a kiss on my forehead.
"That's not exactly what I had in mind to warm you up, sweetheart," he whispered huskily. "Your body needs rest, I can hear how tired it is."
"D-doesn't mean I c-can't appreciate th-the view," I muttered, causing him to laugh.
"Why don't we get into bed so you can stop shaking so hard," he suggested. "Could hear you all the way up on the roof with your teeth chattering so hard."
"F-funny," I shot sarcastically.
He grinned before eyeing me. "You uh…want to stay dressed or…?"
I glanced down at my clothes; I was wearing jeans and Jessica's slightly too tight shirt. I'd be more comfortable sleeping in my underwear, and the thought of curling up almost naked with an almost naked Matt was more than enticing. My heart stuttered in my chest at the thought and knowing Matt could hear it made me nervous.
"I can un-undress," I said meekly.
With my arms still wrapped around my chest, I got off the end of the bed and crossed the room to the light switch, turning off the light. My room was almost entirely dark except for a few trickles of city light filtering in through the sides of my curtain. As I started making my way back towards the bed, still cold but shivering a little less, I noticed Matt had already climbed into the bed and was tracking my movements with his head. He had a neutral expression on his face from what I could see in the very dim light.
When I reached my side of the bed, I undid my pants, slowly sliding them down my freezing thighs. As my fingers brushed against my bare skin I could feel the sheer cold of it and winced. It definitely hadn't been smart to walk around for so long this evening dressed in such light layers. For a moment I wondered if Jessica was freezing.
First thing she did was probably warm up with a drink.
I smiled faintly at the thought–that was definitely what she would've done.
Once I had slipped out of my shirt, I slid into the bed beside Matt. He was already pulling the covers high up over both of us before I was even settled. Then his arms pulled me all the way into him until both of our fronts were pressed tightly together; his warm flesh flush against my icy skin. My hands slid up his chest as his wrapped around me; one of his arms around my upper back, the other wrapped around my waist, just barely above my ass. He tugged me in tighter, burrowing my head just under his on the pillow so my face was buried in the warm skin of his neck. And then I felt his legs maneuvering at the bottom of the bed. He slid one thigh on top of my leg and his other he wedged between my legs; I tried hard to ignore the slight twinge of arousal at the friction and warmth of him in between my legs.
"You're so damn cold, Liv," he muttered.
I felt him begin to rub his hands against my skin, trying to warm me up. His thighs squeezed tight against mine, the movement once again causing his upper thigh to brush against me in a more than pleasant way. He was pressed so tight against me that I could feel his cock near the inside of my upper thigh. I bit my lip, exhaling a little shakily and trying to calm my heart. I heard his soft laugh just above my head.
" How do you have the energy to be thinking about that right now?" he asked.
"I can't c-control my reaction to y-you," I shot back.
"Get some sleep, Liv," he said, though I could hear the smirk in his tone.
I repositioned my face so I was resting against his broad shoulder, his head still protectively above my own with his chin just resting on the top of it. His hands had slowed their movements, now just rubbing gently and affectionately over my skin. My body had begun to warm up again, the stinging pain of cold no longer present in my limbs. Instead, my body felt heavy with sleep and I allowed my eyes to close. Wrapped up against Matt so tight, I felt safe in a way I never had before and I quickly drifted off to sleep.
My eyes gradually opened and were met with the dark of my bedroom. It took me a moment to remember that I was tangled up against Matt, who was currently asleep judging from his even breaths. I smiled, pulling my head away a bit and looking up at him. He looked peaceful and content, his lips slightly upturned at the corners.
And then I noticed the hard bulge pressed against the inside of my thigh and my breath caught. I bit my lip, a twinge of arousal forming low in my gut at the feel of it against me. Matt's hips gently moved backwards on the bed, his leg slightly sliding back from between my thighs for a moment as he released a soft sigh. I bit down harder on my lip when his thigh very slowly slid forward again, rubbing so agonizingly slow and delicious along my sensitive clit despite the underwear I had on. It took my brain a few moments to realize, as the action continued, that he was lightly humping me in his sleep. My brows rose in surprise at the realization as he slowly repeated the movements with his hips.
"Mmm, Liv," Matt moaned, barely audible.
My eyes darted up, assuming he was awake now–but no, he was still asleep.
Is he…dreaming about me?
That thought, paired with the way he'd so softly moaned my name while grinding against me in his sleep, was beginning to do things to me– many things. It didn't help that his large, muscular thigh was still pressed right up against me between my own thighs as he so faintly rutted his hips against mine, his thigh still sliding a pleasant friction back and forth against me. I inhaled a sharp breath, closing my eyes and trying to fight the growing arousal.
His hand that was wrapped low around my waist tightened against the top of my ass, pulling me tighter against his rapidly hardening cock as he released a soft exhale of pleasure. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter now–I was well and fully aroused by this point while he was still asleep.
"God dammit , Matt," I whined.
A low rumble like a growl suddenly came from him. My eyes darted open and I looked up; his eyes were open now but clearly darkened with hunger as he stared down towards me. He inhaled deep before licking his lips, moaning softly.
" Fuck , sweetheart," he hissed. "I can smell how bad you want me." His head slowly rolled back against the pillow, his eyes closing as his lips parted slightly. His tongue gently rolled along his lips a moment later as if he was savoring the taste and his expression twisted into a pained look. "So good," he nearly whined. "You're killing me."
"Me?" I questioned breathlessly. "You're the one teasing me with a hard cock in your sleep," I shot back.
His brows knitted together at my words as his head lowered to face mine. "I was?" he asked in shock.
" Yes ," I told him, frustrated. "It's definitely your fault that I'm so worked up right now."
I felt his hands slide down to cup my ass lightly; the warmth of his palms on each cheek only fueling my arousal. He lowered his face until his forehead was resting against mine, his eyes closed. I watched him curiously, waiting for him to say or do something– anything . After a moment he finally spoke.
"Maybe I should do something about that for you, hmm?" he mumbled.
"Maybe you should," I breathed out in response.
Immediately his hands gripped my ass tight, earning a surprised gasp from me. His thigh wedged further upwards against my now damp panties. I watched as he grinned when my legs clamped tight around his thigh. He used his hands on my ass to slide my hips very slowly up towards his, dragging my covered, sensitive clit along his thigh at the movement. I moaned faintly at the continuation of the pleasant friction, the sound only further encouraging him to slide my hips backward down his thigh before pulling them back up again.
" Matt ."
His name came from my lips as a quiet moan as my hips began grinding back and forth with the movements of his hands.
His mouth dropped down to my neck where he lazily placed wet, open-mouthed kisses against my skin. "I'm right here, sweetheart," he murmured against my skin in between kisses.
My hands slid around him, one hand grabbing firmly onto his ass while the other slid up, gripping his shoulder tightly. His hands continued to hold firm to my ass as they worked in conjunction with my hips, sliding me back and forth at a rapidly increasing pace. I moaned again, feeling a tightness building deep inside of me. Matt's teeth nipped at my neck at the sound and I shivered slightly–not from the cold this time.
My breathing was starting to come in heavy pants and gasps; he was pushing his thigh up into me as he continued to rapidly slide my hips back and forth across it. With every pass of my hips into his, his hard cock pressed into the upper part of my thigh and I found myself getting wetter at the anticipation of him inside of me again. The nails on my left hand were digging firmly into the soft skin of his back; my head rolling back against my pillow as a soft cry escaped my lips at the building pleasure. My right hand tightened on his firm ass, pulling him in tighter against me–I needed more of him and that need for more was starting to drive me crazy. My head flew forward and I roughly caught his lips with my own, smashing them fiercely together. My hips began grinding faster as his hands worked in tandem with them.
A faint whine came from my throat as I broke away from his mouth. " Fuck ," the curse came out as a whimper.
"What do you want, sweetheart?" he asked me, his mouth suddenly beside my ear.
"I want you," I whined out. "I need you."
He nipped at my earlobe briefly, pulling it gently between his teeth before he swiped his tongue along the delicate skin. "How do you want me?" he asked.
I groaned in frustration; I just needed to feel him inside of me.
"Just fuck me," I gasped out. " Please ."
His hands released my ass and he slid his thigh out from between mine. I groaned again at the loss; my thighs pressing tight together over nothing now. As I opened my eyes, I saw him removing his boxers at the side of the bed. His hardened cock sprang forward, no longer restrained by the fabric and I instinctively licked my lips at the sight. He was so damn beautiful.
And then he was back on the bed, straddling his legs over me as he quickly yanked my panties off before unclasping my bra effortlessly, tossing both over the side of the bed. He grabbed my hips and roughly rolled me onto my stomach underneath him. I braced myself on my elbows, both hands splayed flat across the bed as I turned over my shoulder to watch him. Still straddled on the outside of my legs, he pressed his thighs against mine as he lined his cock up with my cunt. I felt him rub the tip of himself against the wetness he found there for a moment, a few swipes back and forth as he groaned low and his head just faintly fell backwards. And then he slipped inside of me and I gasped in pleasant surprise as he stretched me, filling me entirely.
He adjusted himself behind me as I lay flat under him, my ass raised up a bit towards his hips to give him better access to me. Then he stretched himself up over the back of me, keeping most of his weight on his hands that were now on either side of my shoulders, trying to keep his full weight from crushing me. I turned my head a bit further over my shoulder; Matt's face was right there, his warm breath falling over my face and my shoulder as his hips slowly began pumping into me. I leaned further towards him, catching his mouth with mine and kissing him deeply. I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth, slowly running my tongue along it back and forth before biting and tugging against it. He thrust his hips roughly forward as I did, throwing himself deep inside of me in a single stroke. I gasped loudly, releasing his lip as the sound echoed through the room. A satisfied smirk crossed his mouth as his hips pulled back before slamming hard back into me again; this time I cried out as he bottomed out inside of me, my fingers gripping the sheets of my bed tight.
He leaned down, taking my shoulder between his teeth as he began to pump into me slow and steady, his hips slamming loudly into my ass with each stroke. His chest was pressed against my back and I felt him shift his weight forward onto his left arm as his right hand slid underneath to cup my right breast, squeezing and kneading it. I sighed softly, reveling in the feel of him pressed entirely to the back of me as he continued to fuck me slow. His hand slid down my stomach and paused, his fingers resting on my clit as they began to rub tantalizing circles. My head rolled back onto his shoulder behind me as I began to pant hard, my hips slamming backwards into each of his thrusts with my ass.
"Is this what you wanted?" his deep voice asked beside my ear.
"Yes," I breathed out. "Fuck, Matt, don't stop ." My right hand flew up, fingers raking through his hair as I begged, "Please don't stop."
He continued to thrust forcefully into me, grunting and breathing hard beside my ear. I could feel myself getting closer to my climax even though his hand suddenly disappeared from my clit. But it immediately reappeared, wrapping around my throat with enough pressure to feel it but not enough to actually choke me. My eyes closed and I cried out his name. His hand removed itself from my throat before finding its way into my hair; he gripped a fistful with just the right amount of force and pulled my head even further backwards over his shoulder so I was looking up at him.
"Cry my name again," he ordered, hand tugging my hair a little.
I licked my lips, enjoying the sight of him. He was breathing hard with a slight sheen of sweat on his forehead, his dark hair mussed and his eyes partially lidded in pleasure. His teeth were gritted shut and he grunted with each thrust of his hips. When I took too long to comply, he thrust forward particularly hard, holding himself deep inside of me as he did.
" Matt !"
His name came out as a high-pitched cry from my mouth and his head dipped down to my throat, his teeth clamping tight around my neck in response. His hips continued their thrusts, though they were becoming quick and sloppy in their movements. I could feel that tight coil in my core about to release as both of my hands were gripping the sheets tight in my fists; high, breathy whines escaping me as my brows pulled together.
"Cum for me, sweetheart," he ordered, voice tight and breathy beside my ear.
His deep voice pushed me over the edge; I could feel my cunt tightening around his cock as he continued to frantically pump himself into me. Both of us cried out, the sound mingling together in my darkened bedroom. He thrust himself into me a few more times before he collapsed partially on top of my back as his softening cock slid out of me. I was breathing hard and lightheaded, my eyes closing as my head fell forward onto the pillow. One of Matt's hands slid its way onto my back, his thumb gently rubbing affectionately against my skin as he panted hard beside me.
After a moment I turned my head in his direction, my eyes opening and taking in the sight of Matt beside me. I smiled softly, his face just a couple of inches from mine now. His eyes were closed and there was a blissful, contented smile on his face. I reached out a hand, gently cupping his cheek. He hummed happily at the contact, his hand sliding down to my waist and tugging me up against him.
"Better?" he mumbled.
I watched as his eyes opened, the sightless gaze falling on my right eye. Grinning, I pulled him in for a soft kiss.
"Mhmm," I hummed in reply. "You?"
He grinned, playfully biting my lip for a moment before he answered. "Much better," he assured me.
I rolled onto my side, allowing Matt to pull me fully in against him before he rose halfway, reaching down for the sheets that had gotten tangled up towards the end of the bed and pulling them up over us. I smiled when he settled back beside me, his lips against my forehead leaving a lingering kiss.
"You should get more sleep, sweetheart," he whispered. "Your body needs it."
I laughed lightly, my arm wrapping around his waist. "Especially after that," I mumbled, earning a chuckle from him.
My arms wrapped around his warm torso as his hand began rubbing soothingly back and forth across my back as it had done earlier. The two of us were snuggled up together naked under my covers and a contented smile stretched across my lips as my eyes drifted closed yet again.
My mind briefly drifted to thoughts of Kilgrave as I tried to relax and fall back asleep despite my best efforts to push them away. I couldn't shake the thoughts about the danger he posed for Matt; I needed to deal with him soon because I did not want to give up whatever this was between us. I cared about Matt, more than I had cared about anyone before, and the realization of that terrified me. Not just because Kilgrave would most certainly kill him if he found out, but because I didn't know how to navigate feelings like this–I'd never experienced them before. First and foremost, I needed to eliminate the threat of Kilgrave one way or another so I could focus on figuring out this not-a-relationship relationship before I messed it up.
"You're tense," Matt noted, voice quiet but loud enough to disrupt the silence of the darkened room.
My eyes opened and I glanced up; Matt's unseeing eyes were also open, gazing towards me from where his head rested against the pillow. His eyebrows were pinched together, the corners of his mouth downturned. He looked…nervous? Upset?
"Are you…" he began again, swallowing hard as he paused nervously, "regretting that?"
My mouth slightly parted in shock at his question. "What?" I asked him.
"You uh…said you wanted me to stay away and now here I am," he explained, speaking a little fast, "in your bed. We just slept together. Again. Now you seem bothered. Was that…are you upset?"
"No, no," I answered him quickly, my hand rising to his face. I brushed my fingers along his cheek, watching as his eyes closed at my touch, the creases of worry slowly easing out of his face. "I'm…I'm sorry about ignoring you like that all day. Maybe that's…not the right call here?" I shook my head. "I just want you to stay off of Kilgrave's radar. I can't promise I'll always be around to keep him away from you," I told him. I winced when I remembered how he'd gotten away from me yesterday morning and how Hope had died. How I'd failed yet again because I was so weak . "And I can't…I can't promise I'll always be strong enough to fight him off. Matt I–" my eyes darted up towards his, my words getting caught in my throat suddenly. I swallowed the emotion down hard, fighting the sting of tears behind my eyes as I stared at his handsome face. He was staring straight towards me, eyebrows raised expectantly as his lips parted slightly; I could feel how focused he was on me in that moment. I gently stroked my fingers down his jawline, a sad smile on my face. "Matt, I care about you," I continued carefully. "I can't lose you. I've…I've never had anyone in my life before who knew who I really am–what I can do–and wasn't trying to just…just… use me for whatever purpose they wanted," I told him. "You see me for who I am and you're not terrified of me. But I need to keep you safe from him , too. I just…I don't know how I do that without pushing you away and losing you," I whispered.
"You're not going to lose me," he whispered back. "But you also can't just go silent on me." His jaw tightened as his hand stopped rubbing my back. "You can't shut me out, Liv. That won't work. And you have to trust that I can handle myself. We can just…stay out of the public eye together for now. If you'd just let me help–"
" No ," I cut him off firmly. "You're not going near him."
Matt sighed in frustration. "I can at least try to keep an eye out for him, as the Devil. Help you find him."
I sat upright immediately, shaking my head roughly. My heart was hammering in my chest at his suggestion. "No!" I shot back, voice rising in fear. "No, Matt you can't! You can't just–you're not immune to his abilities!" My voice was increasing in octave and Matt quickly sat up beside me, placing his hands gently on my shoulders as I continued to panic. "He's going to want you dead, don't you get it? He will kill you ! Fuck, I–"
"Hey, hey, Liv, breathe," he urged gently, cutting me off.
One of his hands tenderly swept some hair behind my ear as he did his best to hold my gaze. I was shaking in fear underneath his hands, my breathing erratic. Images of Matt bloodied and dying kept flashing through my mind; Matt stabbing his chest open and reaching inside for his heart, screaming in pain. Matt pale and lying face up on my bed, a red line sliced deep across his throat. Matt holding a revolver to his head, pulling the trigger until the bullet loaded into the chamber.
"Olivia!"
I jumped at the sharp sound of my name, my eyes wide as I took in the sight of Matt in front of me. Alive, breathing, and staring at me in concern as his warm hands cupped both sides of my face.
"Come back to me, sweetheart," he urged. "Breathe. You're here with me, safe in your bed. It's okay. We're okay."
I swallowed hard and tried to focus on my breathing. I shook my head slowly this time, a few stray tears falling down my face.
"Promise me," I told him firmly. "Promise me you won't go looking for him."
"Liv–"
" Promise me !" I snapped. "Or so help me, Matt, I will walk out my front door now and disappear from your life. This isn't a joke!"
"Okay, I promise, Liv. I won't look for him," he said quickly. "Just…just don't leave. Please."
He pulled me into his arms and I clung to him, throwing my own arms around his waist and burying my face into his chest. One of his hands was softly running through my hair and the rhythmic movement eventually began calming me.
"I don't want to leave," I whispered. "But I want you safe more."
"I'll stay out of it," Matt promised again. "Can we…can we just relax? Get some rest?"
I nodded against his chest before lowering back down onto my bed beside him. He pulled me back into himself and I wrapped my body around him; both of us seeking comfort and reassurance from the other with the way we held on.
"I care about you too, Liv," he whispered. He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. "I just want you safe and happy."
Silence fell between us as we each took comfort in the feel of the other–no words needed. Eventually we both drifted back to sleep.