A/N: Just an AU story I wrote for fun. Takes place between Seasons 7 & 8.
Audrey looked at herself in the mirror of the bridal suite. She looked exactly as she was supposed to look - bridal. Her V-neck dress was satin and hugged her figure. She didn't love how plain it was, but felt it was appropriate for a second wedding. Her hair was done up in an elegant bun without a strand of hair out of place.
She took a deep breath and exhaled. She had convinced herself that if she kept up the façade of happiness that she had been faking for the past two years that eventually it would stick. Instead, she stood in front of the mirror wondering how she was about to marry a man she was not in love with. She wondered how she could not be in love with him after everything he had done for her. Mark was a good man. Hard-working. Attentive. Attractive. Yet, she could not be fully in the relationship. And, he was a good man for looking past that.
"You look stunning!" Audrey's friend, Jen, said as she came back into the room.
"Thanks," Audrey said, unenthusiastically.
Jen could sense the hesitancy in Audrey's voice. "I'm not sure what to say."
"Convince me that this is right," Audrey begged her.
"I do think it's right," Jen insisted. She had known Audrey since college. She had been there through Paul, Jack, and Audrey's return from China. She knew Audrey still loved Jack. But, Jack was gone. And, Mark was good to Audrey. Jen didn't believe that Audrey would find someone she loved the way she loved Jack. It was time to accept that and focus on getting the next best thing. "But, you obviously don't. So, what do you want to do?"
Audrey buried her face in her hands. "I don't know."
There was a knock on the door.
"Hey, sweetheart," James Heller greeted after being told to come in. He gave his daughter a hug. "You look beautiful."
"Thanks Dad," Audrey said, putting on a fake smile. She knew better than to tell her father that she had doubts. She had mentioned it only once and her father had been livid. Essentially, he told her to forget about Jack. Jack had abandoned her after China and dwelling on someone like that wasn't worth her time.
"Well, everything is set up. You'll be ready in fifteen minutes?" Heller asked. Audrey nodded. He handed her an envelope. "Good. Here - Mark asked me to give that to you."
Audrey smiled. She said goodbye to her father so that he could finish getting ready.
"What did Mark get you?" Jenna asked.
Audrey opened the envelope and read the card that Mark wrote to her. A tear fell from her eyes. Not because the words of love moved her, but because she felt terrible for not feeling the same.
"I think I want to leave," Audrey whispered. Jen almost didn't hear her but then realized.
"Like leave here and not get married?" Jen asked, surprised. She knew Audrey was unsure but didn't expect that she would actually do something about it.
"I have somewhere I need to go," Audrey told her in a rush. "Will you stall for me?"
"Where are you going?" Jen asked. "How long will you be? Are you coming back?"
"I don't know yet."
Audrey picked up the bottom of her dress so she could walk quickly out the back door. She made her way to the street. She looked up to see the tall buildings of New York City. It didn't take long to hail a taxi. She pulled up the address she had saved on her phone and showed it to the driver.
Jack had just sat down after cleaning his apartment when he heard a knock at the door. He looked at the clock on the wall and knew it was too early to be Kim with Teri.
Jack opened the door and his jaw dropped. He wasn't sure what was making him more speechless - how beautiful Audrey looked or the fact she was even at his door at all. He looked her over and saw that she was wearing a wedding dress that hugged every curve of her body perfectly. He finally locked eyes with her again.
"Hi," she whispered, breaking the silence.
"Audrey," he whispered, still in shock. He stared at her, unsure of what else to say. "I - um-"
"Can I come in?" Audrey asked, unable to stop herself from grinning. She thought his inability to form a thought was endearing.
"Yeah. Of course," he said, moving to the side to let her in. He rubbed the tips of his fingers together nervously. He had no idea what to expect. Did she hate him? Did she miss him? Did she come here to blame him for everything that had happened to her in China?
She peered around his apartment looking around to get a sense of how his life was going. Mostly looking to see if there was any sign of a girlfriend.
"Nice place," Audrey complimented, tapping her palms nervously against her sides.
"Yeah. It's small but it works," Jack agreed.
"Well, New York is pretty expensive so-"
"What are you doing here?" Jack asked, cutting her off. He couldn't take the small talk anymore. He needed to know why she came. Audrey was taken aback and he realized he had said it too harshly, as if he wasn't happy to see her. He grabbed her hand and let his concerned expression soften. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm just surprised to see you."
"I came because," Audrey started, looking at her feet. It seemed like she was gathering the courage to say it. "Because, I love you. I love you and I miss you. And, I know it's been years but I've never been able to shake that feeling. I love you, Jack."
Audrey was now close to Jack, their foreheads touching gently like old times. Audrey wished she could hear what he was thinking.
"You're in a wedding dress," Jack told her, fighting every urge he had to pull her in, kiss her, and tell her he felt the same way.
"I don't want to marry him. I don't love him."
"Then don't," Jack told her. "But, not because of me."
"But, it is because of you," Audrey admitted, her nose brushing against his. "I can't stop thinking that you and I are supposed to be together. That maybe there's still a chance that you love me too."
"Audrey," Jack sighed, trying to tell her to let it go.
"Tell me you don't love me and I'll go."
Jack pulled back so he could look at her better. He wanted to be able to tell her that. She deserved closure so that she could move on and no longer have the risk associated with being with him. But, as he was about to lie to her, he looked into her glossy sea green eyes and couldn't help himself.
"I still love you, Audrey," Jack admitted. Audrey smiled and kissed him. Jack kissed her back. The kiss was slow as they were relearning each other. Jack's hands cupped her cheeks.
As they melted into each other, the kiss turned more passionate. Audrey pulled Jack closer by the front of his shirt. Jack's hand moved to the back of her neck to pull her closer, and unraveled her hair from its updo. Jack ran his hand through her hair, forgetting just how soft it was. When they finally needed air, Audrey smiled as they stopped kissing.
"Please tell me I'm not dreaming," she pleaded.
Jack smiled. "You're not dreaming."
Audrey moved to kiss him again, but Jack held her back by the shoulders as he remembered the dress she was wearing.
"Audrey," he sighed. "We can't. You're supposed to be getting married today."
"Well, it's over. I'll call Mark and tell him that if that's what you want."
"No, that's not what I want," Jack insisted, the words feeling like they were stuck in his chest uncomfortably. "I want you to go marry him."
Audrey looked at him confused. "You said you still love me."
"I do," Jack agreed. "But, that doesn't mean we should be together, Audrey. You deserve better."
"Jack," Audrey pleaded. "Don't say that. Why would you think that being married to someone I don't love is better for me than being with you?"
"Because, people around me die, or get hurt, or end up drugged and tortured in Chinese prisons," Jack reminded her.
Audrey's face fell. "That wasn't your fault."
"Of course it was."
"Oh Jack," Audrey consoled, grabbing his hands. "It wasn't your fault. You never asked me to go to China. I was reckless. That hardly makes it your fault."
"You were brave and selfless," Jack told her. "But, you wouldn't have needed to be if it weren't for me."
Audrey shook her head. "Even if somehow it was your fault - which it wasn't - it doesn't mean we shouldn't be together. It doesn't mean that anything else will happen to me. I want to be with you."
"I don't know, Audrey. I don't think it's a good idea. I want to protect you. It's safer for you without me."
"You're too hard on yourself. I can protect myself. Do you even still do field work?"
"No, but-"
"Then, there's nothing to worry about anyway!"
"Audrey, look, it doesn't matter what you say. We can't be together." Jack knew he was making the right choice. He had made that decision years earlier and wasn't going to let her convince him otherwise. The hurt on Audrey's face was evident. "I'm sorry."
They heard the lock of the door turning. Audrey bit her lip, expecting that maybe it was a woman. A girlfriend. Maybe Jack was pushing her away with nonsensical statements about protecting her so he didn't have to tell her that he had actually moved on.
"Hey Dad!" Kim whispered, joining them inside. She was carrying Teri who had fallen asleep in her arms. She saw Audrey and smiled in surprise.
"Audrey!" she greeted happily, still whispering to keep the child quiet. She saw that Audrey was in a wedding dress. "Are you two eloping or something?"
Audrey looked at Jack, looking for him to say something that would make her think she should stay. Jack looked away.
Audrey let out a humorless scoff of disbelief. He had said he loved her but was sending her away. Her eyes filled with tears. "I guess not. I should go."
Audrey walked as quickly as she could out of the apartment.
"What just happened?" Kim asked, setting Teri on the couch to finish her nap.
"Nothing. She was just in the area and stopped by," Jack lied. Truthfully, letting Audrey walk out the door had been extremely difficult. Jack had already dealt with letting her go before, back when she had returned from China. But, in that situation, she was asleep and unresponsive. Her face showed no emotion. He couldn't see the pain and disappointment that he could see this time. He hated knowing he caused her pain. He hated knowing that she would go back and marry a guy she doesn't love and simply settle. He wanted more than that for her. But, he couldn't be the one to give her that.
"She just decided to stop by? In a wedding dress?"
"She's getting married today," Jack answered.
"She's getting married today and she came to see you?" Kim asked, still confused. "That's not nothing. She obviously doesn't want to get married to whoever she's marrying."
Jack shrugged. "She just had cold feet. She'll get over it."
"Dad," Kim sighed. "She still loves you. Doesn't she?"
Jack nodded.
"So, you're over her?" Kim asked.
"It's been years since I've even seen her."
"That doesn't really answer the question," Kim argued. "Do you love her?"
"I'll always love her, but that doesn't mean we're right for each other," Jack explained.
"You're lying," Kim said. "You want to be with her. I know it."
"Why do you say that?"
"You haven't been with anyone since Audrey. At least, not that I know of."
Jack shrugged. "Haven't met anyone else."
"Because you love her."
"It doesn't really matter anymore," Jack said, sadly. "She's going to get married and she'll be fine."
"She'd call it off if you asked her to," Kim insisted.
Jack considered it. He wanted to. "The last thing Audrey needs is me. I chose to leave so she could have a good life. She put her life at stake to try to get me out of China. The only thing that will keep her safe is being far away from me."
"Really?" Kim asked, skeptically. "What about me? You let me back in. I saved your life with that stem cell transplant and there was risk. But, you don't send me away and tell me it's not safe. You're not - I don't know how to put it-"
"Cursed," Jack finished for her. James Heller's words ringing through his head.
"Exactly. You aren't cursed. And, being out of the field now, I don't see how being with you is dangerous in any way."
Jack felt like Kim was persuading him. "It doesn't matter. I have no idea how to contact her even if I wanted to."
Kim rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone. "You're so old."
She searched the internet with Audrey's name and the word 'wedding' and found their wedding website. "Everyone makes these wedding websites nowadays. She's getting married at the Loeb Boathouse in Central Park. It's only ten minutes away."
"I don't know," Jack said.
"Dad, you deserve happiness too. Please do this."
Jack nodded. Kim ushered her father out the door.
Audrey snuck back into the bridal suite and found Jen and her father waiting for her.
"Where the hell were you?" Heller asked.
"I was just-" Audrey started, looking to Jen to see what lie had been told on her behalf.
"Did you find your mom's necklace?" Jen asked, trying to help.
"You know, I thought I left it at the hotel but actually I think it was in my makeup bag," Audrey lied. She went over to her makeup bag. "Yep, right here. Sorry. You know how forgetful I can be."
Heller shook his head at his daughter, not sure whether or not to believe her. "I will tell Mark you're back. Be ready in ten minutes. Don't leave this time."
Audrey nodded. As soon as her father left, Audrey collapsed onto the floor and cried. Jen sat with her and rubbed her back.
"What happened?" Jen asked.
"I saw Jack," Audrey cried.
"He's moved on?"
Audrey shook her head. "He said he loved me and we kissed and I thought-. But, he didn't want to be with me."
"I'm so sorry, Audrey," Jen said, hugging her friend.
Audrey wiped the tears from her eyes.
"So, what now?"
"Now, I get married. What other choice do I have?"
"You could leave and find someone else."
"Someone else who would put up with my baggage the way Mark does? I don't think there's anyone else on the planet who would deal with the nightmares and anxiety and all the other trauma responses I have."
"He is a really good guy," Jen agreed. "Maybe this thing with Jack today is the closure you needed to move on."
Audrey shrugged. "Maybe. I should get ready."
"Your hair came out," Jen reminded her.
"It can stay down," Audrey told her. Audrey got her makeup on while Jen brushed her hair to at least make it look like she was trying to look nice. Once she was ready, or as ready as she ever would be, Audrey went out and met up with her father. They didn't speak as they waited for the music to start. They linked arms when the music started.
Just as the music started, they heard the door open behind them and turned to look. They weren't sure how anyone was late to a wedding that was already delayed almost an hour. Both Audrey and her father were shocked when Jack walked in.
"Jack?" Audrey asked, unlinking her arm with Heller's. She put her bouquet on the floor and ran over to him. "What's going on?"
Heller watched as his daughter took Jack's hands, feeling foolish for not realizing that her earlier 'errand' was going to see Jack. This was clearly not the first time they saw each other. Jack locked eyes with Heller over Audrey's shoulder for a moment before turning his attention back to Audrey. He wasn't going to let Heller convince him that he and Audrey shouldn't be together. Not again.
"You were right. I love you and I want to be with you. I would completely understand if it's too late but I needed to tell you that."
Audrey smiled.
"You need to leave Jack. We're in the middle of something here," Heller interrupted.
"Dad," Audrey sighed. "I'm not getting married."
Heller pulled her aside.
"Audie, I know you think this is a good decision but you will regret this. You and Jack haven't been together in years. You don't know that you're even going to still like him. You've changed and I'm sure he has too."
"I know. But, I'm willing to try. I know we are meant to be together. I know it."
"Really? Then, why did he leave you when you needed help after China? Why has he never tried to contact you? He hasn't been there for you. But, Mark has."
Jack overheard Heller's last comment and stepped in. "I admit that I was wrong to leave. But, let's not pretend you didn't play a role in me leaving."
Audrey looked back at her father. "What does that mean?"
"I have no idea."
Audrey looked back at Jack. "What does that mean?"
Jack and Heller shared a look. "It doesn't matter."
Audrey was about to protest but Mark walked in from inside the ceremony.
"What's going on?" Mark asked, obviously frustrated that there was another delay in this wedding. He saw Jack standing next to Audrey. He knew that this man was Jack Bauer because he had seen his picture before. In a photo that his fiancee kept hidden in her jewelry box. A photo that he pretended didn't exist. Mark felt angry, knowing that Jack was here to stop Audrey from marrying him. "What the hell is he doing here?"
Audrey approached him. "Let's talk for a minute."
Audrey pulled him aside.
"Look, Mark, I-"
"You're going to leave me for him?" Mark asked, knowing where this is headed.
"I am so sorry," Audrey apologized. "You have been so good to me and I-"
"Audrey, he is dangerous," Mark tried to convince her. "And, he left you when you needed him. Who was there for you through flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks? Not Jack."
Audrey looked down at her feet. "I know. You were. It's why I've tried so hard to make this work. You have been there for me but I've always been in love with him. I know you've known that, too. But, you deserve to be with someone who is in love with you as much as I'm in love with him. This marriage wouldn't be fair to either of us."
"I guess there's nothing I can say," Mark said, defeated. Audrey apologized again and Mark walked away looking somber, unable to believe this was actually happening. Audrey walked back to Jack and her father and overheard her father's angry words with Jack.
"Don't do this, Jack," Heller warned, not seeing that Audrey was within earshot. "She finally has her life put back together. She deserves to marry someone like Mark. We agreed four years ago that Audrey was better off without you and that you wouldn't drag her back into your life to end up like your wife!"
"Dad!" Audrey scolded, taken aback by his harsh disposition towards Jack. She thought about what he had said. Four years ago? Had her father been the one who convinced Jack to leave her after China? Her mind was racing with questions but she could tell by the stern expression on both men's faces that there had been some contention between them in the past. "That was completely uncalled for."
"Audie, I'm just trying to protect you," Heller tried to reason with her.
Audrey shook her head and looked at Jack. "Let's go. Please."
Jack turned his body halfway towards the door, letting Audrey go first. Heller caught his attention as Audrey stepped away.
"Whatever happens to her, Jack, it's all on you," Heller reminded him.
Jack already knew this and worried about her fate, part of him still believing that he was cursed, just like Heller said. He nodded in acknowledgement and turned to catch up with Audrey, his hand finding its place on the small of her back, leading her to the car.
"Are you sure about this, Audrey?" Jack asked, as they got to the sidewalk.
Audrey stopped, turned to him, and pulled him into her. She kissed him deeply and Jack kissed her back, letting himself forget for a moment that they were in the middle of a bustling New York City sidewalk. It felt like they were the only two people in existence. When they pulled apart, Audrey and Jack smiled at each other.
"Come on," Jack whispered, taking her hand and leading her to the car again, feeling more confident that she was happy with this decision.
Back at Jack's apartment, Kim was beyond excited when Jack returned with Audrey. She quickly left with Teri after a brief hello, wanting Jack and Audrey to be able to talk about what would happen next for them.
However, when the door closed behind Kim, talking was clearly not the first thing on either of their minds. They found themselves tangled up with each other, making up for lost time. It had been years since they had done this with each other - eight years or so - yet found that their physical connection was still very much alive. They both felt so comfortable, not even worrying about what the other might think of their scars since they both had them.
Afterwards, they laid together, Audrey tracing her fingernail over Jack's chest. Jack brushed his fingers over the smooth skin of her shoulder.
"I can't believe this is real," Audrey whispered.
"Me neither," Jack agreed. "I've missed you so much. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you after China. I want you to know that. I just couldn't take care of -"
"Jack, stop," Audrey pleaded. "I understand. And, I've never blamed you for making that decision. I wasn't the only one who had to heal. It broke my heart when I realized but I never hated you."
Jack kissed her forehead, appreciating her forgiveness but not being able to verbalize just how much. The two of them laid in bed for hours talking about what had happened since they last saw each other and what the future held for them. Although there was a lot more to catch up on, they could agree that they never wanted to be apart from each other again.