A/N: Inspired by the scene from 9th March 2023. Canon-divergent. There will be large gaps between updates.
Disclaimer: I don't own EastEnders.
Our Legacies Hide in the Embers
I. Jean
Jean doesn't want people to think she's nosy. She's not. Well, not really. But it's hardly a crime to be interested in the goings-on on the square, is it? Because there's always so much. One drama or another, a long-lost relative here, a secret affair there. It's hardly her fault that there's so much to gossip about.
It's a typical mad morning in the Slater household. Lily and Stacey are having the usual argument upstairs for the whole world to hear, while Stacey wrangles Hope and Arthur into their school things. Alfie is banging about in the sitting room, singing at the top of his voice. And Freddie is in the kitchen with her and Eve, swinging his legs as he sits on the worktop, munching cereal at the decibel of a small car.
It's Eve who seems completely oblivious to the chaos reigning around her. Slice of toast forgotten on the side and cup of tea no doubt now stone cold, she has her head buried in her phone. She's grinning like the Cheshire cat.
Which isn't a new thing. For months she's practically been bouncing through life. Where Stacey is perpetually stressed and close to snapping, there seems to be absolutely nothing that can bring Eve crashing back from whatever cloud she's on.
Jean leans across to her now, craning her neck to get a glimpse of her phone. She sees snatches of a text: You know I like it when you talk law to me. "Who's that?"
Her eyes stray to the top of the messages, seeking out this mysterious sender who apparently has a thing for law-talk foreplay. She gets as far as S— before the phone is whipped away.
"No one," says Eve, hastily reaching for the cup of tea and taking a gulp—and promptly gagging at its temperature.
Jean rolls her eyes, but sits up in triumph as realisation hits. "The mysterious 'S'!"
"What?" says Eve, nonplussed.
"Your lady friend."
Eve's lips quirk in amusement. "Lady friend?"
"Yes!" she says impatiently. "The woman who wanted to meet you at the airport last year!"
"You got a girlfriend, Eve?" says Freddie, perking up. "Is she fit?"
"Do one, Fred," Eve grumbles. Her ears have gone a telltale pink.
"Well?" Jean says eagerly. "Do you? Who is she? When can we meet her?"
"Blimey, steady on," says Eve. "We're nowhere near that stage yet."
"So it is her!" she crows gleefully. "And I take it that she's not 'just a friend' now? Oh, how wonderful for you!"
Eve tries to shrug nonchalantly, but there's no disguising the serenity on her face. In the eighteen months that she's been living with them, Jean doesn't think she's ever seen the younger woman this happy. It's nice.
She'll be the first to admit that she'd had grave reservations about Eve at the start. The last thing she'd wanted for Stacey was for her to get mixed up with the wrong crowd, and a volatile lesbian who seemed to have no qualms about drinking too much and punching people in the face was exactly the kind of 'wrong crowd'.
But Eve has blossomed and matured. And Jean sees now what a good influence she is on her daughter. That she's level-headed in a crisis. Loyal. Cheeky and clever. A very good friend. Wonderful with the children. Personable. And beneath the layers of toughness, she has a heart of gold. It's impossible not to like her.
Jean's almost come to see her as another daughter. And she'd like to see her get her own chance at happiness now that she's put her life of crime behind her.
Perhaps this mysterious S is the person to provide that.
"You needn't be shy to bring her round," she informs Eve now. "You're part of the family. We'll all be welcoming."
"I appreciate it, Jean, I really do," says Eve. "Hopefully one day I'll be able to take you up on that. But it's not gonna be for a while."
"But you must be going steady!" Jean insists. "That text was months ago."
"Yeah, and things cooled off for a while after that," says Eve. "She needed time to think about what she really wanted. So I'm not gonna go scaring her off again by inflicting this madhouse on her before she's ready."
"We're a bunch of sweethearts!" Freddie says indignantly.
"You're a bloody nutter, Freddie. I think she needs to be eased into your madcap schemes."
"I'm an entrepreneurial genius," Freddie says, jumping down from the counter and abandoning his empty bowl in the sink. "See ya later, Nan!" And with that he's gone, before anyone can tell him to clean up after himself.
He's replaced almost immediately by Stacey, who looks harassed.
"Gimme a hand with the kids' lunches, will ya?" she says. "They're gonna be late at this rate."
Eve jumps up to assist at once, pulling out bread and butter and fillings whilst Stacey hurries around haphazardly flinging fruit into lunchboxes.
"Stacey, you must know who Eve's seeing," Jean says, determined not to lose the thread of conversation.
Stacey glances fleetingly in her wife's direction; Jean gauges from that that the answer is an affirmative. But her daughter is loyal and stubborn too, and by the looks of it she won't be breaking rank. "Ain't got a clue. I'd rather not know about all her x-rated exploits."
"And yet I was made to listen to all the gory details about you and Kheerat," says Eve. "Here." She lobs a packet of crisps across the room for the lunchbox.
Jean clamps her hands over her ears. "I don't want to know anything about my daughter's sex life."
"Lack of, you mean," Eve grins. "She's just jealous that I'm getting more than she is now."
Stacey flashes her a rude hand gesture. "Have you finished those sandwiches yet?"
"Stacey, don't do that," Jean scolds her. She turns to Eve. "And I just want to know that you're being treated well, that's all."
"Don't you go meddling," Stacey warns. "It's none of our business. We'll find out when the time is right. Maybe she's uptight and straightlaced and isn't ready to be out yet. It's not right to out someone who ain't ready, is it? Even if she does seem to like pulling all the strings."
Eve gives her a pointed look. Stacey only smirks, before turning to holler up the stairs. "Kids! Get yourselves down here right now!" She turns back to her wife. "Are you gonna open the van this morning whilst I get this lot shipped off to school?"
Eve has the grace to look abashed. "Er, yeah, about that…thing is, Stace, Suki's gonna be dropping by this morning."
Stacey narrows her eyes. "You are having a laugh. We need the van open to make money!"
"Yeah, and I will be making money! There's some contracts I need to look over, and with everyone being out this morning…"
Stacey's look is one of deepest irritation. "Oh, for God's sake, you are having me on. We've got mouths to feed, we ain't got time for that!"
Eve scowls at her, enunciating carefully. "I've just said, Nish is paying, we're not losing out on anything. But how often is this madhouse empty? It's just a couple of hours."
"Don't worry, I'll keep out of your hair," Jean says brightly.
That seems to catch Eve off-guard. "What? I thought you had a shift this morning?"
"Oh, no, it was cancelled. But don't worry, I'll be quiet as a mouse! You won't even notice I'm here."
Stacey fights back a smirk. "Sure you don't want to open the van?"
Eve grits her teeth. "Don't you want to see Harvey for a couple of hours?"
"He's got a run to Heathrow. But it doesn't matter, there's plenty of housework to do! I'll just do some cleaning while you two look at the contracts."
"Well, I'll leave you to it," says Stacey, sounding smug. "I expect you at the van later. Enjoy your time with Suki."
And with that, she flounces out of the room, shouting that if the kids aren't down in the next ten seconds then there will be hell to pay.
Eve's earlier cheer has vanished, and she heaves a deep sigh, banging her head against the table.
"Don't worry," Jean says brightly. "I won't stop you from doing what you need to do with Suki."
"Too late for that," she mutters.
An hour later, there's a knock on the door.
Eve leaps up at once. "That'll be Suki. I'll get it."
Jean only shrugs, up to her elbows in sudsy water. Eve clatters out into the hallway.
"Hello." She hears the shop keeper's voice echo down the corridor. Soft. Affectionate. Not a tone Jean's ever heard her use before.
How odd. She didn't even think that the other woman was capable of that kind of tone. She's always sneering, inflated with a sense of her own superiority, not at all likeable. It's always boggled her that Eve seems to have a soft spot for her.
Frowning, she abandons the washing up, intent on hovering by the kitchen door, but before she's got halfway there, Eve speaks, brisk and professional.
"Hey, Suki. Come in. There's been a bit of a change of plan."
"What?" Suki sounds puzzled.
"Jean's here. She said she'll leave us to it in the kitchen, but it's not gonna be as quiet as I'd thought it was gonna be. Might make it a bit more difficult to concentrate on reading through those contracts."
"Oh. Right."
"Sorry. Unless we can go to yours…?"
"No. Vinny's there, I told you."
"Right. Yeah. It's not ideal, I know."
"These things happen."
Footsteps start to draw near; Jean hurries back to the sink. Best not to look as if she's eavesdropping.
Eve's the first to enter. "Hey, Jean. Mind giving us the room now? I'll finish that off for you in a bit."
Jean glances at Suki. The business woman stands with one hand in her tailored trouser pocket, the other wrapped around a folder. It's an almost Eve-esque pose. She doesn't say anything, appraising the room. Jean feels herself bristling. Is she judging? Carrying out a silent inspection? Apart from Christmas, when she was uncharacteristically kind about the carbon monoxide fiasco, she finds her odious.
But if she's rude she'll probably be avenged with another hike in the rent.
"Of course," she says. "I'll be upstairs, cleaning the bathroom. Hello, Suki."
"Hello, Jean," she returns, but she's looking at Eve, who gesticulates wearily.
"Make yourself comfortable," she says.
Suki takes one of the chairs, making a show of spreading out the papers she's brought along. Eve gives Jean a pointed look. She huffs. Nothing like being unceremoniously kicked out of her own kitchen.
Of course, no doubt Suki would be quick to point out that it's actually hers.
"Right, well, I'll be upstairs," she says. "Shout if you need anything."
"Thanks, Jean, but I've got it covered," Eve replies, almost bundling her over the threshold. The door is shut in her face.
Jean throws her arms up in irritation and mutters a few choice words at the indignity of it all.
"Jean, seriously? You can't keep standing there all day, it'll put me off my game," Eve calls.
Well! Scowling, Jean makes a show of stomping up the stairs. She takes her annoyance out on the sink and bathtub, giving both an unceremonious scrub, grumbling under her breath about stray socks that haven't made their way into the laundry basket.
When she's done with the bathroom, she moves onto Lily's room, which is the typical teenage bombsite, with clothes flowing from drawers and makeup spilled on the vanity top.
But none of the cleaning is ever going to take a couple of hours—she's perfected the art of proficiency over many years. And what is she supposed to do when that's done? Hide upstairs like a prisoner in her own house?
Grumpily, she sits herself on the top stair and glowers down into the hallway.
And that's when she notices it. Or, rather, the lack of it.
It's not that she's nosy. She just likes to know things.
But as much as she strains her ears, she can't hear a word coming from below. Not even the murmur of voices. It's quiet. Too quiet.
Not that she expects them to be chatting at a mile a minute. Suki Panesar barely deems the Slaters worthy of speaking two words to half of the time.
But she expects to hear something. Even if it's only the odd sentence here and there as they discuss the contract.
She frowns, chewing at her lip as the curiosity burns her from the inside. After a few moments she thinks: Sod it.
She pushes herself to her feet and moves down the staircase slowly, hoping to be soundless, hoping to hear something before Eve and Suki are aware of her presence. But the bottom step creaks trecherously.
The kitchen springs to life at once: there's the scraping of chair legs along the floor and by the time Jean's made it to the door, Eve's by the kettle, smoothing down her hair.
"I was just making a brew," Eve says by way of explanation. "Fancy one?"
Suki is busy sifting through the papers, seemingly determined not to meet anyone else's gaze.
"Don't mind if I do," Jean says, and she emphasises the point that she won't be going anywhere this time by pulling out a chair at the table. "So, how's it going?"
Eve glances across at Suki, clearing her throat. "Er, yeah, really well. Think we've almost cracked it."
"Eve's done some excellent work," Suki responds, not looking up. Are Jeans eyes deceiving her, or does the other woman's lips twitch?
Eve busies herself with the tea, then expertly juggles the three mugs over to the table. She retakes her seat besides Suki. "Don't fancy taking this through to the sitting room, Jean?"
Jean ignores the plaintive hint. "Oh, no, I don't think so. I'll sit here and chat with you five minutes. You've almost cracked it, you said so yourself."
"Well, yeah…" Eve says, glancing again at Suki.
"There you go, then! Now bring those biscuits over here."
Eve rolls her eyes, standing once more to retrieve the packet from the cupboard. Jean selects one leisurely, taking a nibble.
"So, how are your family, Suki?" she asks.
"Fine," is the clipped response. Jean gets the impression that Suki doesn't want to discuss them. Well, she can understand that in part. Nish is even more unpleasant than she is. But the Panesar kids all turned out decent enough. Ash was personable in a way her mother could never be, and Kheerat was wonderful with Stacey, she could never fault him for that. Vinny is the one she knows least about, but he seems eager enough to please and a bit lost at sea. Jean settles on him now, seeing a way into her next line of questioning.
"What about Vinny? Any lucky ladies on the horizon?"
Suki doesn't quite manage to hide the fond smile that touches the corners of her lips. "No. He's got plenty of time for all that."
Bless him, he always seems a bit hapless when it comes to wooing women. But that's Jean's opening.
"Actually, we were discussing Eve's love life this morning," she says.
Suki looks up sharply. Guarded. "Oh?"
"No, you were trying to badger me into revealing something that you should know I will never do," Eve objects. "That's hardly a discussion."
"Only because you're so cagey about it!"
"I told you you'd find out in due course."
Jean pouts. "Well, I think it's very unfair that you won't let your family in on the secret." She turns to Suki. "Do you know who Eve's seeing?"
Suki almost chokes on the mouthful of tea she'd been taking. "Ex-excuse me?"
"Eve," Jean repeats helpfully. "She's seeing someone. But she's very tight-lipped about the whole thing. She won't even tell us her name. The only thing I do know is that her name begins with 'S', and that's only because I saw it when her phone broke!"
"Jean, leave it alone," Eve warns.
"I'm only curious!" she says defensively. "You won't tell us a thing about her. But you must have told someone, otherwise you'd explode!"
"Well, I can assure you Eve hasn't told me a thing. Quite honestly, I have no interest in her love life," Suki says coolly. "I'm here because my husband employs her to look over the contracts. Whoever she's seeing is no concern of mine."
That's harsh. And seemingly unfair. Suki Panesar is a difficult woman to like, and the way she places herself above everyone else in the square hasn't left her with any allies outside her own family—apart from Eve. And as absurd as it is, Jean suspects that there is at least some level of respect there between them. She's seen them from afar sometimes, grinning at each other. She doesn't know why the shopkeeper wants to maintain the impression that she doesn't like Eve when she clearly does.
Perhaps she doesn't want people to know she has a soft spot for the swaggering, charming lesbian when she's acted so appallingly in the past. She'd hardly been accepting of her own daughter's sexuality, had she?
Jean can't quite read the expression on Eve's face at Suki's words. Is she offended?
Eager to avoid any type of confrontation—she knows just where Eve's temper can land her if she gets riled enough—Jean ploughs on. "I'm just happy for you, that's all. You deserve a nice girl you can shower with love and affection and all the cutesy texts in the world."
"How would you know that the texts are cutesy?" says Eve. "You've never seen any!"
"Well, look how you are with our Stace! You bought her flowers for Valentine's Day, you take her out on date nights, you celebrate your anniversaries…" Her eyes narrow. "Wait. Stacey isn't 'S', is she? Is that why you won't even tell us her name?"
Eve bursts out laughing. "You think with the mood she was in this morning she had the capacity to send me sweet nothings from upstairs?"
"Well, it could be! And if she is, she's got nothing to be worried about! In fact, I think I'd be rather chuffed about it all! She's had awful taste in men at times, saddled herself with some real lowlifes in the past. You've been the most reliable person in her life for a long time. You keep her on the straight and narrow."
"Despite your early concerns," Eve quips. "No, seriously, I'm genuinely flattered that you think that, Jean, I really am. But I can promise you that Stacey and I will never be anything more than best mates. My heart is with someone else. And if the time is ever right, I hope that you'll get the chance to get to know her and come to love her as much as I do."
Jean gasps. "Love? Eve, you love her? Oh, that's so beautiful!"
Eve turns scarlet at that. "Ah, shit. I didn't—I shouldn't have—"
Suki surveys the ex-lawyer over the rim of her mug. The look is dark and intense and unreadable, and Jean wonders what she's thinking. Probably uncomfortable with the idea of Eve being in love, knowing that it's another woman.
"Can we please change the subject now?" Eve begs. "I feel like I've been under the microscope all morning."
"Fine, fine," Jean huffs. "I'm only trying to be supportive and show an interest."
"I know, and I think it's sweet. But interrogating one of my bosses isn't going to win me any brownie points."
"You've made a stock of them over the last few months," Suki says, examining her nails. "I suppose I can forgive this."
Jean glances between them in surprise. She'd expected the business woman to be filled with sarcasm and scathing put-downs, but she seems almost amused.
As if there's an inside joke between them.
Eve clears her throat, setting down her empty mug. "The last thing I need is you ganging up on me. If you're both quite finished, I think we should draw the line here. Stacey will be in an even worse mood if I don't show up at the van soon, and then we'll all be in for a rough night."
She has a point, Jean concedes. What with Lily's due date drawing ever closer, on top of everything else, Stacey seems constantly on the verge of a breakdown. If they can help alleviate some of the stress, they really ought to.
"Fine," she sighs. "But don't think I won't continue to ask. I just want to see you happy and settled."
"Well, I am happy," Eve reassures her. "And hopefully one day I'll be settled too." She looks across to Suki. "Let me see you to the door. We'll set up something later in the week, if we can?"
Suki nods. "Perhaps we'll have to go to Leeds this weekend. I'll speak to Nish."
Eve's grin is luminous. "Sounds good to me. Let me know." She looks a little too excited by the prospect of spending the weekend working. Evidently clocking Jean's questioning look, she hastens to explain: "I've got old mates in Leeds. If the boss is feeling generous, she might give me a few hours off to go see them."
Jean's never heard Eve mention a single friend in Leeds, but Suki seems to know all about them. Pulling her hair out from the collar of her coat, she says, "Depends on how hard you work."
"Well, I've never heard you complain about my work ethic. In fact, I pride myself on the fact that it always seems to impress you."
Suki smirks. They maintain eye contact for a lingering moment before Suki turns away, clearing her throat. "Anyway. It was nice to see you, Jean."
"Same to you," Jean says automatically, not really meaning it. But if Suki detects the disingenuity, she doesn't comment on it, only makes for the door with Eve trotting at the back of her like a puppy.
"I'll be back to clear up in a minute before I join Stace on the van," she calls over her shoulder.
Jean surveys the mess still in the sink that Eve hasn't got around to sorting despite her promise. She sighs.
"Never mind. I'll sort it. You get changed and help Stacey."
"Yeah? Cheers, Jean, you're a star."
"Don't I know it," she mutters, moving to collect the dishes together.
Her chance to find out more about the mysterious S has slipped through her fingers. But there will be more opportunities to pry further, and she's determined to make some progress on discovering the identity of the woman Eve is clearly smitten with.
And, one day soon, she hopes she'll be able to welcome her into the Slater fold with open arms and make her feel like a proper part of the family. After all, Jean thinks, she can never have too many daughter-in-laws.
Eve makes sure the kitchen door is firmly shut before following Suki to the front door.
"I'm sorry about all of that," she murmurs.
"It's fine, Eve. Stop apologising. We can't control everything. I still got to see you for a short while. That's all I really care about."
Eve feels warmth spread through her. There had been a time when she'd thought hearing such things for herself could only ever happen in a fantasy, that they were forever doomed to be star-crossed lovers separated by fear and circumstance.
But most of her wildest dreams have come true. Suki no longer resists the chemistry and connection that crackles between them. Wants them to be together openly and properly, when they manage to get rid of Nish once and for all. It's going to take time, but Eve can be patient if it means they get the life she craves at the end of it.
"You said you were in love," says Suki.
Eve winces. Of course that misstep would come back to haunt her. She knows how cautious Suki is about such things, how important it is that they remain undetected. It was stupid to let her emotions get the better of her. Impulsivity, not thinking about the consequences of her actions, those have always been her weaknesses. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have. It just slipped out."
Suki peers over Eve's shoulder. Evidently satisfied that Jean is nowhere in the vicinity, she reaches out to give her hand a fleeting squeeze. "I don't mind. In fact…I liked hearing you say that."
"Yeah?" Eve looks into her eyes, searching for any sign of duplicity.
"Yeah," Suki breathes. "To think that one day…"
She trails off, but Eve understands the sentiment. To think that one day she will be able to say those words in public. To hear Suki say those words in public. She swallows hard against the sudden lump in her throat, tries to turn the tone in a lighter direction.
"Anyway, you played that very cool. Jean's not going to suspect a thing."
"What do you mean?"
"That spiel about you having no interest in my love life. Who I see being no concern of yours. So you don't mind if I go into London tonight, get absolutely sloshed, and hook up with some bombshell blonde?"
Suki's eyebrow crooks in that maddeningly attractive way. "I don't suppose I can stop you, if that's what you want. But a weekend away in Leeds would definitely be off the cards. It's up to you."
"Let me think about it, and I'll get back to you," Eve says with faux solemnity.
Suki bites back a smile. "You do that. I'm off. Unlike some people, I have work to do."
"Oi, I'll have you know that I work very hard when I'm on the van!"
"Yeah. The key word being when."
Eve leans closer, lowering her voice to a whisper. "I work incredibly hard when I'm in Leeds, too. My boss likes to put me through my paces. But she rewards me generously for a job well done."
Suki's gaze smoulders into hers. "I'll text you later about Leeds. Leave it with me."
Eve nods. "I can't wait." She'll be disappointed if they can't manage to sneak away for the weekend, but she's also aware of how careful they need to be. If things had gone to plan today, and the house had been empty like it was supposed to have been, they would have spent their golden two hour window rolling about in Eve's crisp bedsheets, changed just for the occasion. But it's not the end of the will have more chances in the future. Just seeing Suki for a few brief minutes is enough to get her through the day. "But I might not be able to reply straight away. You know, if I'm out with my gorgeous blonde conquest. I might be otherwise engaged."
"Of course," Suki says, straight-faced and cool. "Whenever is convenient for you."
With that, Suki turns on her heel. Eve immediately goes for her phone, grinning to herself as she types and sends the message.
You're the only one I want. X
Suki isn't even at the end of the path before she's pulling her phone out. Eve grins, watching her lover crossing the street, typing one-handed. Seconds later, her own phone buzzes.
Suki. No surprise.
But it still doesn't stop her heart from swelling in her chest as she reads the words for her eyes alone.
I feel the same. More than words can say. X