Author's Note: First fic I ever wrote was for FOP. I was recently re-watching some early season episodes which brought me back to my kid self absolutely loving the humor and Da Rules and anytime Cosmo & Wanda had lovey-dovey moments, inspiring me to write this little fic. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: The Fairly OddParents © Nickelodeon

"Cosmo!" Wanda called out. "Are you almost ready?"

"I'll be ready in a baby, jiffy!" He paused, realizing that didn't sound quite right. "I mean jiffy, baby!" That was better. Except… What was a jiffy, anyway?

"Good because we can't be late."

Late for what?

It was times like this that Cosmo couldn't help but admit that his own stupidity was, without a doubt, the biggest barrier in their marriage. If only he were smarter, maybe then he'd actually be the man Wanda deserved. Not to mention, if he wasn't always so forgetful and oblivious, she wouldn't have to remind him fifty million times about simple things that any other fairy who wasn't a total moron would be able to do without needing a reminder in the first place.

Like how to put on a tie.

Staring into the green eyes of the fairy gazing back at him in the mirror—a fairy that looked an awful lot like him!—he concentrated as hard as he could. With a wave of his wand, a cloud of smoke poofed and dissipated to reveal a party horn along his chest where his tie should be.

"Darnit!"

He promptly plucked the colorful paper noisemaker from his collar and blew into it. He laughed at the sound, only to catch sight of the green fairy in the mirror again who was still missing his tie, and he frowned. A tie. Right. He could do this. Heck, he wore one just about every single day.

He poofed away the party horn and raised his wand once more. Black tie. Come to think of it, why was it so important for him to wear one today? It would be a lot more fun if he got to wear a tie around his waist and pretend it were a tail. Like a monkey tail! Monkeys rocked.

GAH! Focus!

He shut his eyes, waved his wand, and—POOF!

Almost afraid to check, he hesitantly cracked one eyelid open, then the other. Now he had on a tie, but something still wasn't quite right. He stared at the small triangular tie, and then it hit him. A bowtie? No, that wasn't right at all. He needed his necktie.

He poofed it away and took a deep breath. Well, third time was the charm, right? If only he could actually count to three.

Waving his glowing wand, he tapped it to his collar. The cloud of fairy dust faded to reveal a long green tie. While green was his favorite color, it still wasn't exactly right.

Hiss.

Uh oh.

Did the tie just move? Leaning in closer to the mirror, he brought an index finger to the green tie, which vibrated violently when he tapped it. The next thing he knew, he was met with a pair of glowering red eyes and a slithering tongue that snapped out at him.

"AHHH! SNAAAAAKE!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. "Get it off, get it off, get it off, get it off!"

In all the commotion as he flew about in a frenzy while the snake angrily hissed at him, he hadn't noticed when Wanda poofed into the room. She took one look at the display before her of her panicked husband wrestling with a snake, and with a playful roll of her eyes, she raised her wand.

POOF!

The snake was gone, replaced at last with Cosmo's black necktie. He froze, fists clenched to his mouth in fear, only to swiftly relax at the sight of Wanda.

"Wanda! I'm so glad you're here. I couldn't remember how to put on my tie!"

Wanda grinned warmly. "It's okay, sweetheart. You'll get the hang of it."

He was able to recognize the sincerity in her voice, knowing that she truly was trying to make him feel better about himself, but in that moment it only made him feel worse. It was obvious that she was so used to him screwing up like this that she clearly didn't think anything of it now. All she had to do was appear, zap away the problem, and everything would be okay. Until he made another stupid mistake and she'd have to fix it all over again. How was she not sick of always being the one to look out for him when he could barely take care of himself, let alone her?

"Hey," Wanda said, serious all of a sudden. She floated right in front of him now, eyes filled with concern. "Why do you look so sad, puddin'?"

Usually that pet name made his heart do a twirl—in a totally not girly way—and, oh, who was he kidding? She could always turn his heart into mush with just a simple affectionate look. But right now he found himself rejecting all of it, feeling unworthy of her kindness.

"'Cause I'm just your idiot husband who can't do anything right if it wasn't for you," he said without thinking. Not that he ever thought about anything, anyway.

"Oh, Cosmo," Wanda said sympathetically. "That's not true at all. I need you just as much as you need me."

He blinked, wary yet with a tinge of hope. "Really?"

"Of course. We're a team. We make each other better. We're—"

"Wanda and Cosmo!" he blurted out, a renewed sense of cheerfulness bursting through him. "Or Cosmo and Wanda. Because I'm Cosmo, and you're Wanda!"

"Exactly. And I wouldn't trade that for anything in the entire world."

His face flushed with the warmth of her lips pressing against his cheek. Okay, so maybe he wasn't the brightest, but it didn't matter to Wanda. He really did have the best wife in the universe.

"So why is today so important again?" he asked.

Thankfully she didn't sigh with impatience, which he wouldn't have blamed her for if she had, as she must've reminded him hundreds of times already. Instead, she simply straightened out his tie and settled her hands on his shoulders.

"Today's the day we meet our new godchild."

His eyes lit up. A new godchild! No wonder they had to look nice. Well, Wanda always looked nice, her crown shiny and pointy, her hair pink and swirly, her bright yellow shirt and matching earrings making her beautiful pink eyes stand out all the more. Good thing she'd helped him with his tie. They needed to make an excellent first impression in front of their new godchild.

"That's right, I remember now," Cosmo said with a smile. "I can't wait to meet him. I hope his name is Jimmy."

"Actually, it's Timmy," Wanda said. "Timmy Turner. And based on the rundown Jorgen gave us, it sounds like we'll have our work cut out for us with this young boy. Evil babysitter, parents who are hardly ever around… Basically your all-around average kid that no one understands."

Cosmo brought his hands to his face with a gasp. "That's horrible! Who wants to be average?"

"I know," Wanda said. "So it's up to us to make his wishes come true and be there for him whenever he needs us. And our grand entrance awaits any second now, so there's no time to lose. Ready, Cosmo?"

"Ready, Wanda!" he said energetically, and as if on cue, the sloped walls of the Magic 9 Ball they were in began to shake. Ooh, it was happening! As the anticipation mounted, something else suddenly dawned on him. "Wait a second. There's one more important thing I almost forgot."

"What's that, cupcake?"

Cosmo's eyelids drooped of their own accord. "This," he said, and in one fluid motion he pulled Wanda into his arms and kissed her with everything he had. Her hand came up to caress his cheek as she instantly melted into the embrace. He dipped her romantically, fully swept up in the moment as he held her like he never wanted to let go, which he knew she wouldn't want him to, either. Now this was one thing he never had to think about it.

He drew back with an emphatic "MWAH!" and was met by Wanda's mesmerizingly lovesick eyes staring up at him in sheer adoration, matching the blush on her face. She giggled flirtatiously.

"Wow. I'm glad you remembered that."

"You and me both, my love," Cosmo said with a mischievous grin.

He released her and immediately held out his hand, which she accepted without hesitation. The excitement buzzed between them as the ball cracked open, signaling their big entrance. This was it! They shared one last loving smile, ready to fly out and experience all the adventures that awaited them with their new godkid.