Pretzel Mom Marge is kicked out of her friends' franchise A Bunch of Mommas because she is reluctant to take a risk with investments. So Marge tries to form her own investment at an investment and food products fair. Meanwhile Skinner snaps having enough of his mother and goes crazy.
Plot
The chalkboard gag is "I am not licensed to do anything."
The couch gag is the Simpsons in a couch themed whack a mole game as a mallet tries to hit them. Homer gets hit by the mallet. "D'oh!" he groans.
The episode starts with Marge and some mothers she is friends with. Maude, Rod and Todd's Mom. Helen Lovejoy, Jessica's Mom. Agnes Skinner. Skinner's Mom and um Mrs Krabappel... at a pancake cafe.
"They say pancakes here stink." said Agnes Skinner.
"Yes. Thank you Agnes." said Maude Flanders.
"Edna you don't have kids! Why are you here?!" said Agnes.
"Um..." said Edna.
"Because I invited her!" said Marge.
"Well you can uninvite her! We're called A bunch of mothers for a reason!" said Agnes. "Seymour! Mommy needs some syrup for her pancakes. Be a good boy and get the syrup bottle."
"Yes mother." said Skinner getting her the Ms Butterworth syrup bottle.
Marge sighed.
"Fine! I know where I'm not wanted!" Edna left the group.
"Okay first on our agenda is to find a new member for our group." said Maude.
"Hold the fort for now Maude, first we should start discussing franchises to invest in." said Helen.
"These pancakes are terrible!" said Agnes.
"Yes thank you Agnes. Now can we begin?" said Helen.
"Yes go ahead..." said Agnes. Displeased with her pancakes.
The mothers spoke about business ventures they were involved in that were successful, mostly food based ones. "Dynaflux Unimatics shares increased a delicious seven and a three quarters! Doubling the value of our books!" said Helen. Their accounts that is. Not actual books. But accounts and finances are noted down in books.
"Oh that's wonderful." said Maude.
"What franchise should we buy into next?" Agnes asked.
"Okra chex! The only Okra based cereal! It's endorsed by its own mascot, Okra Winfrey!" said Helen obsessed with Okra for some reason.
"Um no..." said Agnes.
"How about cushions? Everyone likes to sit on cushions right?" suggested Maude.
The ladies weren't interested.
"Children are so fat these days! Can't we cash in on that somehow?" said Agnes.
"I'm not a gambling person." said Marge. "Last time I gambled I had a serve gambling addiction and my family had to deal with the boogeyman, a terrible school play costume made of loft insulation and Gamblor, a giant robot made of slot machines with neon claws..." said Marge.
"Oh Marge don't be such a wet blanket..." said Maude.
"Yeah if we listened to you we would have never invested in that Mexican wrestler!" said Agnes.
A Mexican wrestler was sat with them.
"I'm just not a high risk person." said Marge.
"Marge you're as Go go as the 90s..." said Maude.
"No she's as popular as Rug burn. Ha!" said Agnes.
"Please don't remind me of when Oscar got a rug burn and cried." said Marge sighing.
"Yet she has 20% shares in our business. Is that fair ladies?" said Helen.
"No!" said everyone except Marge.
"All in favour of kicking Marge out of the club." said Agnes.
"Aye." said everyone except Marge.
"Fine. I know where I'm not wanted." said Marge. She left the table.
"Your pancakes will arrive in the mail." said Helen.
...
That evening Marge told her family what happened. They were eating hotdogs for dinner.
Lisa had a tofu dog though because she's vegetarian. Hugo had a fish dog. A whole mackerel instead of a wiener sausage.
"And then they returned my $500 investment." said Marge.
"Wait, wait, wait... back up a bit. When are we getting the pancakes in the mail?" Homer asked.
"Well maybe it's for the best." said Marge.
"Yeah you don't need to worry about earning money! As long as I have my job at the plant there's nothing to worry about." said Homer. He poked himself in the eye with a hotdog somehow. "Ow! Call work! I won't be able to make it in tomorrow..."
Bart laughed at Homer.
"Mom this is no time to be conservative! Roll the dice here!" said Lisa.
"That's what you said when we played Jumanji, and we nearly got eaten by man eating plants, chased by lions, an insane nineteenth century game hunter and I got stuck in quicksand." said Bart.
"And I want to be conservative! I refuse to vote Labour!" said Oscar.
"Guys no taking what I said out of context..." Lisa sighed.
"I want to take things out of context!" Oscar screamed.
Hugo winced. "Are meal times always like this...?"
Marge coughed awkwardly.
"Did you save me a cookie?" Hugo asked Oscar.
"You bet I did. Last one." Oscar gave him a cookie. Hugo smiled and hugged Oscar.
"Oh, cookie, you look so good. Shh, shh! Don't speak. I'll go get some milk foryour bath." said Hugo talking to his cookie... He got up to get some milk.
"I can't believe-you're feeding that freak!" Homer yelled.
"I can't believe you won't shut up!" Oscar snapped at him.
"Very well. It's time I played those ladies at their own game! Let's buy into a franchise at that franchise fair that's opened up!" said Marge.
Later Marge had her pancakes. Mmmmmmm mail order pancakes...
"And now I have to introduce this episode's celebrity." said Oscar. He is in front some stage curtains. "And now, put your hands together for the one, the only! Vincent Price!"
Vincent Price was behind the curtain dressed as some sort of evil sorcerer.
"What do you want?!" He said annoyed as if we were bothering him.
"Uh..." said Bart.
"Quiet boy. I have a feeling something eerie is about to go down..." said Homer.
"I have a very busy schedule! Flim Flam!" Vincent Price called for someone. A boy about Oscar's age wearing a yellow hoodie arrived. However he had black hair and darker skin. "We must get going. Some fool set 13 ghosts free!"
Vincent Price and Flim Flam left.
"Awwwwww! He's more fun when he's doing spooky monologues and the Thriller and the Dr Philbes..." said Oscar.
The Simpsons roll their eyes.
Flim Flam then returned. "You guys look like you're in a fine mess. With a capital M! Well I've got just the thing!"
"No! No! No! I've dealt with charlatan stall merchants and miracle cure selling quacks before! Hit the road Flim Flam!" said Oscar.
"But-!"
"Now! And why are you hanging around a dead old hammer horror actor?!" Oscar ranted.
Then the cops arrived.
"You're under arrest you fast-talking uh ferret!" Wiggum arrested Flim Flam.
"Noooooooo! Help me Vincent Price!" Flim Flam whined.
The Simpsons winced.
...
They went to a franchise fair the following day. But an annoying robot annoyed them.
"I am Investo a robot from the planet Oppurtuniac!" said Investo the robot. "My superior brain advises you to attend the franchise fair!"
"We are! But you're in our way!" said Marge annoyed the robot was blocking the way.
"Danger danger! Take a pamphlet!" said the robot.
"I'll handle this..." said Bart carrying a can of Buzz Cola. He poured it into the robot and the robot sparked and malfunctioned. It blew up.
"Coooool!" said Oscar.
They went into the franchise fair.
There was a guy investing so he could build a rocket to the moon to get the green moon money. "And can you give me some of that sweet, sweet moon money?"
"No deal McCutcheon! That Moon money is mine!" said Homer.
"Passhaaaww! As if! That Moon money is mine Laddie! Along with the Moon cheese!" said Scrooge McDuck.
"Guys we both know that the Moon money belongs to the Clangers..." said Oscar.
"No silly references narrator!" Bart whined.
Then there was a guy talking about slanted picture frames advertising straightening gloves and wall lubricant.
"Uh Mom, I think that guy is a hack..." said Bart. The guy was obviously just after some poor fool's money.
"Yeah what next? Drain de-buggers? Omni-Gogs?" Lisa sighed.
"Cooooool! Omni-Gogs!" said Oscar imagining a set of high tech goggles.
The charlatan advertising crap to straighten picture frames demonstrated with pictures of clowns. A sad clown and a happy clown. For before and after.
"Aaaaaaaagh! CLOOOOOOWWWWNS!" Teddy, Oscar's living teddy bear creature screamed. He is scared of clowns.
Then Marge bumped into her friends they had already replaced her and Edna with Bernice Hibbert and Sarah Wiggum.
"Marge." said Helen.
"Helen." said Marge. Helen nodded. "Maude. Bernice. Sarah. Ermmmm..."
"Oh! You know who I am! I'm Agnes! It means lamb! Lamb of God!" said Agnes annoyed at Marge.
"Sorry Agnes." said Marge.
"Mmmmmmm! Holy lamb..." said Oscar.
"Marge." said Agnes. coldly acknowledging her.
"Don't worry Marge, you're better off without them..." said Mrs Krabappel.
"They only kicked you out because you joined a group of investorettes who are mothers!" said Homer.
"Yeah well why would I want kids?! I have to babysit everyone's kids 9 to 3 every Monday to Friday..." said Mrs Krabappel.
Elsewhere Hugo found an investor selling some sort of fish related snack, possibly fish logs, yes the fish logs Mayor Quimby is trying to ban because he wants to help his nephew's fish stick company.
Hugo ate all the free samples of fish logs.
"Nyum! Fishy..." he wanted more...
The stall owner sighed.
Flim Flam was advertising Joy Juice.
"It cures all that ails ya! It's even known to treat dandruff..." said Flim Flam.
"Oh good, you could use some of that Oscar..." Bart smirked.
Oscar tousled and ran his fingers through his overgrown troll doll hair. White flakes poured out.
"I hate it when the Mystery Gang meets a new friend... ie like that white mutt with the red backwards cap..." said Hugo.
...
This is where we deviate away from canon.
Marge's former group of friends got to a stall selling pita bread pockets. However Helen was racist about the Middle East so the woman enabling her used American sounding euphemisms for the ingredients.
"Tzatziki?"
"Flavour sauce."
"Falafel?"
"Crunch munchies. Here try a Ben Franklin." said the lady enabling Helen's Xenophobia by addressing a pita pocket as a Ben Franklin.
She even had the audacity to call the Arabic chef who explained the kebab pockets contained tabouli and shish kebab, Christopher.
The man was outraged and swore in Arabic shutting himself in his canteen truck.
Oscar and Lisa glared.
The ladies exchanged awkward looks and decided to buy into the franchise.
"Well I for one will not be buying any kebabs from someone so ignorant of Middle Eastern culture!" Lisa ranted.
"What do we care. You're vegetarian Lisa." said Helen.
Lisa growled and stormed off.
"Well I eat meat and I'm not buying from you racists!" Oscar stormed off.
"Oh dear. There goes the one franchise I might have been interested in..." Marge sighed.
A man selling pretzels called her over to try a pretzel.
"Hmmmm! These are not bad!" said Marge.
"Not bad? I'll tell you something else. They're not bread either! Geddit? Knot bread?" said the vendor.
Marge giggled. "Yes dear! Knot bread! Hmhehehehe!"
Plot 2
Meanwhile Homer spoke to Disco Stu about investing in disco.
"Um your fish are dead..." said Homer noting the fish in Disco Stu's fish tank platform shoes were dead.
"Yeah I know. I can't get them out of there..." said Disco Stu.
Then a man and a woman, the man carrying a jar of peanut butter and the woman a bar of chocolate crashed into each other.
"You got chocolate in my peanut butter!" said the man.
"You got peanut butter on my chocolate!" said the woman. she tried the peanut butter covered chocolate. ""My product is ruined! I'll sue you for damages!"
"Fine! I'll see you in court!" said the man.
"Yoink!" Homer snatched their peanut butter and chocolate. "Losers..." And later that day he became a billionaire by inventing Reese's Pieces...
Marge invested into making and selling Pretzels.
Meanwhile there was a celebration of Helen and her friends buying the pita bread pocket franchise.
"And here'a our gals! Helen Lovejoy! Maude Flanders! Agnes Skinner! Bernice Hibbert! Sarah Wiggum! Bart Simpson!"
A record was stopped suddenly as the needle scratched,
"What?" Bart asked as everyone stared at him.
Marge made a deal with the pretzel guy. "When do I start? Where's my territory?"
"Well Marge. Put it this way. Where ever there is mom ignorant of what to feed her baby, you'll be there. (You can't feed a baby a pretzel!) When nacho penetration is not enough (Mmmmmm! Sexual nachos...) you'll be there. When a Bavarian is not quite full you'll be there!" said the Pretzel Guy.
"Don't forget fat people! They can't stop eating!" said Marge giggling.
"Ooooooh! Pretzels!" said Homer hungry for pretzels.
"Oh Ja! Das ist gut!" said Üter also interested in pretzels.
...
At home Marge put on a tape hosted by the guy she bought the pretzel franchise from on instructions toet herself started.
"If you are watching this then you have Pretzel fever! Hehehehe! And not the kind that attacked my intestinal tract a few months back." said Pretzel Guy. Aaaaaagh! Deadly pretzel disease!
"Or that time I went on a doomed space mission with Rik Mayal and got cornflakes disease!" said Oscar. He opened his jacket and screamed as cornflakes bursted out of him spraying everywhere.
Marge sighed at his silliness.
The tape suggested she set up in her basement or garage somewhere.
"Unfortunately all the weird fanon cousins, nephews, brothers live in the basement." said Homer referencing James Bouvier, Hank and Graggle who live in the basement.
The Simpsons set up in the garage. Marge put up a monkey poster and Homer nearly crushed Bart's fingers as he folded up the fold up table. "Yipes!" Bart yelled pulling his hands away in time.
Oscar put up a kitty poster of a sad kitty hanging from a washing line that read "Hang in there..." Oscar laughed.
The tape also suggested shutting garage doors and basement windows. This suited Homer as Ned arrived for a friendly chat and Homer disliking Ned shut the garage shutter on him.
"Hi diddly-" said Ned but Homer shut the garage door on him.
Then Marge watched the tape some more for the recipe on cooking pretzels.
"Oh and Eeeeeeugh! Check for millipedes..." pretzel guy's flour bag was contaminated with millipedes.
"Mmmmmmm! Extra protein..." said Hugo.
Bart grimaced at him.
Luckily there were no millipedes in the flour.
Marge got to making the dough.
Oscar poured flour over himself. He blinked confused.
"Aaaaaagh! A ghost!" Homer screamed because Oscar was white from the flour.
...
Marge made some pretzels her family had the first taste.
Their delighted Mmmmmmmmms! Meant they approved and liked the pretzels.
"Mmmmmmmm! Marge..." said Homer.
Marge winced.
"These are great Mom!" said Lisa.
"Yeah!' said Bart.
Hugo muffled in gibberish and growled in a beastly manner as he chewed a pretzel.
Marge sighed with relief. Now she could sell the pretzels.
She started by following the tape by using a fake ticker parade as an excuse to litter the streets with pamphlets.
"Welcome back Space Girl!" Wiggum cried tearfully as the town welcomed back Lisa who was wearing an astronaut helmet. Um...
Then Homer got his friends to buy pretzels when Marge's pretzel wagon arrived.
However Lenny and Carl took too long choosing a pretzel.
"Hmmmmmmm! I'll have a... um... I'll have a pretzel..." said Lenny. Uh Marge only sells Pretzels... there's no choice to think over...
"I'll also um... er... I'll also have a pretzel!" said Carl.
So only they bought one before a food kiosk wagon pulled up playing loudly the song "Don't stop thinking about tomorrow." By Fleetwood Mac.
Oscar rocked out to the music.
Bart winced as he watched Oscar doing the air guitar.
The food kiosk wagon was driven by Helen, Maude etc who were selling pita bread pockets.
In canon the bad guys, that's Helen's group, steal all of Marge's customers. Why that would work when even they were bigoted against Middle Eastern food I don't know. And pita bread and falafel is actually Turkish and Mediterranean actually.
"Mmmmm! Speciality food." said Homer.
"Grrr! It's not speciality food! It's foreign food! Turkish and Mediterranean cuisine to be exact!" Oscar growled annoyed.
"Don't be silly! Turkish food tastes like terrorist made crap!" said Homer buying a kebab pocket thing.
"No it doesn't! Turkish food is delish!" said Oscar hungry for Turkish food.
Chris Griffin from Family Guy ate a pita pocket. then cried in horror at what he done. "Oh no Khalid! What have I done?!" He sobbed referring to the pita pocket as his friend Khalid.
Bart grimaced at his odd behaviour.
"Yeah... You'll have to get used to um that..." said Stewie.
"You're stealing my customers!" Marge whined.
"That's business Marge." said Helen in a mocking way.
...
At her sisters' Marge drank away her woes.
"I am so steamed! The front of those pushy moms!" Marge ranted
"Marge you need Brad Goodman." said Selma. See Bart's inner child.
"No she needs John Goodman..." said Oscar standing with John Goodman aka Sully from Monsters Inc.
"Is he always that ridiculous and annoying?" Patty asked Marge about Oscar.
"I'm afraid so..." Marge sighed.
Oscar frowned at Patty.
They sat down to watch Brad Goodman.
He was doing a stress seminar with Skinner.
"Now Seymour. Imagine this dummy is your mother. Let out all your frustrations and anger out at the Mom dummy." said Brad Goodman.
A sandbag dummy dressed up as an elderly mom sat smiling at Skinner.
"I am annoyed mother, no not just annoyed, I am outraged! I can run my own life!" Skinner yelled shaking the doll and tearing it apart.
"Yes that's good Seymour, now take a seat." said Brad Goodman.
"We're still going to the antiques store tight, Mother?" Skinner asked his mother. She gave him an odd lock.
Marge then went home after cooling off.
Her family were eating some pretzels.
"Mmmmmm! These pretzels are great Mom!" said Bart.
"And you have some customers." said Oscar.
There was a line of German people including Uter and his parents and the Germans who ran the power plant briefly, waiting for pretzels.
"Hmmmmmm!" Marge sighed. "I just wish Helen hadn't taken all the fat and average built men..."
"Come on! We're hungry! Schnell! Schnell!" said the Germans.
"Now you lot calm down or I'll get John Cleese!" Oscar warned the Germans.
Uter grimaced at him.
"Oz go and have a nap..." Hugo sighed face palming.
"But I'm not tired..." Oscar whined.
...
Marge tried going out and selling pretzels but didn't think to put a limit on the amount of free pretzel tokens customers could have so Cleatus hoards three hundred of them and demands three hundred free pretzels.
"Hmmmm... I really should have made it one per customer..." Marge sighed.
"Well ya didn't. Now fork em over!" Cleatus demanded. "Hey kids! We're eating tonight! Come out Taylor, Britney, Jitney... he calls out a long list of names that would make a very long and tired Family Guy gag.
As each of them was called, Cleatus's kids came out of the shack.
Marge sighed.
At home Lisa was eating a pretzel and praising her mom on the taste. "Great pretzels mom but you need to think big. Like a big public event."
Marge was giving out pretzels at a sports game.
"Ah gahoy Glavin! Thanks Marge! Zoink!" said Frink making Jerry Lewis sounds.
"Gracias Señorita." said Bumblebee Man. "That means thank you."
Marge hmmmmmmed as she knew that meant thank you.
However Mr Burns won an RV and the people still angry at him threw their pretzels at him.
"No! You're supposed to be tasting them!" Marge whined.
Then a baseball player with the unfortunate name of whitey appealed for sanity.
"And there goes poor Whitey." said a baseball commentator as he was knocked out by pretzels.
"This is a black day for baseball." said the other commentator.
"Right that's it! Show's over!" Oscar stormed into the commentator booth and ripped out the mikes. "You had to say that, you racists!"
At home, Marge was sad over her pretzels.
"Mom you can't buy publicity like that." said Bart. "But just think. Everyone will know your pretzels for knocking out Whitey Ford."
"You could call them Whitey Whackers!" said Homer. No you can't Homer! That's racist!
"Stop that right now!" Oscar concussed Homer with a smack from a baseball bat. "I've had enough of the racist jokes today! I'm outta here!" He stormed off.
"Ow! My head..." Homer whined.
...
Meanwhile at Vincent Price's haunted mansion... Gahahahaha! The thriller!
Vincent Price was sat in a big, red, ominous but comfortable armchair in a private library in deep thought.
"Hey Pops!" said his grandson Jody.
"Oh quiet Jody, you're not helping..." said Vincent Price.
He sat there, giving the image of an intellectual genius. However to his many fans he was scary. The Monster Mash! Hahahahaha!
"I'm bored." said Vincent.
He watched over his hedge maze and topiary garden. Edward Scissorhands was cutting the bushes again. "Grrrrrr! Drat! Double drat! I told that boy not to ruin my topiary bushes!
"Flim Flwm!" He called for Flim Flam, the annoying kid in the yellow tracksuit who is his assistant.
Flim Flam arrived.
"Yes Mister Price?" asked Flim Flam.
Plot 3
Marge was in a depressed state offering her kids bad advice to just give up. You'll never amount to anything.
She also was drinking wine again...
"Oh no! We've seen Mom so low!" said Lisa.
"And Oscar is madder than a hornet over the racist Whitey Ford gags he's beating up Matt Groening!" said Bart.
Oscar was beating up Matt Groening. "That's enough racist jokes! You wanna write racist jokes? Go and write for Family Guy or South Park!"
"We've got to calm him down and get everyone to stop with the Whitey Ford jokes..." said Bart.
"And help Mom's pretzel business." said Lisa.
However they got help from an unlikely source, no not the mafia, but Mrs Krabappel!
Well it was fairly obvious she wanted to get back at Helen's gang for kicking her out by helping out a mutual ally.
"Marge I can talk Seymour round to putting on a pretzel day." said Mrs Krabappel.
"But isn't he helping his mom in the pita patrol?" asked Marge.
"I'll talk him round..." said Mrs Krabappel.
It was stalemate between Mrs Krabappel and Agnes Skinner and her friends.
"Seymour!"
"Seymour!" Yeah the argument was just Edna and Agnes yelling Seymour.
"Feed the kids Seymour!" said Audrey II the singing man eating plant.
"Oh a little shop of horrors reference... real original Oz..." Bart sighed.
Oscar chuckled.
Hugo sighed.
...
The next day at lunch Marge and Edna vs Helen's lot were battling over a German day and a pita day but ignorantly calling the pitas Ben Franklin's.
Oscar and Lisa appealing to each other's anger at the flagrant racism in this episode set up a rival pita stool educating everyone about the proud nature of Mediterranean and Middle Eastern food. Such as kebabs and pita breads with "Christopher" the chef cooking.
"And another thing! His name is not Christopher! What is your name my good man?" Oscar asked the Arabic chef.
"Muhammad Ayum Al Azerberak!" said the chef.
"There! Muhammad will be cooking out delicious authentic Middle Eastern and Mediterranean cuisine!" said Oscar.
"Can I have a kebab with bacon in it?" Hugo asked.
"No you can't Hugh-gy..." Oscar sighed. "Chicken or lamb or vegetarian. Nothing else..."
"I know, I am deliberately pushing Muhammad's buttons." said Hugo.
"Well don't Hugh-gy." said Oscar to his friend Hugo.
"Now come on children! We taught you better than to accept food from the Arabs..." said Agnes.
"Then you taught them wrong!" said Marge. "You've taught our children racism and bigotry!"
"Yeah what have the Middle East done to you? Apart from make Aladdin movies and magic carpets..." said Oscar.
"Oz... there's more to the Middle East than Aladdin and magic carpets..." Lisa sighed.
"And blue genies and monkeys wearing tiny fezzes..." Bart added.
Helen's food van was playing Fleetwood Mac songs.
Such as Tommorow etc.
"Mrs Lovejoy, stop playing Fleetwood Mac, he would be embarrassed to find racist bigots playing his music..." said Oscar.
Homer then came in with Fat Tony and his gang.
"Hey Marge I just got some help for your pretzels from the mafia!" said Homer.
"Homer no! That's a terrible idea!" said Marge.
"But it would be hilarious! They could smash up Helen's stupid pita stand and shut down all your rivals! Then nothing will stop you from taking over the world! Mwuhahahaha!" Homer laughed evilly.
"Homer I don't want to take over the world! I want to sell pretzels." said Marge.
"Oh..." said Homer.
"I want to take over the world." said Hugo dressed as a scientist.
"Yes we know Hugo..." Bart sighed.
"I see ma'am..." said Fat Tony.
"Homer just get back to working on your chocolate and peanut butter thing..." Marge sighed.
"Oh it has a name now Marge. I'm calling it Reese's Pieces! Try some kids!" said Homer.
Bart and Lisa tried some. It was delicious. "Mmmmmm! That is good!" said Bart.
"Chocolate and peanut butter, it's a scientifically perfect combination!" said Lisa being geeky.
Marge now had even more customers. Some for pretzels, some for Oscar and Lisa's pitas and some for Homer's Reese's Pieces.
Helen and her friends looked rather foolish with only a few loyal customers. "Well ain't that a kick in the teeth..." said Agnes.
...
At home Marge put Fat Tony and his goons to work making pretzels. "No evil mafia stuff guys!"
"Yes ma'am..." Fat Tony sighed as he rolled out dough to make pretzels.
Oscar and Lisa were helping Muhammad to make kebabs and other Middle Eastern and Mediterranean food.
Chris Griffin cried about eating Khalid again.
"Oh no! Khalid! What have I done?!" He cried.
Bart grimaced baffled by the older boy.
Homer was making Reese's pieces.
"Mmmmmm! Chocolate and peanut butter, such a perfect combination..."
And Grim was making his great aunt Kali's bug cookies with bugs in them (but sadly no ripping out hearts. Kali ma shakti de!). He summoned with his supernatural powers some hellish imps to deliver ingredients to him and help him cook.
"Here's those ingredients you ordered Grim! Straight from the old crone herself! What are you cooking up this time?" said the imps that sound like Mudboy.
Grim giggled. "I am making cookies!"
"Cookies?! Gahahahahaha!" The Mudboy imps laugh.
"So Grim, who's recipe is that?" asked Oscar.
"My dear Aunt Kali." said Grim thinking of his aunt Kali.
Oscar got um silly...
"Oz no!" Mandy groaned.
"Kali maaaaa! Kali maaaaaa! Kali maaaaaa!" Oscar chanted. "Kali ma shakti de!"
Billy winced.
"Oh you foolish child... It's good ting I'm making my grandmother's brownies too." said Grim.
"Uh... the brownies that raise the dead as zombies..." Mandy winced.
"Uh oh..." said Grim.
Zombies bursted into the food market moaning; "Mmmmmmmmm! Brownies..."
Oscar sweat dropped.
...
At Home.
Homer whined he really wanted to call on the Springfield mob to smash up all the rival food trucks.
"No Homer! I don't want to be involved in anything illegal!" said Marge. "So I've called upon my sisters for help."
Patty and Selma got the news about Agnes, Helen, Maude etc kicking her out of their investment group.
"That does it! No one makes our baby sister cry!" Patty snarled.
They headed off to the mall and found Helen, Agnes, Maude and Luanne outside their pitta bread truck with Fleetwood Mac songs playing.
Patty and Selma turned the air blue with cursing because some fanfiction writer said so.
"Listen here you holier than thou hypocritical bitch!" Selma yelled.
Selma we're trying to keep this story rated U...
Helen was offended by her language.
The attic.
"Hugo have you seen my-" Lisa asked Hugo.
"Pigeon-rat or bacon... Choose wisely." said Hugo with his pet pigeon rat on one platter and some crispy fried rashers of bacon on the other.
"Hugo I'm vegetarian..." said Lisa.
Hugo sighed. "I've been locked up for seven seasons. I still think you're obsessed with bacon. Is Bart still trapped down that well?"
"No Hugo..." said Lisa.
Back at the mall food market.
"The Cracker Factory is really booming, Luann. Any tips for us amateur investors?" Agnes Skinner asked Luanne.
"Well, I could tell you my secret but then I'd have to kill you." said Luanne.
Oscar screamed hysterically and fled.
Bart face palmed.
"Oz is being stupid again?" Hugo asked him. Bart nodded.
...
And Fat Tony wanted money from someone.
"Where is the money?"
"Do I look like I have the money?" The bloke replied.
"I'm afraid I must insist. You see, my wife, she has been most vocal on the subject of the pretzel monies. "Where's the money? "When are you going to get the money?" "Why aren't you getting the money now?"" said Fat To y menacingly.
Uh I'm sure she died.
"Well obviously she's not dead yet Oz..." said Bart.
Then Marge's mentor who got her into the pretzel business died.
"Oh I better discuss this with the executioner of his will." said Homer.
"He's over there in that coffin. They were in the same crash..." said the vicar at the funeral.
"Sheesh!" Homer grimaced.
Still at the mall food market...
Agnes explained once again her name means lamb of God.
"Mmmmmmmm! Lamb of God..." Oscar moaned and drooled with hunger.
Elsewhere Vincent Price had a stall.
"What are you selling, Mr Price?" Lisa asked.
"Goulash, which I call Ghoooooouuuulash! Gahahahaha!" said Vincent Price. Because he's spooky with the ghosts and the dancing zombies and the hideous heart!
Flim Flam face palmed.
"Um okay..." said Lisa.
And Grim was still baking his Aunt Kali's cookies.
"Kali maaaaaaa! KALI MAAAAAAA!" Oscar yelled.
Mandy slapped him.
"Ow!"
Billy was making chocolate dipped pickles!
"Ugh!" Grim grimaced in disgust.
"Yum!" Teddy, Oscar's living teddy bear creature ate a chocolate dipped pickle.
...
Anyhoo The Investorettes didn't make a cent and had to shut down their Ben Franklin business.
"Okay Marge you win. You can come back and we won't criticise you for being reluctant with new investments..." said Agnes.
Marge cheered. "The system works!"
"Uh that line doesn't work in this context..." said Oscar.
Elsewhere Fat Tony smashed up Moleman's hotdog vendor trolly.
"Why are you doing this?" Moleman whined.
"This is a pretzel town." Fat Tony gently slapped his cheeks and gave him the kiss of death.
"Ah um... errr... Fat Tony I also want you to keep out fish logs, fish cakes and anything other than fish sticks." said Quimby.
"Of course Mayor... In return a kind donation would sweeten the deal..." Fat Tony wanted a bribe.
Quimby sighed and paid him some money.