Author's note: Crossposted in Ao3. To be honest, my interpretation of the ending is that Joshua and Dion are dead, but because I want to make a particular scene work out, I have all three alive. I'd also love it if they are alive of course, but alas. Haha. well, my own interpretation of the ending is that only Clive lives. BUT yes, because I also enjoy thinking of the what ifs and for the sake of the fic, I will make all three alive :D It has been EONS since the last time I wrote anything in English. So please, beware of that because I have no beta-reader.

Chapter Summary:

She had promised him back at the beach. She would keep her promise as she ensured that he kept his.

Her Choice

Torgal's fur on her cheek, Jill looked up once again at the horizon. The sun was higher than it was when the dawn just break and now, for sure, she could no longer feel Clive's aether anymore. She felt it disappeared, dissipating just like how Metia blinked and disappeared.

Metia. Her hope, her prayers. Her wish for her everything.

By the time she looked up at the moon then, she knew that it was over. The fact that she was still breathing and Edda's newborn baby's cry echoed in the background, she knew that Clive, Joshua, and Prince Dion had succeeded. But at what cost?

When Metia disappeared, she felt fear like she had never felt before. Her soul was torn and she could not voice what she did not want to believe might have just come true. She ran out of the infirmary in fear of breaking her promise, that only the stars would see her cry—only her star would—but she could not contain it. It was over, and as it did, so did his aether.

With the dawn breaking and no sign of any presence on the horizon, the tears that had fallen on her face started to dry. She knew the possible answer to why his aether disappeared, why Torgal howled. She did not want to believe it, yet the emptiness in the air told her otherwise. Clive's aether was gone. It meant one thing, and that one thing was what she dreaded the most in this world.

However...

Now, under the light of the sun, the first after so many moons of dark red sky, she could also feel something inside her waning. It was Shiva. Like ice melting under the sun, the presence of Shiva in her heart also dissipated. Something that had been coursing her veins and circulating inside her for years and years had now ceased to be.

Torgal snuggled into her embrace. He, too, must have felt it. It was Shiva, after all, which connected him to her and allowed him to be Fenrir. Probably now Torgal, too, felt the same way she did. Something was gone.

Her chest felt full. Shiva, the one who had caused her so much suffering yet had granted her so much power to help people around her, very slowly and surely disappeared from her heart.

Then it was not only Clive's Ifrit aether that disappeared.

Every Dominant disappeared. Each and every one of them.

Torgal whimpered again. He stirred in her embrace.

Yes, Torgal. You're right.

Only one person could provide the answer to many of her doubts and her questions right now. The one person who also promised her he'd go back home.

Jill moved her eyes to the sun again. The sun was out now. It's warm ray shone over Lake Bennumere and turned the dark sky into lighter blue with each passing minute. Blue. A color that had not been there for so long, had come back.

Jill took in the morning air deeply into her lung. Steadily this time.

Dawn has come and she promised only stars would see her cry.

It was not the time to cry.

"I promised to find you, no matter what you may become."

It is time for her to fulfill her side of the promise.

Maintaining a façade is something she had practiced so well for over 13 years. She's an expert in it. In the past, it was to blind herself from the truth but this time she could use it for something else. If this fear of losing him and finding the truth tried to render her crumbled and lost, then this fragile shell of that long-lost puppet probably could help her stand straight.

It needed so much courage to get back into that chamber, the chamber she used with Clive in the past few months. The bed was small and at times Jill woke up finding Clive sleeping on the sofa before the window instead. They would cuddle at night, making use of the small space, and breath in each other's scent to sleep. Just going inside the room filled Jill's lungs with his scent, forcing her to close her eyes to contain the pang of pain that assaulted her immediately. Being in Clive's chamber made all her pain resurface again. The fear of finding out whether she lost him or not, the fear of losing him, was so petrifying that she could feel her body almost lose its power and want nothing but to buckle down and cry again. Many times in their journey, so much pain was born out of hope. Hope is so daunting. Hope means choices and many times it means pain. Even someone as strong as Barnabas discarded them. Yet without it, Jill knew she probably would not have enough power to find out the truth. No matter which way it ended, one way or another, she needed this closure. Clive had told her that she was never one to look away from the truth. She wanted to be that Jill Clive saw in her. She would make it true this time as well. She wanted to always be the part of her that he loved.

It was her time to find him.

This was not the time for melancholy. Jill went to the small chest near the bedside and took her sword, sheathing it. Her eyes scanned the room for a while, resting for a bit on Clive's memories corner. There, her Garland still looked as fresh as ever. She did put a bit of spell on it. Freezing something is a simple task for her. Why, she used to be ice itself. Now she was ice no longer.

Beyond the chamber window, she could see several Hideaway Bearers were up, pointing at the blue sky which they had missed for so many moons.

The three princes did it. They killed a God. They had answered the faith of so many people. These are but a few of many more out there.

She wanted him to see it. She wanted to be there when his blue eyes took in everything. She wanted to be there with him smiling. She wanted to face the new days together.

With that resolve in her heart, she took in a deep breath, breathing in his scent for one last time. She then opened the door and walked out the room in sure steps, Torgal by her heel. Below the steps, Gav, Otto, Charon, Tarja, and Mid were waiting. A bit far away from them, there was Jote as well. Everyone looked at her expectantly, waiting for the news. Jill was the only Dominant in the Hideaway now. She understood that she was the only one who could tell them what happened with the three who went for Origin. However, among them, Gav seemed to avoid looking at her. He probably saw her storming out of the infirmary last night and noticed her demeanor. He must have felt the same fear she felt. The same fear that they both did not want to put into words.

"Jill."

Otto was the first one to talk. He looked solemn and hopeful. His calling her was already a question.

Jill nodded.

"Yes, I believe so, Otto."

They still live. Joshua had said if they failed, it would be certain death to humanity. Yet they still lived and the sky was once again spread out over them, no longer an angry red. The gigantic Mothercrystal called Origin which loomed over what used to be Twinside, was also gone from the horizon.

"I believe it's over now."

Relief flooded everyone's faces and they looked at each other, giving each other a nod and a smile. The question, of course, did not stop there. Mid looked into her straight.

"And… what of the three?"

The hardest one to answer, something which she, too, needed to settle.

"… I can't feel them anymore. Their Eikons' aether disappeared."

More or less, all of them had braced themselves for the worst. Why, they went to kill a God. What kind of human could go home after killing a God? It would be the most predictable outcome. Success itself is already a miracle. Know that, they did, but still, nothing could lessen the pain of facing loss. Watching the loss settle in their eyes made Jill continue.

"But so does Shiva."

"Eh?"

Jill looked into everyone's eyes.

"So does Shiva. I cannot feel Shiva anymore."

"Does that mean…?" With eyes glassy with tears, Mid stepped forward hopefully. Still, Jill shook her head.

"I don't know. I don't know what that means."

Which means only one thing.

"So I am going to find out."

The next words came out stronger now with the resolve in her heart.

"And I am going to find him. I had made my promise."

"Jill…"

Otto seemed like he wanted to say something but he swallowed it back. He closed his eyes for a while then nodded.

"Their job might be over, but I guess it isn't over for us."

"You will find him, will you, Jill?" Mid caught her hand, looking hopeful. She squeezed Jill's arms gently. Jill nodded.

"I will. I must. No matter what he might become."

Tarja sighed heavily at her words. She scoffed.

"Perhaps I should remind you that you too, should come back in one piece, Your Ladyship."

"I could try."

Tarja raised her shoulder. She had enough of empty promises from all of them, for sure. Jill looked back at Mid, putting her hand on top of the one that was on her arm.

"I need your help, Mid."

"Just ask me, anything."

"I trust you know about the currents around Twinside? If Origin was destroyed and all Eikons disappeared, I don't think Joshua or Dion could fly them away from there. I want to know where they might get stranded. We can begin our search from there."

Mid showed her usual grin and a confident look. Her smile always felt like summer, so bright and strong. She made Jill feel like everything had started to move again.

"Better start getting our ass on the job, then." Gav suddenly said. He met Jill's eyes, a small smile on his face.

He had the same resolve. They both understood each other.

"Yes. There's much to do."

The three had given them the new world. Now it was their turn to find them and bring them back home.

"Don't worry about anything, we have your back. We all should play our parts."

That was the last thing Otto said to her before she got onto Obolus's ship. Otto would mobilize the informants for information gathering and the usual scouting around the Realm. Gav would go around Ran'dellah and Kanver to find out what happened around there and search the coastline. Mid would go to Kanver to get on Enterprise to search the coast of Ash. Although Barnabas had been bested, the land was still teeming with Akashic and Orcs. They decided that it was best for them to not go on land too much. She would have Doris and several Cursebreakers with her, however. Doris had been in Ash before due to her mission with Clive so she knew what they would meet there. Jill and Torgal would go to the coasts of Sanbreque, tracing the coastal line and visiting villages. With that done, everyone went their separate ways.

To be honest, there was one more thing Jill would like to know. She tried to use Clive's stolas to inform Byron about the current situation but it did not work. The bird just nipped at her finger and looked at her curiously. The glow of aether on its forehead had completely disappeared and it was nothing more than an inquisitive owl. The aether, too, was gone. With the Hideaway in the Deadland, Jill had no way of knowing if the state of the world also remained as it was or if her conjecture was right. She assumed the aether coursing through her veins was gone due to Shiva being gone, but after the stolas, she was not so sure anymore. It could be that aether had been wiped away.

They had been talking about living on their own terms. About killing a God. About destroying Mothercrystal. But none of them really grasp the magnitude of the change to the entire world. They already saw by their own eyes the trouble their work caused as the crystals gradually lost their function and Bearers gradually unable to conjure magick. Though in the end, they still could, to a degree. So Jill still has yet to understand what actually having no aether means. It was hard to understand it here in the Deadlands. The only place where she could see it for herself is by stepping outside the Hideaway.

Jill felt relief when she saw the grass stretching towards Orabelle Down beyond the Blighted land surrounding Bennumere Lake where the Hideaway was located. The grassland still lived on. Beyond that, the Greatwood.

The moment she stepped onto the grass toward Sanbreque, she immediately felt something different. The air, which had been rich with aether for the past few months, now felt light. It smelled fresh. It smelled of grass, flower, and wind. Something that had been in the air had been lifted, gone. Like it's missing something. Jill could pretty much guess what was missing. This must be what the air would be like at the Deadlands without the Blighted dust littering the air.

It's aether.

The air was missing aether.

Now it felt like life had instead seeped into every grass, every leaf, or even latch on the sunshine. It's life itself instead of being a separate entity. Jill could not explain why she could say so, she just felt it. Torgal also started to sniff around now. His tail held high and started to wag a little. Foreign as it may be, he seemed to find it pleasant as well just like she did. Moreover, the usual dark hue of aetherfloods pockets around the plain had now disappeared. The plain was lush and green and teeming with life. She could see the bushes and also seemed to be delighted that the sun is back. Bushes, monsters, and animals alike.

Jill raised her magick hand and tried to conjure ice on her hand.

Nothing.

No light, nothing.

She could no longer use magick. It was real now. Shiva was gone and so had aether.

Torgal barked. He turned back to look up at her. He appeared worried.

"I'm okay, Torgal."

Smiling, Jill stroked Torgal's soft fur. He must have sensed her feelings.

The emptiness in her heart felt like it was her own self that was looking for something, for a side of her that had been there for long and now lost.

It was true that Shiva had been a burden to her, a curse more than she was a gift. She made her go through her horrid 13 years in the Iron Kingdom. Having her was the reason she was lashed and battered, forced to kill. Her swordsmanship was taught by torture and fear. She went through countless nights in pain and tears. And yet it was also a part of her. It was her sin, hope, and power. It's undeniable that it was the one who made her meet Clive once again. It made her feel she belongs when she doubt herself. It made her feel required and needed until Clive kissed her doubt away. She had so many conflicting emotions towards the Eikon that even now, she could not name this feeling in her heart.

She is Jill Warrick. Nothing more and nothing less. No more Dominants attached to her and she is a warden no more.

Eikons had disappeared. Aether as well. And so is magick.

Straightening up after petting Torgal, Jill tried to conjure magick once more.

None.

She closed her fist. Now Tarja's potion would be her only cure and she could no longer call upon ice to fight with her. Her fighting style had been mainly magic, especially because she was never really taught regular swordmanship. Hers was only to survive and to cause death. She had not been that keen on swordfighting for self-preservation. She should be more careful now.

Torgal whimpered again, getting his snout under her other arm. He must be very worried.

She finally kneeled, both hands rubbing Torgal's head. He seemed to find solace in her touch and started to snuggle. His tail wagged again.

The one missing something was not only her. Torgal, too, lost his ability and his magick. He must have felt it as well. Jill felt sorry for not realizing it sooner. She patted the big pup gentler now, meeting the gentle yellow eyes to try to give him some more reassurance.

"We're in this together, Boy. It'll be okay."

He barked surely now. Yes. They're in this together. After all, Joshua and Clive were important to both of them. That feeling of losing your power sure felt unsettling but they had no time to waste. They should just get used to it as they press on.

"Okay, enough melancholy now, right, Boy? Let's start moving."

First thing first. They have to reach Northreach. Hopefully, they won't meet too many monsters or Akashic. She would need some time to get used to the lack of magick. Meeting some Notorious Marks while trying to get a hang of things would only get her another fit of Tarja's scolding later on.

To be continued

Author's note: I personally would not want Jill to just sit and wait for Clive to come back, especially after she had promised that she would find him no matter what he would become in that particular beach scene. In my interpretation of Jill, she has a lot of fire in her, despite being ice.

In the English subtitle, Jill said, "And I promise I will be there no matter what you may become." while in Japanese subtitle, Jill said "I promise that I will find "you" no matter what happens."

I kinda mixed that up in my mind. But basically, what is "written" in this fic was a mash up between two subtitles.