Huddled around the Naka shrine, Fugaku Uchiha, clan leader of the Uchiha clan looked grimly around him. Many Uchiha had gathered this time, and the grumbling of each and every one of them echoed in the dimly lit cave.
"Silence!" he commanded. "We are Uchiha, not commoners, and we must behave with honor!" he growled.
"But Fugaku-sama... the Hyuga... the Hyuga have..." a young man with long hair whimpered.
"Yes, yes, I am aware of the Hyuga treachery. They have declared war on us, and we will not overlook their actions," Fugaku intoned. "Trust me, they will pay."
xxx
A few days later, two of the Hyuga elders (cough, raisins) nearly choked when news regarding the latest moves of the Uchiha reached them. An emergency joint meeting of both Main and Branch Houses (something unheard of during times of peace) was called.
Hiashi Hyuga, clan leader of the Hyuga, made his way to the meeting with a fashionable delay, adhering to decorum as much as possible.
Times might've been rough, but decorum. Yes, a proper Hyuga adheres to decorum in the most adverse of situations.
The two chunin guards of the council chamber opened and closed the doors without noise, and Hiashi nearly glided towards his position, and sat down gracefully. With a delicate gesture, he motioned for the two elders to have called the meeting to declare the purpose of the meeting.
"Our hike in price for hair conditioners has produced unexpected consequences," the eldest of the two said, bowing his head. "The Uchiha have doubled the prices for their chain of hairdressers for non-Uchiha customers."
"They assume our clan cannot handle the price hike. How presumptuous on their part!" another raisin spoke in a most dignified manner.
"We can always ignore their hairdressers and go to the competition!" a rather young man spoke.
"Impossible!" the first elder spoke with disdain. "We have our honor to think about. We'll take their prices. Chunin and above will subsidize the genins and academy students. I hate to admit it, but the Uchiha hairdressers are the best, and we cannot afford to lose face by overlooking the way we present ourselves in society!"
"I agree," Hiashi said, his eyes slightly slit. "We will continue to use their hairdressers. Tomorrow, we will all make appointments, so that the Uchiha can't overcrowd them with their own."
The entire council nodded in agreement. Let it be known that despite the cast system of the Hyuga clan, the one thing that united them was the care with which they treated their hair. The small fire jutsu that the Uchiha used to temper the tips so they don't shear also helped with keeping their hair in pristine condition, even during extreme conditions.
xxx
"They did what?" Fugaku exclaimed.
"The Hyuga have flooded our hairdressers. They've set up appointments for the entirety of the next three months," an agitated Uchiha reported.
"Damn them," Fugaku growled. He couldn't get a break. "I have an A-class mission for all clan members. Buy all conditioner, shampoo, and associated hair products. Even curlers. Everything!" Fugaku yelled, losing his composure.
"H-H-Hai, Fugaku-sama," the man stuttered.
xxx
"Bribe them! Steal them! I don't care what you come up with!" Hiashi yelled. "No matter what, we can't let the Uchiha hoard all the hair produce!"
xxx
"Paid vacation for the hairdressers!" Fugaku said calmly, holding his hands in a triangle.
xxx
"Increase the production for hair products by at least two fold!" Hiashi said sternly.
xxx
"This can't go on. We need to take over Konoha to stop this madness!" Fugaku declared, and all Uchiha save for Itachi and Shisui nodded. The two best friends had been cutting and applying treatment to each other's hair as a hobby for years. What did you expect? All strong shinobi had a quirk.
xxx
Two days after the fall of Uchiha, Shibi Aburame sat in front of his son, his right eyebrow raised by 0.67 mm.
"Son, were you or were you not involved in the incident regarding the Hyuga aloe greenhouses?" the stoic man asked.
Shino Aburame nodded.
"Good job, son," Shibi said, and turned to leave. "We will never speak of this," he added, and disappeared through the door.