The next morning, Sirius said goodbye to his family, mounted his motorbike and set off for Hogsmeade. His family stood at the entrance door to see him off. He made rapid progress and after a two hours ride, he reached the outskirts of the only settlement in Britain exclusively inhabited by wizards. It was a weekday and therefore he was sure that it would not be crowded by students. Wondering what to do next, he parked his motorcycle. Eventually he decided to visit the graveyard first. He could not remember Hallie's family name and was not even sure if he had ever known it. Still, he hoped her grave might reveal something about her family. But he could not find it. Clearly, she had not been buried in Hogsmeade. Someone had come to take care of her after she had passed away. Sirius headed back into the village. As he turned into the main street, he was momentarily overcome by the memory of four happy young men in school uniforms, walking down the street arm-in-arm, laughing and chatting animatedly. What in the world had become of them? Carefree and full of hope, they had believed they were heading towards a happy and bright future. But all their dreams had shattered, and now three of them were no more, while he himself had suffered wounds to his soul from which he would never fully recover. And this simply because one of them no longer wanted to be overshadowed by the others.

Sirius shook off his dark thoughts and entered the post office where Hallie had worked for most of her adult life. When he enquired about her, he quickly realised that it might be difficult to find out more. The clerk who rushed out to serve him was a complete stranger and, as it turned out, had only moved to the village after Hallie's death. All he knew was that Hallie had always performed her duties satisfactorily. Sirius thanked him and stepped out into the street. His last visit to the village dated back to his school days. When he had escaped from Azkaban and had spent almost a year hiding near Hogwarts in search of treacherous Peter, he had not dared to enter the village, even in his Animagus shape, for fear of pushing his luck too far. Instead, he had remained within the protective anti-dementor boundary that Professor Dumbledore had placed on the school grounds or had hidden in the Shacking Shack. As a result, many parts of the village now were unfamiliar. Several shops had changed hands and it seemed pointless to inquire there. When he entered the Three Broomsticks and casually asked about Hallie, Madam Rosmerta brusquely dismissed him, making it perfectly clear that Hallie was a subject she refused to discuss with anyone.

Sirius was about to give up his research when he decided to make one last attempt at the Hog's Head and was relieved to find Aberforth Dumbledore still standing behind the bar counter as he entered the pub. Sirius dropped onto a barstool. When Aberforth glanced up, a look of surprise spread across his face. He peered at Sirius and broke out laughing heartily. "Well, well, well. One of the old bunch. Sirius Black. Of all those members of the Order back then, you were the last person I would have trusted to come out of the whole mess in one piece. What are you having?". "A whisky". Aberforth filled a glass and placed it in front of Sirius. Then he poured himself a shot. "To the good old days". Sirius repeated. "To the good old days". Aberforth refilled their glasses. "Since I don't suppose you've come here out of sheer sentimentality and nostalgia for an old comrade in arms, I think you've stumbled across the boy". Sirius nodded. Aberforth continued. "That was predictable. I sent him to London, hoping he would eventually encounter you there". Sirius raised his eyebrows. "He couldn't have stayed here much longer. After Hallie died, I thought it was time his father cared for him. But you didn't know about him, did you? Anyway, there was a much greater chance that he met you at the Leaky Cauldron than at Hogsmeade. What business would you be having here?". They drank in silence. Sirius lit a cigarette, not knowing what to say. "Does he know?". Sirius shook his head. "I wanted to find out what happened before telling him".

Aberforth nodded. Then he continued, "In those days there were rumours that someone was pleasing the ladies. Locals and travellers passing through. Such things do not remain secret in a small town like this. But no one had ever seen him coming, and the ladies were very tight-lipped about these encounters". He chuckled. "There was much speculation, and finally everyone was convinced it was someone from Hogwarts. A teacher, of course. Nobody considered a student. But we never found out how he managed to sneak out of school and into the ladies' bedrooms unnoticed. When I eventually learned that you were an Animagus, I knew it was you and how you did it. You were both exceptionally gifted, you and Potter. Yes, you were indeed. And I heard you accomplished even more extraordinary things some years later. After you died". He laughed out loud. Sirius said nothing. "And now you've discovered that one of your secret nights of passion had consequences. Tell me, what do you want to know?". Sirius cocked his head to the side and asked, "What can you tell me?". "I assume you knew that Hallie was dating Madam Rosmerta's nephew Wilbur when you got involved with her?". Sirius nodded. "I was with her about two weeks before I graduated, and thus the end of term. We'd been to the village, the boys and me, and had a couple of drinks. On the way back I got separated from the others and bumped into her. She told me that her boyfriend was out of town and that she was feeling lonely. When she invited me over, I visited her that night. Just once". He sipped at his drink. Aberforth laughed. "I imagined it must have been like that. Just one night, eh? Understandable. Hallie was no beauty. And she wasn't a very pleasant person either. Whereas you obviously had the pick of the litter, from what I've heard. By the way, she was lying about her boyfriend, because Wilbur had dumped her before his departure".

Sirius emptied his glass in one gulp and asked for a refill. The news took him by surprise. He remembered vividly that he had only visited Hallie because she had made it clear that she needed a replacement for her absent boyfriend. Had she shown any deeper interest in him, he would have refused her offer, as he had no intention of getting involved with any of his partners. Aberforth continued, "To make a long story short, when Wilbur returned, Hallie was pregnant. Wilbur was over the moon and got engaged to her on the spot. Hallie urged him to marry her, and the wedding date was immediately set, the arrangements made, and the guests invited. Wilbur had to leave town again and, on his return, Hallie came down prematurely. It was said that Wilbur took one look at the baby and knew immediately that it was not his son and that he'd been duped. He instantly broke off the engagement, called off the wedding and disappeared, never to be seen again. That was in February 1979". Aberforth poured them another drink. "You know how people are. The boy had absolutely no resemblance to Wilbur and thus was a living prove of Hallie's deceit. She was being shunned and took out all her frustrations on the boy". He raised his hands in appeasement as Sirius straightened up. "She didn't beat him up or anything like that. I sort of kept an eye on him. I don't remember her holding him even once. And if she talked to him at all, it was to scold him. I never heard her talk to him like a normal human being. Most of the time she just ignored him. The boy spent a lot of time on his own. He stayed in the village and walked to Hogwarts every day when he was old enough to go to school. As you can imagine, he didn't make any friends that way and was quite lonely. From time to time, I would invite him in. He was so grateful for any kind of attention he could get. When Hallie died, I gave him some money and sent him to London. I hoped he'd run into you there. Despite those many strange stories you sparked, I always knew you were an honest man. I was sure that you would take care of him. And wasn't I right? That's why you're here, aren't you?". Sirius agreed, "Yes, that's why I'm here". Aberforth leaned over the counter. "What are you going to do now?". "I don't know yet. First, I wanted to know what happened before I approached him. Now I will consider the best course of action". Silently, Aberforth refilled their glasses, corked the bottle, and put it away. Sirius asked, "Why didn't you just write to me? Then I would have come". Aberforth considered the question. After a while, he said, "I just wasn't sure how you would react to the information. I have heard that you are married and have children. You could have disregarded a letter. I thought that if you saw the boy with your own eyes, it would make a certain impression on you. After all, he looks just like you did when you were his age". Raising his glass, he said, "Remember, Black, the boy has had it rough. Whatever your decision, don't do him any more harm". Sirius considered the words, nodded, and downed his drink. Then he slid off his stool and held out his hand to Aberforth. "Thank you for filling me in". Thoughtfully, he left the pub and strolled back to his motorcycle.

On his way home, Sirius mulled over the matter. When he landed at the back of the house, he knew how he would go about the problem. The boys were playing with Lizzy and Dinky on the lawn in front of the terrace. They ran to him and greeted him enthusiastically as he got off his bike. He hugged and kissed them and sent them back to play. Then he climbed up onto the terrace. Mercuria was sitting at the table, her sketchbook laying open in front of her. Sirius stepped up to her and kissed her. He sat down next to her and summoned a bottle of red wine and glasses. Mercuria looked at him and said "It seems that you already had a couple of drinks. Do you need to build up your courage to talk to me?". Sirius smiled wryly. "No. I only had to do that once. When I came to see you after my prison break for the first time". Mercuria nodded and watched silently as he filled their glasses. When he handed her one, she took it and sipped. "Tell me. What's ailing you?". "I had a strange encounter yesterday. After I left Regulus, I had another drink or two at the Leaky Cauldron. At a table, not at the bar. At some point a young man came in. A guest got into an argument with him, and I helped him out of the jam. Mercuria, I swear to you, the boy looked like me". "What are you trying to say?". "I have another son. That is why I went to Hogsmeade today to check things out". Mercuria smiled. "But that's wonderful. Did you speak to him?". Sirius shook his head. "Just petty stuff. Aren't you mad?". Mercuria looked at him perplexed. "Why on earth should I be mad? Sirius, please don't be silly. We've always played with our cards on the table. You had other partners before we met, and while I was living in Belgium, we both had other lovers. At least before you went to prison. I didn't after you came back to me". "Neither did I". Mercuria eyed him. "Besides, I always wondered that no little Black ever showed up at our house in search of his father". Sirius eyed her suspiciously. They drank in silence, and he refilled. "What do you mean by that?". "Honestly. You've had quite a few partners. I guess usually you didn't even care to ask their names. If one of them had been expecting your child, you wouldn't even have known. Ok, what now?". "Mercuria, at first I was of course highly surprised. Then I watched the young man closely. And I felt very sorry for him. He reminded me of a whipped dog. Shy and submissive. I want to change that and help him". Sirius looked at her determinedly. Mercuria nodded.

Sirius continued, "His mother was Hallie, a girl that worked at the post office in Hogsmeade. Days before I graduated from Hogwarts. I spent a night with her. She must have realised that I was the father. I don't know if she ever tried to contact me. But apart from my best friends, no one knew where I lived. If I had any inkling of this, I would have taken care of the child and, of course, supported her financially". Mercuria interjected, "I thought owls can find everyone no matter where he is". "No. There is a spell to protect yourself against unwanted mail. I cast it on my flat as soon as I moved in. A wizard on a broomstick can follow an owl quite effortlessly, even if it is flying at top speed. This would make it easy to track down someone you are looking for. You just need to send him a letter by owl mail. But someone who doesn't want to be found, knows this of course and protects himself accordingly. Therefore, if Hallie wanted to contact me, she had to ask one of my friends for my address. Perhaps she contacted my parents. But if she had managed to overcome their protective charms, they would have surely kicked her out as soon as they heard what it was about. If they spoke to her at all, which honestly would surprise me. Anyway, Aberforth told me how much the boy suffered. He has been neglected in every possible respect. I want to help him. And be a father to him". He bent towards her. When she stroked his cheek, tears welled up in his eyes.

Encouragingly, Mercuria said, "Well, why don't you fly down to London and invite the boy here?". Sirius did not answer. Sooner or later, she would figure it out herself. He knew she would. He waited and could nearly see her brain working, while she considered his options. Finally, she looked up, took a sip from her glass, and stated, "You don't want to bring him here now. You want to intervene much earlier. You want the boy to grow up in a safe, loving environment. You want to change his past with the help of the time-turner, right? And how exactly do you plan to do that? I suppose you've already picked out someone to raise him when you take him away from his mother". He laughed. "Of course. You". Mercuria thought she'd misheard. "I beg your pardon? And how exactly is this going to happen? Are you going to write yourself a letter again like we did, when we moved the casket of doom from one portrait to another?". "No, that wouldn't work here. Besides, I don't think we should push our luck. Too many things could go wrong if we tried it that way again. Furthermore, the practical implementation would be nearly impossible. I have figured out something else".

At great length, Sirius explained his plan to her. They discussed it all day and all night long. Sirius grew increasingly desperate while he presented his arguments to her time and again and she still refused to help him. Not until he was close to dropping the whole matter and finally swore all the oaths she demanded of him, did Mercuria agree to give him the support he asked of her. The sun was already rising on the horizon. When she finally relented, Sirius leapt to his feet, yanked her up from her chair and hugged her tightly. "I knew I could rely on you. You would never let me down". He covered her face with kisses, secretly wondering why she didn't share his enthusiasm. Perhaps she shrank from the responsibility he wanted to place on her by bringing Marius to Antwerp. After all, she would only be 18 years old in February 1981. But he was confident that she was up to the task. Just as she had been up to all the obstacles in her life.

Sirius looked at her tenderly. "Love, you are dead-tired. We've been talking for ages. Why don't you lie down and get some sleep? I must take care of a lot of things. Just get some rest". He pulled her close again and kissed her before he pushed her out the door with a slap on the butt. Then he sprinted downstairs to the basement where one of the cellar rooms housed his uncle's laboratory. Uncle Phineas had long since given up brewing potions. But when Sirius and his family had moved to the estate two years ago, he had painstakingly cleaned the shelfs, cauldrons and other equipment from dust and spiderwebs. Afterwards he had bought fresh ingredients and with them had gradually built up a stock of various useful potions. He grabbed three vials of Polyjuice Potion and poured the elixir into a bottle, before he returned upstairs and entered his great-great-grand-uncle's famous library, the second largest in the country after Howarts.

At the sight of the endless rows of bookshelves, Sirius' enthusiasm soon suffered a blow. When he had drawn up his plan, he had considered the hardest part of his mission to convince Mercuria of handing over the time-turner. To activate the piece would then be a cinch for a powerful wizard. If he knew the incantation. And exactly this was his problem. He had hoped to find some information on time travel in the library. But the quantity of books and folios was such that after a while Sirius began to doubt whether he would be successful. Moreover, he did not discover a single book whose title suggested forbidden practices. At dusk, he slipped into the kitchen and sat down with his family for a drink. "How are you doing?". He grumbled, "Badly. So far, I'm not really getting anywhere. There are just too many books. On top of that, I haven't come across a single book that describes Dark Arts or illegal practices. But I am sure these must be stored somewhere. Do you remember that Uncle Phineas gave us the recipe for the potion which eventually destroyed the book of the Healer Montalenfer? That potion sure belonged to the Dark Arts. I am absolutely convinced that there must be a hiding place somewhere in the library where all the banned writings are being held. While trying to find the incantation to activate the time-traveller, I looked for that secret compartment as well but found nothing. But I swear, I won't be discouraged that easily. I'll keep up the search". He got up and went to the door. When he turned around, he saw a sceptical look on Mercuria's face. What did she know that he did not?

Sirius spent the rest of the evening in the library. The kitchen was empty when he stumbled inside, highly frustrated, and tired. Dinky came running up with his dinner. "Where is my wife?". "Oh, Madam Black said she was very tired and went upstairs some time ago". Sirius nodded as he gulped down his meal. "Tell me something, Dinky. Is there a secret room in the library?". Dinky looked at him with big round eyes. "I'm afraid I don't know, Master Sirius. Master Phineas has forbidden me to go to the library. Only when he summoned me, I was allowed to enter". Suddenly Sirius had an inspiration. He jumped up and stormed into the living room where Phineas' portrait was hanging on the wall and placed himself in front of the painting. His ancestor smiled kindly down at him. "Sirius boy. What is it?". "Uncle Phineas, is there a secret room in the library?". Phineas beamed. "Yes, I suppose there is. Someday I'll tell you how to find it. But not now. You can do without it". Sirius grimaced. "You don't understand. I need to know. Desperately, even. The information I'm looking for might be there". "Perhaps yes, and perhaps no. Still, you've been looking in the wrong place all day. You know where to find the incantation you need. Remember". Slowly Phineas walked sideways out of his portrait. Sirius desperately called out, "Just a moment. Come back here. What does that mean, remember?". He had not seen the incantation before. Or had he? Before his inner eye he suddenly saw James who closely examined two writs which had accidentally slipped under a pile of files from witch trials that Mercuria had gathered for them in Belgium. The instructions to create a time-turner. He could not say whether the incantation he so desperately needed had been mentioned in the text, because neither he nor James understood the medieval French in which the manual was written. But the longer he thought about it, the more he was convinced that the magic words to activate the time-turner must have been hidden somewhere in the text. After all, it would have been completely pointless to draw up the blueprint for a time-turner without mentioning the charm to put the piece to operation. Mercuria had successfully created a time-turner which clearly showed that she had been able to read and understand the text and thus certainly knew the right words.

What a bitch! She had known all along what to do and instead of helping him she had watched his fruitless efforts. But why? Had she not promised to give him the piece? Sirius did not understand her strange behaviour. He steamed with rage as he stormed up the stairs to their bedroom. Mercuria was sitting up in bed and reading. When he rushed in, she looked up. He snatched the book from her hand and hurled it against the wall, before he angrily grabbed her arms and yanked her up so that she was at eye level with him. "Just tell me why?". Mercuria looked at him sadly. "I'm not sure this is such a good idea". Sirius asked in amazement, "Why not? Do you think you cannot cope with raising a child?". She shook her head. "No. That is not the problem. I'm scared of you". "Of me? What the hell gave you that idea?". "Sirius, I know you well. Perhaps better than you do yourself". "Then tell me please why you are afraid?". She turned her face away from him. "Tell me. Right now", he yelled and realised that she was wincing in dismay. In a strained voice she said, "Sirius, I'm afraid you'll use this opportunity to change things that shouldn't be changed. Honestly, I was always glad that Lucius owned a time-turner and not you. I created my piece back then because I was worried about you. So that I could intervene if something happened to you. Remember, how many risks you took when you were a member of the Order. By the way that's also the only reason why I wanted to read the Healer Montalenfer's book. To learn how to bring the dead back to life. In case it ever became necessary. Which it did. I was always sure that Lucius wouldn't use his time-turner. Why? Because he was quite content with his life, and he had no intention of saving others, least of all Voldemort. When his wife died, for some time I expected him to use the piece. But he didn't. I'm not sure what you will do if you had one though. There are so many events which you might want to change". Sirius was taken aback. "What would I want to change?". She shrilled at him, "James. You miss him. After all this time, you still miss him. Sometimes when I watch you, your mind is far away. Your eyes get all misty, like a curtain being drawn. Then I know you're thinking of him, and I can feel your pain at the loss. And as the memory slowly fades away, your eyes become all black with longing. When you pestered me tonight to give you the time-turner, I could read in them how your disappointment grew. And your anger and hatred. At me. Until I couldn't bear the sight anymore and consented. That's when your eyes lit up with anticipation and excitement, the way they only do when we are making love. Sirius, you will meet James, and he will be just as you remember him, months before he died. You will talk to him, laugh about his jokes, perhaps even hug him. I am afraid that you cannot resist the temptation to change the past. Because it would be so easy. Just a tiny little hint, and everything will be fine. I know what you have in mind". She started to sob. "But nothing will be all right, believe me. Nothing at all. He wouldn't want it, you hear me... goddamn, he wouldn't even want it. Just let him rest in peace".

Immediately his anger subsided. Sirius let go of her and she fell onto the bed, where she lay sobbing loudly. He sat down beside her and stroked her tenderly. In fact, when he had devised his plan, he had considered to adjust one or two "small things" in the past. At first, it had indeed been seemingly insignificant things. But before very long, his musings had culminated in thoughts of saving Lily and James and spare himself the Azkaban experience. In the end though, he had admitted that this was impossible. In a moment of extraordinary lucidity, he had recalled the situation weeks before Voldemort killed the Potters and then disappeared. Their resistance had been at an end. He had honestly admitted that to himself. Within barely six months, they had lost a third of their comrades-in-arms, and the other side had outnumbered them twenty to one. With every member of the Order, who had disappeared or died, their position had become more untenable. No, they had had nothing left to oppose, and when Voldemort disappeared after he had attacked Harry, it had happened at the latest possible moment before his take-over. None of these arguments would have stopped Sirius though. But deep down inside he knew that James really wouldn't have wanted him to intervene. To accept this fact finally had caused all his pipe dreams to vanish into thin air and he had decided to strictly limit his time travel to the rescue of his son. Gently, he turned his wife onto her back and confessed his thoughts to her. The doubts on her face were unmistakable.

Sirius cradled her in his arms and gently rocked her back and forth. "Trust me, darling. Trust me. Even though there is nothing I want more than to have James by my side again and to change my own past, I won't use the time-turner to change our fate. I promise you that. On our children's lives". He let go of her and undressed, then he slipped into bed and wrapped his arms around her. As she snuggled against him and rested her head on his chest, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He reflected on what she had said. It was true, he missed James. He had never completely forgotten his best friend, though there had been times when the memory was buried deep inside and rarely came to the surface. But in the last few months he had longed for James more and more often, and now he wondered why. Suddenly the answer jumped out at him: He was bored. If there was one thing, he found hard to bear, it was monotony. For twelve long years in Azkaban, his life had been an unbearable void. Only his struggle against madness and his hatred had allowed him to persevere this long. The years after his escape from Azkaban had been full of excitement and activity, so he had had little reason and even less time to miss James. Looking back, the time he had spent with his best friend had likewise been filled with joint activities as a student at Hogwarts and later as a resistance fighter. But would this still be like that today? When James had died, he had been a young family man. If it had not been for Voldemort, he might have had more children. What would his life have been as a forty-year-old? Still as exciting as it had been back then in their schooldays and afterwards? Sirius wondered whether this was not the way it should be namely that a life became dominated by a certain monotony and routine over the years? That it was precisely this state of uneventfulness that led to satisfaction? Of course, this did not necessarily mean that presently his life was completely uneventful. But happenings now were less exciting and dangerous than they used to be with James. No more wild duels with Death Eaters, but motorbike races with his Muggle buddies. Throughout his time as a member of the Order of the Phoenix, he had been on a rollercoaster ride of emotions, in which fear of death alternated with boundless euphoria. This had come to an abrupt stop in Azkaban, only to pick up full speed again after his escape. In the Muggle world he had heard of soldiers who returned home from war and could not find their way back to a peacetime life. Was this his problem? Could he only feel alive and happy when there was a dark threat lurking out there somewhere that needed to be fought? Sirius looked down at Mercuria and felt her regular breaths on his chest. Tenderly, he caressed her cheek, and she purred softly in her sleep. No. Sirius decided he was not like that. If he felt bored with his situation, then he must change something. Everything he needed to make his life exciting was close at hand. Even without James. Therefore, as soon as he had settled the affair with Marius, he would execute some important changes. He closed his eyes and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.