Prologue

1998

„You can't be serious, Will!" Mac incredulously looked at her husband. „I don't know what Brian has said, but I told you, it was years ago! We had barely met and..."

„Shut it, MacKenzie," he interrupted her with a voice of steel, but still mindful of the two little bundles laying in their cribs he kept his voice low. „I know everything I need to know."

He took a deep breath. „Get out."

Tears shot into her eyes. „What are you saying? We love each other, we..."

„All I know is that I can't stand to look at you anymore." Will couldn't hide the hurt in his voice. „Get out and never come back."

„Will!" She gasped. „We can work this out. If you'd just listen I'd..."

„I'm not interested. I'll give you 2 hours to pack your stuff, and then I want you to be gone."

Mac stared at him, but realised that he was not in any disposition to listen to her, so she slowly nodded. „I will go to a hotel for the night and come back tomorrow, so that we can talk. I know that you have to digest this first, but then we need to sit down together."

Will's eyes were unrelenting and cold. „There's no need. You will hear from my lawyer."

Mac's world came tumbling down.

She was living her dream; this was what she had always dreamt her future to be. She was married to the man she loved and had two beautiful little girls with him, just a few weeks old.

And now her despicable ex-boyfriend had made a remark to her husband in passing, revealing that three years ago, after she had just met Will, she had gone back to see her ex a couple of times. She had never told Will about it, because for her it was ancient history. She got that he was upset, of course, but how could it be so bad that he wanted to end their whole relationship about it, without even talking to her?

Her knees buckled and her head was spinning, so she shakily sat down on the couch. And suddenly she was furious. „What the hell do you think you are doing? You can't just cut me out of your life! We are married. We are fucking happy, and now we have two babies who need us!"

His icy-blue eyes focused on her, but his voice couldn't hide all of his emotions. „I've told you, I never want to hear from you again. The girls and I will be fine. So please, go!"

Mac's head shot up. „What? You can't just decide to keep the babies! I can't believe that you seriously want ta divorce, but if you are really serious we have to work out a custody agreement. We..."

„No." Will shook his head. „They will stay with me. I'm the breadwinner of this family and..."

„Because you made me stop working, until they are older! They are my babies, I will never give them up!" She was outraged. How on earth could he suggest she should simply leave them behind?

Mac looked at him, but she didn't recognize the man she loved anymore.

Where was her loving, caring husband, who always put her and now also the kid's well-being first? Of course she understood that he was upset about her cheating, but hadn't she proven herself and her love over and over ever since?"

He sighed. „All I know is that I won't be able to deal with you anymore. Seeing you every week, picking up the kids, deciding about school, fighting about the holidays, the whole shebang. So they will stay with me."

She couldn't believe that apparently his love had turned to hatred in an instant, and all she wanted to do was cry, but right now she needed to fight for her children.

„Who the fuck do you think you are?" Mac got up to stand in front of him, his enormous height only adding to her fury. „I'm their mother. I have carried them inside me for nine months. I'm the one taking care of them all day, while you are at work. Of course they will stay with me!"

This was the beginning of an argument that seemed to last for hours, especially once Mac realized that by claiming custody of both children, Will intended for her to be completely cut out of their lifes. At least she offered him visitation rights, which apparently wasn't an option for him, because then they would have to stay in touch.

Finally Will abruptly turned around and walked over to the window. He didn't say anything for a long while, but then his shoulders sagged and he spoke hesitantly, his voice cracking. „I can't... I just can't... If we can't agree on their home, there is only one solution."

Mac was exhausted from their fight and had gone over to the cribs to look down at her beautiful girls, who had miraculously slept through all of it, but now she turned her head to him. „And what would that be?"

She was afraid of his answer, and her worst fears were met when he continued, his voice laced with tears. „We each get one."

Instinctively Mac's mouth opened to protest, but instead silence filled the room. She hated to admit it, but the longer she thought about it, the more she had to agree with him.

He apparently didn't want to have anything to do with her anymore, and as much as she loved him, she would not be able to see him on a regular basis whilst knowing that she had lost him. Still, she protested, but it sounded week even to her own ears.

„We... we can't separate them. They are twins, they surely have a special bond."

Will came over to her and looked at his daughters. „We will not tell them. They'll never know they have a twin. No letters, no phone calls, no visits..."

Mac gave a sudden sob and tears started to run down her cheeks. „Do you realize what you are saying? You want me to give up my child?" Another thought occured to her. „And how do you want to divide them up anyway? Do you want to draw straws or roll the dice?"

Her last words had sounded almost hysterical, so Will forced himself to put a hand on her shoulder but didn't look at her, while he took a deep breath. „Don't ever think I don't love them both the same, but Charlotte is named after my mother, and Penelope is named after your grandmother..."

When Mac didn't reply but only cried harder, he picked up Charlotte and handed her to her mother, while he took Penelope into his arms and moved back to the window to whisper into her ear. „I love you, little Pippa, I love you so much, but this is for the best. You have an amazing mother, and she will give you the best life ever."

He cradled her to his chest to press soft kisses to her tiny head, and he couldn't prevent a hot tear falling onto her onesie. When he looked over to Mac he saw her say good-bye to Charlotte as well.

With a heavy heart he finally walked back to the beds and put his daughter down. „I will pack a few things and then go to a hotel with Charlie. I'll give you a couple of days to clear everything out here. You can leave the keys with the doorman downstairs."

Mac didn't say anything but only looked at him with tear-stained eyes. She was still hoping beyond hope that this was all a bad dream, and the real Will would walk through the door and save her – them - from this nightmare.

Instead she had to watch him walk out of the room.

Turning her eyes back to little Charlie her tears continued to fall. „I'm so sorry, baby, I'm so sorry, but I have messed everything up between your dad and me. I love you so much..." She choked on her tears and could only look at the girl, trying to memorize her face and baby smell forever, when Will came back.

He gently stroked little Pippa's face one more time and bent down for another kiss, before he held out his arms towards Mac.

„Will, please!"

Although he silently shook his head, she could see that he was barely hanging on himself. She realized it was over, and with a last kiss and a breaking heart she handed Charlotte over to him and then fell to her knees. „Take good care of her."

She didn't see Will nod nor the tears that pooled in his eyes and prayed that he would just leave, so that he wouldn't see her break down completely. After a few minutes that felt like hours she noticed him pick up his bag and saw his feet slowly moving towards the apartment door. When he had opened it, he turned around one more time.

„Have a good life, Mac."

All she could do was cry even harder, and when the door had closed, she wailed.

„Charlie!"