Kathleen Wells once again sat calmly at her work desk with her specialized laptop bestowed by Cognite, the Ancient of Wisdom. She was updating her advice blog and prayed that the Ancient of Wisdom would make it public in her new friend Magdalene's reality. She sipped her hot coffee before doing a few finger exercises. Before she typed her blog, she logged onto YouTube and opened a new playlist for Christen music. Mag had recommended she listen to some songs before her next visit.
Kathleen desired to know more about God, and Mag had a point. Some individuals connect better to the Almighty through music then reading scripture. On Mag's recommendation, she listened to songs from a Christian band called "Casting Crowns." The song "Courageous" began playing as she wrote this week's advice blog. This week was about how to maintain a healthy relationship.
"Everyone worldwide has had both positive and negative relationships. While I'll talk more next week regarding how to recognize and remove yourself from a toxic one, I'd first like to go over ten crucial rules for maintaining a functional relationship, whether romantic or platonic.
The following directions aren't from any rule book, nor are they meant to be judgmental. They're merely rules I've contrived based on my life experiences. So, with that said, let's go over Kathleen's Ten Rules for a Healthy Relationship.
Rule One: You need to acknowledge the hardships in the relationship. Even if you don't desire to hear about the relationship difficulties or that someone else has issues with you. It would be best if you listened to what they are dissatisfied about. It's vital to actively listen because you can't resolve your relationship troubles without listening and acknowledging them first.
Rule Two: Don't run away or sidestep the issues. When you procrastinate or ignore the problem, this only exacerbates the issue, which delays uncovering resolutions and mending things while they can be fixed.
Rule Three: Remember to listen to each other actively. There is a difference between hearing and listening. Avoid just hearing and repeating your friend/lover. Instead, listen to their words and feel their emotions. It's vital to take the time to understand why they see and feel like they do.
Rule four: Don't make the other person do all the work. It takes two people to make a relationship function. Therefore, do your part and put forth the effort on your side.
Rule five: Accept responsibility for your mistakes. If you cannot accept your errors that have caused issues within the relationship, you won't be able to work towards solutions with the other individual. Accept responsibility and actively change your behavior towards the other person.
Rule six: Be respectful while working things out. Give each other the respect and kindness they deserve, and don't disregard what they say. It may not be what you want to hear about yourself. Yet don't try and deny what others have to say, either. We can't see how others see us; others may see us in ways we might not want to see ourselves.
Rule seven: Good communication is critical, and again, working together and not shutting down or making one person's fault. Furthermore, it goes two ways. You both have to work on repairing your relationship. Likewise, don't tell the other what they should've done to solve the current problems after listening to what the other has to say.
Rule eight: Apologies go a long way. A genuine apology has to come from the heart and not be an excuse in any shape or form. You need to genuinely understand what you did wrong and be willing to correct the behavior. Understanding how you hurt this person is the first step toward a sincere apology.
Rule nine: Be ready for the long road and know it won't be fixed overnight, but stay committed and don't get frustrated. Try to keep calm while working it out.
Rule Ten: Take breathers, but remember it will take both parties time, patience, and effort to fix a relationship, but both must be willing to try.
Those are my ten rules for maintaining a healthy relationship. I'll end this blog with some advice from a book about positive thinking.
Apologizes and Forgiveness aren't the same
"I'm sorry" doesn't liberate you from guilt. Nor does forgiveness mean that harm hasn't been done. An apology only means you are apologetic for your transgression. However, asking for someone's forgiveness signifies something else entirely. In asking for forgiveness, you demonstrate that your relationship is more meaningful then your ego. You hope to regain the respect lost because of your wrongdoings.
Acknowledgment of wrongdoing is exceptionally significant. Humility is of equal significance when it comes to asking for forgiveness. Showcasing humbleness indicates you've evoked your greatest strength. That's all for this week's blog. In my next blog, I'll discuss toxic relationships and how to recognize them. Plus, it provides tips for escaping such abusive relationships. Until next time, this is Kathleen Wells signing off." With that, Kathleen finished updating her blog. She then headed off to make dinner and then take a bubble bath.