Chapter 5 – katana

Pov carl

Daryl and Maggie left a couple hours ago to go find formula for the baby. Dad stopped crying after a while and ran off into the tooms, I don't think he's really present right now, he hasn't even come to see his own daughter yet.

Me and Harlow along with Beth are waiting in cell block c for Maggie and Daryl to get back from the run. nobody really spoke and all I wanted to do was cry about mum but I can't, I have my little sister to protect now. I'm also not allowing my brain to drift towards t-dog who didn't make it back from the run with dad and the others, I can't allow myself to grieve him yet.

I try to think of names for my sister since it seems to be up to me to name her because dads not around to, and mums dead. I consider naming her after Sofia or another fallen member of our group, but I don't want the first feeling the group gets when referring to the baby to be grief.

Eventually Daryl and Maggie come back with formula. Daryl takes the baby to feed her and temporarily names her "little ass kicker" it's the first time I've smiled since she was born, who would have thought Daryl would be the one to lighten the groups mood when we all needed it.

Pov Harlow

I wake up with the sun as usual, however I leave my tower shortly after, I want to go check on how the baby's doing after her first night sleep.

When I get to cell block c I see carl, Beth, Hershel, Daryl, glen and Maggie all sat around the table eating cereal. I notice Beth is holding the baby to so I look at her when I ask "how is she doing," Beth smiles tiredly and reply's "good I think she was a little fussy falling asleep but didn't wake through the night by some miracle."

I nod and say "that's unusual in one of the foster homes I was in there were twin new-borns in the house. They would cry every night for the first phew months of their life. Sometimes me and Enola would rock them for hours just so their poor mother could get some sleep."

Beth nods in sympathy and things slip into an awkward silence as it often does when I try make conversation. I sigh and grab a bowl of stale cereal more for something to do than because I'm hungry.

The tension in the room is Brocken when glen gasps "I just remember we managed to get you cloths on yesterday's morning run just give me a second." He quickly goes to his cell and comes out with a bundle of cloths. I'm relived honestly my prison uniform has felt like another thing separating me from the others. I don't really look at the cloths themselves until I'm back at my tower.

There are a couple pairs of underwear as well as two pairs of the exact same black cargo trousers plus two identical sage green tight fitting long sleeve tops, I assume Glenn must have got the stuff from an abandoned shop and not a house because of the duplicates and the cloths feel pretty new. There is also a pair if wine coloured knockoff doc martins and lastly a messenger bag that was quite big It was deep green with purple pins on it.

I make sure to transfer my lucky rock oldy from my prison uniform pockets to my cargo pockets. I sling the bag over my shoulder and consider going back to cell block c but decide against it, I would rather avoid the tense atmosphere from breakfast by staying in my tower.

I see glen and Maggie leave presumably for a supply run but don't think much of it.

I've been in my watchtower for a couple hours when rick and carl come into view followed by a couple others. What really gets my attention is ricks actually holding the baby and seems to have come back to reality a bit. I'm glad because it would be quite inconvenient if our leader lost his marbles.

I go down to greet them saying hi to carl when I see him. Everything's normal until rick stops like a dear in the headlights and stares at a random point in the fence, he absentmindedly hands the baby to carl and walks towards the fence.

We follow him and find a woman covered in walker guts holding a basket of baby formula standing at the fence surrounded by walkers. She cant talk as to not alert the walkers that she is human but she gives rick a 'let me in you asshole' look.

"Should we help her" carl asks to nobody in particular and I chime in "I think we should she's got formula" however before rick makes up his mind a walker realises, she's human and attacks.

As quick as lightning the woman whips out a katana and starts chopping walkers heads off left and right. However out of nowhere she passes out as rick opens the gate and grabs her. I take out my knife and stab two walkers in the head that where about to get carl as he ran for the abandoned baby formula.

"Shit, thanks I didn't even see them" carl says to me as we follow rick who's carrying the unconscious woman back to the prison. When we get to an empty cell Beth place a blanket down and lays the lady on it. It becomes apparent the woman has a gunshot wound to the thigh.

The woman begins to stir awake and jumps when she sees rick hovering over her, Rick tells her that "we won't hurt you, unless you do something first" but she doesn't respond to him instead choosing to lunge for her discarded katana on the ground however ricks to fast and kicks it out of her reach saying "were goanna keep that nice and safe."

Daryl comes in then, and asks "who the hell is that" to which rick says addressing the woman "I don't know will you tell us your name" the woman doesn't respond so Daryl says "rick we need to all talk about this." Rick gets up and says "alright carl grab the bag." Then rick speaks to the woman saying "your safe here and we can treat your leg." to which she reply's "I didn't ask for your help" rick sighs before turning to lock her in the cell and says "to bad we can't let you leave."

Everybody goes to discuss things but I stay behind, I don't really feel a part of the group socially. I'm still very much an outsider and I only really have a relationship with carl. Its like the group don't really know how to connect with me, they all have been together so long and I'm some random orphan that they found at a prison.

I resolve to start trying harder to make connections in the group even though being autistic means I have a lot of trouble navigating social situations and I usually say the wrong thing at the wrong time either embracing myself or making things awkward.

I decide to go talk to the lady because she's also an outsider and is probably really confused right now.

"Hey I wouldn't worry too much their good people; I've known them a couple of weeks and there not bad. I think rick wont let you leave because you could rat out our location to someone and that would put us in danger."

The woman stares at me clearly considering if she will respond. Evidently, she deems it safe to talk as she asks "if you have only known them a phew weeks how can you be certain there really good."

I consider my answer before speaking deciding there's not a point in lying to her because if she stays, she will find out anyway and if she doesn't then there's really no harm done. So, I say "I don't think anyone is ever really good or bad not even before the apocalypse. In my expense the world isn't black and white instead it's a world of grey. I know there decent because when they found this place a couple weeks back, they also found me. I was the last prisoner alive here. They could have turned me away when they found out I'm a murderer but they didn't, instead the listened to the reason I did what I did. Most people don't listen to each other they didn't before and they especially don't now not when survival relies so much of instinct and impulses."

If the woman was shocked at my confession her face didn't show it, instead she looked curious asking "what was your reason."

"The man I killed raped my twin and would have gotten away with it if I didn't take justice into my own hands," I say. she considers my response before saying "well then I'm glad you did what you" I smile at her and reply "I'm glad to."

Were quit for a minute before I ask her "what is your name anyway."

"Michonne, what's yours." I smile and answer "my names Harlow."

I decide I like this woman and her knack for making heavy conversations simple and relaxed. I hope she can stay, even though I know she could be dangerous I can't help to but think it would be nice not being the newest in the group.

A couple minutes later rick and the others come back in and Michonne stiffens as her relaxed demeanour becomes guarded again. Rick id first to speak saying "we can tend to that wound for you, give you a little food and water, and then send you on your way. But your goanna has to tell us how you found us, and why you were carrying formula."

I immediately want to object and ask rick to consider letting her stay but Michonne speaks first "the supplies were dropped by a young Asian guy with a pretty girl." Knowing that she must be talking about Maggie and glen rick questions "what happened?" and Hershel asks "were they attacked" to which Michonne responds "they were taken"

"Taken, taken by who?" rick asks and Michonne answers "by the same son of a bitch who shot me." Rick is clearly angered by the vague answer so he leans down to be eye level with Michonne and says "hey these are our people, so you tell us what happened NOW!" as he finishes his sentence he lunges forward and grabs Michonne's gun wound.

I'm enraged at the sudden unnecessary violence just because rick didn't get the exact answer he wanted. I see red as I kick rick in the shin and push him away from Michonne. Everyone is shocked by my actions and rick looks like he's about to yell at me but gets distracted by Michonne saying "don't, don't ever touch me again." Daryl buts in with "you better start talking, your goanna have a much bigger problem than a gunshot wound if you don't."

Everybody is angry but I'm furious as I shout over them all, "EVERYBODY STOP." They all look at me as I continue "you're acting like children she didn't do anything wrong; I doubt Michonne meant to be purposely vague and if you calmly asked her to elaborate you would have probably gotten the answer you wanted. However instead rick decided to man handle her and frankly if it was me, I wouldn't tell you guys shit after that."

I turn to Michonne before the others can say anything and calmly ask, "can you please tell us what happened to our people? We care a lot about them and need to try find them."

Michonne looks at me and seems to calm down she nods and answers, "there's a town Woodbury, about 75 survivors. I think they were taken there." I'm about to thank her for answering when rick speaks "a whole town?" Michonne nods at him and says "its run by this guy calls himself the governor—pretty boy, charming, Jim jones type."

I have no clue who Jim jones is but before I can ask Daryl speaks asking "he got muscle?" to which Michonne reply's "paramilitary wannabes. They have armed sentries on every wall" rick considers this a moment before he asks "you know a way in?"

Michonne answers him saying "place is secure from walkers, but we could slip our way through." "How did you know how to get here?" rick asks and Michonne reply's "they mentioned a prison, said which direction it was in, said it was a straight shot."

Rick and Michonne stare at each other for a whole 10 seconds and I have no clue because. Eventually rick points to Hershel and says "this is Hershel, father of the girl who was taken. He will take care of that" he motions to Michonne's gun shot wound before looking at me and saying "I want to have a talk with you"

To say the least rick does not look happy with me and I'm hesitant to follow him. I look at carl trying to silently ask what I should do and he gestures for me to follow rick so I do.

Rick leads me to an empty cell block before he gestures for me to sit down. He stares at me clearly unsure how to move forward with this conversation.

he's clearly very angry so after a couple minutes he takes a calming breath before saying "that was not acceptable behaviour, you can't attack me especially when I'm dealing with something important, you could have put the group in danger. I don't know how things were in prison but in this group, you have to show some respect."

I'm stunned for a minute then I'm pissed, how dare he bring up my theme in prison like that, treating me like I'm some uncivilised barbarian, it's never been clearer that rick still thinks like a cop.

I glare at rick before answering "I don't know what your definition of dealing with it is but it's clearly different from mine. All I saw was you attacking someone because you didn't get the exact answer you wanted. And in prison you don't just get respect you have to earn it. Why should I respect you when you lose your temper and act like an impulsive child."

His face gets red with anger before he spits back "it wasn't like that; she was being intentionally uncooperative I had to take control of the situation to get answers."

I'm about to yell at him but think better of it, he just lost his wife yesterday and probably isn't in the strongest mental state. He is also whither I like it or not the leader of the group so if I want to keep my place here, I need to be more diplomatic in my approach to this conversation.

I take a breath and address rick calmly, "sometimes people don't think the way you do rick. I don't think she was intentionally being un helpful. I for example may not always react the way most people would because I'm neurodivergent, sometimes people don't realise there either giving to little or too much information. All you had to do was ask Michonne to elaborate, you will notice when I calmly asked her for more information, she gave it. I won't stand by while someone is hurting another person with no good reason, I had every reason to kick you and push you off of Michonne."

Rick looked at me clearly adjusting to my shift in tone and sudden calmness. He didn't seem to have much to say after that, he just nodded and said "alright I won't argue with you on this, I will try not lash out if you do the same." I nod in response.

In the end I think me and rick came to an understanding, he was not responsible for me in the way he is for his son it isn't his place to be a parental figure. he's no more responsible for me than he is for the rest of the group minus his son. I doubt he will try scold me again unless I actually endanger the group.

Rick eventually leaves to go get ready for the glen and Maggie rescue mission so I decide I will watch the little ass kicker as Daryl calls the baby so Beth can have a break from doing it.