Chapter 10 – sick to death

Pov Harlow

The prison is flourishing everyone is asleep as I watch the sun rise like always with carl snoring behind me. I have the perfect view of the prison landscape its changed drastically in the last 30 days since the Woodbury people have arrived. There the outdoor kitchen that we built and long dining area in the field.

We have live pigs and crops that rick and a slightly reluctant carl look after. The prison has really become a home filled with life in the last month and it gives me hope that maybe one day humanity will be able to rebuild and create a society better that the one we had pre apocalypse. a society with less poverty and overpopulation where everyone has equal rights and the earth and wildlife are treated with care and respect.

It's a nice thought but I doubt I will be alive to see society rebuild; it might take 100 years or more for the world to regain order if it ever dose. Eventually the prison begins to wake up and about 2 hours after sunrise there's people spilling out into the courtyard and beginning their days.

I unceremoniously shake carl awake "rise and shine sunshine." I say ripping off carls covers as I do every morning. He throughs his pillow at me grumbling "I hate you; you know that." And I roll my eyes and going down to breakfast leaving carl to wake up in peace.

On the walk down to the dining hut I spot Daryl and catch up with him "morning big guy." I greet him "morning kid" He grumbles. I like to think that me and Daryl have gotten closer in the last month because I hunt with him almost every day and he taught me to throw knifes.

On the walk to the dining hut about 10 different people enthusiastically greet Daryl who just nods in return. Much to Daryl's dismay he has become the most popular person in the prison because he brings in the food (with my help) and he brought a lot of new people to the prison giving them shelter.

When we get to the kitchen carol is there to greet us, another stranger excitedly greets Daryl and carol teases "just remember I liked you first" And Daryl sighs "stop" But he's smiling slightly. "You know rick brought a lot of them in too" Daryl adds referring to the newcomers that have been brought in. "not recently, give the strangers sanctuary, keeping the people fed with Harlow's help of course, you're going to half to learn to live with the love." Carol replies. "The kid does half the hunt for me at this point" Daryl says glancing at me with a proud look.

Carol smirks at me and says to Daryl "yeah well Harlow's got a fair thew admirers of her own, in fact here comes one now" Daryl and carol both smirk at me as Patrick a boy my age come up to us and smiles at me. "Hey Harlow I just wanted to say thanks for bringing in that deer yesterday, it was a real treat for all of us." He sticks out his hand and I take it awkwardly "sure thing Patrick."

He looks hesitant and asks "maybe we could hang out some time today when I'm off kitchen duty." I hear carol and Daryl sniggering behind me clearly enjoying my obvious discomfort, I don't want to hurt Patrick's feelings but I also don't want to hang out with him because he always try's complementing me and I don't know how to navigate that social situation.

I put on a fake smile and say "shoot Patrick I would love to but I me and Daryl will probably be hunting all day so..." Daryl cuts in saying "actually we don't need to hunt today." I turn to glare at Daryl before turning back to Patrick "well if I'm not hunting then I should probably go learn more medicine from Hershel I've not studied with him in a thew days but maybe we can hang out some other time" I finish awkwardly.

Patrick looks disappointed but says "yeah okay" and walks away. I angrily turn to Daryl "thank for your help there." Both he and carol have twin shit eating grins on their faces and carol says "looks like you handled it fine by yourself." I scoff and call them both children but I'm not really annoyed.

Daryl finishes his bacon and I have a slice of toast, after eating Daryl says "I got something for you kid." Curious I follow him to his tent (because like me he doesn't sleep in the cells) When we get there Daryl pulls out a hand made bow and about 20 arrows and hands them to me. "I couldn't find a bow for you on the supply runs but I found arrows and I've been making bows since I was 10 This will be much easier to hunt with than throwing knifes.

I'm stunned as I examine the bow its beautiful made from dark wood and looks professionally made like one you used to be able to buy. Daryl looks slightly nervous at my silence but I don't know what to say to properly express my gratitude so instead I wrap my arms around him and he returns the hug. I get the impression that Daryl's not much of a hugger but he seems to make an exception for me.

"Thank you so much" I say and he mumbles "it's nothing much" clearly embarrassed. Daryl then has to go because carol wants to show him something and I go find carl to show him my bow.

I'm practicing with my bow and arrow whilst carl draws next to me because his dad gave him the day off from farm work. Carl started drawing on scrap bits of paper recently after things settled down at the prison and he had more time on his hands but he never lets me see his drawings afterwards.

I'm finally getting the hang of my bow when we both hear the prison gates open and Michonne rides in on her horse finally back from her run. Michonne goes on the most supply runs out of everyone and I miss her terribly when she's gone, She Daryl and carl are the people closest to me in the world at this point in time and I prefer it when I know where they all are and that there safe. Carl has also grown closer to Michonne but not in the same way I have.

Me and carl both run to greet her and I tackle her into a hug before stepping back to look at her checking for injury's "you're not hurt are you" I say in a rush and Michonne laughs "I'm fine Harlow it's good to see you too." I smile at her and ask "are you actually going to stick around at the prison for a while before running off again?"

Michonne nods and teasingly says "maybe, only because I enjoy your company so much." I roll my eyes and carl greets Michonne next then rick comes to say hi to her as well. Michonne pulls out a stack of books and comics out the horse's saddle bag, she hands the comics to carl wo exclaims "awesome" and Michonne says "I get to read them when you're done."

Michonne then turns to me and hands me a stack of medical text books saying "I managed to find these for you to study since you finished the last ones, I got you." I flap my hands in excitement before taking them "oh thank you I love them." I say giving her another hug.

Michonne has to go talk to rick so I decide to start reading my textbooks.

It's late afternoon and me and carl are laying on the grass as he frustratedly tells me about a fight he had with some other kids "they were naming walkers it's like they don't even realise there dead."

I turn and look at him "there just being kids are they really hurting anyone?" I ask and carl sighs "if they name them, they will get attached and then they will get upset when someone kills them."

And decide he's probably right so I suggest "maybe tell rick he can get them to understand walkers are dead and don't have names." Carls about to reply when Patrick comes up to us, I assume he's here to talk to carl since there actually sort of friends but to my dismay he turns to me and asks "hey can I talk to you?"

Not really having much of a choice I nod my head and follow him into the prison where no one can see us. I'm confused why we couldn't half talked outside so I ask "what's wrong?" Patrick just fidgets with his shirt looking nervous and then he's coming closer and before realise what's happening, he's kissing me.

Alarmed at the sudden contact I pull back shouting "what the hell!" Patrick looks panicked and quickly says "sorry I didn't mean to do that I just panicked, I meant to tell you that I like you."

I calm down feeling slightly sick, I really don't want to be in this situation. I take a breath and tell him "Patrick you're really nice and everything but I'm sorry I don't really feel the same way. You're a nice friend but I don't think I want a relationship right now."

Patrick looks crest fallen sighing "yeah I understand I'm sorry" before hurriedly leaving. I feel bad but I'm also annoyed he kissed me without warning like who does that.

I walk back to where carl is and abruptly say "he kissed me" carl looks confused and asks "who did?" I roll my eyes "Patrick obviously" carl furrows his eyebrows "why?"

Slightly Offended I ask "what do you mean why do you think I'm unattractive or something?" carl goes red and stutters "no that's not what I meant your fine I just meant why did he think you would want to kiss him."

I sigh and flop onto the grass next to him "I don't know why, he didn't even ask first." Carl looks angry at that and asks "should I go yell at him or something?" I snort at his dramatics "no carl I don't need you to defend my honour if I do I will be sure to let you know." Carl laughs "I don't think you need help defending yourself." Then He pauses before asking "are you okay?" I nod "just startled that's all."

Michonne is leaving again even though she only just got back yesterday. A part of me is hurt by this but I can also understand her not wanting to be cooped up in a prison all the time. I think I'm only okay with being cooped up for so long because I'm used to it. I hug Michonne good bye and make her promise to try come back before she leaves.

I'm watching her horse ride of when there's a loud bang from the prison. "Help! Help!" someone that sound like a child screams. I see rick running for the prison so I run after him. "there's walkers in the prison" a man I don't know shouts. That doesn't make any sense how would they have got in?

Once we enter the prison I see Daryl fighting walkers off whilst everyone else is evacuating. I notice a little girl who couldn't be older than 5 is alone in an empty cell and about 6 walkers are moving towards her. I fight my way through the dead stabbing the walkers in the head to get to the little girl. Once I get there, I scoop her into my arms and carry her out the prison saying "you're okay, shhh" to her. Once we get out of the prison there's a crying lady who runs up to me, she lifts the little girl out my arms and holds her tight. "Thank you we got separated in the chaos" the woman says and I hurriedly smile saying "no problem" before running back into the prison.

I run up to Daryl and fight the remaining walkers away by his side. After all the walkers are dead he turns to me "what ya doing kid, you should have evacuated with everyone else." "You needed help and I'm fine" I shrug and before he can argue we hear Glenn yell and we look to see a walker has grabbed him. Daryl shoots it in the head and goes to check who the walker was, he looks down and grimaces "that's Patrick"

***
Patrick, it turns out died from a sickness according to an ex-doctor here and then turned into a walker and started biting others. It was decided those who show signs if sickness are to be quarantined and kept away from others. since Patrick kissed me I insist I should quarantine with the sick because I was exposed to the sickness even though I haven't shown signs of illness.

It's been a couple days since then and I've been spending my time helping Hershel with the sick. Sasha and Glenn help when they have enough strength to as both of them are sick as well. there's been a thew deaths so far and the sickness spread quickly through the prison meaning that me and Hershel are sleep deprived and overworked trying to care for everyone.

I wonder what carl is doing, I haven't seen him since the day we found Patrick dead although I'm glad I havnt because that means he's not sick but still I miss him. I also miss listening to the birds as I can't hear them in the prison.

Suddenly I hear screaming and run into the main area of the cells and see a handful of walkers that must be turned patients one of them is eating another patient so I rush over and stab it in the head.

"come on henry keep going" says a voice from the upstairs balcony, I look up to see lizzie who is around my age coaxing henry who is now a walker down the hallway. Before I can think what to do lizzie trips and falls backwards the walker landing on top of her. I grab my knife and throw it at the walker but it misses its head by a few inches hitting the wall instead.

Luckily Hershel runs out a cell and towards lizzie and chucks the walker off of her.

I run up to lizzie and Hershel and gasp "what do we do?" Hershel turns to me relived "Harlow I need you to listen to me there's an emergency exit a couple cell blocks down, I need you to take lizzie and the other kid Andy out of here as quickly as possible." "What about you" I ask and Hershel reply's "I've got to go help Glenn now go, Andy is just in the last cell over there grab him on your way out."

I nod and grab lizzies hand telling her "Stay behind me and do as I say okay." I don't wait for a response instead running down the hallway to Andy's cell. Andy's only six and I need to keep him as calm as possible so when I get to his cell I gently take his hand "Andy were going to go see your mummy now hold my hand and don't let go everything's okay" He nods and we run off through the hallways.

There's a pack of walkers that are following us but I can't kill them all whilst keeping an eye on lizzie and Andy so our only option is to out run them until we get to the door.

We turn a corner and I can see the exit, for a minute I think we're going to be fine but then I notice Andy isn't with us anymore meaning he must have let go of my hand at some point. I turn to lizzie hurriedly telling her "Run to the door and get outside I'll go back for Andy."

Lizzie does as I say and I turn back down the hallway however when I turn the corner I see the walkers swarmed around something. "No no no this isn't happening" I panic and kill every walker in sight. Once there all dead I see Andy on the floor his stomach is ripped open and his guts are spilling out.

I fall to my knees in shock tears spilling down my face Andy was just a kid and I let him die a horrid death. I turn around and puke everywhere before falling to the ground again sobbing. I only move when I hear soft groans echoing in the hallway, I turn to see Andy as a walker struggling to its feet. Shaking I pick up my knife and walk over to Andy and as gently as possible stap him through the head before taking his body in my arms and walk outside.

I've been sitting in the courtyard next to Andy's body just outside the exit door all night. Its morning now and I still can't bring myself to move.

I can't face Hershel and tell him that I failed, that I let Andy who I was supposed to protect die. The tears have long since stopped and now my bodies just numb, I don't hear any birds even though I no they must be there. It seems all I'm really good at is killing.

I hear footsteps coming closer and closer and then I hear carls familiar voice "Harlow there you are, what oh..." he stops abruptly clearly noticing Andy, I don't look at him. After a minute I feel his hand on my shoulder "come on Har let's get you cleaned up Andy will be okay on his own for a bit." He says in the softest voice I've ever heard him use.

I do as he says because his voice is the only thing that's real in this moment. Eventually I choke out "I let him die" because I need carl to understand what I've done. Carl stops and pulls me into a hug but this confuses me more "don't you understand I failed, I'm the reason he is dead" I say desperately needing him to understand. Carl just holds me tighter and says "it's okay, I understand." I'm calmed by the fact that he isn't yelling at me like he probably should be, I start crying again but allow myself to fully sink into his embrace the sight of Andy's body burned into the back of my eyelids.