"If someone doesn't explain to me what the hell happened here in the next ten seconds, I'm expelling all of you."

All twenty students just blinked back at him stupidly, most of them still just as caught up in the throes of lost sleep as he was. Aizawa wasn't quite sure what time it was at the moment, but he did remember seeing an AM sign on his digital clock as he rushed out the door after All Might's panicked shouting. It would be a lie to say that his heart hadn't leaped into his throat at the fleeting thought of someone breaking into campus and coming after his students, but to be fair, it was his job to worry.

Either way, it didn't matter at the moment, because even though there was no villain to be seen, Heights Alliance was currently on fire and the underground hero was way too tired for this shit.

"In our defense, sensei," Kaminari bravely said with a yawn. "We don't know, either."

Aizawa would have blown a gasket if so many of his students hadn't agreed with the electric blonde. Still, it didn't help the rising stress that had his eyes flickering red against his will.

A solid chunk of the wall around the divide between the common room and the kitchen was destroyed, flames roaring from the gaping hole and smoke billowing into the bright moonlit sky. Between the fire currently being controlled by emergency workers and on-campus heroes still in their pajamas and the full moon lighting up the sky, the scene was basking in light, illuminated for all to see despite the abhorrent time of night. Or day, rather.

Because of this, Aizawa did not miss two of his students slinking off in All Might's direction, and just like that, he already knew. The long-suffering sigh, almost a groan, came without prompting, malice rolling off of him in waves.

"Midoriya, Bakugou," he drawled, blood pressure already rising, and the two had the decency to flinch at his tone. "Explain."

"It wasn't me!" Midoriya immediately blurted, Bakugou glaring at him as if he'd just kicked his dog down the stairs. Other students began 'oohing' at them as if they were toddlers who'd been busted for stealing cookies rather than destruction of property.

"It was absolutely you!" Bakugou growled.

"You started it!"

"You ended it!"

"The fire's not my fault!"

"Then explain the fucking hole!"

"Self-defense!"

Aizawa watched the two bicker with a disdain that he was way too old for. He didn't even bother commenting on the way the rest of his class wandered away from the blast zone, so to speak, while All Might watched the entire scene with so much fondness that Aizawa wished he could fire him on the spot.

"Explain." he snapped, more force in his voice than intended, and Midoriya immediately snapped to attention. Bakugou looked like he'd clearly rather be anywhere else but here, and honestly, Aizawa would, too. Namely, sleeping.

Behind them, something in the kitchen must have exploded, because there's a small puff of fire that blasts through the air and nearly singes Midnight's hair. A brick unceremoniously plops to the ground as the firemen pull out a third hose.

"IT WAS HIS FAULT!" they both shouted simultaneously, pointing at each other accusingly, and it was one of those rare moments where Aizawa remembered just how young they were. All Might must have been in the same boat, because the fondness had dimmed with melancholy.

Bakugou threw his arms in the air. "I was just making myself tea, minding my own fucking business, when this jackass-!"

By some miracle, Midoriya's voice carried just as much. "I walk into the kitchen and am immediately interrogated like I don't live here, too-!"

"And then the fucker's invading my personal bubble like the parasite he is-!"

"And you guys always tell me to 'stand up for myself more', so I decide I don't wanna be called a-!"

"Then the bastard steals my tea-!"

"There was more than enough water for two people!"

"I never gave you permission!"

"Then why did you boil so much!?"

"Because fuck you, that's why!"

Midoriya ignored him and turns back to Aizawa. "And then he starts chasing me-!"

"So I'm not gonna let this shitstain walk all over me out of the blue-!"

"He was chasing me around the table and broke it-!"

"The hole was his fault!"

"I thought I was gonna die!"

"Good!"

"He blew up the toaster oven!"

"He destroyed the fridge and the sink!"

"He broke the coffee machine!"

"I did not!"

At this point, their screaming was devolving into one voice that equated to a fly buzzing in Aizawa's ear. Exhausted for reasons he couldn't possibly fathom, he watched expressionlessly as the two went from shrieking at him to shrieking at each other, their faces illuminated by the scorching blaze being brought under control behind them.

It amazed Aizawa, even in his blinding anger and appalled exasperation, that between the fire and the moonlight, he could see the dark circles under their eyes so clearly, stark against pale skin and sweat-soaked hair. Despite the viciousness that spoke of several sleepless nights leading to an inevitable breaking point, it was almost like a desperate reach for normalcy, as if they weren't a pair of traumatized sixteen-year-olds with far too much power bearing the weight of responsibility that came with it.

It wasn't a pass for the mess they'd caused, far from it, in fact, but it was somewhat eye-opening.

Before Aizawa could cut in, his nerves reaching their own breaking point because it's way too early for this shit, All Might decides to step in. "Boys."

One word is like a spell, both falling silent in an instant at his tone. Yagi Toshinori may not be the best teacher, at least not yet, but his presence still holds power, like a king stepping from his throne to address his people in person, and Aizawa wishes all the more that the veteran hero would get his act together just a little bit quicker, because his words hold power.

In the case of the problem children, it's done both good and bad, and he's almost curious to see what it does now.

Almost casually, All Might laid a boney hand on each of their shoulders, a soft smile on his face that was nothing like his trademark grin. His eyes were drawn to Bakugou, in particular, a trained look that even Aizawa couldn't quite decipher, but it was gone in the next moment.

"You boys must be tired." he chuckled. Somewhere behind them, a couple more bricks dropped to the ground as the fire dimmed. "I know I would be. I had the worst sleeping habits at your age!"

Aizawa saw through him immediately, a casual comparison to himself, their hero, in an attempt to alleviate Midoriya's guilt and protect Bakugou's pride. It was clever, especially when veiled by their own exhaustion. They were both smart, too smart, so in the midst of chaos, it was as if All Might was taking advantage of their lack of sleep to reassure them both.

All Might may be a sub-par teacher, but he was a veteran hero who knew how to deal with people.

With a hardy laugh and a spray of blood, the former number one gingerly rested his arms around their shoulders. "Now then, I'm sure you'd both like to rest up while you can for school tomorrow! I don't know how safe the dorm building is at the moment, so I guess we'll need to figure that part out."

Bakugou was quick to shake All Might's arm off, while Midoriya all but melted against his side. Aizawa could feel eyes on him, guarded as he still held a dangerous aura, but at least they'd grown quiet, and the deescalation of their pointless arguing was a godsend. Midoriya had the nerve to pipe up. "Are we in trouble?"

"What do you think, Problem Child?" Aizawa huffed heatedly. His sharp glare had the boy shrinking back, having the decency to look ashamed. Bakugou, meanwhile, having finally calmed down some, was avoiding all eye contact altogether.

"A week of house arrest, both of you." he declared, and Bakugou had the audacity to look like he was gonna protest. "One word and I'm doubling it."

He backed down at that, while Midoriya was mumbling to himself with a look of exaggerated fear in his eyes. In the back of Aizawa's mind, he found himself wishing that Midnight's hair had gotten burnt off after all, because he never signed up for this and it was all her fault that he's now stuck here, saddled up with such high-maintenance problem children that he's gonna lose all of his own hair by the age of forty.

If anyone would have asked him why he didn't just expel them already in that moment, he might have clocked them.

Somewhere behind them, the fire had finally been put out, leaving only the moon to light their path.