At some point in the beginning of their first year, Todoroki had been told that he was the poster child of calm, cool, and collected.
It had been Hagakure, if his memory wasn't failing him, during an early training exercise sometime between the USJ fiasco and the sports festival. At the time, he'd had no real connections or relationships with any of his classmates, so the circumstances were lost on him, but for some reason, now of all times, the comment itself came back to him. Calm, cool, and collected. Relaxed. Chill.
But Todoroki Shouto did not feel chill this week.
He did not feel chill this week when he'd gotten word of his mother's sickness last Sunday. He didn't remember being told exactly what was ailing her, but it had Todoroki's skin crawling and heart pounding hard enough to reverberate against his skull. According to Fuyumi, the doctors caught whatever it was early on and were doing everything in their power to keep it from getting worse, so she would most likely be just fine.
But most likely didn't mean absolutely and the dual quirk user just couldn't shake his uncertainty.
Come Monday morning and he was a dead man walking. Stumbling into the common room, his classmates all showed varying levels of concern, from worried glances to blatant hovering. Midoriya and Iida ended up following him around all day and Uraraka and Asui made him a nice card and some homemade candies to make him feel better. In all honesty, it was very sweet of them, even if he personally didn't find himself feeling much better at the time.
Tuesday was almost worse, with absolutely no word from the hospital or Fuyumi. His father was also being strangely distant and quiet, not even bothering to ask him about any training updates or send any random 'how are you' messages that still throw the teen off every single time despite their steadily rising frequency.
And he was glad, because after flunking a math test that he'd completely forgotten about and screwing up a lab experiment so badly that the class had to evacuate the room, he didn't think he could handle interacting with him at the moment.
In all honesty, though, bless the friends he's made over the course of his high school career. Bless Midoriya for helping him open up a little. Even if he still felt miserable, he couldn't help but appreciate them, appreciate Kouda for being a saint and comforting Todoroki after their lab experiment literally blew up in their faces, appreciate Uraraka for using the last of her allowance from last week to buy him his favorite soda, appreciate Yaoyorozu for just sitting with him when he didn't feel like talking.
He could even appreciate his friends after training that day, after an abysmal performance that would surely be affecting his grade. He still felt the warmth of Satou's hug, the mirth of the especially morbid joke that Tokoyami allowed Dark Shadow to share with him, the smooth, comforting ballad that Jirou let him listen to. Even the ice pack that Bakugou unceremoniously chucked at his face in the locker room was a blessing.
And it was stuff like that that truly made Heights Alliance feel like his first real home. His first functioning family, even if the functioning part was by technicality. Slowly, day by day, things got better.
And then he woke up Friday morning to a panicked series of texts from Fuyumi, something about Natsuo, for lack of a better term, losing his shit.
He ended up going home that weekend, only to find absolute chaos, Natsuo freaking out and Fuyumi freaking out about Natsuo freaking out and Todoroki was quickly finding himself at his wit's end. It was always like this with their family matters, wasn't it? Always caught in the middle.
News of their mother's slowly improving health had been a weight off of his shoulders, but he soon found a new one with the news that their father had decided to personally visit her himself. Apparently, she had been asleep during his brief stay, there to deliver a bouquet of her favorite flowers with an air that betrayed nothing of his own feelings. He only stayed in her room for a few minutes, doctors present during his visit, and then left without a word.
Fuyumi was happy. Natsuo was not.
Fuyumi could only hope that things really were getting better, that he really meant what he said, that he'd atone, that they could be a family and that he was sorry.
Natsuo was terrified that he'd gone anywhere near their mother after everything that's happened, after everything he'd done to her, to them, and felt as if he never even had the right.
And Todoroki was always caught in the middle.
His two older siblings fought over it for the entire weekend, and Todoroki often found himself being the voice of reason, reigning them back in and keeping them from tearing their house apart. There was barely a moment of peace during his stay, and at night, he would find himself unable to sleep, arguments and feelings and pros and cons whirling around in his head until he thought he'd explode.
He didn't know how he was supposed to feel. He didn't know how he was supposed to feel.
Did he forgive his father? Well, no. Not really.
Did he care about his father's safety? Well, yes. A lot, actually.
Did he love his father? Well... It was hard to say.
Did he trust his father...?
As of late, that question made his head hurt the most.
So, if he had to explain himself, that would be why he returned to the dorms that next Sunday night in a visibly foul mood. Why he wouldn't talk to anyone. Why he wouldn't look at anyone.
When Hagakure cheerfully greeted him, he completely blew her off. He ignored the way the invisible girl's shoulders drooped.
When Iida offered him something to eat, he practically growled at him to not talk to him. He ignored the way the class rep jumped at his tone.
When Bakugou shot a characteristically scathing remark at him, he responded a hundred times more venomously. He ignored the way the blonde's eyebrows creased in open confusion.
When Yaoyorozu asked if he was alright, he glared daggers at her. He ignored the way the creation quirk user stumbled back.
When Midoriya questioned how his family situation was, he slammed his fist against the coffee table so hard that it cracked. He ignored the silence that followed.
But he couldn't ignore the way the freckled teen violently recoiled in shock.
He did not sleep well that night, thoughts of his mother and his father and his bickering siblings continuously running through his mind on repeat again and again and again, nor did he do well in school that day, falling asleep at his desk within the first period. At this point, even Aizawa was pulling him aside to check on him, the underground hero looking him up and down for any signs of...something. Honestly, Todoroki didn't know what his homeroom teacher was looking for, but he doubted that he found it.
So no, Hagakure. Todoroki was not the 'poster child of calm, cool, and collected.' He was not relaxed. Not even a little bit. Not by a long shot.
Todoroki Shouto did not feel chill this week.
"YOU USELESS FUCKING MORONS!"
And here, standing in the present moment, Todoroki Shouto did not feel chill right now.
Todoroki winced as his knees hit the ground, an elbow scraping against the uneven terrain as his right hand slammed into the floor, ice spontaneously springing up from his fingertips. A part of him feared accidentally freezing the unconscious body under him, but he ultimately decided that taking the simultaneous effects of the villain's attack and the incoming explosion would be just a bit more harmful. With a swing of his outstretched hand, ice curled up and over him, the edges of his makeshift shield shattering with a ferocious yell and a deafening boom! from above.
In some sick, twisted joke, a running gag that the universe seemed to cling onto as if it was its greatest pleasure, another villain attack had taken place, because it never ended. It never ended, and now that his class had provisional licenses, they could legally throw themselves into the fray.
And apparently, that meant that they were bringing their bad luck and the big red targets painted on their backs along with them. That, and the universe seemed to dislike Todoroki himself this week, so why not casually throw another citywide disaster at him, just to kick him while he's down?
It had been a jewelry store heist that spanned multiple stores across Musutafu and quickly got out of hand when the heroes arrived, and since the chaos was so close to U.A., every heroics student with a license was allowed to get involved. Todoroki's class had been especially eager, though Todoroki himself could feel the exhaustion and irritation creeping up his spine even as he was quickly changing into his costume. If he just so happened to run into his father out there during this whole mess, he might actually lose it.
Thankfully for everyone involved, the first person he jumped headfirst into battle with was Midoriya.
"Um, Todoroki... About the other day-"
"We can talk about it later. I promise."
Midoriya had stared at him then, eyes skeptical and searching before he ultimately gave Todoroki at least one small mercy and nodded without saying another word.
Maybe if he had talked a little bit, or even apologized for scaring him the other night, he wouldn't have been so distracted. Maybe they wouldn't have been separated. Maybe-
"Oi, Half n' half!" Combat boots slammed into the remains of his ice shield, revealing a crouched form and glaring red eyes above him, mask missing and shirt shredded. "You fuckers still alive?"
As far as I'm aware, he thought wryly, wincing at the pain festering in his chest at the slightest movement. The villain that Midoriya had encountered was a large man, well-built and towering in stature but impressively agile. He had a strength-stockpiling quirk similar to Fatgum's, and apparently, from his incessant bragging and rambling, he was a former member of the yakuza. It wasn't a particularly important fact, but the guy seemed to consider it his gimmick with how much he talked about it.
When Todoroki had found them, after being separated from his friend by hoards of villains and fighting to the point of exhaustion, he'd just so happened to literally stumble in on the villain punting the freckled teen through a building. Despite his sluggish movements, Todoroki was quick to jump to his aid.
Even with how injured he was, Midoriya had grown more and more upset the more the villain talked about the whole yakuza thing, until the subject of the little girl that Aizawa was taking care of came up and the greenette had gotten a dark, dangerous look in his eyes. The resulting fight had been with so much force that Todoroki had been blown back several times and Midoriya somehow managed to break his leg again.
It wasn't enough though, Todoroki had realized in horror, as the villain towered over Midoriya's fallen form and pressed his bloody boot against his motionless head. Blood painted the battlefield, both sides swaying and dizzy from blood loss, but that didn't stop Todoroki from trying his hardest to defend his friend. The hit he'd taken to his chest at some point in their fight had literally left him breathless, knocking the wind out of him and turning the world white.
It was frustrating, seeing the villain just barely standing, a couple hits away from defeat, but not being able to move fast enough to stop him, or in Midoriya's case, not being able to even stand up.
So, things considered, if Todoroki had been in a better mood, he would have been a bit more willing to thank Bakugou for his latest last-minute save.
He was shaken out of his thoughts by a groan from under him, Midoriya barely hanging onto consciousness and head lolling to the side. Eyes half-lidded, he blearily looked up into heterochromatic eyes, and Todoroki cringed at the clear size difference between his pupils. "Todo...ro... You're okay?"
"Yes." Todoroki responded coolly. "I'm alright. Sore, but nothing I can't handle. You're far worse off than I am."
"Oi, you didn't answer me, asshole!" the blonde bellowed from above, Todoroki flinching at the volume. Now that he thought about it, his head also hurt.
"Is that Kacchan?"
"Yes. He's here, too, so just relax. Er, don't fall asleep, but relax, okay?"
Midoriya blinked hazily, but a soft smile eventually crept over his face. "Okay."
"Concussion?" Bakugou asked at a more respectable volume, having hopped down from his perch on the ice to inspect the damage himself.
"And possibly blood loss." he responded, eying the growing pool of blood with concern.
Bakugou hissed. "Did he break something again? Because only his leg would manage to twist that way."
"It would appear that way."
With a groan, the blonde threw his arms up in indignation. "Of course. Fucking idiot."
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Todoroki could feel a few choice words itching to leave his throat, his mind still too frazzled from recent events to be healthy for hero work, but he quickly swallowed them. "Where's the villain?"
"Out cold and handcuffed." He jabbed a thumb off to the side, where the villain's unconscious body was left. "Borrowed a pair from Kaminari, thank fuck. So, what do we do with him?"
That was a good question, considering that Todoroki was sure he'd be passing out sooner or later and it looked as if Bakugou's arms were shot to hell, most likely from the dozen and one battles with other rogue villains on his way here that already appeared to have cost him his gauntlets, both explosives strikingly absent. Between that and Midoriya being fairly out of commission, there wasn't much they could do.
"...Leave him." Todoroki eventually decided. "None of us can drag him along right now and I'm sure that more villains are going to come looking if we wait around for too long."
"Okay, first of all, fuck you. I ain't that weak! Second, let 'em! I'll kick all their asses!"
"Now is really not the time for this." Todoroki grumbled, glancing at the blonde's twitching, quivering arms, veins bulging and far more defined than they should be. As much as the explosion quirk user tried to hide it, he didn't miss the minute winces at the smallest movements. Considering how much trouble they'd had defeating that villain, Todoroki was not above claiming that the only reason Bakugou was able to beat him was because he'd already been heavily worn down.
No, scratch that. That's exactly what happened. It had all been nothing but stupidly good timing and sheer luck.
Todoroki glanced back at Bakugou, staring at the downed villain warily. As much as Todoroki didn't want to leave him unguarded either, he didn't see what other choices they had. With a sharp tch, Bakugou angrily fiddled with his earpiece, the light sound of static following shortly after.
Todoroki blinked numbly. He had lost his own a long time ago, back when the fighting had first started to get rough, while Midoriya's broke at the height of their fight with that villain, so they'd been stuck on their own. Somehow, in his muddled thinking, he'd totally forgotten the fact that other people had them too.
Man, he was a mess today.
I blame you, father.
Cursing under his breath, Bakugou continued to poke and prod at the device, grinding his teeth in frustration as he stomped around in search of any kind of signal. Todoroki didn't know what might have happened between when Bakugou had first started fighting and when he found them, but there was a real possibility that his device was also broken.
Fantastic. How lucky could they possibly be?
Deciding that silently watching Bakugou rage at malfunctioning technology probably wasn't the best use of his time, Todoroki turned back to their fallen classmate, staring up towards the open sky in a daze. The front of his costume was drenched in blood and his right leg was bent at a clearly unnatural angle. His normally full green hair was matted with a faded red color, a steady stream of crimson flowing down the side of his face to the stained, dusty ground. He blinked slowly, staring right through Todoroki and off to some unseen place, and Todoroki had to remind himself that he needed to breathe and not focus on how quickly Midoriya's blood stained the pavement.
There was no blood in his mouth. It was running from his nose from a solid kick that threw him through two buildings and a billboard, but there was none in his mouth, and that, at least, was a good sign.
He bit his lip, a slowly building sense of guilt washing over him. If they hadn't been separated, if Todoroki hadn't let Midoriya ever fight that villain alone at all, then he wouldn't be in this state, barely conscious, his very life freely flowing out of him and onto the damaged battlefield.
With slow, practiced movements, Todoroki pulled Midoriya's disconcertingly limp body into his arms, gently maneuvering him around until he could pull him onto his back. He found himself flinching and going rigid at every hiss and groan, but he eventually found himself with a heavy deadweight pressing against his body. His knees buckled when he moved to stand, but with grit teeth and a growing seed of spite in the back of his mind, he forced himself to his feet.
He heard muted voices. Slowly situating himself and maintaining his balance, Todoroki could hear Bakugou yelling at someone, still messing with his earpiece with a look in his eyes that was reminiscent of one of those people in a gamer rage compilation. "Ponytail, I can barely understand a word you're saying! Where are we rendezvousing? Speak up!"
They were met with more static. Bakugou looked about two seconds from ripping the device out and hurling it into the ground. "Fuck these useless things! Who designed these?! They should be fired! Or expelled! I don't care! Why should I care!?"
"Now isn't the time for a meltdown." Todoroki warned gravely. "This is life or death."
The look Bakugou gave him could have phased him out of existence, but he said nothing, only releasing a long, steady breath through his nose as he stormed past him, kicking pebbles and small debris out of his path as he went. Todoroki, with a long sigh of his own, slowly followed after him.
His chest hurt, his pounding heart doing nothing to help his sore, mangled ribs. Midoriya hummed in his ear, green curls spilling over Todoroki's shoulder, and suddenly, the blood already soaking his back felt freezing.
"Midoriya..." Todoroki started slowly. "Listen... I need you to stay awake, okay? You've lost a lot of blood."
Midoriya hummed again, his head practically nuzzled against his neck, and nodded softly. They were quiet for a moment, Todoroki finding it difficult to focus on anything outside of the burning pain running through his body. Midoriya coughed. "Uraraka's...gonna be upset...when she finds out about the shop."
Todoroki blinked numbly at the random comment, looking up at the remains of a faded pink building a couple doors down the road (Uraraka's favorite place to buy mochi, if he remembered correctly) with detached indifference, but he latched onto the distraction regardless. "...Yes, she will. Perhaps we could treat her sometime next weekend to make her feel better?"
"Oh...yeah." The greenette almost sounded delirious. "A fancy restaurant...that she's never been to before. One of those...expensive ones that you...have to get reservations for."
"Hmm, I might know a couple places. Yaoyorozu might also be willing to help us out."
"Yeah-! Ow..."
With how distracted he was, he almost missed the weird, discreet look that Bakugou was giving them. Todoroki was extremely grateful that he stayed quiet, because at this point, between the frustration of his dysfunctional family and the worry eating away at him, he just might jump at the chance to strangle someone.
"The hell is up with you anyway?"
Ah, right. Of course he couldn't get off that easily. "I don't know what you mean." he said curtly.
Bakugou turned more towards him, brows furrowed. "You've been really snippy with everyone lately. What's gotten into you?"
Todoroki suppressed the urge to scoff. "You're one to talk."
Bakugou's eyes narrowed dangerously. "...What I meant," an emphasis on the 't' sound. "Was that you're acting differently than you normally do-"
"Not that you care, correct?" Todoroki interrupted. "I know that's what you were going to say, so I'm not sure why you're even bothering."
In all honesty, Todoroki knew he was being difficult and unfair, but at the moment, it felt good to let out his frustration just a little bit, even if he knew he'd feel bad about it later. He really did consider Bakugou his friend, after all.
Bakugou gave him the most deadpan look he'd ever seen, pausing before clicking his tongue. "You could just say 'I'd rather not talk about it' or some shit." he said flatly.
"I really don't want to hear that from you." Todoroki sighed loudly. "Look, I'm stressed out, Midoriya needs medical attention, and I want to meet up with the other heroes and leave as soon as possible, so I apologize if I've come across to you as rude."
Bakugou snorted loudly. At least he was self-aware enough to understand the irony of that statement.
They fell back into silence after that, Bakugou hissing in what was likely pain as he moved rubble out of their path and climbed around larger chunks of debris on the lookout for any unwanted company. Midoriya had also fallen into silence, breathing heavily against Todoroki's collarbone with the occasional whimper that made his cold heart crack just a bit more.
"Stay awake." he whispered, hating the way his skin broke out in goosebumps as the body slumped against him grew more still.
"...Right..." Midoriya muttered into his shoulder, not even bothering to lift his head.
It genuinely scared Todoroki, seeing one of his best friends like this. Midoriya had always been prone to getting hurt, but the dual quirk user couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, he could have stopped this from happening. Maybe if they'd stayed together, and Todoroki had kept Midoriya with him, or if he'd followed after him, if they'd fought that villain together from the beginning, like a team should, then things wouldn't be like this. They both would still be hurt, surely, but not to this extent, with dark, sticky liquid not his own staining his costume and soaking into his skin.
If only he could keep himself under control, stay aloof, like he always was. He'd never been one to have that many strong emotions in the first place. He should be able to control himself. He should be able to stay stoic. He should-
Fire. Anger. Pain. Not good enough, Shouto.
Keep going. More.
It's too hot-
Todoroki didn't realize he was biting his lip until blood was dripping down his chin.
He'd stopped walking at some point, glaring holes into his feet with a pinched expression that would make Aoyama fret tirelessly over wrinkles. He flinched at the ghost of a burning feeling running through his scar, squeezing his left eye shut and grimacing at the uncomfortable roiling in his skin.
This week... This week had really been a lot.
"It has to do with your old man, doesn't it?"
Todoroki jumped, eyes shooting up to where Bakugou was standing, glaring at him over his shoulder in a way that almost made Todoroki feel small. He took a deep breath, ignoring the horrible stinging in his chest that followed, and met his gaze head-on, a foreign, ugly rage burning inside of him.
Fire. Anger. Pain.
Keep going. More.
He stomped down that train of thought before it could even start. He refused to point fingers, to throw accusations, to make comparisons. "That doesn't concern you." he growled, more bite behind it than he'd intended.
The look Bakugou gave him in response was a strange one, and Todoroki found himself internally flailing for a translation. His eyes were narrow, lips with a heavy frown. Eyebrows were far above his hairline, one just slightly above the other.
Those damn eyes. He didn't like that look.
Todoroki bowed his head and briskly walked forward. "Don't look at me like that."
"Hey!" Bakugou shouted as his classmate marched past him. "Walk behind me, asshole!"
Todoroki ignored him, burying any harsh words and desperation for some peace and quiet at the tip of his tongue as he heard stomping behind him. Even pumped on adrenaline, sore, and at his wit's end, he didn't want to say anything that he might regret.
Bakugou was his friend, after all.
Right?
Yeah.
"Oi, move!"
Todoroki blinked. It actually amazed him, how out of it he was, looking back down at his feet and seeing that he'd stopped walking again. Shaking his head, he slowly started stepping forward again, pushing the agony in his chest and the exhaustion beginning to crash into him into the back of his mind as his feet practically scraped against the pavement. "Sorry." he responded earnestly. "I just-"
"Todoroki, move!"
Something dark and cold rushed through his body at that, spine going rigid and blood roaring in his ears. Every fight or flight instinct fired off all at once at the sound of his name, and his eyes glanced down at the mass of green leaning against him, Midoriya's head faintly jerking in response to the sudden order.
"Move!" the man towering over him yelled, and the small toddler found himself struggling to get to his feet, terror and anger and hatred setting his blood ablaze. He didn't like how his bones ached, how his stomach churned, how he was too hot but also too cold and he was just so, so tired.
He wanted his mom. He wanted his sister. He wanted a loving family. He wanted to stop.
And somehow, someway, now, of all times, Todoroki froze.
"I said move, you idiot!"
He hadn't been ready for the sudden collision, the feeling of something ramming into him from behind at full speed and sending both him and his injured passenger sprawling onto the uneven, rocky terrain. The pained hiss from Midoriya had Todoroki seeing red, an uncharacteristically snippy and biting comment on the tip of his tongue-
It sounded like a mix between thunder and a gunshot. The crunching of pebbles. Distant shouting. A pained gasp.
Thud.
Everything else was drowned out by his heart pounding wildly in his ears. Already scrambling to his feet, Todoroki saw the group of villains first, off to their left and fast approaching. One was wincing, clenching and releasing his sparking hand rhythmically as another grabbed his shoulder. "What the hell was that!?"
"What do you mean?! How was I supposed to know he'd-?!"
"Fire again, dumbass! They're right there!"
"I can't! It takes thirty seconds to recharge! Give me a sec-!"
Todoroki didn't even know what was going on around him until he registered the enormous wall of ice in front of him, stretching upwards and piercing the sky. It took the sound of frustrated shouting for him to snap out of his stupor, sliding his foot against the ground and watching as more towering glaciers appeared around the injured trio. Before he knew it, he managed to create a barrier between them and the villains.
It was sloppy work though, he realized between heaving breaths, with too many holes and weak points for him to locate and fix before their attackers were through and on them.
It all happened so fast.
"Todoroki?" Midoriya's voice quivered from exertion, the hero-in-training foolishly trying to push himself up and immediately falling flat on his face. His breaths were pained, shallow and wet. "Wha... What happened?"
To be fair, that was a good question, and Todoroki had very few answers. A part of him was actually scared to look, because Bakugou had gone completely quiet and even though he hadn't seen what happened, Todoroki already knew.
They had to be secretly brothers, these two. They were half brothers and All Might's secret love children and they both inherited that instinctual need to be heroes and throw caution and self-preservation into the aether, never to be seen again. Their natural ability to stress everyone out was vastly unmatched, only challenged by the innate lack of good decision-making skills that plagued Bakugou's main friend group. It explained everything. It had to.
Almost comically slow, Todoroki turned to look.
His eyes didn't fall on him immediately, the environment around them going from the orange hue of evening and fire to the light, shining blue of ice walls and glaciers. Falling dust and the occasional creak of bending metal were the only sounds that greeted him, accompanied by Midoriya's wheezing and his fingers slowly scraping against the bloodstained ground.
Ash-blonde pulled at his awareness, and Todoroki finally allowed his eyes to fall to his friend, face down on the pavement. It genuinely freaked Todoroki out, how there wasn't even a twitch from the uncharacteristically still body, something dark and ugly twisting and churning in his stomach at the sight of a small, steady trickle of more red.
Red, painting his hair and slowly pooling underneath his head.
His head.
Blood. Temple.
Bleeding from the temple.
All thought came to a grinding halt.
They shot him in the head.
Is he dead? some very dark part of his mind that could rot alone in the corner for all he cared questioned. His hands were shaking, nerves long since shot, and he found himself stumbling forward in what could have been just the slightest bit of subdued panic.
Screw you too, universe. When he said he wanted some peace and quiet, this is not what he meant.
He fell to his knees so fast that he scratched himself, hands hovering over his friend's prone form for a moment too long before he found the courage to command his shaking fingers to roll him onto his back. The way his limp body simply flopped over made his stomach do somersaults, but he swallowed the bile rising in his throat and assessed the damage with the same professional detachment that he'd seen in both Aizawa and his father time and time again.
That was the one pro of being aloof. It made it easier to stay calm.
The first thing that jumped out at him was how slack Bakugou's face was, lips slightly parted and completely out cold. The second was thank goodness, the bastard's still breathing.
A thin smear of blood coated the right side of his face, soaking his now matted hair and spread over his cheek. Todoroki couldn't quite make out the wound, but the small splat of blood around his temple made him feel sick and anxious. He swallowed that paranoia, the one asking what would happen if he woke up wrong, as someone else or with no memory or motionless, or if he didn't wake up at all, and gingerly gathered the unconscious blonde into his arms.
He was heavy. It left him impressed, how Kirishima could almost effortlessly haul him over his shoulder and just laugh off his enraged flailing, or how Ashido could lift him bridal-style when he landed wrong in training one time and carried his whiny ass to Recovery Girl with a...strangely haunted look in her eyes. With careful movements, Todoroki made sure to keep his head as still as possible as he moved him to a nearby, sturdy wall and laid him down next to it.
Almost mechanically, heaving from the fire burning in his injured chest, he then stumbled to where Midoriya had also gone terrifyingly still, eyes glazed and staring off at nothing. In a delayed movement, he gazed up at Todoroki as he lifted him into his arms, smiling weakly with an odd sense of adoration as he wordlessly leaned into the taller boy's grip. The wet squelch of his arms pressing into the fabric of Midoriya's clothes and crimson drops falling to the ground like rain sent shivers running through his body.
With the tender care of a loving mother, Todoroki sat Midoriya down comfortably against the wall, the boy's eyes half-lidded and falling shut. Subconsciously, he made sure that the green-haired hero's line of sight was tilted away from his childhood friend.
And Todoroki...just knelt there and stared at the wall.
There was nothing particularly interesting about it. Just a few cracks and creases. It was a grayish color, boring and monotone and fading into the background of orange and blue. It was dusty and solemn, standing alone in the middle of what had been the epicenter of a war zone not even an hour ago.
It reminded him of himself, in a way.
Monotone, gray, cracked.
Alone.
Watching his siblings play in the garden while he was dragged to that damn dojo, beaten and bruised as he slogged through training session after training session. Burned, scorched, scalded.
His siblings kept moving forward, though. His mother kept moving forward. Hell, now his father was trying to move forward, pushing less, searching for kinder words, trying to learn how to be a better person.
I will atone, he'd said. Todoroki didn't know if he believed him yet. He didn't know if he trusted him yet. He didn't know if he could say he loved him yet.
He wouldn't call him his father yet.
But is he a hero?
Todoroki sucked in a deep breath, lungs burning.
Endeavor is absolutely, one hundred percent, without question, a hero.
Not a father, not yet, but a hero, yes.
It didn't make things any less confusing, though.
Todoroki allowed his frosted hand to slide over the wall's bumpy surface, dusty and worn. It held strong against his weight, even as he pushed against it.
Damaged and alone, watching everything crumble around him.
But it was still standing.
He let his eyes fall, ignoring the silence, ignoring the fear, ignoring the blood, blood, too much blood.
Because there was something that Todoroki had that this wall didn't, he realized belatedly.
Bless the friends he's made over the course of his high school career.
There were a lot of them actually. His classmates, or some of the people in class B, like Tetsutetsu. He was pretty cool. Or Camie and Yoarashi at Shiketsu. That alone brought the number of friends he had to a whopping twenty-two. Not to mention the adults in his life, like Aizawa or All Might or Present Mic, who were there to support him and watch over him and were just there.
Once upon a time, he was alone. His father was a monster, his mother was gone, his siblings weren't even allowed to talk to him.
And then suddenly, he was here.
What happened?
He didn't know, but he wasn't letting go of it anytime soon. He'd allowed himself to get attached, and if he had to suffer the consequences, then so be it.
He made his choice. He let them in.
And he wasn't letting go.
CRACK!
Todoroki's eyes widened immensely, frost slowly spreading over the wall as his fingers curled against it. He could feel heat roiling through his left side, steam beginning to build up and billow from his skin in a swirling mass. He allowed his eyes to rise to the sky, clouds speeding by just as quickly as his own thoughts and sanity.
His hair whipped around his face, and he suddenly noticed that his ice walls had ended up creating a natural wind tunnel, bursts of air picking up dust and blowing through the landscape with a ghostly howl. Another crack filled the air, ice creaking and groaning and threatening voices shrieking through his awareness with the subtlety of an airhorn.
Somehow, he'd almost forgotten that the villains were still there, and they apparently hadn't given up on their chase, either. From the corner of his eye, he could see movement, heads poking through frosted windows and glass breaking against an unknown force. Todoroki gave the massive wall of ice behind him a dangerous glare, watching in masked disinterest as more cracks spider-webbed through the frozen barrier. The villains would be on them in seconds.
Wordlessly, his eyes fell back to Midoriya, now motionless and asleep against the wall where he'd been perched. His expression was serene, soft, like how he'd smile in the morning sun when they'd walk to class together or laugh at something he said during their mindless chattering.
He glanced over at Bakugou, unmoving and face lax, like how he was when he was deep in thought or so engrossed in whatever he was doing that for a moment, holding up those walls didn't matter anymore. Todoroki had only seen it a number of times, but he couldn't help but wonder just how many millions of people would never get to see it at all.
His left hand was burning, warmth shooting through his body and nearly choking him in a cyclone of heat. He'd believed this side was cursed, once upon a time. A time that felt so long ago now, and yet, it felt like yesterday.
"It's your power!"
The sound of ice shattering into a million pieces overwhelmed his senses, and before he knew it, he was smoothly sliding to his feet and bursting into flames.
From his crouched position, hand outstretched, he could barely see through the wave of fire that roared to life and swept through the landscape in front of him, swallowing it up in a bright, unyielding inferno. Screaming could be heard, villains scrambling out of the way as the high glaciers succumbed to the heat almost immediately, threatening to fall to the ground and crush them underneath. Todoroki could barely breathe, his ribs sending shrieking pain through his body as fire continued to swirl around him and frost coated his tingling right arm like armor.
And he reveled in it.
This was his power.
And he would use it to protect.
That's.
What.
Heroes.
Do.
With the burning intensity of a thousand suns, a wild grin on his face and caution thrown to the wind, Todoroki shot forward like a bullet.
And he'd never felt so alive.
Awareness came slowly.
Mumbling. Shouting. Too loud and too quiet. Voices familiar and not. Safe and...
He felt like he was floating, suspended in the air and left in a curtain of darkness, and all feeling in his torso had disappeared. Strange, he thought he remembered his chest hurting. And fighting. And walls of fire and ice and screaming not his own-
Broken ribs, for su-
Feveri-
Overused his quir-
Villains have been appre-
Blood lo-
Head traum-
Need immediate eva-
The air was unbearably hot, almost suffocating, and yet he found himself shivering, almost sore from the cold.
The floating sensation became heavier, held in the air by an unknown force, wrapping him securely and lifting him up from the abyss. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realized that someone was holding him.
Too hot. Red and orange.
"Shouto."
Todoroki fought to open his eyes, the heat leaving him bone-tired and in the throes of exhaustion and delirium. The world was bright and without form, blurry shapes and bright colors loudly greeting him.
He saw fire.
"Shouto."
Deep, dark navy, red, icy blue orbs, fire.
"Shouto, stop." Todoroki realized absentmindedly that he'd begun to struggle, but the small burst of energy left him as soon as it had come.
"Put him on a stretcher." Another voice said, a blur of black slumping into his view. For some reason, the bottomless void that made up his vision felt safe.
Cold, but safe.
The pit of flames he'd found himself resting in went silent, a minute pressure holding him against a broad chest before the world began to move. "Right."
A soft surface, freezing, too cold. He felt sweaty, wet, as if he'd been doused in icy water. He almost welcomed the inferno still standing over him. "It's better if you accompany them to the hospital rather than I... But...if anything happens to him..."
The black blur straightened. No hesitation. "I would die for these kids."
More silence. It's too quiet. Todoroki's not a fan. He preferred the yelling. The mumbling. He liked the noise. "...Good."
Fire and icy blue. It was so hot, but so cold. It was hard to breathe. "Shouto."
Todoroki blinked, looking up at the figure above him. There was another pause, and Todoroki wished he'd just say something. The flames appeared to bow. "You did good, Shouto."
It was warm. Not hot, just warm. He nodded numbly.
So tired.
"You will make a fine hero someday."
Did he trust his father?...
...
Just this once...
He'd allow it, just this once.
And he'll see what happens.
The sterile white that met him the next time he woke up nearly blinded him.
Todoroki blinked blearily, eyes slowly adjusting to the bright lights assaulting his vision. The bed was warm, albeit a little stiff, and the hospital robe was soft and comfortable, though the gauze he could feel rubbing against his sore chest made him want to curl up and go back to sleep.
Someone gasped, their voice a whisper. "You're awake!"
Todoroki squinted into the mass of colors dotting the white expanse, until his vision cleared and he could make how two figures, sitting on either side of his bed.
His breath hitched.
Those green eyes, sparkling in the light, vibrant against the sea of white. "How are you feeling? You've been out for a while."
"You say that as if you didn't just wake up yourself, Deku."
"Oh, well, hello again, pot. I'm kettle."
At the time, adrenaline setting his veins on fire, Todoroki hadn't even noticed how pale Midoriya had been until now, his skin once again flush and fair and freckles sitting comfortably on his face rather than sticking out like beacons in the dark. He almost looked like a mummy, everything below his neck completely wrapped in gauze, and Todoroki thought he noticed a pair of crutches leaning precariously against his bedside.
Midoriya turned back to him, meeting his eyes with a blinding smile and unshed tears. "I'm glad you're okay, Todoroki. We heard what happened from Aizawa-sensei. You really saved us!"
Todoroki simply hummed, letting his eyes fall to the other side of the bed. With the stark, light color of his hair, Bakugou blended into the scene just a little bit more, casually leaning against the armrest of his chair with a look that resembled blatant disinterest, but his red eyes somehow stood out even more than Midoriya's own green ones. It was as if they were glowing, boring into him with an intensity that would have any lesser man cowering in fear. From what he could see, only his arms and head seemed to be heavily bandaged, so that was a small comfort at least.
Gingerly, Midoriya reached out and touched his forehead, Todoroki melting into the comforting cold of his skin. "Hmm, you're still a little feverish. They said you overused your quirk to an insane degree and you've been really sick for the last couple of days, so everyone was really worried." The greenette frowned deeply. "You also almost got your lung punctured by one of your broken ribs from overworking yourself and jostling them, and that would have been bad."
Todoroki swallowed. "...So everyone else is okay?" he eventually asked. His throat felt raw.
"Yeah." Midoriya responded quietly, and Todoroki felt himself relaxing into his sheets. "Everyone else is just fine, including us."
"So, go back to sleep, dickhead." Bakugou cut in. "You need to get back on your feet so I can properly crush you."
"Kacchan, be nice."
"You're not my dad."
"Kacchan."
"Deku."
If Todoroki had the energy, he might have laughed at the challenging looks they were giving each other, but frankly, he was too tired to register much else at the moment.
And so, sleep gently pulled at his awareness, leading him away into a kind, warm and comforting darkness, body tired and just the slightest bit sore. He was sure he'd be seeing his other friends and his siblings sometime soon, clamoring to see him and make sure he's okay, because they were always like that.
Once upon a time, he was alone. His father was a monster, his mother was gone, his siblings weren't even allowed to talk to him.
And then suddenly, he was here.
What happened?
...
...What did it matter?
He was here, and he was happy. That's what mattered.
Todoroki fell asleep with a smile on his face, the voices of two of his closest friends following after him.
"I'm glad he's okay. He'd gotten so sick and I was really worried about him... He shouldn't have thrown himself at those villains like that. He could have been killed."
"Okay, who's the pot that's calling the kettle black again?"
"...Be quiet."
Bless the friends he's made over the course of his high school career.