If he'd bolted up out of bed any faster, he might have snapped his neck from the momentum, but that was quite literally the least of his worries at the moment.
It took several seconds for Midoriya to remember where he was, the thousands of dollars worth of All Might merchandise staring him in the face giving him an odd sense of calm. The dorms were dead silent that night, a huge improvement from last night when it was announced that school that day would be canceled and the dormitories on lockdown.
"It's all your fault!"
Midoriya let out something between a groan and a whimper, the nightmare still fresh in his mind. With shaky hands, he steadied himself as he haphazardly rolled out of bed and stumbled towards the light switch. At this point, it was clear to him that he wasn't sleeping tonight, no matter how quiet it now was.
The day before yesterday had started normal enough, for superhero school at least. He, Iida, and Uraraka had almost been late for school that day and Midoriya had to admit that his plan to beat the clock had been especially ridiculous. Once they stepped foot outside the dorm, he had Uraraka use zero gravity on herself and him while they clung to Iida, who used his Recipro Burst to shoot them towards the front entrance. To be completely fair to Iida, he'd had every right to be skeptical of the stunt, but Midoriya and Uraraka had somehow managed to convince him on the grounds that it was fine to run outside, so it would only be to the school's front doors and not through the halls like a bunch of lunatics.
It almost went without a hitch, but then they almost ran over Kacchan and Kirishima just outside the school doors. Thankfully, the former had the sense to grab Kirishima and dive out of the way as the three of them went barreling into the front steps. The result was a pair of broken glasses, ripped tights, a couple missing shoes, a mess of scattered textbooks, notepads, and pencils, a couple thousand yen in property damage, and a headache for Midoriya from slamming face-first into a wall and subsequently being sent cartwheeling through the air.
While Kirishima and Uraraka found the whole situation hysterical, Midoriya might have found it at least somewhat hilarious, had he not been immediately running for his life the moment his gravity returned. Of course, he could have gotten a lot worse then cussed out when it came to the human personification of a landmine, so he chose to count his blessings.
Besides that, after an announcement from Aizawa-sensei about a change in scenery for lunch, morning classes were business as usual with the regular hijinks and antics of Class 1-A. Midoriya had tried to ignore most of it and focus on his studies (which led to mumbling, which became a disruption of its own), but he somehow doubted that anyone would blame him for ducking for cover when Sero's desk spontaneously combusted next to him.
With an exhausted huff, Midoriya collapsed back onto his bed, not even having the energy to cry anymore. Yes, it had been a normal day. Just like any other.
Except for the fact that he'd felt so fidgety.
Did he miss that? Did he ignore it? Did he just not notice? He couldn't remember for the life of him.
"It's all your fault!"
Knock Knock Knock
Soft rapping on his door startled him out of his thoughts. Midoriya sat silently, not entirely sure whether or not he should respond. Who else could possibly be up at that time of night?
A gentle feminine voice answered both questions. "Hey, Deku? It's Uraraka. Are you there?"
Midoriya quickly scurried over to the door, fumbling with the lock in his hurry before creaking it open.
The first thing he noticed, oddly enough, was her disheveled hair. It looked closer to Ashido's style, sticking every which way without a care in the world, just underneath the heavy bandages. Midoriya involuntarily shuddered at the reminder of yesterday's (technically the day before's) events. The second thing was that her eyes were red and puffy, as if she'd been crying, but rather than a sense of sadness as one would expect, she seemed oddly calm with a pleasant smile on her face. Her pajamas were in complete disarray, with buttons in the wrong holes, a rolled-up pants leg, and a missing slipper. She rubbed her eyes with her forearm in a vain attempt to appear more put together.
"I couldn't sleep," she sighed. "So, I was gonna get some water, and I noticed that your light was on. I guess I just assumed that you were awake. I didn't wake you, did I?"
"N-No, no." He stuttered. "To be honest, I couldn't sleep either."
Uraraka smiled sadly. "Can I come in?"
"Oh! Uh, sure! Sure. Come on in." He opened the door wide and stepped away to move cluttered papers and books off the floor. "Sorry about the mess. I haven't done any cleaning in the past couple of days. It might be a little dusty, too."
"No, it's fine." Uraraka quickly responded. "Don't worry about it."
Midoriya chuckled nervously, hoping that she wouldn't notice his own rattled state, the effects of the nightmare still lingering. She carefully took a seat on his bed and sighed loudly. "We haven't been taking this well, huh?"
Realizing instantly what she was referring to, Midoriya's eyes widened in alarm. He dipped his head and rubbed his arm anxiously. "I..."
Uraraka corrected herself. "When I say we, I mean everyone."
"Huh?"
"Yeah, no one seems to be taking this well. I mean, there's the obvious, with his 'squad' and all, but then I've noticed other things."
She smiled, genuinely this time. "Todoroki nearly destroyed his room last night, and Asui's been asking a lot of questions. I think the teachers are ready to pull their hair out because of her among others."
Midoriya couldn't help the small smile fighting to creep along his face as Uraraka paced around his room, arms flailing as she chattered on about their class's apparent genuine empathy and worry for his volatile childhood friend. It made him feel so warm for some reason. "Anyway, Tokoyami's been awfully quiet, and Hagakure, too. Everyone's upset. I was talking to Iida this afternoon, and boy, was he livid! He was rambling something about terrible veterans and suing asylums and I just kind of lost him, you know?"
Midoriya let out a light chuckle. He could hear Iida now. 'I have never been so ashamed of our military forces and fellow heroes in my entire life! I am absolutely shocked that anyone would be so careless as to allow something like this to happen!'
Midoriya shook his head at his own thoughts as Uraraka continued. "I've never seen him so passionate about someone being arrested before. Seriously!"
His head shot up, eyes wide with multiple emotions that not even he could quite place. "Arrested?"
"Oh, you didn't know? I guess you've been hiding in here for the last, what, day and a half? So, I'm not really that surprised." Gingerly, she took a seat next to him, the mattress bending with her weight. "So...yeah. They caught the sniper today. He nearly gave them the slip, but one of the heroes found his rifle hidden in his coat and subdued him when he tried to put up a fight."
He stayed stock still, letting the news sink in. They'd caught the guy. He wasn't a threat to anyone, anymore. The wave of relief that washed over him nearly left him breathless.
They caught the sniper.
Good. That one selfish, entirely human part of him was just as giddy, having its own little celebration deep in the back of his mind, where it would stay. 'He deserved it,' it said. 'Good riddance.' He couldn't bring himself to shut it up right now.
"Well, I guess since you didn't know about that, then I need to tell you the other thing." Midoriya looked into Uraraka's eyes, now glistening with unfallen tears of pure, unadulterated relief.
"He's okay."
Midoriya's mind went blank, not entirely registering the information he was just given. He wasn't even truly grasping what he was supposed to be reacting to. "...What?"
"Isn't that great?" she said giddily, her voice cracking from emotion. "Present Mic took me in to see Recovery Girl this afternoon, at the infirmary. They said he's gonna be fine. Aizawa-sensei says he might even be back in class by next week, like nothing ever even happened!"
...Like nothing ever even happened?
As much as he loved his friend, every fiber of his being was screaming at him to correct her. To tell her that she couldn't possibly understand, because she didn't witness it like he did. She wasn't there.
Except that she was. She had been standing right in front of him, chatting away to him and Iida about some new brand of mochi she'd tried the other day when a flash of light behind her caught his eye, from a building a good distance away from the school and farther into the city. For that split second, his body, his very instincts were screaming at him, swearing up and down to get him to get up and move.
And then, before he could lift a finger, or even voice a warning, there was a faint boom somewhere to the right, and she vanished, practically teleporting to somewhere on the ground to his left. Chopped brunette hair was replaced by spiky ash blonde, and the high rise window in front of them exploded into a spray of shards and web-like cracks.
The sound made him jump, almost falling backward in his chair. Nearby students yelped in surprise as the window nearly burst, leaving bits of broken glass and particles scattered across the tiled floor. The telltale bang that accompanied the window's demise instantly pulled the attention of the entire makeshift cafeteria, the majority of its occupants instinctively ducking for cover in response.
Midoriya sat in complete shock, still trying to process whatever just happened and staring in stunned silence at the back of his childhood friend. He tried to say something, to ask him what happened, if he was okay, anything, but it was as if he'd gone mute.
"What just..." Iida, who had been sitting to his direct left, was now standing, also in the process of trying to figure out what had just transpired.
"Dude, what..." That sounded like Kirishima. Midoriya couldn't really see him in his peripheral, but that sounded like a breathless, very confused and very concerned Kirishima.
But that didn't matter at the moment. What mattered was what was directly in front of him.
Iida spoke up first. "Bakugou, what just happened? Are you alright?"
There was a shaky breath in response. "Shu... Shut it... F-F-Four eyes." he rasped.
He was bracing himself against the table, hunching over with extremely shaky shoulders and hands gripping the edge hard enough for the table to creak, and Midoriya spared a glance towards Kirishima. Though he himself could only see his back, Kirishima had a very good view of Kacchan's face from where he was, and the slowly growing look of utter horror was not helping the knot twisting violently in his stomach.
And then his knees gave out. Kirishima reacted first, sprinting forward as Kacchan turned to his side to grip the table in an attempt to keep himself upright, and Midoriya got his first look at him.
He looked pale. He looked so pale and his face was contorted into an expression of agony. He was breathing harshly through his teeth at this point, making a soft hissing sound. Midoriya, now close to panicking, wasn't quite sure what to make of it at first, but as Kacchan tried to pull himself up, Midoriya's eyes fell onto his chest, where a large red stain was beginning to blossom. His breath hitched.
Kirishima reached him just as he lost his grip and fell. Midoriya finally seemed to regain mobility, shooting out of his chair and leaping over the table in a single movement. Iida was already there, having sprinted around said table to survey the damage himself.
"Bakugou! Can you hear me? Come on, talk to me, man!" Kirishima begged, gently lowering his classmate to the ground. Kacchan, in turn, bit his lip to keep from crying out. Kirishima swiftly tore off his own jacket and pressed it against the wound in an attempt to at least slow down the bleeding.
"That was a gunshot!" someone claimed loudly.
"Were we just sniped at!?"
"Where are the teachers?!"
"What's happening?!"
"Stay down! What if we're shot at again?"
"I WILL GO GET THE TEACHERS!" Iida announced loudly, turning around and sprinting out of the room, not caring about any garbage, chairs, or other obstacles that he might have knocked over and scattered in his haste.
Midoriya shook, hands partially outstretched in contemplation of what he could possibly do about this. 'What do I do?' 'What do I do?'
"Dude." Kirishima breathed as Kacchan slowly, painstakingly reached out and weakly grasped the redhead's arm.
He coughing hoarsely. "K-Kiri...?"
"That- That was so cool, man. You totally took a hit for Midoriya and took it like a champ." He was practically whispering, his voice slightly quivering. "Just hang on, okay? It looks like you're hurt pretty bad. Iida just went to get the teachers."
He looked so out of it. Midoriya could only assume that shock was starting to set in. His fingers were twitching now, begging for action, to do something. Anything. He was dying!
Kacchan was dying and it was all his fault.
The thought plowed into him like a truck. It was almost as if All Might had just punched him in the gut, no restraint, in his prime. He finally closed the distance, lurching forward and kneeling down next to them. "Kacchan?"
Crimson eyes lazily peered up into dark green, and a barely noticeable spark of recognition crossed his features. "Wh- What...nerd?" he choked out.
"I-I- I- Are you- I mean-..." he stuttered, trying his best not to hyperventilate. Tears had started streaming down his face by now. He looked so pale. "Why did you-..."
Another coughing fit started, followed immediately by more hissing. "Hey, hey come on." Midoriya's voice cracked, sounding more and more hysterical. "J-Just hang on, Kacchan. Iida went to find Aizawa-sensei, or All Might. You're gonna be just fine, I promise!"
"Sh-shut up... So damn annoying..." He bit back another yell, causing his own lower lip to bleed, and let out a couple of shaky breaths and a shudder.
And he went limp.
It was as if everything had stopped. As if the world had ceased turning and the sky had come crashing down on top of him. Everything else was drowned out, with the exception of Kirishima's startled cry, followed by pleas for his best friend to open his eyes. To come back.
Everything else had faded away by now, and Midoriya realized that there was nothing but silence.
"You."
The world shattered like a wine glass hitting the floor and he found himself surrounded by blackness. He didn't even know what was happening anymore.
"If you'd- If you hadn't- You."
Pulling at his hair in terror, Midoriya realized that he was standing, with Kirishima and Kacchan now a few feet in front of him. He didn't remember moving.
"You did this."
Kirishima's eyes were filled with a foreign look of burning hatred, as if he was staring at a monstrosity. His voice was like fire.
"You could have done something."
He was clinging onto Kacchan as if he were a lifeline. And Kacchan-
"You could have done anything."
-wasn't breathing.
"And you did nothing!"
Midoriya felt as if he was suffocating. Like everything was falling apart, turning to dust, decaying. He was surrounded by nothingness. He fell to his knees and screamed, but there was no sound.
"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"
"DEKU!"
If he'd bolted up out of bed any faster, he might have snapped his neck from the momentum, but that was quite literally the least of his worries at the moment.
It took several seconds for Midoriya to remember where he was, the thousands of dollars worth of All Might merchandise staring him in the face giving him an odd sense of calm. The dorms were-
"Deku."
Soft, shaky hands were clinging onto his shoulders. Midoriya, still in somewhat of a confused state, slowing looked up to find Uraraka staring back at him.
She was sobbing. "Deku..."
She pulled him into a tight embrace, clinging onto him, trying to keep him grounded. "It was not your fault."
"Don't worry, for I am here!"
"ALL MIGHT!"
He couldn't help but remember when the teachers arrived, with Present Mic and Aizawa-sensei looking over Kacchan while All Might approached the freckled teen. He remembered clinging onto his mentor as if the fate of the universe depended on it.
"I saw it coming!" he'd sobbed. "I saw it coming and I couldn't do anything! I just let it happened! If I'd just-"
"Shh. Stop that." All Might had replied, his skinny arms pulling him into a tight hug. "It is most certainly not your fault, young Midoriya."
"But I could've-"
"No. I said stop." he'd said calmly, yet sternly. "There's nothing we can do to change things now. I'm sorry it had to be like this, but you need to understand."
His grip on his student tightened in an attempt to calm his shivering. "Yes, as a hero, you have a responsibility to protect and to save. However..." he sighed sadly. "No matter how hard you try, you cannot save everyone. Even I have had to learn this awful lesson. It pains me that you had to learn it like this."
"I could've..."
"Shh. It's okay, young Midoriya. It's okay."
"I- I..."
And he'd cried. He'd cried until there were no more tears to cry. He cried until sleep finally overtook him, making the images of his bloody and pale childhood friend seem like nothing but a distant nightmare.
And Uraraka had been there too, just as she was now, keeping him together, holding him as if he'd fall apart the moment she let go.
"It's not your fault." she breathed. "It's not, I promise. It's not."
"But I-"
"Just stop it. Please." she cried.
Midoriya let his head drop onto her shoulder as she continued. "Everything's okay now. Please, stop dragging yourself through the mud over this. You're my friend, and I care about you so much."
She let out another sob. "I hate to see you hurting like this."
Midoriya silently allowed her to hold onto him and cry, eventually allowing himself to hug her back, nestling his face into her collarbone. They stayed like that for what felt like centuries, both giving and receiving comfort that they so desperately needed. Before they knew it, sunlight was starting to leak in through Midoriya's dorm room window, fighting for the attention of the two young and distraught heroes-in-training.
Uraraka wiped her eyes and let out a soft chuckle. "You think Aizawa-sensei would be mad if we skipped class and spent the day in the infirmary?"
Midoriya blinked at her owlishly. Uraraka smiled. "You know, check on Bakugou, for your own peace of mind. From what I understand, he's still unconscious, but healing. So, how about it?" The zero gravity quirk user stood swiftly, dusting off her messy pajama pants and holding out a hand for him to take. "Let's get changed and go visit him!"
For a moment, Midoriya hesitated. The guilt was still eating him alive and he didn't know if he'd be able to handle even looking at Kacchan right now. However, Uraraka's outstretched hand and her smile in the morning sun couldn't have been more inviting. More welcoming.
And so, he took a deep breath and accepted her hand.
"Stop moping, you moron. It's pissing me off."
The sudden cut in the awkward silence nearly made Midoriya jump out of his skin, just the voice alone immediately pulling his attention towards it. Of course, one look into Kacchan's piercing red eyes and he instantly broke his gaze. Despite the lack of the blonde's usual hostility, Midoriya couldn't help but feel on edge, considering why they were there in the first place.
Kacchan shouldn't even be here in the first place.
"You shouldn't have done that..." was all he could muster. It still hurt to look at him and remember the ring of a gunshot and the sight of freely flowing blood, but deep down, there was a small part of him that burned with gratitude and warmth for such a gesture. Thank you.
"Don't tell me what to do, shitnerd." was his brash reply. Despite the bite behind it, Midoriya knew from experience what truly venomous words sounded like, and that wasn't what he was hearing here. He just couldn't help the small smile that graced his lips at the comforting feeling of familiarity that he thought had long since died.
"Please don't do that again." His voice was soft, almost pleading, begging-
"What did I literally just say?!" Yeah, he should have known.
And yet, for whatever reason, Midoriya felt happy.
Maybe everything was going to be just fine.