He spins on the spot, almost in disbelief at what he's just heard. His face shows his fury, his blood at a boiling point. Who the fuck does he think he is?! He thinks I'm a coward?! The madness within him takes over his entire body and, before he can stop himself, he's there in front of him. Christian's fists curl around his jacket, his grip unbreakable, and he backs him until he slams Syed against the pillar. He can feel his breath quickening, his heart pumping his blood though his veins at an alarming rate. He's goading me he thinks, but why? Does he seriously expect I'll give in this time?!
Syed stares at him, he's elevated slightly on his tip toes and he looks directly at him. He can't believe he was going to walk away from him, from them?! Just like that he was going to be done with it all. After everything they'd gone through, after everything they'd sacrificed he was going to throw it all away? Well fuck that Syed thought to himself. I won't let him. That's why he said it, that's why he called him a coward. He wasn't fighting for them any more and if he didn't fight for them then who would? As soon as he thinks it he realises how selfish he sounds. Why would he fight he thought to himself, I've rejected him so many times he thinks there's nothing to fight for. But there was. There always would be.
Christian keeps his gaze, refuses to break it even to blink. It kills him inside to stare in to those eyes but he won't look away. Syed knows the effect his eyes have on him, but Christian's determined to let him see they won't work on him today. Nor will he speak to him. No matter what he says to him Syed will do what he always does, he'll twist his words, he does it so well, and Christian always falls for it. But not tonight. For once he can all but stand to look in to Syed's eyes, in the last few minutes alone he's finally learned to control his want for him. Tonight he wont submit to him.
Syed sees the difference in him. He can feel the weight of his entire body pushing him up against the pillar, no sign of any release and he knows his usual charms won't work tonight. But they have to. Something has to work because he simply cannot lose the love of this man. He searches Christian's eyes, his face, for some kind of sign but, for the first time he can't find one. He's almost like a stranger to him.
I've won he thinks to himself. Christian can see him searching his face for a hint of what he's thinking but he gives nothing away. And he won't. His grip is still tight on him, his arms taking the weight of his whole body and he's not letting go. He'd stay here, like this all night if he had to, just to prove he doesn't need to fuck him. He can look in to those eyes, he can touch him, feel him without fucking him. No matter what it takes, Christian holds on to his determination to make this lie a reality.
Syed's anger is back; he's playing with me! Nudging me harder back against the pillar, going alpha male on me just to prove he's stronger. Like he needs to do that he thinks, almost mockingly in his head, any idiot can see that. Well he may be stronger than me Syed thought, but he's not as fucking clever. Biting his tongue inside his mouth, realising that what he was about to do would make or break them, he reached up and forcefully removes Christian's hands from his clothes, never breaking his gaze once. He might not be able to read his thoughts right now but Syed almost laughs at how Christian seems to have forgotten just how well Syed knows him. He knows that, if he tried to kiss him, he'd be pushed away. If he tried to touch him, he'd back away from him and that's the last thing Syed wants. He's so close to him he can feel every breath he takes. Games will be played tonight after all.
He knows him well and plays to his weakness. He is his weakness and they both know it. Careful not to break the lock between their eyes, Syed slides his jacket from his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. As soon as he hears the thud on the floor his fingers begin to undo the buttons on his own shirt, teasingly allowing his eyes to momentarily dart down to Christian's lips before finding his eyes again.
Don't.
Christian is firm in his denial, forceful. He cannot let this start, he cannot let him undress himself, he knows he'll succumb to him if he does. He never believed he would ever tell Syed to stop but he has to, he has to keep up the lie. But he's to late, Syed's shirt falls on top of his jacket in a heap on the floor just as the word leaves his mouth and Christian digs deep inside of him to find the resistance to look at his body in it's glorious state of almost nakedness. His eyes flicker slightly but they don't disobey him. He keeps his focus on Syed's eyes, trying his hardest not so show how close he is to being his again.
The silence between them is deafening, broken only by the raging breaths neither can hold back.
Syed is at a loss again, he's so believable he almost caves in to his demand to stop. But then he sees it, he sees Christian's tell. The hard gulp followed by the slight parting of his lips. He can't stop now, he has to keep trying. He's totally unaware of the hope he's just given him. He knows he has a chance, as small as it may be, he has a chance and he will do anything he can to have him love him again. He moves his hands downwards over his own body, so careful not to touch Christian, and stops at his waist.
The sound of his belt buckle rattling as he begins to loosen it breaks Christian's trance and he glances down. Just as Syed thought he'd won, that he'd finally be able one with him again, Christian shatters his happiness again.
I said don't.
It's almost a whisper. He doesn't even believe it himself so he takes Syed's wrists in his hands and holds them tightly against his sides. His hands burn as they touch his naked flesh, his eyes begging him to let them look downwards at his perfect nakedness but Christian denies them again. For once, his head is ruling his heart. This cannot happen. He cannot let him in again. His fury is still there, still blistering away inside of him but, now he's in front of him, half naked, his can't ignore that his lust burns more.
Say it again and I'll stop.
Fuck he's cocky!
Syed's wrists are still in Christians grip as he slowly starts to drop to his knees. Christian loosens his clutch on him slightly but not enough for him to be free. He tilts his head back slightly to hide his wonder. What the fuck is he planning? He still has his trousers on, Syed doesn't have a hand free to undo them. What the fuck does he think he can do down there when he's fully clothed?! He has his answer instantly. Aware that he's on his knees he feels a small nudge against his cock and glances down to see the tip of Syed's nose rub against him through his jeans. Christian gulps down a breath, he won't show him he's tempted but he doesn't have to. Syed can feel his hardness. Christian can feel his determination to resist him ebb away, it's still there but it's leaving him by the second. He's failing.
Syed can feel him harden from the slightest touch and begins to kiss his length upwards through his trousers. Completely engrossed by what is happening Christian starts to loosen his grip a little more. Syed can feel it but he wont run the risk of trying to free himself yet. He can hear the gasps he's trying to mask and Syed knows those well. He's in a semi-trance right now and any disturbance will break it. He keeps kissing him, inhaling his scent through his thick jeans. Fuck he's desperate to taste him. He's won, Christian knows he can't keep this up any longer and he drops his grip so he can lean forward on the pillar to balance himself. He'll fuck him he admits to himself. But he'll fuck him hard.