June 10th, 99 ADD

I did not write anything last night as there was nothing to note. Most of the day was spent exploring the arena and, personally, mastering the jetpack controls. They aren't complicated, but I want as much muscle memory with them as I can get. I believe Aurelia agrees with me, as she sent me more jetpack fuel. I stashed it with the pile Amar and I have hidden.

Today, however, we started to get into the routine. Amar and I stayed back in the morning while the others went out, and then she and I went out all afternoon. We spent the first ten minutes or so just flying, and if I'm being honest, I enjoyed it. There's something about being up in the sky that makes me feel so far away from it all. Mother and Asaki are all the way down on the earth below - which I can't even see, because beneath the clouds is something like a void, or a pit - and Hideo is, too, wherever he is now, and I've left it all behind and it's just Amar and I. I have to admit she's been good company the last three days, even if her jokes are stupid and she smiles too easily. Up here, I almost feel more like myself than I have in four years. I can almost forget.

Eventually, we had to stop flying to conserve fuel, and just walked. The tops of the clouds are firmer than they appear. I expect that there's some kind of structure within them, as the Gamemakers aren't magic. People can't walk on water. They can make it appear like we do, though. Most of the clouds we've seen so far have been full and white, although there are some thinner ones toward what seems like the edge of the arena.

Around midafternoon, I had a realization. While the clouds aren't flat, and that provides hiding places, the smarter hiding places are at higher altitudes, where anyone below you can't see you. The cloud platforms aren't all at one height, and instead vary widely, so it would be more productive to search from a higher vantage point. I told Amar my theory, and she agreed, so we flew significantly higher and started again.

Almost immediately, we found a tribute. He attempted to flee, but Amar cut him off, which allowed me to land three throwing stars in his abdomen in quick succession. He doubled over, and Amar held her ax over his neck. I thought she would take the kill then and there, but she didn't. She made eye contact with me instead, and I don't know how, because she didn't say anything, but I could tell she was leaving an opening for me. Instead of wasting more throwing stars, I ran closer and pulled out a dagger and stabbed him through the eye, quickly and mostly cleanly. He didn't have time to scream, and the cannon fired then and there. Amar dropped him, and he disappeared into the void beneath the clouds.

She started to congratulate me, but I interrupted her. I asked her why she did that. She seemed confused, so I had to outright ask why she let me take the kill. She shrugged and said I let her take a kill during the Bloodbath, so it was only right. I reminded her that fair shares and equal opportunities don't matter in the Games, but she said she didn't mind. Then I said that she didn't need to pay me back for the Bloodbath, and she got one of her annoying fucking smiles - the ones where she thinks she knows something I don't - and said she was glad she was here with me. I didn't know how to respond to that. She blinked at me (she was trying to wink, but that girl cannot fucking wink to save her life) and activated her jetpack and started to fly off without me, so I had to chase after her, which made her laugh, which was even more annoying.

I wish she would stop fucking doing that. I keep thinking we've finally accomplished a normal working relationship, and then she goes and says something like "I'm glad I'm here with you" or cries laughing at her own joke or fails at winking again, and things almost feel like they did four years ago with him. I just have to make sure to keep my distance. This isn't forever. Hideo left, and Amar will too. So I won't get attached like that. I'll let her keep doing what she wants and thinking I'm the best friend she's clearly desperate for, but I'll know better. I will.

The stars are out again tonight. It seems like there's even more of them this time. There's a cold breeze, but the stars still feel warm, somehow. And the rest of the world feels farther than ever.

I like it.

K.A.