I Can See You
You brush past me in the hallway and you don't think I can see you
Meredith had been doing her absolute best not to make eye contact with him as she walked down the hallway. She knew he was there of course; she could hear him talking to a resident as he walked down the hallway, his voice getting louder as her got nearer. That voice that made all the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. That voice that she could still remember whispering all sorts of inappropriate things in her ear as they'd laid on the floor in front of the fireplace together that night, limbs twisted together.
And you don't think I, I, I can see you, do you?
It was like a jolt of electricity when they finally passed, his shoulder and arm brushing up against her, the way his fingers lingered as though they were going to grab hers, just for a second. She kept her eyes trained on the floor, as she had done deliberately the whole way down the hallway, as soon as she had heard his voice and become aware of his presence. She knew exactly what he was doing, well at least she thought she did. That hallway was more than wide enough that he could've passed her comfortably if he had tried, there was no need for him to get that close and touch her… except he'd done it deliberately. She could feel his eyes on her back as she carried on walking. One foot in front of the other Meredith. You can do it.
I've been watching you for ages
What were the odds, of all the guys in the bar that night, that the one who'd caught her eye would turn out to be her boss? It would be funny really, except it wasn't. He'd caught her eye as soon as he'd walked in, she had watched quietly as he sat himself down at the bar and that was before he'd even started talking to her. She'd been rendered speechless for a moment or two when she'd then been confronted with those same twinkling eyes on her very first day at work the next day. His smirk was subtle, but it was there... and she'd already known from that moment that she was in some serious trouble.
And I spend my time trying not to feel it
It was inappropriate, that was what she kept telling herself… and him for that matter. There was no way in hell she was about to let him turn her in to that slutty intern sleeping with the attending. She'd got more than enough problems going on in her life, like being the daughter of the famous Ellis Grey wasn't enough of a problem to contend with as an intern in the very same hospital where her mother had worked. Never mind having to try and keep the whole Alzheimer's situation quiet when it felt like every nurse and doctor in the place kept asking how her mother was and what she was doing these days. No, getting involved with Derek Shepard was not an option. So, she looked at the floor when she passed him in the hallways, prayed every day that she didn't get assigned to neuro and tried to ignore the dreams she was having every night which featured him rather heavily.
But what would you do if I went to touch you now?
"Doctor Grey!" His voice came from behind her as she stood at the nurse's station. The hairs on the back of her neck all stood on end again.
Meredith glanced around quickly, looking for an escape route. Would any of the nurses notice if she completely ignored him? The second or two she hesitated was too long, he was right behind her now, she could feel him stood there, smell that cologne that somehow still seemed to linger in her house.
"Dr Shepard." She smiled politely, turning around to face him. She was in trouble, looking at him instantly brought back the delightful dream she'd woken up from this morning. She felt the colour rush to her cheeks instantly. Maybe he wouldn't notice?
"You look a little flushed Dr Grey, busy morning?" He asked, taking half a step forward so he was stood just a little too close to her. Not enough for anyone to really notice as they went about their day, but enough for her to know he'd done it on purpose. That smirk on his face would be infuriating if he wasn't so bloody gorgeous... and that hair, it just made her think of the way her fingers had tangled through it. It made her want to reach out and do it again…
She shook the thought away quickly. "Yes," She answered shortly, taking a step back until her back was against the nurse's station. "Can I help you with something, Dr Shepard?" Her voice faltered for a second, looking everywhere but at him.
"I need to borrow you for a bit, my intern got held up with something. Bailey said it's okay. Come on." He pointed to the stairwell.
Meredith looked around nervously, no one seemed to be paying attention to the two of them anyway, but she so didn't want to be the subject of the hospital rumour mill.
"Who's the patient?" She asked, not moving from her spot.
"We are going to the ER, I'll tell you on the way." He said, heading for the stairs.
She followed after him, her feet seemingly moving of their own free will.
What would you do if they never found us out?
Following him into the relative privacy of the stairwell she forced herself to stay a little bit more than a step behind him. Space was good, it helped her clear her head. Freed her of the intoxicating smell of his cologne, thoughts about all the things he could do to her if only she'd let him.
"Meredith." He'd stopped and turned to face her while she was lost in her own thoughts and now, she was uncomfortably close to him again. Well, it would be uncomfortable if it wasn't for how much she was secretly enjoying it.
"Derek…" She sighed. "I really don't have time for this fake patient. I..."
He took another step forward, their bodies basically touching now, breath mingling. "I know but hear me out." He looked down at her face, eyes searching hers intently like he was looking for some kind of answer.
She looked back at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue. His face relaxed when he realised, she wasn't about to fight him, this time anyway. "I know you're worried about what everyone would think, but what if they never found out." He raised an eyebrow suggestively.
"Derek." She sighed, taking a step backwards. It was a bad move; she'd backed herself up against the wall in the stairwell.
He took a step forwards until their bodies were flush again. "Meredith."
She should push him away; she knew if she did he'd stop. But she couldn't make herself do it. Instead her hands came to rest weakly against his chest, feeling those muscles she knew were underneath, the same ones she'd been admiring while he was naked on the floor… she needed to change her train of thought. She could feel the colour rushing to her cheeks again. This man was going to be the death of her.
"You know," She eventually got out. "You dragging me off into the stairwell in the middle of the day isn't exactly discreet." It was a weak argument at best. His hands resting on her hips, the feeling of his breath on her neck was really testing her resolve.
"Tell me you're not enjoying it and I'll stop." He winked.
What would you do if we never made a sound?
She tightened her grip on his shirt just a fraction but didn't say anything.
His smirk widened. "I didn't think so." His lips were millimetres from hers now, her heart felt like it was pounding out of her chest and she was surprised in the silence of the stairwell that he couldn't hear it. She stood there trying to pretend that her dreams hadn't more or less featured this exact scenario.
The spell was broken by the noise of the door opening and closing on the floor above them, the sound of footsteps signalling that they were no longer alone and the two of them sprung apart, Meredith hurrying back out of the door before he could say anything else.
'Cause I can see you waiting down the hall from me
She didn't see him for the rest of the day, which was probably just as well because it had been seriously busy and she was fairly sure her brain functioned a lot better the further away from Derek Shepard she was.
But she noticed him instantly as she came out of the locker room at the end of her shift. He was stood far enough away that he didn't look like some kind of creep, lurking outside the locker room. Leaning against the wall like some kind of male model as he frowned at something on his phone.
And I could see you up against the wall with me
She'd be lying if she said that she wasn't disappointed when they'd been interrupted in the stairwell earlier. The only reason nothing had happened between the two of them since that first night was her constant protests that she was not going to be the slutty intern sleeping with the attending. Her resolve to stay strong weakened a little more every time she saw him though, and that whole thing in the stairwell, the feeling of his body up against hers… she was having trouble remembering why she was supposed to be quite so against it.
And what would you do, baby, if you only knew?
He knew what he was doing, she was sure of it. All the times he'd brushed passed her a little to close in the hallways, stood a little too close to her while teaching her something. He knew it drove her mad, and half the time she was about ready to throw him up against the wall no matter who was watching.
But instead, she settled for brushing past him a little too closely on her way out. "Good night, Dr Shepard." She smirked, heading for the elevator.
He waited for a second, pretending to check something on his phone so he didn't look so suspicious, before heading in the same direction.
"Exciting plans tonight, Dr Grey?" He asked, standing a fraction too close to her as they waited for the elevator.
She didn't answer him straight away, the ding of the elevator signalling it had arrived at their floor. He smiled politely at the couple of people who got out before following Meredith inside.
"You do know I know what you're doing, right?" She asked, turning to face him as the elevator doors closed and left the two of them alone.
He grinned at her again in a way that really, she should find infuriating. "I don't know what you're talking about."
She rolled her eyes at him. "Am I going to need a restraining order to stop you lurking outside the locker rooms?"
His face was serious for a moment. "Tell me to stop and I'll stop, Meredith."
She said nothing, instead taking a step forwards and closing the remaining distance between the two of them. Instead of telling him to leave her alone like the sensible part of her knew she should, she twisted her fingers into that mess of dark hair of his like she'd been thinking about all day and pressed her lips to his.
They sprung apart as the elevator reached the ground floor. "My place in an hour." She muttered before she stepped out of the elevator without looking back.
That I can see you