The anger from last night didn't dissipate as Grey rested. In fact, everything running through his head all night just made him angrier.
And the fact that he's so worked up about him just makes him even more pissed off. He has a death game to prepare for and Kalara is still the only thing he keeps coming back to.
He had one night. One night left to finish his father's story. And they took that away from him.
He doesn't talk to her, or his mentor, when they eat their last meal together. He doesn't talk to them when they board the hovercraft, and he makes sure he sits as far away from her as he can manage. The ride isn't long, so he sure as hell doesn't talk to her then.
He actually convinces himself he can get out of having another conversation with Kalara Volkan when she says something as they're getting off the hovercraft.
"Are you in, or out?" she asks.
"I'm out," he says. No harshness in his tone. A simple response to a complicated situation.
He was destined to go into this fight alone. It's just a shame it took him this long to realize it.
He's led to his launch room by an Avox, and it's not long before Iovita comes in with his arena outfit.
He had no expectations for what the arena could hold, so he's not too surprised when Iovita starts giving him pieces of his outfit. Fitted, brown leather pants. Ankle-high, black leather boots. A loose white blouse. And a brown vest to go over the top of it.
"There's a thin piece of metal inside. So at least it offers some protection," Iovita explains as she adjusts the vest. Grey adjusts the wedding ring on his finger.
And now they wait. They don't say anything to one another, not until a voice over the intercom announces that it's time for the tributes to step onto their plates.
"Good luck. Don't think about anything else but yourself. I think you can do this," Iovita says with a reaffirming smile.
"Thanks," Grey says. Considering that was already his plan, he's happy he has some support from the Capitol.
He steps into the tube, feeling the brisk air seeping in from the arena above him. He closes his eyes.
He hears the wind. He hears the faint chirping of birds. And soon, he hears the gears that start to raise him into the arena.
He opens his eyes.
A large water fountain is the first thing that he sees. It stands about fifteen feet high, with about a dozen platforms that get smaller as it gets higher in the air. A small stream of water flows down from the top, but it's immediately clear to Grey that it has another purpose.
It's our cornucopia. Grey can see the variety of objects lining the platforms on the fountain. Some of the smaller materials are scattered on the cracked concrete surrounding the fountain. Grey can see a poncho, a water canister, and a lighter directly in front of him. As the platforms get higher, so does the desirability of the items.
Above the fountain is a holographic projection of a countdown. Grey has sixty seconds to take in his surroundings and form a plan.
Surrounding the fountain, and therefore the twenty-four tributes, is a small village of sorts. A dozen or so houses surround the group, none of them bigger than a story high. At the edge of the village, Grey can see a large dark fortress. Past the fortress, the terrain surrounding the village seems cracked and dry.
Grey locks his eyes on two things: a small sword resting on the third platform, and a small blue backpack next to it.
Out of his peripheral, he sees someone moving their arms. At a quick glance, he realizes it's Ettan, who then points to something behind Grey. Grey doesn't bother to look.
Ten seconds remain, and Grey knows what he has to do.
He ignores Ettan. He ignores Keeva. He especially ignores Kalara. And when the gong sounds, Grey is off to the supplies. With one effortless swipe, he is able to get ahold of the sword in one hand and fling the bag over his other shoulder. As he sprints away from the forming chaos, his shoulder finds another tribute and the next thing he knows, his ass is on the ground.
Get up get up get up get up - Grey's mind is screaming while his hands fumble with the sword he got. He puts his back on the town, and what's unfolding in front of him terrifies him.
The once-blue water is red. Multiple bodies are strayed around. The small girl from Three's face down floating in the fountain. The boy from Five's body is reaching for the top of the fountain, his face permanently locked with fear.
The Careers have all found themselves a weapon, and they're moving out toward the fools that remain.
I am a fool. Grey pushes up to his feet and feels a sharp pain in his calf. The tribute he ran into - the girl from Nine still lies on the ground, her face and arm completely scratched up from the jagged concrete. She swipes a knife at Grey, and blood begins pooling under his feet.
He backs up and the timing couldn't have been better for him, as the boy from Two has caught wind of their commotion. Fortunately for Grey, he goes for the easier target on the ground. Grey turns to run.
He doesn't want to watch her die.
His calf is on fire, and his limp is painful. He keeps glancing over his shoulder, but no one follows.
He didn't see where any of his former allies went. He didn't see their bodies amongst the rest. But he didn't really look any longer than he had to.
He runs away from the bloodshed for what feels like an hour before adrenaline has worn off enough to no longer mask the pain. He finds the nearest house and, after ensuring the coast is clear, he dips inside.
He immediately takes note of the small cot and wooden table that decorate the inside of the house. He doesn't see a chair, so he collapses onto the cot, dust exploding into the air. He examines his wound. The blood has stained the entirety of his calf, and shredded parts of that pant leg.
He sets his sword down beside him and goes through his bag. He finds a few worthwhile items: a bundled-up rope, a few apples, an empty water bottle, a small knife, and a few pieces of gauze. He takes one and wraps it around his wound.
Please don't get infected. He tells himself he'll clean it later. Once he finds a source of clean water.
At least he has the apples. He's full from his morning breakfast and well rested - yet when he tries to stand up, his legs wobble and he's forced to sit back down.
How much blood did I lose? Whatever symptoms he had were masked by his flight response from the bloodbath, and now he's suffering the consequences.
He elevates his leg with his backpack and keeps his sword in his grasp.
Five minutes. That's how he convinces himself to take the moment to rest.
His train of thought is interrupted by the firing of the bloodbath cannons. Nine fire in total, and Grey doesn't bother to contemplate them.
Five minutes. He truly intended to only take five.
He doesn't know how long he was asleep. He just knows when he does eventually come back to it, he's greeted with two Careers breaking down the door.
He's not ready he's not prepared how is he going to survive - He clumsily grasps for his sword and when he stands up, the room starts to spin.
"Hello, you," the girl from Four has a knife in each of her hands, and they're decorated with blood.
The boy from Two doesn't say anything. He lunges at Grey, who is conscious enough to just barely dodge the strike. With his sword gripped tightly, he tries his own retaliation strike. The Career brushes it off without a sweat, and with Grey lunged out and vulnerable, the Career takes the butt of his sword and slams it into Grey's back. With a grunt, the boy is on his knees. He hears the sword cutting through the air and rolls out of the way. His calf wound has reopened, and the dizziness returns.
On the ground, Grey does the only thing he can and swipes at the boy's ankles. Taken off guard, the boy stumbles backward, losing a grip on his own sword.
But the Career girl is quick. She throws a knife toward Grey, and he screams when it embeds itself in his left shoulder. He can't decide if he's going to vomit, pass out, cry, or die.
But he pushes himself up, only to be tackled back down by the girl. She straddles him, pushing the embedded knife deeper into his arm, with the other knife raised above his skull.
He's blinded by so much pain he doesn't know how his sword ended up skewered through her back. She drops the knife, and it just cuts his cheek as it clatters to the ground. Her body collapses to the wooden floor beside him, and her cannon signals her end.
"You bitch!" The boy is still alive. Grey's fingers find the handle of the dropped knife, and without thinking, throws it into the stomach of the Career. The boy falls to his knees and makes the mistake of pulling out the knife. Grey expects him to fall to the side as the girl did.
He expects a cannon to fire.
Maybe two. Maybe he'll hear his own.
But the boy doesn't die. He just stays in place, knife in hand.
Grey can't take the pain. He gives in to the exhaustion, and he lets black cover his vision. His heart pounds weakly in his ears. His shoulder and his calf throb. He's sweating and freezing.
He's dying.
He didn't expect death to feel like this. He thought it would be fast. He didn't think he'd be able to hear his own heart or feel the blood leaving his body. He didn't think he would be around long enough to reminisce on his life. His family. His graveyard.
It brings peace. He lets his mind run free through his memories. He thinks he smiles. His mom is there.
His siblings are there. And his dad. Morys Thornton holds his hand out to welcome his son into his world.
But Grey has no strength to reach for it.
A cannon fires.
~~~~~~~~~A Dream~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm dead. That is the thought that fills Grey's mind when he returns to consciousness. When his eyes open, he's looking at the night sky. His head pounds, and he doesn't dare make a single movement despite the deep breaths he hears.
Multiple breaths. Leaves rustling under someone. A bird chirping.
"Dad?" Grey says. Or, tries. It comes out as a groan followed by a cough.
"Hey, hey take it easy," a female voice says. A female. Not his dad. He's not with his dad.
Where's his dad?
She leans over him and gently pours water on his skin. The water that enters his mouth is refreshing. It flows down his throat, past his aching shoulder.
His shoulder. He sees that the knife has been replaced with a dark red bandage.
A blanket. That's what Grey is laying on. He's no longer in the house, he's outside. He can make out the outline of a house behind the girl.
Keeva. Her name comes to him.
"Wa. wh..." He has a million questions and zero strength to convey them.
"Just rest. You're okay," she whispers.
He's not okay. How could she insinuate that? He's dying. She stopped that.
Not just her. Grey closes his eyes again. But with Keeva came Ettan. And with Ettan came Kalara.
And Grey has no desire to face her again.
Grey has no choice but to let his body heal. He doesn't resist when he's given water or food. As he suspected, Kalara is with the Elevens. But so is Devin. And Grey can work with that.
He thinks two days pass. He hears two cannons fire. They told him that brought the total number of dead to fourteen.
How is he in the final ten? He's already died once.
On the morning of the third day, he forces himself to sit up against a tree.
"Fuck," he mutters to himself. The only one around the unlit fire is Devin.
"Good morning, sunshine. I thought we lost you," he says. He holds up an apple.
"Is that mine?" Grey's voice is so raspy it makes him think someone else spoke.
"Yes. Ettan couldn't help but go through your things. You can't be mad at him," Devin scoots closer to the boy and holds the apple up to his mouth. He takes a bite.
The pain shoots through his entire body. He can see that his calf isn't as bad as it was when he went out. But his shoulder is terrible, even in a halfheartedly constructed wrap.
"They went out hunting an hour ago. So you're stuck with me." He leans against the same tree.
"What happened?" Grey asks.
"Well, we heard screaming. Kalara wanted to ignore it, but Ettan thought it sounded like you. He saw you run off this way, and he was worried you were lost. We actually followed the blood trail, which led us straight to you. You made a bloody mess in there, didn't you?"
"I don't remember.." Grey says. He remembers flashes. The girl trying to stab him. The boy with a knife in his abdomen.
"Well, the Career girl was dead by the time Ettan convinced us to check the house. The boy was crawling to you. Kalara had the honor of finishing him off. And...there you were. When the cannon fired, Ettan thought it was yours. But you were whispering to yourself. So we patched you up and brought you out here." Devin paints the picture back into Grey's mind.
He doesn't say anything, and Devin gives him another bite of apple.
A few thoughts clash in his mind, exacerbating his headache. He told Kalara he was out of the alliance.
Yet she took his kill and sat by as everyone else patched him up. The face Keeva gave him when he woke up for the first time.. was a face of genuine concern, not betrayal.
Ettan didn't realize. At the bloodbath, when Grey ran in the opposite direction. The young boy didn't see that as an act of abandonment. He saw it as an act of confusion.
And when they did find him, Kalara kept the knowledge to herself. Maybe she thought he wouldn't survive. Or figured no one would believe her.
How is he going to find out which one it is?
How is he going to pull away now?
He doesn't ask any more questions, and Devin doesn't provide any further details.
The morning turns to afternoon and the trio returns. Ettan notices Grey's awake first, and he rushes to his friend.
"Oh you're alive!" he says, instinctively going in for a hug. Devin puts his hand between the two. Ettan apologizes when he realizes why.
"I am alive," Grey says to Ettan, although his eyes are locked on his district partner. To her credit, she looks like she always has. Confident, indifferent, and not trying to manipulate the injured Grey.
Grey still doesn't think that will dissuade her from bringing it up in the future. His guard will still be up, just as hers is.
"How are you feeling?" she asks. He instinctively shrugs and immediately stops when the pain starts back up.
"It hurts. I'll survive," he says. Kalara doesn't respond. He doesn't expect her to. They have too much to say to each other. And they're both smart enough not to bring it up in front of their allies.
Luckily, the trio managed to find some food on their scavenging, so their meal that afternoon is somewhat filling. At least, it is for Grey, who Ettan insists eats more than his fair share.
Grey has never relied on anyone to take care of him before. There's only ever been himself, surrounded by a world of selfishness. It's only been him that kept the Thornton family floating after his father died. He wore the weight of the world so no one else had to. He thought it would make him stronger. But he's never felt so weak.
He hates this, with every fiber of his being. How miserable he must look to sponsors. To his own family.
But what choice does he have for anything different? At least he hasn't had to face Kalara yet. She could kill him in a second, anyone could really. And they would. If they found out what he said.
The next two days are slow for Grey. He still can't do much of anything in his state, but by the end of day five he's able to stand up and walk around without wanting to die, so there's that.
In those few days, he learns a lot from his friends. Ettan's the youngest of five, and he's much younger than all of his siblings. He has a great relationship with his older sister and her kids, who see him as a cousin instead of an uncle. He learns that in complete contrast to that is Keeva, who is the oldest of her family of six. Her youngest siblings are a pair of twins that had a hard entrance into this world. While her mother was recovering, she had to find work for herself.
Devin had a younger sister he had to say goodbye to only a few years ago. An illness they couldn't afford to treat, he explains. How ironic that if he wins this thing he could have saved her. Too little too late.
Kalara doesn't reveal much Grey didn't already know. She grew up as an only child. She wasn't too close with either of her parents, who didn't know what to do with her sharp attitude. But she found comfort with her grandmother. She confirms Grey's assumptions that Zara had prepared her, at least a bit, prior to her reaping.
And Grey's story is the tamest of them all. His father's death. Supporting his siblings. He leaves out details of his cemetery work. It doesn't feel right to share that with people who won't live to remember it in a few days' time.
Not that any of them aren't capable of winning. It's just that Grey can't think about anyone but himself coming out victorious.
At the end of the fifth day, another cannon fires. And that night, it confirms the death of the girl from Two.
Half of the Careers remain. Both from One, the boy from Four, and the five of them. That leaves one person alone.
And that means Grey's alliance is going to come to an inevitable end soon enough.
What would serve him better? Abandoning them now? Letting fate run its course? Taking them out when they least expect it? He doesn't think he'd have a problem killing Kalara, especially if she was taken off guard. But anytime he looks at Ettan…how is he supposed to break his innocence like that? Who would support a tribute who did that to a fourteen-year-old kid?
How far will Grey's morality take him?
Day six comes and Grey is too antsy to sit around and rest anymore. He asks to be the one to go out and scavenge. No one likes that idea.
They go back and forth for a bit before Kalara speaks up.
"It might be a good idea to relocate anyway," she suggests. And since no one can suggest anything better, that's what they go with.
Kalara leads the way, hoping they can find an area that hasn't been drained of supplies. Keeva takes the back, and the boys stay in between. Grey tries to ignore the fact he's constantly pushed into the center of their little group, effectively forming a human shield around him.
In a game of life and death, these idiots have placed Grey's life above their own. What will happen first? Will they try to kill him while his back is turned, or will he take them out when they're sleeping? He cannot be the only one with these thoughts.
What kind of person would that make him?
A brush with death has not set Grey up for success. All because he chose to abandon his alliance. Because of Kalara's actions.
Why can't Grey take hold of his own fucking life?
They traverse through the town. There are many houses that resemble the one they camped out by. They skip searching the ones they've already searched and head closer to the large castle.
"What's in the other direction?" Grey asks, knowing the castle is likely where the last of the Careers have to be. With the largest river running right next to it, it would only make sense.
"Just a graveyard and a run-down mausoleum. It was creepy. Ettan thought he heard an animal rustling around that way the last time we went over there," Keeva explains.
A graveyard. Cute. Grey can't help but enjoy the irony of it all. He remembers Ettan was pointing at something behind Grey during the initial countdown. He wonders if that's where he wanted them all to go.
When they get closer to the castle, the group takes some time to search through the houses their past patrols hadn't reached. As they search, they find evidence that many of these homes were used as hideouts for other tributes. Unmade beds, empty cans, a few drops of blood. They take what they can, but admittedly it's not a lot. And they're low on food and water.
"Let's take shelter near the river. At least we'll have a water source," Keeva suggests, and no one argues differently.
And they do so without trouble.
"It's too quiet," Keeva says as they settle by the water.
We are over half the remaining tributes, is what Grey wants to say, but he knows better.
They put enough distance between themselves and the fortress, yet not too close to the bridge that connects to another section of the arena. A more mountainous section that no one in the group has any desire to traverse.
Grey is glad they settled when they did. He severely underestimated his injuries, and now he's suffering the consequences.
But he'd never admit it.
They're hesitant to start a fire, but as their search for food was unsuccessful, they all concur that they need to at least boil some of the river water to keep their strength up.
Everyone's exhausted, but Devin is the one to offer to stay watch. And out of everyone here, Grey trusts him the most.
Despite this, his sleep is restless and he only sleeps for a few hours before his injuries, or his anxieties wake him. So he joins Devin for watch, but the boy doesn't seem to notice right away. Grey almost breaks him out of his trance but decides against it.
Wherever his mind is on must be more peaceful than this arena.
When Devin does eventually notice Grey, he looks a bit embarrassed.
"Sorry. I was thinking," he says. Grey doesn't need an apology. But his curiosity is piqued.
"What about?" he has to ask.
"Nothing. Everything. You know?" Devin answers. Despite the vagueness of it all, Grey does know. He frequently feels that way.
Unfortunately, Grey does know. And his silence is telling.
"I know you're trying to leave. I don't blame you, really." Devin takes Grey off guard, which just amuses the boy. "I also know that you didn't want to be found. I just can't figure out why that is," he continues. Grey glances behind him.
"They're all asleep." Devin drops his voice a bit. And all Grey can do is sigh.
"I was angry. After the interviews. I sort of lost my mind." he recalls. "Our one mentor has her priority. I reacted as well as you would think."
"I wouldn't envy that. Kalara seemed to be relieved when the Games started. Finally away from her, I guess." His words surprise Grey.
"She was overbearing?" he asks. Immediately, memories populate his mind. The memory of their last conversation after the interviews. Her face, the way she looked at him. He couldn't see it at the time, but now it's as bright as the days back in Twelve.
She was embarrassed. She felt bad.
It doesn't make sense to Grey. She had everything set her up for success.
Except that the success Zara saw looked different than what Kalara saw. That's the only explanation Grey could come to. How meek she became around her grandmother. How Zara's suggestions, and demands really, never came to fruition.
Every choice Kalara made was a direct separation from her grandmother. Including joining Grey's alliance.
And he too was blinded by Zara's abrasive personality to see the truth.
"Devin..." Grey's words have never been so scattered.
"Look," he says, interrupting wherever his train of thought would have taken him. Grey looks in that direction, and his heart jumps.
The last of the Careers fleeing from the fortress. He wakes the allies behind him and prepares his weaponry.
Yet Grey notices something off about the ascending group.
"They're not running at us. They're running away from something," Grey says.
"From what?" Keeva asks.
"It doesn't matter. Let's go!" Kalara says with panic in her voice.
The group grabs what they can and flees back into town. For a while, Grey has no idea what could be causing the tributes to flee. The Careers of all, who are most prepared.
But he hears the guttural roar of presumably a mutt and he loses any desire to find out.
They make it about halfway back to the fountain Cornucopia while the roars get louder and more aggressive. The ground just begins to tremble under the group's feet. And Ettan makes the mistake of turning to look.
The young boy freezes in place and Grey slides to a halt to grab a hold of him. Turning around, he too freezes.
The creatures that run towards the group stands on four legs, towering about eight feet in the air. It can't be shorter than twelve feet. Its face and body resemble a bear, but since when does a bear have fangs long enough to fall past its mouth? Since when do bears have claws no shorter than a foot long?
And the blood. There's so much blood on its muzzle. In one of its claws. A piece of fabric hangs from its left claw.
Grey snaps out of it and yanks Ettan back into action and they start running again, lagging behind the rest of the group. The bear mutt roars, and in an earth-quaking leap, lands in front of everyone.
It raises its paw and sweeps it across the street. Everyone dodges except Keeva, who gets knocked into the house closest to her.
"Keeva!" Ettan yells, and before Grey can do anything, he runs to her side on the other side of the main road.
The bear walks forward and lunges its head to try to take a bite at Grey. Grey dives behind another house, his injured arm taking the brunt of the impact. His face burns from contact with the stone, but adrenaline keeps him moving.
"Run!" Devin yells, pulling Grey up to his feet and dragging him through the houses. Grey watches as Ettan and Keeva do the same in the opposite direction. He lost sight of Kalara, but a cannon hasn't fired, so he can only assume she's okay.
The bear continues to wreak havoc on the houses nearby as Grey and Devin put some distance between the chaos. They run and run until the ground stops shaking.
"I think…we're safe," Devin says.
"Great," Grey says, collapsing against one of the farmhouses. His entire body aches, blood drips from multiple wounds, and he's exhausted.
He's so exhausted that he doesn't see the threat advancing towards them until the sword has skewered Devin's stomach. And just like that, Grey is back up to his feet with a knife drawn. The boy from Four pulls the sword out, and Devin collapses into Grey's arm.
Grey has to carefully set the injured boy down, and in the process, his arm gets sliced by the Career's sword.
"You killed Tara," the boy says. Grey's mind doesn't register the name. He can't register anything but getting out of this thing alive.
He takes the knife and clanks it against the sword. He swipes his dominant arm, yet despite breaking his skin the Career hardly flinches.
Instead, he retaliates and Grey once again has to step back to avoid a strike. He glances down at Devin- he's alive but barely moving.
What do I do what do I do- Grey's mind can't settle on anything good. He can only defend. And who knows how long it will take the trained boy fueled by vengeance to overtake him.
Yet the boy has already written Devin off as dead, and when his back is facing the injured boy is when he makes his move. A knife to the calf, not fatal, but painful enough for him to fall to a knee.
It takes Grey no effort to slide the blade into his neck. The cannon fires instantly.
Grey pulls the weapon out, then rushes over to his dying friend. His skin is pale, his clothes are drenched in blood.
There's no saving him, and they both know it.
"It was an honor getting to know you, Grey Thornton," Devin's voice is soft. It's weak.
Grey doesn't realize the tears start until they start falling onto Devin's wound.
"I'm sorry," is all he can say. Because he is, he's the reason the boy from Four chased after them. Because he killed his district partner. All because he decided to try and go at this fight alone.
It almost killed him once. And now it's killed someone he cares about.
"Tell me a story," he asks. His eyes shut, but his breathing is still present.
Grey is a man of stories. He's written so many. But he's too weak, too sad to recall any of the ones he wrote back home. So he has to improvise.
"There was a boy, born to two loving parents. He was the first of their children. And…and they loved him so much they couldn't imagine life without him. And he wanted a sibling. So they had a second child. A daughter. Her name was…"
"Aisling," Devin says. "Her name was Aisling."
"Her name was Aisling. Her brother loved her. He did everything with her. He taught her how to walk. And swim. And how to write…" Grey doesn't even know the truth behind his own statements. But Devin isn't stopping him.
"She looked just like me. That's what…our parents said. We could have been twins," Devin says. Tears start falling from his eyes. Or maybe they were always there.
Grey holds his hand. He closes his eyes to stop the tears, but that only makes them flow faster.
"I talked about her. Whenever I could. I wanted everyone to know about her. And now…all of Panem knows," he says.
"I understand. I…did the same. For…my father. And for the dead in Twelve," Grey says. He realizes he had never admitted this to anyone. And now all of Panem knows.
"I wish…I could read them," Devin says.
"I'm sorry," Grey chokes on his own sobs. Devin squeezes his hand.
"Don't be. Just promise you'll finish our story. You can do it after you finish your dad's," Devin says.
"I promise," Grey says.
He's been making promises for others for as long as he can remember. He promised to help bring in income, so his siblings wouldn't have to. He promised his mother he wouldn't overwork himself. But this promise might be the most important one he's ever made.
And he can break it so easily. One wrong move and he'll leave not one, but three stories left untold. His father's. Devin's, and his sister's.
The cannon fires and Grey has no strength to pull away. He doesn't know how long he's here. It could have been a minute or an hour. His knees ache by the time he pulls away, but his tears haven't dried.
He collects the supplies he can. The body of the Career is long gone, but his sword remains. So Grey takes it, along with Devin's knife.
He would want Grey to take everything he could.
But he doesn't know where to go from here. He could head back to where they came from, but the thought of finding the mutt again terrifies him. So he wanders around until he finds an empty house.
He takes shelter there for the evening. He watches the anthem play from the window. Devin Calloway's face shines bright in the sky.
And as it fades away, Grey has never felt emptier.
The cannon firing makes Grey jolt awake.
Kalara. Keeva. Ettan. The odds of it being one of them is high. And with that death, only five tributes remain. Four people stand in the way between Grey and victory.
Between him and his stories.
He's too mentally exhausted to mourn whoever the cannon belonged to. He can't guarantee it will stay like that, but until the night comes, he has to keep moving forward. He has to keep his guard up.
Assume the worst. Maybe they're hunting me right now.
Grey eats the last of his food and decides his best course of action is to stay put. He's fucked up enough - his shoulder has never fully recovered from his injury on the first day. It feels like every scrape was reopened yesterday during the mutt chase and the Career attack.
It dawns on him that the last time he was alone in a house he nearly lost his life. He barricades the door with a wooden table. It won't stop the door, but it will alert him if anyone tries to enter.
And then he just waits. Sword in hand, thoughts all over the place and nowhere at all.
Morning turns to day before something happens. He's glad he rigged the door because he definitely dozed until the door opening knocked the wood down. He springs into action, sword prepared to kill.
He doesn't know if it was his injuries or his grogginess from his accidental nap, but he doesn't strike before she can speak.
"Grey!" His name coming out of her mouth stops him from moving any further, and he's once again face-to-face with Kalara Volkan.
Except the Kalara standing in front of him isn't the same as the Kalara he saw last. She's pale and limping. What used to be a white cloth has been dyed red and is wrapped around her arm.
"What…happened?" he asks, lowering his defenses. He hopes her injuries are as severe as they look and any attempt at a betrayal would be futile.
"You saw the bear," she says, stumbling into the room. Grey steadies her and helps her to the edge of the cot. Grey can see her injuries are more severe than he initially thought.
"The cannon?" he asks, hoping she would know. A shake of her head disappoints him.
"I haven't seen anyone since we separated. I'm sorry." Her tone tells Grey she's not talking about whoever died today. She saw the sky last night.
Grey almost instinctively responds that it's okay. But it's not okay, so he doesn't. It's not okay that year by year twenty-four lives are ruined. It's not okay that the Calloway family never had a chance. Not with Aisling's sickness, not with Devin's participation in the Games.
Yet it'll keep happening. There's a family with a sick child right now. There's a family with a child who will be reaped. Who will die at the hands of the Careers. They just aren't aware of it yet.
He helps Kalara get comfortable and allows her to rest as he stays watch. He resets his wooden barricade, then sits at the kitchen table.
She talks in her sleep, Grey thinks to himself. Her sleep is not restful, she's shaking and sweating and tossing and turning every few minutes.
And when she does finally wake up again, she doesn't look any better. She can only mask the pain for so long as she sits up.
"Let me see," Grey says. She's hesitant, but she lets him unwrap the bandage around her arm
Immediately, he can tell it's worse than he thought. He remembers infections from his apothecary training, and this is the worst he's ever seen. The skin is bright red, and her veins run black. The slash looks like it could only have been from the bear.
What horrible diseases or substances could the Gamemakers have implemented into the mutts' claws?
"Kalara.." he begins. There's no point in lying to her.
"I know. Fuck," she groans.
"I…can….um….I…" Grey's mind wrestles with his options. Medicine would be ideal, but not feasible at this moment. Amputation would stop it from spreading, but they don't have pain medicine or a way to stop the bleeding and she'd just bleed out and die but she's going to die anyway and there's nothing Grey can do-
"Just. Let me lay back down," Kalara says. He doesn't know how she's so calm when she's closer to death every second.
How ironic the whole thing is. How many sponsors put money on Kalara Volkan for her to be dying in front of her district partner that no one expected to survive past the bloodbath.
Why hasn't anyone sent them medicine? There's certainly someone out there who could afford it.
Zara would pay for it herself.
"She's pissed, I bet," she says.
"Who?" Grey asks.
"Zara. She's pissed that I'm going to die," she says.
"Oh." It makes sense. Their mentor never pretended her focus was anywhere but on Kalara.
"It wasn't her idea, you know," Kalara whispers.
"What?"
"To join this alliance. I didn't tell her either. That's…what we were arguing about after the interviews." Grey remembers that moment. And hearing her admit that to him throws everything he thought he knew about Kalara Volkan out the window.
"Why?" is all he can muster to ask.
"Because she didn't want me to. Because my first alliance she supported was doomed. Because…I wanted to. I guess." Her voice quivers off quietly and she turns her face away from him.
He doesn't know what to say, so he doesn't say anything. He just visualizes every moment he witnessed Kalara and her grandmother talking. Every moment he was focused on himself, on their lack of attention towards him.
Kalara was paying attention. She would look over at him, a look of pity and regret. Her words to her grandmother weren't as agreeable as he assumed.
It confirms everything Devin told him all those nights ago.
Kalara Volkan was raised with Zara Volkan monitoring her every move. And Grey couldn't care to see it.
"I'm sorry I was unpleasant. Zara…instructed me to not get close to anyone. I was mean and I pushed you away. I…" Kalara's words drift off and Grey shakes his head. He doesn't need her to apologize. He already knows.
"I'm sorry," he says. He's sorry for this position she's been put into. He's sorry he can't do anything to save her. He's sorry she's going to die.
"It doesn't matter now," she says, not maliciously or with anger. Just factually.
She's going to die. And I can't stop it.
It's all he can do to be with her. It's all he can do to watch her suffer and shiver and shake and mumble to herself. Her arm glows red, the infection spreads quickly. He gives her water and food and he cools her and cleans her wound but he's not doing enough because nothing is enough and she'll die and he'll live.
He's spent so much time reviving those who have passed with his stories. But he can't stop it from happening in front of his face.
Hours pass. A day, probably. Grey hasn't slept. A cannon hasn't fired either. Not since the last one. It belonged to Keeva. He saw her face in the sky that evening.
She's dead, and Ettan is alone, and soon Grey will be alone because Kalara is dying.
"Kill me," she says. Her arm reaches for Grey, who dozed off because he's so drained, and it takes what little strength he has to not react viscerally. Her arm is black, her face is pale. Her pupils are dilated, and what used to be the whites of her eyes are red. Every breath sounds painful.
"Kalara…" He can't. He can't kill her. He can't end her life. She's dying, and he's letting her, yet he can't.
"Please. I can't….I can't…" Her words fall into a series of coughs and with it, some blood.
He can't imagine her pain. Her desperation.
Is this what his father went through? Is this what he'll go through?
No, Grey Thornton made a promise. He cannot afford to die.
This is his only option. To give her what she wants. He can do that one thing for her, can't he?
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he mutters as his fingers wrap around her own. He grips his knife. He closes his eyes. Tears fall around him.
"Thank you…" she whispers through his sobs.
Yet even after the cannon fires, the tears don't stop falling.