July 1st, 99 ADD
I arrived home yesterday. Aurelia accompanied me to the Victor's Village, where Mother and Asaki were waiting for me. I let Aurelia do most of the talking while I got settled in my new house. Most of my things had already been brought over while I was recovering, thankfully- including Rhapsody- but I had some things to unpack. My bedroom is nice. I have my own bathroom, and I threw the medical bag in there for now. Most of the unpacking was just rearranging what had already been delivered. Honestly, I'm mostly relieved that Asaki remembered to feed Rhapsody. She's clearly in need of more attention, though, because she keeps following me around the house. She's also claimed her spot on the couch. Cats.
When I went back downstairs, I heard Aurelia talking to Mother, and I stopped to listen for a minute. Aurelia was telling her that she had some concerns about me. She told her about some of our conversation on the train, when she kept asking me about Amar and Hideo until I told her to stop. Mother didn't seem concerned. When I eventually walked back in, they changed the subject to the Capitol. Apparently, Aurelia met several of Mother's old acquaintances while she was there. They made plans for the four of us- myself, Aurelia, Mother, and Asaki- to have dinner together tomorrow night. Aurelia said goodbye to us, and then she left. I spoke to Mother for a few minutes, and then she and Asaki left as well.
I've been alone ever since. Thankfully. I spent a while wandering the house, trying to figure out where everything is. Someone stocked my refrigerator, which I do appreciate. I'll admit it's nice to have my own space, instead of living in Mother and Asaki's house.
I think I believed Mother would be happier to see me than she was. She did congratulate me, and make a few comments about my time in the arena, but that was it. I suppose we'll discuss it more at dinner tomorrow night. But Aurelia's been significantly more concerned about my well-being. I do find it annoying, but I guess Aurelia understands more about the Games than Mother does. If nothing else, she pretends to care. I think having a stable Victor is preferable for the Academy. Anything else would threaten her job.
I think I'll go to bed soon. I tried to last night, but I kept thinking about Hideo and Amar. Their memories won't leave me alone. I don't understand why I was able to forget so much, but not them. I want to let them go, but I can't stop wanting them to come back, even though I know they're better off without me. They should've stayed away from me in the first place. Look at what I did to them. And I'm better off without them. Alone. Things are better this way.
K.A.