Marinette tried to stifle a yawn as she drove her car home. It had been a busy day of meetings and appointments. The final touches were being added to the inaugural gala fashion fundraiser for the Emma Agreste Foundation and Marinette wanted to make sure everything ran perfectly. She couldn't have been happier with all of the work that everyone at Agreste Fashion had put into the event, and she couldn't have done it without the help of Félix and Nathalie, and of course Adrien. The text on her phone though had made her drop everything and race to the Agreste Estate.
Félix- He's having one of those episodes again. Come to the old place as quickly as you can before he does something stupid. Nathalie and I can't talk any sense with him.
She cursed herself for staying at work longer than she had planned too, but her doctor's appointment earlier that day had run longer than she had planned. Adrien of course had always been fully supportive of his wife's career, preferring to remain in the background and allowing her to shine. He was happiest when he was away from the spotlight where he could just be a husband and a father, and not feel as though he was less than human. Marinette probably should have listened to Félix though when he suggested selling the old mansion. Only Nathalie lived there now and it was more of a business HQ than a home, but still the memories linger and sometimes could trigger.
The last few years had been hard for Adrien. After he learnt the truth about his father being Monarch and his own creation, he folded in on himself, trying to reconcile in his mind what had happened and who he was. Marinette had feared he would be angry at her, blame her even for what had happened after they revealed their identities, but instead he had clung onto her like a lifeline. His lady, the love of his life, the one person he could hold on to. The person who loved him for the person he was and not the name or the fame. The person who loved him despite what he was, or how he was brought into the world. The one thing in his life that was real. They were inseparable on both sides of the masks and they loved like every night might be their last.
It wasn't any wonder that Emma had been an 'accident'. A beautiful, wonderful, life changing accident. They had barely turned twenty when those two glorious lines on a pregnancy test had turned pink. Without a moment of hesitation, Adrien had grabbed his mother's diamond ring out of his safe, dropped to one knee and proposed right there in the middle of their lounge room. When Emma was born, she quickly became his whole world.
Adrien had never wanted to be involved in the company. Rebranded as Agreste Fashion, it was Marinette's now and with the help of Nathalie and his cousin Félix, Agreste Fashion worked its way from pariah of the fashion world to the toast of Paris. While Adrien encouraged Marinette to chase her dream, he lived out his dream as a stay at home Dad caring for Emma.
Emma was everything to Adrien. Many a happy day he and his daughter spent at Tom and Sabine's bakery, making cookies to then take to the park or to sit by the Seine. Tom would joke about how much of a mini me Emma was of her Dad with her blonde pigtails and bright green eyes full of mischief and delight. She was the light of everyone's eyes, five years old and full of life.
It was natural that when something began to change, Adrien was the first to notice. His usually bright eyed girl became tired quickly and was more lethargic. Then came the headaches and the infections that she couldn't seem to shake. Soon a fever that wouldn't break led to a late night dash to the emergency department and eventually to a diagnosis no parent wants to hear. Cancer. Inoperable. Terminal.
Adrien was beside himself. He spared no expense to have Emma treated by the best doctors in Europe, but in the end nothing could be done except to hold her and make her last months as comfortable as possible. Emma had lived every day of her five years to their fullest, her only sadness being that she didn't have a baby brother or sister. It hadn't been for lack of trying on her parents' part, but Marinette's secondary infertility was unexplained.
Briefly at a particularly low point, Marinette almost considered using the Peacock miraculous herself, but she quickly shelved that idea. The doctors told her that technically there was no reason why they couldn't get pregnant, it just wasn't happening. "It will happen when you're not trying." Everyone would say. But that hardly made either Adrien or Marinette feel any better and in the end time ran out.
It was a late autumn afternoon when they buried Emma, only days after her sixth birthday, beside her grandmother Emilie. It was Emma's favourite season. As Marinette watched the burnt orange leaves fall over her small, white coffin, she could see in her mind her daughter's smile - Adrien's smile, as they would play in the leaves in the park. Marinette would no longer hear her daughter laugh as she stood on her father's toes to dance around the kitchen, or hear her playing scales as she learnt the piano. Emma truly had been their little miracle, and her loss had caused a hole in their hearts wider than they had ever thought possible.
As Marinette made her way through the heavy late afternoon traffic she wiped a tear from her eyes. She had managed her grief by distracting herself with work, but it had been harder for Adrien. For over a year he hardly left the house except to help out her parents at the bakery. Tom and Sabine would keep him busy, but they also worried about him. He didn't laugh like he used to, or pun, or make jokes with his father-in-law. He was turning into a shell of the man they all knew and it had an eerie similarity to someone else they had once known.
Compounding the issue, Su-Han had decided that Marinette and Adrien needed to hand their Miraculous to a new pair of holders in the weeks before Emma passed. It was devistating for them to let go of the companions they'd had for over 10 years now, but they both knew that it would be better to train new holders without the danger so they wouldn't be thrown into the deep end like they had been. Plagg had protested bitterly. He had been very close to Emma but Marinette felt that could have been part of the reason Su-Han wanted to choose new holders now, rather than later.
While Marinette remained Guardian, Luka was put in charge of training the new holders. With Plagg gone, Adrien had begun spending more time with Nooroo. Marinette had her reservations, preferring if Adrien had chosen a different companion, but she also hoped maybe Nooroo might be able to help Adrien find some closure over the actions his father had taken so he wouldn't be tempted to make the same mistakes.
The Emma Agreste Foundation had been Felix's idea, a way of getting Adrien out of his own grief by doing something that would help others. Adrien had thrown his whole heart into it, working alongside Félix and Nathalie to organise the fundraiser fashion gala. For the last six months Marinette had begun to see the old Adrien resurface once again.
Three months ago they had traveled, just the two of them, to the Monte Carlo fashion week to round up sponsors for the gala. Adrien had found his mojo, talking up corporations and charming their wallets open. He'd even started to rekindle his love for Marinette.
Since Emma's death they had begun to drift apart. It wasn't obvious at first, but soon they had noticed that they had slipped into something more like roommates that happened to share a bed, rather than husband and wife.
Perhaps it was being away from Paris for a while, but it felt like old times again - eating dinner under the stars, dancing in the moonlight in their hotel apartment and making love in a way they hadn't in a long time. Soft loving touches and breathy sighs, it was her Chaton, attentive and adoring, worshiping her in only the way he knew how. She had missed this, she had missed them like this. By the time they came back to Paris they had been rejuvenated and the healing had begun so it made this new lapse of his harder to understand.
Pulling up into the driveway, Marinette saw Félix's silver Bentley still parked out the front. She took a deep breath as she got out of the car and made her way into Gabriel's old study. Nathalie had redecorated the room into her own personal space, the only thing remaining from the old room was the Klimt inspired portrait of Emilie. Marinette found Nathalie sitting at her desk while Félix was on the settee, sipping on a cup of tea.
"Where is he?" Marinette asked, forgoing the idle chit chat. This was family after all and judging by the exhausted looks on their faces they had already tried talking to him.
"Down stairs in Gabriel's old lair." Félix replied. "He has Nooroo with him."
Marinette let out a long breath. He had done this once before in the days after Emma had died. The new Ladybug and Chat Noir had only had their Miraculous a few weeks then and he was hell bent on getting them and making the wish. It had taken everything Marinette and Félix had to talk him down from making an akuma then.
"What happened?" Marinette asked. Nathalie lifted her head from her computer, pushing her glasses back up the bridge of her nose.
"He had dropped by the Agreste office earlier and a reporter apparently bailed him up asking questions about the second anniversary of Emma's death and if he would like to comment on why you had attended a fertility doctor alone today. I think he had made his own conclusions from that."
Marinette closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead with her hand. She had tried so hard to be discreet so as to not draw attention. The last thing she wanted was to worry Adrien more than he had been. There had already been too much speculation in the press about why they hadn't had any more children, not that it was anyone else's business, but he had been blaming himself because of what he was. Every loss brought with it renewed pain.
"I need to go to him." Marinette said, but Félix reached out and grabbed her arm.
"Do you want me to come with you? He's… acting a little unpredictable." Félix offered. Marinette shook her head.
"Adrien would never hurt me, Félix. I know him and I can get through to him. It would probably be best if I go down alone this time."
Félix then took off the Peacock Miraculous, placing it in Marinette's hand.
"Take Duusu with you just in case. I'll get him back from you tomorrow, when everything is settled down."
"Do you really think that is necessary?"
"It would make us both feel a lot better if you did."
Marinette looked down at the Miraculous in her hand. A Miraculous that had brought Adrien into the world. A Miraculous that had created Kagami and Félix but also a Miraculous that took the life of Emilie Agretse, Colt Fathom and almost Nathalie. A reminder of the delicate balance the power of the Miraculous held. She closed her hand around the pin and looked at her cousin-in-law. "You go on home to Kagami and the boys. I'll call you later, alright."
Félix gave Marinette a tight hug before taking his leave. Nathalie stood up and walked with Marinette over to Emilie's portrait. "I feel I failed him, you know." Nathalie suddenly said, her eyes fixed on the portrait. "When Emilie was gone, I didn't do what I should have done for Adrien. I allowed myself to be dragged down the rabbit hole with Gabriel until it was almost too late - but by then the damage had already been done." Nathalie turned her head to the younger woman, her eyes pleading. "We might have lost Adrien too if it hadn't been for you. Don't let him fall into that same trap of despair. We both know the consequences of that."
Marinette gave Nathalie a determined nod and the assistant pressed the concealed buttons in the portrait to send her down to the basement. Duusu floated next to her as they peered into the dim light. At first it seemed as though no one was there but then Marinette saw a movement in the shadows. Standing in front of the great window was a man in a purple suit with a long cane. It felt like dejavu, except for the golden blond hair. White butterflies rose up and fluttered all around and he held out his hand so one could land in it. He held the butterfly closer to his face, admiring it. Hovering his other hand over the butterfly, but he hesitated. His heart and mind were clearly in conflict.
At his heart, Adrien was a good person. Marinette knew that. Brave and loyal to a fault, it was those qualities that made him the perfect Chat Noir. He understood the power of the Miraculous of destruction, but he knew when and how to apply it justly. Beneath that though, there was a destructive streak that Adrien consciously fought against. Hot headed and impulsive, Marinette often wondered if it was a side effect of the peacock Miraculous having been used for selfish reasons. She had seen the same in the way Félix could be secretive and underhanded and in the way Kagami could be rebellious and self centered. Was it part of their own inner demons from the childhoods they had lived?
In Adrien it had manifested into something terrifying behind blue eyes and a white suit that even now still haunted her nightmares. Waking in a cold sweat, it was hard to believe her sweet, loving husband had destroyed the world for love. She didn't want to find out what he could be like corrupted behind a purple mask like his father had been.
Marinette's eyes met Duusu's, the Kwami giving Marinette a small nod. She whispered "spread my feathers" and took on a lavender hue in a floor length gown.
Slowly Marinette crossed the bridge, her footsteps echoing through the chamber. Adrien would have known she was there, but he didn't turn around until she had come to a stop a few steps away from him. Letting the butterfly in his hand flutter away, Adrien turned his eyes over his shoulder, his face breaking into a smirk when he saw her.
"Beautiful as always my dear." He said, turning fully to face her. He took her hand in his and bowed low, kissing the back of it. It was a gesture he made a thousand times, but never had it felt this cold. "Did you have to twist Felix's arm for that Miraculous?"
Marinette shook her head slowly from side to side, removing her hand from his. "He's worried about you. So is Nathalie. You're not acting like yourself and they thought I should be prepared."
"Prepared?" Adrien scoffed, almost amused. "Don't tell me you came to fight me m'lady. We always did enjoy sparring with a different Miraculous from time to time, but I'm not sure we ever did with these ones." He placed his cane behind his neck and hung his hands over it.
Marinette made no move for the fan tucked at her side. "Do you think that's what I would want? Look at you, Adrien. Why are you doing this?"
Adrien took a step closer to her, lowering his cane back to his side. "You know why. I'm doing this for you… for us. One wish m'lady and we could have our family back. We can have Emma back."
Marinette was fighting back tears in her eyes. "Adrien, you know Ladybug and Chat Noir are only children. They're not much older than we were."
His eyes hardened. "Then perhaps it's time they had some real world experience." He said vehemently. "Master Fu didn't give us the courtesy of practice time if you remember. Do you think this Chat Noir will be willing to die for his lady the same way I did?"
Marinette closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She needed to stay calm. "Master Fu made mistakes. That doesn't mean we should repeat them. You know this isn't right, Adrien. This isn't you."
"Are you so sure? Maybe this is who I was really meant to be." He was being flippant, but there was an undertone that sent a shiver down her spine.
"So, you will torment our new holders by akumatizing the innocent people of Paris?"
"Nonone else needs to be akumatised." He replied coldly. "Only me. I won't hurt them."
"You can't guarantee that." Marinette glared at him. "You are not your father."
Adrien recoiled a little at that. She could see his eyes glistening with emotion despite his gritted teeth. "I will never be like Gabriel." He seethed. "That is why I am doing this. He failed as a father and I will not be making that same mistake."
"Chaton…" She whispered, turning her head from him to conceal her tears. Something in hearing her pet name for him stirred something in Adrien's heart, but he was fighting against it. He suddenly dropped his cane and grabbed her shoulders, shaking her slightly.
"I made you a promise, Marinette. That I would always love and protect my family and I intend to keep that promise. Can't you see that?" He was becoming more desperate, spiraling closer to the edge.
"You did Adrien." She pleaded, forcing her eyes to meet his. "You did everything you could. You were the most amazing father that any child would have been proud to have had. You gave Emma everything she ever wanted and she loved you so much. You gave that little girl your whole heart."
The cracks in his facade began to appear and his voice broke. "But I couldn't save her, Marinette. I couldn't save her."
"No one could have." Marinette said softly, a tear escaping down her own cheek. "Emma knew how much she was loved. She wouldn't want this. You know that to use the wish a terrible price has to be paid."
Adrien let go of her shoulders and took a step back from her. "Why? My father used it, didn't he?"
"He did the only noble thing he could do. He gave his life to spend eternity with your mother in the afterlife in exchange to save Nathalie. A life for a life Adrien. Is that what you want to do? You want to take a life to give back Emma hers?"
Adrien fixed his eyes on the peacock Miraculous she was wearing. "Is that why you came to confront me transformed? So you could snap me out of existence if I go rogue? Why don't you Marinette? You could create the perfect Adrien you thought I was in Collége."
He regretted the words the moment they left his mouth at the hurt look in her eyes. "You really think that of me? I let Félix be the keeper of this Miraculous to protect the sentibeings. You are you because of who you are and the life you have lived. Flaws and all, I always loved you Adrien. You might not be perfect, but you were always my Kitty. I never wanted anyone else, and I don't now. I just want my husband and partner back."
Adrien looked down at his hand, touching his wedding ring under his gloves. One half of his amok, the other securely on her finger where he put it the day they married. "You could just command me to hand over the miraculous to you, you could command me to..."
"No." She said angrily. "I vowed to you the day you put that ring on my finger that I would never abuse that privilege. You must make your own decision, Adrien. If you take the Ladybug and Cat Miraculous and you make the wish, who are you going to exchange in return for Emma? Or were you planning to leave it to fate so you can pretend you hadn't taken a life."
"What… no?" Adrien said confused, taking a step back. "I… I didn't…"
Marinette stepped closer towards him, her eyes never leaving his. "Was it me then? Were you going to exchange me for Emma?"
She could see a look of horror take over his face as he stepped back again, raising his hands in front of him. "No, I could never…"
She kept coming closer fighting with everything she had to hold her composure. Her heart was on the verge of breaking. "Or did you plan to follow your father's footsteps and sacrifice yourself?"
Adrien stopped in his tracks. "But if it brought her back…"
Marinette reached up, holding his face in her hands. Tears were pooling in his eyes as he looked down at her. "Think Adrien, think. What would Emma want? Do you honestly believe she would want to live in a world that you were not in." Her voice was choking up, but she felt she was finally getting through to him. "Do you think I would want to? I love you Adrien. I don't want to lose you. Not like this." She pressed his forehead to her own. "Stay with me, Chaton." She whispered. "Come back to me."
His emerald eyes were searching her blue ones and he began to crumble. Tears gave way to sobs and he slid down to his knees, still holding onto her. Marinette crouched down with him and held his head in her arms as he cried. "I miss her so much." He sobbed, clinging onto her. "It's my fault. It has to be. I'm the monster here. I did something wrong."
Marinette dropped her transformation and ran her fingers through his hair comfortingly. "I miss her too, Adrien, but you are not a monster. You are Adrien, you are my Kitty and partner and you did nothing wrong." She pulled back a little and held both his hands between hers. "Emma was beautiful and amazing because she was your daughter. She was part of both of us and I am so grateful that we had her, no matter how young we were or for how short the time was."
Adrien dropped his transformation and wiped the tears from her cheek, gently stroking her face. What was he thinking taking the Butterfly Miraculous like that. Nooroo tried to warn him that misusing the miraculous would hurt those closest to him. He should have known that from bitter experience, but he did understand now how blinding grief can become. How much you could be willing to give up everything to bring back someone you love. The last thing though he ever wanted to do was hurt Marinette.
"I'm so sorry Bug." He whispered. "I just… I miss her so much." He picked up her hand and kissed the back of it tenderly. "Why didn't you tell me about your appointment? I know you went to see the fertility specialist without me today so…"
Marinette's face softened. "I wasn't trying to keep secrets from you. I know we've had so many disappointments, and more early losses than I care to remember, but that wasn't why I didn't tell you about going today."
She took his hands in hers and held them between them. "I wanted to make sure before I said anything, but this time we have a little bean that has finally stuck."
Adrien looked at her in amazement. "You mean…?"
Marinette smiled through her tears. "You helped make a miracle Kitty. You and I'm sure Emma, our little Guardian Angel looking down on us. We're going to have a baby, our own baby, and I need you by my side to tell this little one what a wonderful big sister they have and to be the father I know you are."
In an instant Adrien swept her up into his arms, crying hard into her shoulder and murmuring "I love you" and "I'm so sorry" as Duusu and Nooroo floated nearby. Marinette finally let her own tears flow, but now they were tears of joy and hope for the future. He was back and this time she was sure he was back to stay.