Chapter 4: Boundries
Summary:
4. Respect your human mate's boundries, but do not forget about your own!
"I do have sort of feeling that this one is going to be a doozy."
"You don't say...?"
"Okay, okay... Eh, let's say for the start: I didn't know there is a word for that. Boundries, I mean, Dear Reader. Raha had to actually sit me down and show me a definition in a dictionary for me to get it. Can you post it here for the clarity, babe?"
"Mhmm, gimme a sec..."
AS PER URBAN DICTONARY (the one that drove the point home, I believe):
Psychobabble for a person's ability to tell himself apart from those around him. "Rigid boundaries" indicate an inability to form close relationships. "No boundaries" indicates a spineless, mindless, ass-kissing lemming.
"Still makes me chuckle."
"Because you're a silly cat, Sen."
"...come on: 'ass-kissing lemming' would make anyone chuckle. But, yeah, going back to my point, I knew the sensation of someone stepping on your boundaries, and with a Miqo'te in general you'll likely recognize it by a warning growl followed by an ass-kicking if you don't back off, but I didn't know humans have a word for that, that's all. And, boy, but sometimes it feels like they do have words for everything..."
"Psychology is a science, love."
"Mhmm, now I know, but let's get on with it...?"
"Go ahead."
Recognizing and learning about Raha's boundaries was probably the most important and not painless process for Senri. Especially since - in hindsight - he had issues in that area of his own.
"Let's call the spade a spade, Sen: when you love someone, you let them step all over you."
"Yeah, that, I guess. But it is also a tad more complicated than that."
Starting, one should understand the 'current' hierarchy ruling the Miqo'te's life - in and out of lairs - and its origins. And - as expected - that once more leads back to the Allagan Clan and Miqo'te beloved deity.
As many humans would be likely aware, Bastet was not only a warrior and protector, but in her softer aspect, the goddess was a patron of love, pleasure, and fertility - and once upon a time, the festivities held to her name were the grandest in the whole of Egypt.
Once Miqo'te established their lairs - seven for Keepers and seven for Seekers - the last one, Allagan, became the center of their race's social rituals and place of worship in the name of their deity.
As the story went, Bast - showing her favor - would not only hold court in Allag's lair but to receive an invitation to attend one of held there celebrations was one of the highest honors, usually meaning that you were one of the lucky bastards considered for a mate of one of her favorites. In the goddess's presence, you were bound to prove yourself worthy of such honor - and pleasure - and to shame yourself was to shame your lair in the eyes of their deity.
For a mere chance to please her, the Seekers and Keepers worked together in unity to make the Allagan lair the grandest of them all, turning the cave system deep in the mountains into the tribute to their goddess' taste: the hallowed halls not unlike the temple they were created to guard.
...and perhaps that was the greatest shame that earned them her scorn: the failure to protect her most precious children.
"Damn... if we assume that all of this is right, then that... slaughter really screwed your people over, hm?"
"Our people, Raha, and yeah, very much so. As far as I know - from my brothers stories - up until then, we were immortal so to be granted the right to a perfect match in Allagan Clan... Well, I think you can imagine that that would be our version of an eternal reward - like humans believe in heaven after death, right...? Thing is, that by nature we're pretty aggressive, babe, and that... perspective reward and honor was something to keep all of the Clans in line. You see what happened when we lost them..."
"IF all of this is true, Sen, because I still have more than an issue with all that... god-talk."
"So... you're fine with shapeshifters and magic, babe... but gods make you uncomfortable? Almost make me look toward introducing you to some of the other creatures that tend to skulk about this world..."
"...the what?"
"Eh, you really have to work on that way of thinking like a human, love. Their tendency to think they are alone and at the peak of the food chain... as cute as it is, is the reason why they were so shocked when faced with shapeshifters... And, I guess, made 'others' wary of letting themselves be known."
"What others you're now talking about...?"
"I don't believe you grew up to that yet, babe, so let's leave it for another day. Can we continue?"
"...okay."
Some believe that even now, their deity resides in created by them temple, still mourning the loss of her beloved children...
"Wait... believe? So it's not like an actual place that you can visit and... I don't know, check?"
"It is a place, Raha... but ever since that betrayal the entrance was sealed shut and no matter what magic you would try to use, there is no opening it - hence some reasoned that Bast does not wish to be disturbed. Ares suggested that perhaps when you do Shift, we can go there and... knock, sort of, to see if the Allagan blood is the key to the temple. He said they already tried that with Damon, but... it was a no-go, at least as he is now."
"I'm not sure... I want to. What is it is true, and she... take offense? At being disturbed, I mean?"
"It's neither here nor there, babe, so relax. If... when you do Shift, we can consider it, that's all. And, who knows? Perhaps, like I said before, you'll receive an invitation for an audience before that...?"
"...nope, I'm not comfortable even thinking about that."
"Wuss."
Losing the Allagan Clan and the favor of their goddess echoed like a ripple throughout all of their lairs - with all the Clans accusing each other of incompetence or worse - involvement - and allowing this atrocity to pass. Allag, being the most delicate and scholarly out of their kind, were their grandest treasure and brought prosperity to their communities and species - and without them and their guidance, or the unity they championed, not only the Seekers and Keepers turned against each other, but nearly every Clan chose to isolate from the others, guarding their lairs and young from the ideas that led to this travesty.
Spending his whole life within the world of their lair, Senri had a very, very poor idea of the outside world and even less... of human customs or culture. As stated, he didn't remember well the rule of their uncle, but even then, it left somewhat of an impression on his young mind.
And - certainly - on his brothers', too.
According to what he heard from them - and the others - considering they were under the constant threat of the... accidents, and he was the most vulnerable for his youth, his brothers focused their efforts on keeping him safe and contained to the extreme, with Hades never taking his eyes off him.
The greatest fear for them back then, he imagined, was the fact that some among their kind - including their uncle - were born with the natural inclination to rule, which most often than not came with the ability to control others with compulsion.
"Ah... like you and Ares can do?"
"Mhmm, and - from what I heard - our father, too. Usually there is at least two or three young born with this... aptitude in each generation, per each lair, from what I heard. Back in the day, according to the stories, those were always a first pick for the leadership, with the idea of the oldest in rule and others as a... backup, so to say. It was seen as Bast's favor to be born as such, especially since most often they - born with this skill, I mean - would be the one's to be invited to attend to the Allagan lair if the goddess wished to issue a decree for each individual Clan."
"Ah... I see. So, I suppose your uncle grew tired of being a backup?"
"Who knows...? Our parents wished to bring about unity between their respective Clans, and our birth proven that their wish... was, perhaps, Bastet's wish as well. She is, among other things, a goddess of fertility, remember. And she created us in the first place, so... stood to reason that without her blessing we wouldn't came to be. And I would imagine that our uncle saw me as the next big threat after Ares, and while he set to discredit my brother as the potential candidate to take over - using the fact that he was a hybrid, and by it unpredictable - apparently I tended to be an incredibly unlucky kit, with the tendency to near-fatal accidents following me about whenever my brothers took their eyes off our nest. And after I was... well, 'convinced' to swallow down poison, Hades put his foot down - so to say - and until Ares came into his power and took over, I was not able to leave our 'nook,' or stray even a step away from him. Thing is... he, opposite to us, was born with a natural immunity to the compulsion, Raha, so I'd imagine he was the best pick to look after me - but it didn't came without a price. While other kits learned to be independent and all, I had to be obedient instead."
"Because straying from Hades's side could be fatal...?"
"Mhmm, that."
Later, as if to make up for that period of his childhood, his brothers downright spoiled him rotten, never able to refuse him anything... as long as it didn't threaten his safety, but as stated... the way he was brought up left an unconscious impression.
Even when he was allowed to, Senri had no inclination to leave their lair, spending his days by attending to his clanmates' needs. Cheerful and easy-going as he was by nature, he gleefully took upon himself the task of attending to the kits, perhaps somewhat making up for the isolation that was forced upon him in his youth. 'Their' nook became his when his brothers moved out, yearning for a tad more privacy, and he would be perfectly happy going on like this... until one day Hades informed him that Ares wouldn't be coming back for a while from his latest trip.
Inside the lair - their, at least - each clanmate had a role to play and tasks to attend to. The leader's word, obviously, was law, but during his absence, a designated person took over, and for their clan, that was Hades. But in the case, if Ares decided not to return - permanently - that role would indiscriminately of his willingness, fell to Senri - due to his gift - so to say he was upset about the news was an understatement!
Thankfully, once he did visit his brother's new lair - and met Damon - Ares assured him that the situation was temporary, as his new mate, learning of their kind's customs and traditions - seemed eager to leave the human world behind and eventually take on the challenge of leading their Clan at Ares's side. And as relieved as he was by that, he very quickly got distracted by a distinctive, spicy scent covering the couch in the human male's apartment... and it went from there.
Spending a few months playing Raha's pet didn't very much improve his knowledge about the outside world, either, if, by it, he did involuntarily experience a tad more of the human culture.
Back in their lair, technology was very scarce and considered a thing unfit for their kind. It wasn't always like that, though. The Elders of their Clan - who served with their wisdom and experience as the teachers and guides for youth - unanimously banned access to human-invented tools when they - the humans - seemed to become obsessed with fighting each other over absurd ideas like race, identity, and sexuality. To say such notions would be beyond harmful for young, impressionable minds - especially in the case of shapeshifters, who could change any of those at will - he later agreed that it was the best course of action. Only when one of them was considered adult enough to reason by themselves, and if they wished to explore the world outside the lair, they'd been given a crash course in all things considered important to know about their 'neighbors.'
Considering his situation was a tad different - and he was supposed to only travel to his brother's new lair and back - Hades only gave him an instruction on how to get there, a phone - and a course on how to use it - and sent him off on what was meant to be a short trip. He ended up staying a few months at Ares's and Damon's apartment at first, while his future brother-in-law was for him... asking his brother to entertain the idea of meeting Senri. When finally discouraged, he headed home... yeah, he had the great idea to find the deliciously-scented male himself and witness if the apparent... hindrance - the so-called 'girlfriend' Raha had at the time - was worthy of his loss.
And... got stuck as his pet instead, seeing as he swiftly got addicted to the male's sweet demeanor, while Raha still refused to meet him in his humanoid form. Not that it was all bad, as he ended up really enjoying his time spent with the male, not to mention the occasional taste...
...not that it served to teach him anything about boundaries, though!
"Aww, love your blushes, babe."
"Just... can't get over how long I believed those... were dreams, that's all. Though, I guess, part of the reason for that was how guilty I felt, thinking that I was... 'dreaming' that way about Ares. It's really ridiculous how similar the two of you look like... Even me and Damon - twins! - aren't that... identical as you two, all I'm saying. And... perhaps i was overall ticked off about the fact that the very... hottest dreams in my life were about a male - as sure as I was that I wasn't gay."
"I still wouldn't call you that, either, babe, considering how much you're enjoying me as female, too..."
"...shut up!"
"Ah... so cute! That's because you do like to be fucked whenever I'm in a male shape, hm?"
"...that's a couch for you tonight, Sen, and this time I'm serious. You know that Damon not only SWORE me to write ALL of this down, but I'm sure that he's going to read it, too, and use whatever ammunition you'll give him to tease the hell out of me! And you did promise to behave."
"Sorry, babe, I just can't resist. You're downright edible when blushing so fiercely... even a night on the couch isn't enough of a detriment, especially when you do tend to... 'sleepwalk' to join me there, anyway."
"...stupid, too sexy cat..."
"What was that...?"
"Nothing! Back to the chapter, Senri."
And, as stated, his first lessons in Raha's boundaries weren't that pleasant, either.
Having a naturally very heightened senses and a very high level of stamina, once thanks to his redhead Senri discovered the world of sexual pleasure, he grew beyond addicted. That, at first, his mate seemed pleased with his aggressive tendencies, and doting led him to grow utterly confused when soon after, his lover would get surprisingly angry whenever he attempted to coddle and pamper him as his beauty deserved - and as instructed by his eldest brother - and miserable when they returned to his mate's apartment. He realized that now... his sweet, tender redhead became quite a bit mean instead.
When playing his pet, Raha was nothing but attentive and tender with his cat-like, small form, but when in humanoid form, whenever they weren't mating, his lover seemed determined to avoid his touch. He was forced to take part in the human dating - in his... inexperience, taking it as some sort of elaborate punishment for failing in pleasing his mate.
The dates themselves weren't always unpleasant [and we'll get into them in the 'PDA' chapter], but the overall idea that his lover's behavior meant that he was failing as a mate made him... extremely unhappy, leading him to eventually consider going back to his lair...
"You... never told me that, Sen. That you wanted to leave."
"Since you... well, Soul-Bonded me before I could make up my mind and then I realized what was the real issue... why would I, babe? And before you'll start beating yourself over that... I know now that you were struggling no less than I did, love. I was... too pushy and all things considered, no wonder you felt overwhelmed."
"Sen... don't try to excuse me, okay? I was an asshole to you, when you did nothing wrong, only trying to show me care. That I was 'struggling' was my own fault, not yours. I let my complexes get between us and treated you badly while doing so... so no wonder you wanted to leave, that's all."
"Hey, I'm to blame, too. I shouldn't have assumed things or try to learn what you found pleasing... instead of blindly following what Ares taught me, yes?"
"Perhaps... but like you just taught me, Senri, he's not only your brother and the leader of your Clan... but you as well had to listen to him - and Hades - to survive... So, I guess, it makes sense that you tend to... let those who you love walk all over you, too. Especially me..."
"Raha... literally nothing makes me happier than making you happy, babe. Your pleasure is my pleasure, as is your every other feeling... but having boundaries - even with people you love - is important, too, or else... yeah, 'ass-kissing lemming,' and all that. If I knew it better back then, and confronted you about your behavior instead of acting like nothing is wrong, I think we would resolved it much sooner. I don't believe that you in any way should feel inferior to Damon, love, but now I understand why you didn't want to be treated the same way he is by my brother, and... honestly, I more than enjoy now our relationship, too. Feisty as you are when riled up, my cute kitten, I love poking at your temper more than that... constant stepping on my toes around you in those first months."
"...call me 'cute kitt en' one more time, asshole, and see what it gets you!"
"See... feisty and I love it! Now, let's wrap up this chapter, babe, so I can fuck your fiery self into submission, hm?"
"One more word, Sen... and the only thing you're going to fuck is your own hand."
"Mmm... while you watch? It always gets you..."
"Shut the fuck up and let's... finish this, that's all. And stop laughing, asshole! You're sooo sleeping on the cou... omph!"
...
...
...
...
"Hey, guys! Sorry, Raha's... unavailable right now since we got a tad distracted earlier, so just let me illiterate the point of this chapter. I think, no matter if you're a human or a Miqo'te, if you want to have a healthy relationship, you have to not only respect your loved one' feelings, but also your own.
I struggled with that, and sometimes still do - but if you're lucky and find someone as caring and kind as Raha is under the bluster, they won't use your weaknesses but instead help and support you in guarding them.
They will be your strength, as my Raha is for me, and even if sometimes we still fight or have trouble finding the correct balance... I think talking about it is the best way toward solving whatever hinders your relationship.
Even Bonded as we're now, with access to each other minds and feelings, we found that having sort of... your own space to think and be alone is also important. It depends on the person, obviously, and he's so... used to being alone, sometimes he needs it more than I do, but respecting that is also a part of being together, I think.
For now, I'm going to try to post this correctly and probably he will ran his 'corrections' when he's up and about again.
As for the next chapter, I'm planning to talk him into writing it as... full story, you know? Because meeting his parents was... an experience, I promise you that. (And I'm still considering what prank I'm going to pay Ares back in for not warning me about it! Try to make a good first impression when someone's quite literally allergic to you, sheesh!)
Have a great day and see you in the next entry!