Plagg sat with Tikki in a shoe box lined with pink fabric and pillows and cookie crumbs. He glared through slitted eyes at the two idiot teenagers sitting in the middle of Marinette's room. Adrien's head was in her lap, a very unplatonic position, though the boy would no doubt misinterpret it later for maximum romantic suffering. Plagg was sure he was stupid on purpose about these things just to get back at him for making him smell like cheese all the time.

Marinette was running her fingers through Adrien's hair, with a very unplatonic smile on her face. He had his eyes closed, of course, and was missing her entire expression of love and open adoration.

Plagg's tail twitched in annoyance. It had been like this ever since the reveal. Adrien would no doubt talk about this for weeks instead of doing something about it. It would make him happy, but he'd still be too scared to take the opportunity she was giving him. Instead he would just moon over how great it had been before he invariably would start moaning about how she didn't want more, all the while missing every hint she gave him. He took no action, and so they made no progress.

Next to him, Tikki sighed.

"What?"

"Marinette," she said. "Adrien is all she's been talking about."

"Can't imagine what that's like. My kitten never talks about her. Ever."

Maybe he should do something to help them along? Then they would both shut up.

Tikki huffed. "She's been telling me how much she wants to grab his face and kiss him."

"Well, she should hurry up and do it already," he said, flopping backward onto the cushioned fabric. "It would save all four of us the agony!"

A small squeak and rustling of clothes announced that the kids had changed positions, so Plagg returned to his lookout spot to continue spying.

Adrien had gotten up and was standing in the middle of the room. Marinette had her back turned to him, but Plagg could see the blush on her cheeks. Had he missed something? Eh, it had probably been small, like an accidental touch on the leg or them looking at each other at the same time. The stupidest, most inconsequential things could set these two off.

Marinette reached for her hairbrush and started fiddling with it.

"Could I–" Adrien cleared his throat and tried again. "Could I brush your hair?"

Marinette spun around, mouth open.

Plagg's ears perked up. Was that kid making a move? (It was the most pathetic move Plagg had ever had the misfortune to witness, but it was better than nothing.)

Marinette thrust the hairbrush at him, and he almost fumbled it. When he finally got a good grip on it, he held it too tightly. His knuckles were turning white.

"Should we do something?" Tikki asked. "Set them at ease?"

Plagg shook his head. He kind of wanted to see how much of a train wreck this would turn into.

"So, uh, why don't you sit down?" Adrien asked, gesturing toward the chaise with the brush.

Marinette nodded, but when she didn't move, Adrien gently put a hand on her arm and pushed her in the right direction and into the seat. Adrien took up his place quietly behind her and started to brush.

So much for a train wreck. The worst that would probably happen now is Adrien pulling her hair a little because he was sooooo distracted by how "silky" and "luscious" her hair felt between his fingers, or whatever other horrible words he'd used to describe it this morning.

The next five minutes passed in disappointing silence. Adrien brushed carefully. Marinette sat rigidly. Neither one made another move. Plagg wanted to scream. Something needed to happen or these two would continue to torture him for the next sixty years.

An idea hit him. All it would take is a little… shove.

"You're smiling," Tikki hissed. "Whatever you're thinking, stop it."

"Stop what? Smiling?" Plagg asked loudly. He floated up to where both kids could see him. Adrien looked terrified. Good. He should be. "I'm just happy they've reached the part of their courtship where they're grooming each other."

Adrien jumped back like Marinette was a demon gorgon who was spitting fire at him. Marinette actually squawked. Like a chicken. And then she turned to stare at him over her shoulder. "We're not courting!" They yelled at the same time.

"You're not?" Plagg asked, pretending he was totally clueless while knowing full well he wasn't fooling anyone. "But you're always touching and making those mushy eyes at each other. Marinette, did you know that Adrien has your first 25 dates planned out already?"

"Hey!" Adrien finally sprang into action. His face was white, and his aim was terrible. The hairbrush sailed past Plagg and landed on Marinette's desk with a clatter.

"And, Adrien, Tikki says Marinette wants to kiss you. It's all she talks about."

Marinette said something, but Plagg wasn't sure what. It sounded like it was trying to be a human language, at least. Her face was as red as Adrien's was white.

Tikki grabbed his tail and started to pull him up toward the skylight. "Okay, you've done enough."

She was probably right. And Plagg was sure he didn't want to see whatever happened next. The kids were slowly gathering their dignity. Marinette patted her cheeks in an effort to cool them. Adrien had collected the brush and was turning it over and over in his hands.

Plagg let himself be dragged up through the roof and onto Marinette's balcony, but he stayed close to the skylight, so he could watch their progress.

Tikki settled in next to him. "I knew you wanted them to get together as much as I did."

"What? No."

"And you want to watch them talk about their feelings now because?" She inclined an antenna toward the scene below them. The kids were facing each other, both very still.

Plagg floated backward. "I just wanted to see if they'd make fools of themselves again."

"You're not invested in their relationship at all?"

"Of course not. Love is gross, and humans are gross, so human love is extra gross."

Tikki waited a few seconds, then said, "Okay, but just so you know, it looks like Adrien is touching her face and leaning in."

"I don't care about this ridiculous stuff. I just want him to stop whining to me all the time."

Tikki didn't blink, waiting to see if he would crack. Below them, Adrien took a step closer. This was it.

"Move over," Plagg said.

They landed on the edge of the skylight just in time to see the kids' lips connect. Marinette tilted her head and sighed. A smile was just visible in the corner of Adrien's mouth, one hand cradling the back of her neck. They stood statue still for five seconds before breaking the kiss and touching their foreheads together.

It was probably the most sickeningly adorable thing Plagg had ever seen. "Gross. I'm sorry I had that extra wedge of gouda. I'm going to vomit."

Tikki rolled her eyes. "No, you're not."

"Okay, I lied about the gouda."

She shook her head and ignored him as he floated away, making retching noises. He stopped before he reached the railing, plopping down in one of Marinette's flower pots. Faint giggling floated up from the bedroom. Tikki flitted and zipped with excitement.

"Gross," he repeated.

But silently he added, "You're welcome, kid."