chapter one: the almighty power of rule 63
(unforseen_circumstances)
Far above the surface of the planet we call Earth, there was a flying saucer. In that saucer, were a group of hyper-intelligent aliens, green skin and everything. They looked just like the generic aliens you would see in children's books and such. Their technology was centuries ahead of what we had here on Earth, but they weren't all too different.
They (especially the male aliens), liked two of the same things that we on Earth like. Mischief and gender-bending stories. In fact, they liked it so much that they decided to test out a new drug they made that transformed the user into the opposite gender permanently. Since the effect was permanent, they were too scared to try it themselves but if they had a lab rat that in which the concoction was able to induce noticeable effects (the aliens barely had any changes in gender), it would make for a great experiment and a great live show for the aliens to watch.
They mulled over many species to test it on: Xortaloids, Mumpkits, Dermodites, but they all didn't quite match what the aliens were looking for. But they were either too intelligent, not intelligent enough, the females ate the males, or other factors that made them undesirable.
But then, they found the exact right species.
In Galaxy-AE89G8, they found a planet called Earth that housed a species of aliens that all of the ideal characteristics to be tested on. They were intelligent enough to display clear emotions but not intelligent enough to ignore them, they had noticeable enough differences in gender that it was clear to tell the female apart from the male, but not drastic enough where the two ended up looking like entirely different species. And most of all, they shared the same interests.
They had their drug and they had their target, all they needed was a way to send the drug in inconspicuously. The aliens decided to send the drug in a drink so as to not alarm the person who took the drug immediately. It was very important that the person being gender-bent did not know how they became that way. In order to do their research, they decided to hop on the biggest Earthling social media site they found: Twitter (they found it confusing that the website was called Twitter and the platform was called X). The first tweet they found about a drink came from an advertisement for Georgia MAX Coffee. Yes, this drink seemed to be the perfect vessel.
MAX Coffee was two things that made it perfect to send the drug in. It was popular and it had an incredibly strong flavor. The flavor was strong enough to mask the taste of the drug.
And so, the aliens retrieved a can of Georgia MAX Coffee, dissolved the drug inside of it, and put it back into a vending machine.
Now, all there was to do was wait for an unlucky (or lucky, whatever way you see it) soul to stumble upon the can and drink it.
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
Hikigaya Hachiman was many things. Siscon, lonely, cynical. Even more other than those, not always displaying them in public, though. But, one thing he certainly was, and everyone who was somewhat familiar with him knows he is, is addicted to Georgia MAX Coffee. He religiously downed the holy, delicious, sugary beverage multiple times a day. It was safe to say that if he didn't have at least two cans of MAX Coffee every day, he would die from the withdrawal.
And so, Hikigaya Hachiman walked up to the MAX Coffee vending machine in his school, Sobu High School. The vending machine was in an obscure hallway somewhere in the back part of the school, far from the second-year classes Hachiman was taking. It was lunchtime, and having already eaten his melon bread, Hachiman was thirsty for a nice drink. And what better drink than a nice hot can of Georgia MAX Coffee?
Pushing the buttons, Hachiman put 200 yen into the vending machine and acquired his beverage. It had been 10 hours since Hachiman had MAX Coffee, far too long by his standards. Hachiman bent down to grab the coffee from the machine and held it in his hands, marveling at it for a good 10 seconds before opening the lid.
The coffee was perfectly warm, as expected.
"Life is bitter so coffee should be sweet."
Saying his MAX Coffee mantra, Hachiman took a sip of the god-sent drink.
"Hm, this coffee tastes a tad bit weird." Hachiman noticed.
The coffee still tasted the same as ever. Overly sweet, overly coffee-tasting, but there was something off about it.
"Meh, I drank some juice a little bit ago. Maybe the taste hasn't left my mouth left."
With that conclusion, Hachiman put that suspicion to rest and kept sipping the coffee.
Two minutes and a lot of walking later, the can was entirely finished. Giving a sigh of relief, Hachiman through away the can into a recycling bin and cleaned his mouth with a handkerchief.
"I really needed that. Math is the next subject. Wait, crap! I only have 2 minutes!"
Hachiman realized the time and started sprinting toward his next class. Hachiman was having an ordinary day today, and he believed that the next would be just the same.
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
(Hachiman POV)
I woke up much earlier than usual today. That's weird.
I got up from my bed and stretched while yawning. Normally, I would be awake around 7:30 to get to school at 8:00 but today, I woke up at 6:30, a whole hour later. Normally, I would go back to sleep but for some reason, I was completely wide awake.
"That's weird... huh, who's talkin'?"
I heard a woman's voice. It certainly wasn't Komachi or mom. Wait, could a girl have sneaked into my house to come and kill me? If that's the case, I'll have to do my defensive maneuvers (getting into a dogeza and apologizing profusely for whatever I did).
But wait, who would I have offended?
"Hmm... I haven't talked to a girl in the past couple months... Wait, could they have been so offended by my appearance that... WAIT it's that voice again..." And somehow they're saying my exact thoughts.
Feeling weird, I decided to go talk to Komachi. I didn't bother taking off my pajamas since if someone girl broke into my home and started speaking everything I was thinking, it would certainly be a prank devised by her and one of her friends. But, I don't remember Komachi bringing a friend yesterday.
I opened the door and walked into the hallway. Komachi should be in the living room watching some prerecorded anime. It's a morning routine for her.
I started walking down the stairs and walked into the living room. I guess Komachi heard me because she turned over to greet me.
"Onii-chan! You're up ear-"
She suddenly stopped so I started talking.
"Komachi, I can't believe you would prank your Onii-chan like that. I mean, getting one of your friends to say everything I think out loud in a girl's voice. WAIT, they're still doing it! Do you hear that, Komachi?"
"Onii-chan, is that you?" Komachi asked.
I looked at her weirdly and stated, "Of course, it's me, Komachi. Some girl just keeps-"
"Onii-chan, I think you need to look in the mirror."
"Hmm? Is there something on my face?"
Saying nothing, Komachi ran to the bathroom and got the hand mirror she uses to put on makeup. She put it in my hands.
"Komachi?"
"Look in it Onii-chan. Or, should I call you Onee-chan now?"
Onee-chan? There's no way I would turn into a woman.
I looked into the mirror and... wait.
I gasped at how I looked.
My signature eyes and ahoge were there, but I looked at other parts of my body and they were all different!
My skin was fairer and more clear, my hair was long and straight, and i suddenly had things protruding out of my chest.
"No way, I'm a woman?"
YOOOOO WHAT'S UP.
Lit fuse here.
Anyways it's been a while. I've been reading a lot but not writing. Why? Because of lack of motivation. Anyways, I had this idea and just wanted to put it to paper.
I think that every chapter I make of any fic I'm going to recommend an album I like. Music is amazing and I think exploring new music is a part of life!
This week's recommendation...
Dream Can - Into Sparks
You've probably never heard of Dream Can. And for good reason. They're a Chinese psychedelic rock band and their album Into Sparks is amazing! Peak psych rock and noise rock. The official lit fuse rank of Into Sparks is 96/100 so you know it's good.
Highlight track: Cheap, Cheap Time I Live, Money Money Saves Me.
See you next time!