31/07 I DECIDED TO REWRITE THIS WHOLE SERIE, SO THERE'S NOT GOING TO BE UPDATES FOR A WHILE.
"Liver alone!" Stu says, joking, as he looks into the mailbox of his house.
"Your jokes are pathetic, you know?" Someone says behind him.
Stu turns around, studying the person from head to toe. It's an indigent man with an old backpack on his shoulders. His face is menacing.
"Oh, I get it. You're probably not a big fan of Stab, are you?" He says, a bit annoyed by the intrusion. " But I'll have you know that my jokes are not only funny, but they bring my friends together and make us all stronger, smarter, more capable, and just all around better people. And I'd say that's not at all pathetic. And besides, I'm doing what I can to fight the darkness and all the evils of this world. How about you? What do you do?"
The man frowns his eyebrows, shaking his head.
"You moron. It's me, Billy."
Stu stares at this man for a minute, and he can see he's serious. Stu pauses for a minute and puts his hand on Billy's shoulder and smiles.
"Billy… You're alive?"
"So are you, I see." Billy says, emotionless.
"You're not going to believe what I've been through. I'll tell you later. Now, what's your take on this new killing spree the town is having? Do you think it's another copycat? Or someone new?"
"Why do you care? I don't give a damn about them. They can't make a good plot for a movie like the one we did. That Stab movie… It didn't do us justice." he says furious, with a malevolent look on his dirty face.
"You're right, the Stab franchise just ripped off real life and worsened it. So, why aren't you stopping the new killer running rampant through town? Don't you care about the safety of your fellow peers?"
"Why should I care? Nobody…cares about me." He lowers his voice at that. "I've been living in the streets, hiding from the police… Even my father doesn't give a shit about me… Why am I even surprised?" He laughs. " He was always a piece of shit."
Billy shakes his head and looks away.
"Well, I still care about you, Billy." It appears genuine and Stu seems sorrowful. "And I'm sorry no one else has let you know that you matter. Even if your dad and the movie couldn't see past you, I do. You shouldn't be living on the streets, hiding, being cold and lonely and in fear. And I'm more than willing to help you."
"But you haven't looked for me in years. Why would I believe you?" Billy asks, a cold gaze fixed on Stu.
"I know it's no excuse, but after what happened on that tragic night, I just didn't know what to do. I tried looking for you, but the cops really hounded me, and I was getting a lot of unwanted attention from the media, and I couldn't keep my head straight. I know I let you down, but I swear, I can make it up to you. Just let me try."
Billy sighs, tired and starved. He doesn't know what to feel about Stu.
"You can let me hide in your place for a couple of days? I'll leave after that… I just… I really need a shower and something to eat. Not only that, but I feel too weak, and I hate it." He looks at the ground, embarrassed.
Stu can see Billy is very thin under all his layers.
"Of course! Absolutely. Let me help you and take care of you. I'm more than willing and able to do that. I know I screwed up before, but I'm here for you now."
Billy looks at him suspicious.
"You're not going to sell me to the police, right?"
"You have my word on that, Billy." Stu holds up his hand and seems sincere in helping him. "Now, let's get you a good shower and a hot meal."
Billy nods, still unsure about trusting Stu at all.
Stu helps Billy into the house and gives him some clean clothes to change into. Stu then proceeds to make Billy a hot meal for comfort. After eating and taking a nice warm shower, Billy looks much better than he has in years.
" There you go, feel better?"
Billy nods slowly, his face red of embarrassment. He doesn't like Stu's charity at all, it makes him feel weak and unwanted.
Stu looks at Billy.
"I can tell that something is still bothering you. Are you still suspicious about my motives? Do you think I'm being genuine? Am I a good person? Can you trust me?"
Billy gives him a cold stare.
"A good person? Stu, we're killers. And we will always be that…"
Stu looks down at the floor and sighs.
"Yes, you're probably right. We will always be the killers of that fateful night. And despite our mistakes that will haunt us forever, I am determined to live with that and I accept that reality. But does that mean we can't change? Or at least do some good with the rest of our lives?"
Billy stays silent for a moment, thinking. He secludes deep into his mind, a troubled expression on his face. When he speaks, his face is cold and detached.
"I don't think I can do that… If I could go back in time, I would still choose to murder… You know? There's something in me that revels in violence."
Stu looks up in surprise at Billy.
"But why? Don't you see that killing won't improve your life? It may provide temporary relief, perhaps the ultimate escape, but is that what life's all about? To get some quick release and then be gone? Isn't there more to life? Aren't we more than just murderous creatures?"
"So you regret what we did?" Billy says, more like a rhetorical question. "I bet you even regret having met me back then…"
Stu closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath. Then he looks at Billy, not sad but with a certain determination on his face. His face seems older, colder, and wiser than the young man he once was.
"Do I have regrets? Absolutely, but regret alone just won't do anyone well. Regrets will always exist, but that doesn't mean we can't move on, seek redemption, and find the strength within us to overcome, and that's what I want for both you, and me."
"I'm tired" Billy blurts out suddenly, not wanting to hear Stu's words at all. They sound like a Christmas movie script that makes him sick.
Stu gets up and puts a hand on Billy's shoulder.
"Alright. I'd love to have you stay for a while, but you look exhausted. So, I'll let you rest for now. If you need anything else, I'm available, so don't hesitate to ask for help. Ok? But before you go, tell me, do you want to give this another chance?" Stu looks into Billy's eyes with a certain hope.
Billy frowns.
"What do you mean by 'this'?"
Stu smiles.
"Billy, we may have made some horrific mistakes, but we had some pretty damn good times together too. Don't you miss those? Don't you miss just being able to talk and hang out? Doesn't a part of you just want to be free from being hunted and free to live your life again? I know I do. I want to be more than just some murderer. Not only that, but I intend to have a life again. And what I'm really asking is: do you want that too?"
Billy trembles a bit, his legs barely holding straight.
"I'm tired, Stu… Let's talk about it tomorrow, okay?"
Stu nods.
"Alright Billy. Get some rest. Just know that you got your choices to make, and I'll respect them either way. " Stu sighs, "But if you ask me, I missed you." He smiles softly. "Get some shut-eye now, and I'll see you tomorrow."
"Where can I sleep?"
"Oh, sorry, of course. The house is pretty big. There's an extra room in the back for you. I have some clean sheets and stuff for you too, but there's only one bed. I hope that won't be too much of a bother. Is that alright with you?"
"Yeah, it's fine… I mean… I didn't bring anyone else in my pocket" he chuckles.
Stu laughs a little at the comment.
"Ah, you're still as funny as ever. Ok. If you need anything, you let me know. And hey, you take it easy, ok?" Stu seems genuinely concerned for him. "We'll talk some more in the morning." Stu then gives him a hug and leads him to the spare room to get some rest.
Billy barely got some sleep that night. Stu gentle words keep replaying in his mind. But he doesn't even want to consider them. He knows what he is… It's too late for him to change his paths.
The next morning, Stu knocks lightly on the door to the room Billy was staying in. He wanted to see if he was up.
"Billy, get up, you sleepy head, it's breakfast time." He chuckles a little bit. "Did you get some sleep?" Stu's tone then becomes serious, and he places a hand on his shoulder. " I wanted to apologize for being so pushy last night. I know it's a big thing I'm asking you, but I need you to know that I've got your back."
Billy sits up and looks at him with a murderous face.
"Jesus, Stu. Can I at least go to pee before you start your interrogation." he chuckles. He opens his arms, yawning.
Stu sighs in relief. A smile then comes over his face.
"Right, right, sorry, my head's still a bit foggy. Sure, you go take care of all your business, and then I'll serve you breakfast, ok? Then we can eat and talk."
"Yeah, whatever… I'll see you in the kitchen then… If that's the price of your hospitality, then I'll chat with you" he murmurs, and lets himself drop hard into the bed again.
Stu chuckles and leaves him to his devices.
"Alright then, see you in just a minute."
Stu heads to the kitchen and starts on making some eggs and toast. He also thinks about the offer he made to Billy the previous night, and he feels a little anxious about it. He decides to keep it in the front of his mind, and then he puts on a pot of coffee. Once the coffee is done brewing, he grabs some small plates and a couple of forks, and then he heads back to the spare room to see if Billy has got up yet.
Billy stays in the hot shower as long as he can. He's trying to avoid Stu for a while, he didn't even manage to sleep, his head working all night without rest.
Stu knocks gently on the door to the bathroom, then he puts his ear against it, to see if he can hear Billy.
"Yo, you are ok in there? Billy, I'm cooking, and I got breakfast almost ready. We can talk while we eat, and then we can talk as you like, ok? " Stu sounds like he's really trying to be understanding and empathetic, trying to show that he really cares about Billy's feelings and wants to make things right.
Billy ignores Stu's words. He isn't feeling okay with his optimistic view of life… Stu has changed. He was the only person Billy thought that was like him… But it seems he was mistaken.
Stu starts to get concerned and knocks loudly on the door.
"Billy, I'm serious about this! I have to know you're ok!" Stu seems genuinely worried, and there appears to be some kind of strange desperation in his voice as he speaks out. "If you need something, I'm more than willing to help you, ok?" Stu then takes a deep breath and regains his composure. "Look, I know this is hard and that I'm asking a lot of you, but I really need to know you're fine, ok?"
Stu then waits for an answer.
"I'm jerking off, okay" Billy shouts, pissed off. "Unless you want to help me with that too, leave me alone, okay?" he laughs.
Stu stares at the bathroom door in shock as what he heard sinks into his brain. For a few seconds, he doesn't respond and then a nervous smile starts to spread from his face.
"Uhh… Umm… Ok! " Stu chuckles as he walks away from the door and rubs the back of his head. "Alright… Umm… I'll wait for you back in the kitchen. Ok?" Stu walks away from the bathroom door and then turns around. "You take your time! " Stu sounds genuinely awkward and flustered as he talks.
Billy laughs loudly for a couple of minutes. It seems Stu was embarrassed and walked away. Fine, he needs more time alone.
Later, he dresses himself and goes to the kitchen, trying not to laugh at Stu's face.
Stu is waiting there at the kitchen table, cooking up the eggs and toast, and he seems to have recovered a little from his awkward reaction. As Billy comes in, he smiles a little bit. He does look a little sheepish in his awkwardness. He tries to make a joke to deflect the tension in an attempt to move on from it." So, are you feeling any better, you ol' goofball? " He chuckles a little bit. "Sorry about that before. I, uhh… I guess I'm just worried about you, you know? " Stu sounds sincere and honest in his words.
Billy looks at him expressionless for a moment and then starts laughing uncontrollably.
"Your face" he keeps laughing. "What? You never jerked off in your life?"
Stu looks down a little and blushes a bit in embarrassment as Billy laughs. He sighs and then smiles again and joins him in laughing.
"Alright, alright, enough. You got me. I guess that was pretty dumb, huh?" Stu shrugs a little with a sheepish smile still on his face. " Look at us, making fools of ourselves. " He chuckles a little bit. "It's good to laugh like this again. And yeah, I've probably done it too at your age, so I most likely shouldn't judge." He laughs a little more.
Billy looks at him confused, not laughing anymore. "What do you mean 'your age'? We are the same age, dumbass!"
Stu thinks for a moment.
"Hey, that's true!" Stu laughs." Man, that was even dumber than me walking in on you, huh? " Stu rubs the back of his head in embarrassment. He then takes a deep breath and looks Billy in the eye. He smiles and then speaks. "So, I wanted to say that… That I'm sorry. I really am. And I'm really not just saying it, I mean it. I am so sorry. For the way I acted that night and for the way I let you down ever since. You didn't deserve that.
Billy feels a tight grip in his throat. He doesn't know what to say, what Stu expects him to say. It feels Stu has gone on with his life and Billy stumbling into it isn't fair.
He nods silently, looking at his coffee expressionless.
Stu pauses for a moment and then speaks.
"Billy, do you ever feel like your mistakes are the biggest part of what makes you, you? I mean, I believe that's true for me. The pain in my past is a part of me now that I can never forget. But even with all the regrets in the world. Don't you ever ask yourself: What good can I find in this? The answer may be difficult or even impossible to see at first. But it's there. And if you really look deep enough, you might find it. Do you see what I mean?
"No, I haven't." He shakes his head. Then suddenly, he stands up. "Look, I think I wasted enough of your time. I'm glad you're fine and shit… I have to leave." And he starts walking out of the kitchen towards the main door.
Stu looks shocked. He is caught completely off-guard by Billy's sudden departure. He quickly takes a step towards him, wanting to say more, but the words don't seem to come to him. He suddenly realizes that Billy is already walking out of the door. He stops, and lets Billy leave. He then sighs and then walks over to the kitchen counter and pours himself a drink. He sits heavily in one of the chairs, and he stares down at the drink. His eyes are sad and disappointed as he thinks about what happened with Billy.