Author's note : I don't own Naruto.
This is Temari's story.
Chapter summary: Five times Temari almost told him that he was her soulmate, and the one time Shikamaru figured it out.
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Temari woke up in the middle of the night as a clock struck the hour. She knew what day it was. She knew where she was. Figuratively. In her soulmate's body.
As her eyes adjusted to the pitch black of the room she was in, she could not help but feel like she was in for a rough ride. Her hand fumbled around looking for a switch to the night lamp on the bedside table, hoping to illuminate the room so that she can get a better view of the surroundings. Only, something was knocked off the table. Wait, was that a sloshing sound that she just heard, besides something falling on the floor?
It didn't take long for her hands to find the switch and turn the lights on. Only, her excitement was converted to shock just as quickly as they came on. Because she knew the person standing in the photograph on the nightstand. A porcupine haired teenage boy in his late teens standing by an older gentleman whom he resembled greatly. It could be no one else. She had seen that face a great too many times in the past two weeks. Only, she had not realized this is how it would turn out. Because Shikamaru Nara did not for one moment believe in soulmates.
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The first time
Temari gulped at the sight of the same as she found herself going back to the first time she met him.
She had walked into the Uchiha Sarutobi firm for the first time. If it was not for her father requesting that she attend to this personally, she would not have bothered to be here herself. But given how much her father respected Asuma Sarutobi as both a friend and colleague, and the fact that she respected both of those men immensely, she would look over the dealings surrounding the establishment of the new branch of their investment firm here in Konoha. And she would also look into having her fathers friend draw up soulmate contracts for her brothers.
But nothing had prepared Temari for the honest intrigue that would surround her for days after leading her to prolong her stay in the city and see this entire project through. And that was because he bumped into him.
Shikamaru Nara, as she found out later, who held her gaze and fiercely defended Asuma to her. Who did not even want to consider that she might actually be quite familiar with the older gentleman if she was throwing his name around casually. And that was how she found herself prolonging her stay in Konoha, even though she knew that she would find a soulmate soon and all these attractions would fade away into nothing.
But something about the fact that he openly said he did not believe in soulmates unnerved her. Only, she couldn't put a finger on it back then. Because as fate would have it, it seemed that he was the most happiness that the universe could offer her.
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Temari contemplated what to do after the memory of these events rushed back into her mind. Her body was in the hotel room she had been staying in, and she did not leave any of her personal belongings out in the open. But knowing him, he would find a way to find her identity. Because all along, her plan had been to leave her soulmate a message. But now, she was beginning to have doubts. How would they who did not believe in soulmates react to her hoping he would find her?
So she decided to leave it be. If he wanted to speak with her after finding out, he would not need her message to find her. And so Temari fell back into his bed, not knowing what to expect the next day.
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The second time
It soon became evident to Temari that this was not going to be as easy as she hoped it would be. This being ignoring the heavy pit in her stomach as the events of the previous night came back into her mind. She could not last fifteen minutes in front of Itachi, trying to maintain a facade she had cooked up, pretending there was no storm cooking up in her mind. So she had excused herself by 9:15 in the morning and set herself up in the conference room. At Least this way, she could be alone with her thoughts a little more time, and figure out what to do.
But as hours went by, Temari could not push down all of the feelings that had begun to erupt within her. Now that she found her soulmate, she felt a sense of completion. Even though it was always countered by his words from the night before Christmas, she found herself wanting to find out what he thought about it. Would it be so bad if she gave it a try?
Yes, she realized, soon enough. She had picked up enough about his walk and talk in the past week since she had begun working with him to know that it was him in the hallway outside. And he stepped into the meeting room with the most infuriated look on his face.
While she would have guessed that half of it might have been due to the strawberry milkshake that had spilled all over the coat he had been shrugging off, not that it would do anything since the rest of him was drenched in it as well, the expression seemed to run more deeper than because of this superficial incident.
"-don't even start, woman," he had interrupted her before she could even ask him anything about it. Temari however, did not relent.
"Jeez. What has turned you into a cry baby?" she asked.
His death stare was the only thing she got in response. At least until he perhaps realized that his words could do more damage. Or put forth an answer clearly. Honestly there seemed to be no difference between the two of them.
"Yeah, now wouldn't you like to fix it," he sneered, "Never mind. Let's just get on with this," he pointed at the screen and turned away from her.
How. Dare he.
'Wouldn't she like to fix it?', what, because she was his soulmate, he thought she wanted to solve his problems for him? He absolutely had no right to speak to her like this.
Temari was sure that her expression and disbelief translated well onto her face as she decided to remove herself from his presence. And any thoughts she might have had over the past few hours, about talking to him about their soulmate situation, all of them vanished into thin air. But however much she wanted to remove herself from this firm entirely, she knew she could not do that right now. She had to work by his side for her father's company. And that was what halted her in her tracks and made her say the next few words she could spare for him.
"Take some time off, go shower, fix your mood. Tell me when you are ready to work," she said, "I'll be with Itachi."
And with that, she left him alone to wallow in his own resentment of her, because she would not for one second tolerate it.
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Her displeasure at the entire ordeal made its way onto her face as well, she realized when Itachi asked her about her foul mood as soon as she joined him again.
"That Nara is an asshole," she muttered angrily under her breath as she set up her work table beside him once more. "Whyever would anyone here deal with him," she groaned.
"Well, after the coffee and the milkshake, I bet you would be having a bad day too," Itachi eyed her warily. "What did he say?"
Temari sidestepped the question he posed because her attention was drawn to the first sentence he said. "Coffee?" she asked.
"Yeah. Apparently he spilled coffee all over a book," he laughed.
"What?"
"Mmm.. on his favorite book?", he said, like it explained everything. "Hobbit, first edition apparently."
Oh crap. That was not him, that was me, she realized.
Yet, she maintained her nonchalance. "Oh. Is that all?" she extended.
"Yes. That's what I think. What else could it be?". Temari remained silent. Telling Itachi about the inner workings of her brain, even before spoke about them to him, she was surprisingly not comfortable with that. However, Itachi added something else of note. "I suppose he could be upset because it was Mirai's favorite book."
That caught her attention. "Asuma's … daughter?", she asked curiously.
"Yes," he replied. "I suppose that comes as a surprise, Shikamaru does not come off as the sentimental type to many."
Temari let out a tiny giggle at that. "I suppose not," she said looking away as she settled down. But if that book meant this much to him to ruin his mood this much, it could actually be possible that he did not figure out who she was last night. Maybe she could have his book fixed. Or replaced. But for what it was worth, Temari found it very funny that the genius could not figure out anything about her last night.
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The third time
Her anger towards his behavior was short-lived after that, and in the weeks that went by. Yet she did not find herself wanting to tell him about their situation anyway.
But somehow, the fact that he had not figured out who his soulmate was made her very rebellious, irrespective of what he might have had to think about it. And boy was it entertaining teasing him on it. Especially when it came with the added bonus of getting him off his lazy ass.
And maybe also because he never retorted. He always let he have the last word.
Only, she never thought she would want to tell him about being his soulmate after one such bickering session. Because unknowingly, he had revealed to her the most vital information of all.
"Brain of a genius, will of a sloth", Itachi said one day. Something about a genius loophole Shikamaru had found at the last minute.
"See? You gotta agree now," the back haired boy looked at her, raising another playful argument.
But she was good at this by now. "Yeah, Itachi. Just like a teenager," she remarked, looking directly into his eyes.
And the effect it had on him was wonderful to watch nevertheless. His eyes widened in surprise and he fell speechless, bewildered, as he tried to think of a comeback.
But the response she received was not something she was prepared for.
"Hey! I'm twenty-three," he sputtered finally.
Those words dropped a bombshell on Temari instantly. That means he never possessed my body.
So it was not that he did not figure it out, he literally could not. That means he would figure it out two years later. Oh, how she thought he was irritated because he woke up in her body and did not want a soulmate. And how she later thought he was irritated because he could not figure out the person on the other end in spite of his reluctance to believe in soulmates, she could not have been more wrong. The scenario was entirely different.
As guilt panged her insides within seconds of finding out, Temari found herself about to reveal everything to him that very moment.
Only, she was interrupted.
"Shikamaru, now," came Asuma's voice as the tall gentleman peeked inside Itachi's cabin and ushered the youngman out.
Thankfully, Temari came to her senses quite instantly. Because now that the object of her ire left the room, practical thoughts rushed into her mind once more. Like the fact that he still did not believe in soulmates. She needed to remember that, always, always. She could not go about carelessly, spilling the beans, caught in the flow of things. And mind you, Itachi was sitting right there, eyeing her inquisitively after that entire ordeal. So she decided, this slip could not happen again, be it around anyone or alone with him.
With that, the blond woman averted her eyes back towards the screen and pretended to mingle her mind with her work. But somehow, the news still kept her far away from focusing on anything for a while.
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The Fourth time
Bad news has its way of bringing people closer or tearing them apart. Temari found out the hard way, one day late March, when Kankuro called her with news about Misa. His soulmate. Their friend. And the fact that she had met with an accident.
'Misa has been in an accident, Temari,' the broken voice of her twin brother broke through the speaker. Temari gasped in shock.
"What? How- When did this happen, Kankuro?"
'This morning, she was on the way to work when I got a call," he sobbed. 'It's not looking good,' he trailed into a whisper.
"Hey. Listen to me. She is strong. Hey," she tried to pull him out of hopelessness. "She will be fine, Kankuro, have faith." she pleaded. And god did she not know how he must have been feeling at that moment.
'I can't live without her Temari. I just can't. I know it's only been three months since- It doesn't matter. She has the purest soul, Tem. I- I- I can't- I can't- live without her."
For some reason, this brought tears to her eyes. Maybe not as deeply as Kankuro, but three months had done a lot for her as well. "I know, I know," she said, pushing back her own feeling regarding her life and soul, "I love her too. She is like a sister to me."
'Please, Tem. I can't bear it-"
"Okay. Now I need you to listen to m-"
'I can't do this alone here Temari. Gaara is here but you know he is young and he- he doesn't understand me as you do. Come over. Please. I'm begging you."
"Alright. I'm coming over," she decided. There was no place to be except by her family on such a day like this. "Tell Gaara to pick me up at 8. Okay? Don't worry. She will pull through."
'I'll try to keep that in mind.'
With that, she disconnected the call and heaved a labored breath as she blinked away the moisture collecting in her eyes.
Twins always have a secret bond, her mother had told her once. And maybe that was why she found herself like this. Feeling scared and vulnerable. And she had not even begun thinking about her situation with Shikamaru. Because that always spoiled her mood somehow.
But somehow, today she felt herself craving him. What kind of weird phenomenon is this, linking them across space and time. They did not even have anything like that between them, and if things went the way they went, they would never have anything like this ever. Yet that did not stop her from thinking about him.
"All good? A voice startled her. A voice she knew very well. A voice she sometimes dreamed about. "Temari?" he called, as her eyes met him across the conference table.
And suddenly it was as if it broke a dam within her. Today was the first time her name made its way onto his lips, and somehow that was how she wanted to hear it for the rest of her life. She would believe in the universe and its ways. Because she had come to feel what the universe meant her to feel for him. To hell with keeping her tears at bay now, she thought as waters pooled in her eyes once more. There was nothing that was stopping her resolve as the only thing she wanted to do was crash in his arms and sob for her brother who might just lose the love of his life.
"-Shikamaru?" she whispered his name for the first time, on the precipice of telling him everything.
"Hey. What's wrong," he asked, as he slowly circled around the table to approach her.
But her own resolve came back to her within moments as she realized she chose not to slip once more.
Temari swallowed her tears back. "Uhh- nothing. A family emergency. Um… so-" she broke once more and shook her head. She could not do this with him here. She could not tell him her problems and pretend her heart was not in it when his most certainly was not.
"I'm sorry," she said instead. "I- I need to reschedule. My brother's soulmate got into a car accident. I- I need to be there for him. Excuse me," she got up and picked up her bag
"Oh alright. Well," he dissolved. "It'll be fine," he said, waving his hand off casually.
This blew the fuse in Temari's brain. Just when she thought he was a passable human being, he says something this vile and thoughtless. About her brother, no less.
"What?" she seethed as she glared at him with utmost rage and fury.
"It'll… be… alright? Seriously, you're overthinking this," he said with a puzzled look. And that did it.
"Seriously Shikamaru?" she screamed. "You are unbelievable! I know you don't care about soulmates and anything, but this is.. this is my brother. His soulmate. She is dying. And you are being this insensitive?!"
"Temari. What are you-"
But she was not in the mood to hear any of that. She was too consumed with grief by the point. The grief that came in the form of a news telling her that she might lose a friend today. The grief that stayed within her saying she will never find the love she was hoping for.
"Actually you know what! I am the dumb person. I- I don't know why I ever expected you to understand," she cried in disbelief. "If all you can ever offer is this meager amount of happiness, then I don't think-" she stopped, -I don't think I want you!
Fate must be laughing at her by this point, pitying her like she was pitying herself. "I don't know who I pity more," she trailed away into a whisper as silent tears slipped from her eyes. With that, walked out on him.
As tears streamed from her face, partly because of Misa and Kankuro, and partly because of him, Temari decided that she could not stand to be here any longer. At least not until she got her family through the crisis back at home. Only, due to the sputtering mess she was, she crashed into Shizune on her way out.
"I'm sorry", Temari mustered through blurry eyes. "Family emergency," she added as she rushed out. If she created a scene, she didn't even care after today.
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The fifth time.
Almost a fortnight went by since Temari walked out from Uchiha Sarutobi before sun had hit the zenith. As soon as she collected herself, a quick message to Asuma had ensured that everything was covered for her behind her. That was how she took the first flight out and reached Sunagakure to be with her family. Theirs was the only thought that occupied her mind throughout the day and through the next week. Or at least, those were the ones that kept her from thinking about the person whose beliefs broke her heart that day.
But as the first week passed and Temari came back to Konoha, she found herself avoiding Shikamaru altogether. As she found out that he was too occupied with the end of the financial year, she herself shifted her corner to the third floor, directly removing herself from his line of sight. Although she knew she would not be able to avoid him for much longer given that they still had work to do, she also came to realize that her feelings about his beliefs were not his problem. And maybe somewhere within her, she might have possibly blown up for him for reasons beyond his control.
Only, that day came sooner than she thought. Because on the last day of March, he came face to face with her in front of the same conference room she had left him in two weeks ago.
How she held herself from breaking apart as he asked after the well being of his brother, only the heavens knew. Just when she thought he couldn't care less, he had to go around and do something like this. And somehow, he did not stop there.
It seemed as if Temari's outburst had touched him in one way or another. Because the things he said, the questions he asked, they were laced with hesitance.
"What was your first impression of me?" he asked.
I was impressed. So affected that I decided to stay in Konoha, even though I knew I would meet my soulmate come new year.
"Fine, I guess," she lied.
"Then why are you always arguing with me?" he extended.
Because you won't accept anything else from me.
Only now, she could not lie again. So she went with a different truth. "I… I don't have time for this right now. I have a meeting," she said looking away.
But even she knew that there was an apology pending from her side. Whatever problems she was going through, he did not deserve to be pulled into it. So she turned and finished, "I will talk to you later about this," she had said.
And now it was later. Evening to be precise. So she set out to do what she should have done a week ago when she came back.
"Hey, this a good time?" she asked as she knocked on the glass door to his cabin.
"Hey. Come on in," he stood up, inviting her in. As far as plans to apologize go, hers was straight forward.
"Look, I don't wanna argue with you," she told him clearly. "I'm sorry for blowing up on you that day. I know you don't like wasting your energy. Or time- Whatever- That's fine. I don't wanna bother you-"
"-I actually enjoy it," he said smirking, and she completely forgot what she was going to say next. "It's playful banter. And until you become violent, it's fun," he teased.
Ofcourse, he doesn't care that I blew up on him. And she did not know how to feel about that. Maybe this was all they will ever be. And if that was so, maybe she would keep up the charade. And so she scoffed out a response. "Ofcourse, I don't expect any other kind of response from you," she tried to push everything away. But deep down, she cared. It was almost as if they were not the feelings that were meant to be or stay caged.
"I'm sorry too… For that day," he said, meeting her eyes. "I was just trying to offer reassurance when I overheard about your brother. I clearly did not choose my words carefully."
While his apology caught her off guard, the last sentence brought out a laugh from within her. "You know, for someone who works in patents, that's terrible," she teased honestly. "But… Thank you," she said.
The silence that surrounded them once again brought her to her senses. She was not to read his apology as anything but that. She could absolutely not let it carve itself into the folds of her brain as a glimmer of hope.
"It means a lot," she decided to thank him right away. Only, the words were inching out of her every second she stood there in front of him. "I know you don't believe in soulmates but-", she stopped short again. Just hold them back, she convinced herself as she pulled back."-It means a lot. Anyway- see you roun-"
"I never said I didn't believe in love, Temari," Shikamaru interrupted.
And those were the words that told her, something had changed.
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The time he figured it out.
"What?" Temari said as she stopped short.
"Last christmas," he began, "I only said that I didn't believe in soulmates. I never said I didn't believe in love."
Her reactions were not her own anymore. Her expressions were not in her control anymore. And whatever change this was that happened, sparked that fire within her once more. The fire that she had so unwillingly tried to put out ever since New years day. But now that he shook his head as he approached her, it felt as if that fire had spread to every single crevice, nook, and corner, and everything she could do to subdue it was simply not working.
"So?" she asked, trying to focus on what she knew rather than what she hoped. "What does that have to do with-"
Only, her words died in her throat as he interlaced his fingers with hers, and met her eyes once more. And Temari did not know how to feel anything but the fire anymore.
"I know, Temari." he whispered, tugging her slightly closer. "I know."
Her eyes welled up with tears at the implication of those words. Because unlike all his other statements, this one was the only one whose meaning she knew. Especially when she combined them with those other words he said a few moments ago.
But how could he have figured it out? She had told practically no one of this. Even Kankuro and Gaara had tried to coax it out of her almost every other weekend and she did not budge. The only thing they knew was that her soulmate was younger than her, and that seemed to satiate their hunger for knowing why she was mum about all of this for so long. So her question remained. How did he figure out if she did not tell him this piece of information herself?
"I figured it out this morning," he said as if he read her mind.
Her eyes widened the slightest and her jaw fell open, but she did not break her silence.
"You were the one who spilled coffee over my book, weren't you? And then you probably found out from Itachi about why I was so bothered and pissy the next morning so you got my book fixed silently."
Her mouth that had fallen open shut immediately. He had figured out everything exactly to the point.
"This of all things is what shuts your mouth? Me figuring out that you woke up in my body?" he laughed as he held on to her hands. "Why did you not tell me?" he asked finally.
"You don't believe in soulmates," she stated. Was there even a point in hiding all of it or any of it anymore?
"But I believe in love, Temari," he said as he looked into her eyes. "I believe in love," he repeated.
The truthfulness behind his intentions was as stark as day. There was no second guessing, no doubt. As those words carved themselves into her brain, they also somehow carefully cradled the fire in her heart, helping her reach a balance she had only ever dreamed of. So right now, she did not care what he believed or did not believe in. As long as she could see the love in his eyes, she would be the happiest she can ever be.
"Is that enough?" he asked politely, as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
And there was only one answer she would give him for that.
"Yes," she screamed happily against his lips that met hers half way through. She couldn't care less about such a private moment taking place in his office of all places. And neither did he, she figured, since he was not resisting. In fact, that thought would never cross his mind for a long long time.
A/N : If you like this, leave me a review dear readers.