Notes: I lost track of the length of the chapter since I was having so much fun writing it ?
In the middle of the night, Billy starts awake in a panic when he feels Roman's arm holding him. He quickly looks over his shoulder at Roman, trying to catch his breath.
"What is it?" he asks in a soft voice. His heart is racing, and he feels a lump rise up in the back of his throat. He's still in a state of half-dream, and he looks into Roman's cold, blank stare. He can see the darkness behind his eyes, and it scares him.
"Relax" Roman says, holding him tightly and moving closer to him. He slips his other arm under Billy to hold him closer. "It's cold, that's all." He whispers in Billy's ear.
Billy relaxes a little bit as Roman holds him close, but it's only temporary as he still feels the cold grip of fear inside of him. He feels the pressure of Roman's arm around his body, and his heart rate begins to increase once more.
"Y-yeah, I guess," he whispers back. "Sorry, I just... I was..." he lets the sentence trail off, and again he's filled with fear of what Roman might do to him. "I'll stay... I'll stay close," he says quietly, pressing a little bit closer to Roman for warmth.
"Good boy" Roman whispers, caressing absently his belly.
Billy flinches at the touch of Roman's hand on his stomach, making a small squeak of surprise. He's not comfortable with the feeling of Roman's hand on him, as it only reminds him of how much power Roman has over him at this moment. He feels trapped and helpless, and his entire body is tense, ready to break away at any moment if he feels Roman touch him again.
"I'm... not a boy," he whispers softly, still pressing himself into Roman in order to keep warm. "I'm a man."
Roman chuckles a bit sleepy.
"That's right, sorry" he says, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
"It's okay," Billy says softly, looking up at Roman with a light smile. He feels more comfortable when he sees the faint smirk on Roman's face, and he relaxes a small amount, feeling his fear and anxiety start to melt away.
"So... I guess we will go back to sleep then?" He asks quietly, still resting against Roman after the scare he gave him.
"Hmm?" Roman asks, resting his head in the crook of Billy's neck. "Unless you have other ideas..." he whispers.
Billy pauses for a moment, wondering if Roman's words have a meaning deeper than the apparent. He doesn't know what the other man is planning, and he has no idea what might happen next.
"I... I think I just want to sleep for a while," he says softly. A little tension returns to his voice, as he's a bit worried that Roman might try something else in the middle of the night. "Is that okay with you?"
"Sleep all you want, Billy" Roman whispers in a sleepy tone. He holds Billy tighter.
Billy relaxes a little bit when Roman says that.
"Thanks," he mumbles softly. He takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly, trying to settle himself back down. He's not used to being this close to someone, especially someone like Roman, who he's not sure how much he can trust. In a way, it's comforting to have someone else so close to him, but there's also a part of him that feels uneasy about it.
He lets out a small sigh, his eyes slipping shut as he slowly falls back into a deep, peaceful sleep.
Billy wakes up and looks around the room, his eyes unfocusing as the blurry shapes in the room turn into recognizable objects. He sees Roman still lying next to him, and he feels a brief moment of surprise before he remembers where he is and how he got there.
He sits up in the bed and stretches his arms, his heart rate slowing down to a normal speed after the rush of fear that came over him last night.
"Good morning," he mumbles softly, still half asleep.
Roman opens one eye and looks at him.
"Are you done sleeping?" he asks in a raspy voice, chuckling a little.
"Yeah, I'm done sleeping," Billy says with a yawn, still feeling a bit groggy. It takes his tired mind a moment to fully wake up, and he gives Roman a small smile as he stretches his arms again. "How long have you been up?" he asks with a sigh, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He sits up a little more, trying to wake himself up as he talks.
"Nothing, I barely wake up now that you moved," Roman says, sitting up. He rubs his face, thinking. "That was good, for a change."
"Huh?" Billy tilts his head slightly in confusion, feeling a bit confused about what this means. "What was good for a change?" he asks with a soft smile, looking at Roman curiously. He can sense that Roman's tone is a little bit more warm than usual, and he appreciates the sudden change.
He can't help but feel a bit of hope inside of him that this change won't only be temporary.
"Not sleeping alone," Roman says, shrugging his shoulders. He looks at Billy with a stoic expression. "Maybe I should tie you to the bed and don't let you go." he says in a firm tone.
A chill runs down Billy's spine and his heart races as he hears these words. The prospect of being helpless and unable to move freaks him out, and the thought of being trapped in the apartment with Roman fills him with a feeling of dread.
He takes a step back from the bed, his voice catching in his throat.
"Don't..." he whispers softly, not fully able to articulate how he feels. His voice is filled with fear, and his eyes dart around the room, looking for an escape.
Roman studies him for a second and then he laughs.
"You really believe I would do that" he says, shaking his head. "I guess that joke about being a cop destroyed any chance of trust between us."
Billy stares at Roman as he laughs. His fear slowly dies down as he realizes that Roman won't actually lock him up in the apartment, and a small smile finds his features.
"I guess so," he says faintly. "It was just... you gave me such a good scare last night. It's hard to trust you after you've done something like that."
He's starting to feel more comfortable around Roman again, and there's a hint of relief in his voice.
"Sounds fair" Roman says, standing out of the bed, with a smirk on his face. " I'll do breakfast, you can take a shower if you want."
Billy pauses for a moment, his eyes wide with surprise at Roman's sudden kindness and the offer of breakfast.
"Really? You're making breakfast?" he asks, unable to suppress a smile but trying to keep his guard up. He doesn't know what has gotten into Roman, and he's wary of getting too comfortable around him. But for the moment, he's happy to see that Roman is in an at least somewhat amicable mood. "Okay, thanks, I'll go take a shower." He starts walking to the bathroom, taking a deep breath as he goes to calm his nerves.
Half an hour later, Billy finishes showering and walks out of the bathroom, feeling refreshed and much more awake than he had been before. He stops for a moment, looking around as he sees that Roman has made breakfast. He smiles to himself as he sees that Roman wasn't lying.
He walks over and sits down at the table, looking at the plate that Roman has gotten for him. It's a simple breakfast of bacon and scrambled eggs, but it looks appetizing.
Roman sits in front of him, eating in silence. He has a stoic expression, without his glasses on.
"Is everything okay?" Billy asks, noticing that the normally snarky Roman seems to be very stoic today. He seems serious and a bit cold, and Billy is a bit uncomfortable with the change in mood. Billy keeps eating quietly, but he can't help but glance over at Roman from time to time.
He doesn't want to poke the bear, but he wonders what's wrong. Billy knows that Roman isn't always the nicest person, but he's never been this serious before. It all seems just a little too much like Roman is angry about something.
"Is it?" Roman asks, leaving his food aside and reclining into the chair. He looks at Billy's eyes with a blank expression.
"What am I supposed to say?" Billy asks softly, getting a bit defensive. The sudden change in tone and the coldness that Roman has in his eyes only exacerbates his tension.
Billy is getting the sense that whatever he says will be the wrong thing, and he feels himself shutting down again. He stops eating his food for the moment as he looks down at the table, staring at his hands in his lap and not letting himself look up at Roman.
"Are you mad at me?" he finally asks quietly, his entire body tensed as he awaits Roman's answer.
"Why are you so scared of me?" Roman asks in a stern tone, not looking away. He crosses his arms and waits for Billy's answer, his eyebrows raised.
"You've given me every reason to be scared of you," Billy replies, his voice soft and low. The coldness in Roman's reply only makes his tense nerves flare up again, and he feels a chill run down his spine.
Looking at Roman's stoic expression, he wonders if he's just given the wrong answer. He doesn't want Roman to be angry with him, but he can't help but feel uneasy about how much Roman seems to enjoy terrifying him.
He doesn't understand how or why Roman would want to be so cruel.
"Have I?" Roman asks, not looking away and barely blinking. His jaw looks tense.
"Yes, you have," Billy whispers, staring at Roman's face and feeling afraid as he sits across from the older man. He doesn't see much kindness in Roman's eyes, and as he stares into them all he can feel is a cold, empty sensation filling him. Billy tries to stand his ground as he looks back at Roman, but deep down he knows that he's afraid of the older man."You enjoy terrifying me, and it's a little scary to be around someone like that," he whispers quietly.
"Why?" Roman asks, a hint of amusement in his voice. "You enjoyed terrifying your victims before you killed them, Billy. You treated them like little toys."
Billy's heart stops as he hears these words. He tries to deny the accusation, but it doesn't come out of his mouth. He can't deny it.
He did enjoy terrorizing people before killing them, and he realizes that he is no better than Roman.
"I... yeah. I did," he says softly, still looking down at the table. An awkward silence fills the room as he processes these words and the guilt and shame that comes with them.
He suddenly feels his hands shaking a little.
"Shouldn't we both be laughing at this, Billy?" Roman asks, with a little smirk on his face.
"We should? Why?" Billy tries not to sound defensive, but he knows it's too late for that. As he looks up at Roman, he finally lets these words sink in. He is no better than Roman, and they both enjoy hurting and scaring people.
Billy tries to deny it, but he knows that Roman's right. He can't help but feel a bit ashamed now that he's seeing the parallels between him and Roman in such a clear light.
Roman's smirk vanishes from his face. He stands up abruptly and walks around the table with a stoic expression, not looking away from Billy's eyes. He stops behind his chair, putting his hands on Billy's shoulders.
Billy jumps as he feels the contact, his fight or flight instinct kicking in. He tries to keep himself calm, but his whole body feels tense at the sudden and very unexpected touch from Roman.
He finds himself freezing up in fear as he looks up at Roman with a look of horror and surprise in his eyes. He can feel his eyes widening, and his hands clench tightly at his lap as he looks up at Roman, waiting for more.
He's too terrified to ask, but the one question is on his lips. "What are you doing?"
"You owe me, Billy," Roman says into his ear. He takes the knife from Billy's plate from the table and looks at it with a smirk. "You made me think we had something and then you never looked for me in six years... Now you act all scared around me... You make me so angry, Billy"
"I owe you for what?" Billy asks quietly, his heart racing as he sees that Roman has taken the knife from the table and is now holding it in his hand.
He sits up a little taller, eyeing the sharp blade warily. He feels his body tense up and the urge to run rises in him, but he tries to stay rooted in place as he doesn't want to give Roman the satisfaction.
Billy wonders if now's the time to try and bargain with Roman. He doesn't want to end up dead, and he has no idea what Roman will do.
"Billy, you know what I'm talking about," Roman chuckles, bringing the knife closer and pointing at Billy's throat with it. "You owe me."
The cold metal is cold against Billy's skin as the sharp blade is brought closer to his throat. He feels his blood run cold and his heart beat even faster as the knife is pushed against his skin, his heart threatening to pound out of his chest.
He shakes his head slightly, his voice quiet and shaky. He can barely get these words out, and he knows that one wrong move could end up killing him.
"I... I don't..." he begins, but he can't seem to continue. He's too scared to move or say anything else.
"You have guts to tell me you don't, uh?" Roman says chuckling. His other hand leaves his shoulders and holds a bunch of Billy's hair. "Tell me, Billy. How have you survived these past five years in the streets?" he looks at Billy with a cold expression.
Billy winces as Roman yanks on his hair, and his face contorted in agony.
"I did... a lot... of things," He manages to get out. Though he hates the fact that he's doing it, he also doesn't want to die at the hands of Roman. He feels himself choking up, but he manages not to cry in front of him. "I.. I...I was alone. It got really, really bad." He finds it hard to speak, and his voice gets even more shaky as he talks.
"What kind of things, Billy? Talk like the adult you are..." Roman demands.
Billy gulps, looking up at Roman's menacing facade. His mind is racing as he thinks about how to answer this question. He knows that Roman is ruthless, and he knows that whatever he says could be used against him.
He can feel a wave of panic rush through him as he realizes this, but he tries to fight it down and not let Roman see how scared he is. He tries to stay calm as he looks up at the older man.
"I did bad things... to survive. I stole... and..."
He trails off, unable to bring himself to finish the sentence.
"Did you whore yourself out, Billy?" Roman asks accusatory.
The question takes Billy by surprise, and for a moment he seems too dumbfounded to speak. His mind spins as he tries to formulate an answer, and his heart rate goes even faster. His body tenses up again, and he lets out a shaky breath.
"No. No, I didn't do that," he says, his voice sounding a little bit more sure of itself. His body is still tense and his mind is racing, but he's glad to see that he's standing up for himself a little bit better, even though he's terrified.
Roman studies his face for a moment.
"Why not?" He asks in a more soft tone. " Did you think it was more undignified than stealing or killing people?" He lowers the knife for a moment.
"I.. uh..." Billy is surprised by the change in tune, as he didn't expect Roman to go from his earlier cruel and cold demeanor to his softer. "I guess," he replies carefully, "I guess I just wanted to keep some part of my dignity..."
Billy tries to think of something else to say, but he's too shocked by the shift in tone to say much else.
Roman snorts.
"But you never had dignity, Billy" he says, looking straight into his eyes with amusement "Even before you killed. What dignity can you keep when you have none?"
Something about this accusation hurts Billy more than any of the accusations or insults that Roman has ever thrown at him before. He's been accused of many horrible things, and he's had many insults thrown at him over the years.
But none of those accusations have stung as harshly as what Roman has just said to him. He had never believed that before, but now he's wondering if it might be true.
He feels a pit of despair opening up in his chest as he looks at Roman's eyes, and his hands begin to shake again as a pained expression crosses his face.
"It would have been actually smart to sell yourself, you would have made more money than stealing" Roman says, rubbing his head. "And you could have learned a lot, too... Were you saving yourself for someone, Billy?" He asks, with a knowing and mocking look in his eyes.
Billy finds his face flushing at Roman's question, as it makes him acutely aware of just how little he's been able to trust over the years. He feels a wave of embarrassment wash over him as he has to admit that yes, he had always told himself that he was saving himself for someone, but he had always deep down known that it wasn't reciprocated.
"I guess I just never found someone... who I think... would want me," he replies quietly, his head bowing down a little bit as he tries to avoid looking at Roman.
Roman inclines his head, studying him.
"So... Are you a virgin?" He still has his hand on Billy's hair and the knife in the other. "With men, I mean..." Roman's face comes closer. "Have you let other man fuck you?"
The question, both cruel and vulgar, does nothing to deter a surge of panic that fills Billy's body. As usual, he tries to keep his head strong and his composure intact. But at the question, he starts to become very nervous and afraid. His body starts shaking as a chill runs down his spine, and his hands start to shake more violently as he sits across from Roman.
"No!" Billy finally snaps at the man, sounding much angrier than he had intended. He has never lost his temper in front of Roman, and he knows that this could end badly for him.
Roman frowns at his answer.
"No what, Billy?" He grips the hair tighter in a violent way. "You better start answering with sentences. I don't like doing all the chat" he snorts.
Billy shivers as Roman grips on his hair, forcing himself to take a deep breath before answering. He feels like he has to be careful with his words as he has a feeling that anything he says could end up being used against him. But he knows that he's stuck here, and so he must comply to an extent.
He takes another deep breath.
"No, I never did that," he responds. He's trying to keep his voice even, but he's still shaking and is afraid that his emotions will get the better of him.
"Never did what, Billy?" Roman insists.
"Never slept with another man," Billy replies, his voice strained but loud. He still shakes as the fear grips him, but he thinks that he must stand up for himself to an extent.
Billy feels his anger seeping through, but he forces himself to keep it down and not let it come out. He tries to keep his tone even, as if he's not afraid at all, even though he's shaking inside and is more frightened than he's been in a long time.
"That's a lie, you slept with me until this morning." Roman rolls his eyes, smirking. "Use the right words, Billy. They're just words."
It takes Billy a moment to understand what Roman meant by that, and the realization seems to hit him like a train.
As he understands the meaning behind the words, his face turns bright red, and a wave of embarrassment rushes through him like never before. He feels like hiding under the table, but he knows that he has to stay composed and keep looking Roman in the eye. Finally, he finds the courage to look up at Roman and mutter a quiet,
"Yes. I guess you're right."
He feels like he's just sold his soul to the devil.
"So what about other things?" Roman asks, leaning even closer. "Have you... Sucked dicks, for example?"
A fresh wave of shock washes over Billy's body as he thinks about the question that Roman has just asked him. He's never expected the other man to ask him that sort of question, and he can feel himself turning bright red in embarrassment.
He shifts around in his seat a bit and clears his throat, trying to compose himself as he tries to find the words to answer Roman's question.
"N-No, I haven't," he finally mutters, still feeling his entire face heat up at the question.
"No?" Roman asks, faking surprise. "That's a shame, your lips look perfect for cocksucking, Billy" he says, resting the knife's point in Billy's lower lip.
"W-what?" The sudden bluntness of Roman's words takes Billy by surprise, and he feels his face heat up all over again as he takes in Roman's comment.
He gulps, his throat suddenly feeling like it has been filled with cotton balls. As he sits there, he wonders what in the world Roman would even say that. The older man's words have made him feel both humiliated and ashamed, even though he knows that he shouldn't, and he can't help but blush at his words.
"So, Billy, let's say that I have a lot of money here to pay for it. " Roman says in a nonchalant tone, looking straight into his eyes. "Would you let me fuck you?" He smirks. "Think of this as a business, Billy." He chuckles.
"No, f-fuck off!" Billy spits out, a moment of anger crossing his mind as he finally snaps at Roman.
He's never yelled at Roman before and he feels ashamed for being so loud and abrupt, but his temper got the better of him.
As the words leave his mouth, he feels a little more calm, and he feels glad that he finally stood up for himself and stopped Roman from bullying him for at least a moment.
He waits for the inevitable wrath he's sure is coming.
Roman sighs and lets go of his hair, standing straight.
"Why not?" He asks in a steely tone, his eyes cold and menacing. "Think carefully your answer, Billy" he says, throwing the knife over the table, but far enough out of Billy's reach.
Billy gulps, trying to steady his breathing and keep his heart rate normal.
He thinks for a moment, knowing that he should probably choose his next words carefully even though he feels his anger seeping through. He thinks and thinks for a moment, trying to construct a carefully worded response, but in the end, he decides that maybe being honest wouldn't be so bad.
"Because I don't want to," he answers finally, his voice sounding resolute as he looks up at Roman. He tries to keep an even tone, but that's difficult as his heart is thumping away violently.
Roman looks at his eyes, thinking, and then he chuckles. "Tell me, Billy. Do you enjoy getting your ass beaten?" He asks, his face coming closer to Billy's. "I'm tempted to beat the crap out of you and fuck your brains out, but I'm not sure what you would enjoy more." he says, grinning.
Billy gulps slightly as his heart rate picks up again, but he doesn't seem to be able to stop himself from talking in this situation.
He tries his best to stay composed and to sound strong and in control, but he can hear the cracks in his voice even as he manages to utter the words.
"No, I... I don't think I would..." he replies. That was the best he could do in that situation. He didn't like the way it came out, and he hated hearing how scared he sounded. But he had no choice but to be honest now.
"You don't sound so sure, you know?" Roman says, his hand gripping Billy's chin with strength. "Maybe we should try both so you have a better opinion. What do you say? What do you want first?"
The older man's hand on his chin forces Billy to look him in the eye, and the intense stare feels like it's burning a hole through his eyes. He hates every single second of it, and he has no idea what to expect.
He feels a fresh wave of fear wash over him, feeling like he might throw up at any moment. But for the moment, all he can do is reply.
"Neither! I want neither!" he says, trying to sound defiant as he looks at Roman.
Roman smirks.
"Not that I need your permission. Actually, I'm sure I could do anything I wanted with you and nobody would care." He says, his face so close that his noses are touching. "Let's face it, Billy. Nobody ever cared about you and you know it."
As he hears Roman's words, Billy feels the last of his defenses crumble, and he stares into Roman's eyes with a mix of anger, pain, and despair.
In the end, he knows that Roman is right, not having anyone left to protect him, not having anyone who cares about him at all.
In that moment, he realizes just how alone he really is, and the realization that he has nothing and nobody left is one that completely crushes him.
"You're silent..." Roman whispers. "Hmm, that must have hurt you" he chuckles. He lets go of Billy's chin and walks away towards the bedroom.
As Roman walks to the bedroom, Billy simply sits there stunned and unable to move.
His entire life, no, his entire world has come crashing down around him. And he feels so powerless.
He had never realized just how alone he was until this moment, and he doesn't know how to feel about that. All he knows is that something has broken inside of him.
"Nobody ever cared about you..."
Roman doesn't come back for various minutes and everything is in silence.
Billy sits there waiting for him for what feels like an eternity. He feels like he should probably go and check on him and see what he's doing, but it feels like he can never move again.
Every second that passes feels like it's dragging on for forever, and his heart is racing inside of his chest the entire time.
The words that Roman had said to him still echo in his mind.
"Nobody ever cared about you..."
The weight of them feels like thousands of pounds.
Roman comes back with his hands in his pockets, a smirk on his face. "Was that enough time for you to cry?" He asks in a soft tone. "I thought I'd give you some minutes since you live under the illusion you have some dignity to save." He chuckles.
Billy feels something snap inside of him at that. He knows that Roman is right about him not having an ounce of dignity left, but still, those words sting so much as they cut deep into him.
He looks up at Roman, still shaking, but an intense and almost murderous hatred flashing in his eyes.
"Screw you..." he says in a hateful tone.
"Why are you mad at me, Billy?" Roman asks, stopping a few steps from him and crossing his arms. "You did this to yourself."
The words cut like a knife straight into his gut, and the pain is all too sudden in its intensity. Billy's hands clench into fists, and he feels a violent hatred rising from inside of him as he meets Roman's eyes with a fiery gaze.
"Just shut up!" he says loudly, glaring at him with such a vicious look of hatred and rage that it's almost like his eyes could burn holes into Roman's head.
"Make me shut up, Billy." Roman says, shrugging. "Though I'm pretty sure there's nothing we can do about the voices in your own head telling you all the things I told you , which was nothing you didn't know." he walks a couple of steps closer.
"Maybe you're right," Billy replies, although his voice is still filled with hate and rage. "But it wasn't necessary," he replies, his tone still full of venom. He looks up at Roman, still shaking with anger. "Do you take pride in kicking people while they're down? I mean... is that what turns you on?"
He hates the words that are rolling out of his mouth, but he can't stop himself from ranting. The rage just boils over and out of him, and as he speaks, he feels like he's losing control.
"Are you interested in what turns me on?" Roman asks amused, walking another step closer. "Why? Have you thought better of my offering?"
"Shut up!" Billy spits out as his feelings get the better of him again.
He hates the way Roman is coming closer and closer to him, and even though he knows he wouldn't be able to actually do anything against him, he's not going to shut up as he's bullied. He's not going to let Roman have this kind of power over him.
"You're disgusting," he says, the hatred in his voice so strong that his voice sounds like it's going to break.
"I'm not," Roman says, shaking his head. "You wouldn't be here if I were, Billy. You even let me hold you the whole night" he snorts in a cruel mode. "I'm pretty sure you want me, you're holding onto an illusion of dignity at this point..." he sighs, choosing his words. "It's gonna be your doom." he stands in front of Billy now.
"What kind of sick game is this?" Billy asks, his voice shaking with pure hatred.
He still hates every single word that Rome is saying, but a part of him is also curious about where Roman is going with this.
Billy doesn't know if this is some weird manipulation tactic, or if Roman is just looking to get under his skin, but it seems to be working well enough that he just can't manage to keep himself from speaking.
"Go to hell!" He shouts as the words pour out of his mouth.
"It's not a game" Roman whispers.
"No? What is it then?" Billy asks, glaring at Roman as he stands his ground.
He still hears the hatred in his own voice, and he wonders if maybe he's taking it too far.
But he knows that he probably doesn't have enough self-control to stop himself from shouting and screaming. He always loses his temper, even though he tries so hard not to.
"What do you want from me then?" He asks.
"It's a reality check," Roman says in a calm, sincere tone. He lifts his hand to rest on Billy's cheek. "And you know what I want."
Billy's face flushes bright red as Roman touches him, feeling his blood start to boil like hot water running through him.
That's the only way he can describe it. When their fingertips touch, something inside him feels like it's on fire, and he feels a new wave of embarrassment and pain wash over him.
"I told you already. I'm not interested," he hisses, feeling like he's about to be sick. He doesn't like the way he's feeling or the way he's acting, but he can't stop himself.
Roman nods a couple of times, looking away. He drops his hand and smirks.
"Well, you can't say I didn't try the nice way." he says in a steely voice, his eyes cold and menacing. He makes an attempt to turn around but stops, and slaps Billy's cheek with such a strength that Billy drops to the floor. "I guess I'll give you reasons to be scared of me now."
The slap causes his head to ring and his vision to go black for a moment, and he feels like his cheek is on fire.
He hates Roman's guts.
He hates his guts.
He hates him so much.
But this? He feels something worse. Hate is one thing. He can almost manage it in some strange way. But this is something else. Fear. He feels genuine fear right now, like nothing he's ever known before.
This is terrifying.
"Get up, Billy. Are you that weak?" Roman asks, his voice devoid of any emotion, as he walks closer.
His cheek is in pain from the slap that Roman gave him, but he tries to put the pain aside as he climbs himself back up to his feet.
"I'm not weak" he spits at Roman, trying to stand up tall and trying to appear unphased, which he's sure that he fails at doing.
His heart is still racing and his legs feel like they want to run away, but instead, he stays still and stares into Roman's cold, cruel eyes.
"Is that so?" Roman steps in front of him. "You should learn to pick your fights wisely, you know? There's moments to be stubborn and there's moments to lower your head." he keeps talking in the same cold voice hale has been using. "I thought you were smart."
"So there's moments where I should just bow down to you?!" Billy asks, his voice rising in a way that he doesn't quite recognize. He hates himself for getting so worked up over this, but all he can do is scream and shout at Roman.
It feels like his brain is going crazy inside of his head, and he feels himself getting more and more angry at every word that Roman says to him. He hates that he's allowed himself to get this angry already, but it's just so hard to control his emotions.
Roman grips his t-shirt's neck and slams him against the wall with fury, though his face remains expressionless.
"Exactly."
Billy's head hits the wall with a loud THUMP, and his eyes briefly roll back into his head at the force of the impact. His ears are ringing, and for a moment, he can do nothing but pant and try to recover, but that doesn't stop him from feeling the fear coursing through every single vein in his body.
"Please..." he pants after a few moments, "please just leave me alone."
His voice is shaky and quiet, but it's the most genuine thing that he's said up to this point.
"The time for bargaining is over, Billy." Roman says, hitting the wall beside Billy's head. He speaks close to his face. "You've been all this time acting as if I were a monster, when you're the criminal here."
"You are a monster!" Billy screams as anger builds inside of him, "You're just hiding it..."
He feels his body tremble with every word. He wants so badly to sound in control and tough, but he's aware of the fact that his emotions are getting the better of him.
His eyes are wide as he stares at Roman, the anger in his eyes a burning anger.
But even though he's angry, he's also afraid. He feels like he's powerless against Roman, and it only makes him hate him even more.
Roman smirks again and slams him against the wall again.
"At this point I'm starting to think you like getting your ass kicked, Billy" Roman chuckles.
"Screw you," Billy says before he's slammed into the wall again.
He hates the tone of his voice, and he hates that he keeps getting thrown around so easily, but that is exactly what's happening.
Something snaps within him, and after he manages to push himself back up, he lunges forwards and grabs Roman by his collar.
"Do not touch me!" he seethes, feeling the hate and rage burning inside of him once more. His hands are shaking, and he knows that whatever he does right now, he might regret it.
Roman grips his arms tightly and throws him towards the table, laughing a little bit.
"I can't keep my hands off you... Sorry."
Billy lands hard on the ground, feeling a sharp pain in his shoulder. Billy is enraged and ready to scream again, but as Roman's laughter rings in his ears, he stays quiet.
He hates that he's letting himself be walked on. He hates that he's letting someone like Roman control him. He hates it. He's always hated any situation that he can't control, and he hates how much this hurts him.
He feels tears welling in his eyes, and he blinks them away.
"You're pathetic." Roman says, crouching beside him. "We could be having fun together if you weren't so stubborn" he gripes Billy's hair to lift his head. "Now only I am having fun, see?"
"Screw... you..." Billy says, barely breathing as he stares up at Roman. The tears are flowing freely down his cheeks now, and he hates how embarrassed and afraid he feels right now. He's being pathetic.
He's letting this guy walk all over him, and he hates every single second of it.
"Just... Let me go" he says meekly, his voice shaking with sadness, fear, and rage. "Please."
"I can't, Billy" Román whispers with a malicious grin on his face. "Look at you! Now that I've seen how pretty you look when crying, I can't stop."
He feels his whole body tremble as Roman whispers into his ear like that, the cold, calm way that he says the words sending a shiver down his spine that's somehow worse than any of the pain that he's already endured thus far.
"Please... Just let me go," he croons weekly, his voice shaking with rage and fear, tears still flowing freely down his cheeks. His whole body is trembling with shame, fear, and grief, and he can't bear it anymore.
Roman leans into his face and, to Billy's shock, licks his tears from his skin.
Billy is startled by this, and he can't help but feel even more fear as Roman comes so close to him like this, the cold, cruel way that he's looking at him sending a shiver down his spine that runs through every inch of his flesh.
His eyes are wide with shock and fear, and the idea of Roman licking the tears off his face is repulsive and terrifying in equal measures.
"No. No, no, no," he says softly. "Don't... don't lick me..." he says quietly.
Roman chuckles, the vibration caressing Billy's skin. "Okay,Billy, okay." He murmurs, smiling. "I'll drive you somewhere, like I said I would. Unlike you, I keep my promises" he says nonchalantly as he clears Billy's hair from his face.
Billy's eyes are wide with fear, and with the shock of Roman touching him so gently and with such kindness, he almost forgets to be afraid of him.
Almost.
He doesn't let himself forget what Roman has done to him, and what he's capable of that so easily.
He nods and tries to get to his feet, although he feels like he might fall over at any moment.
"Okay..." he manages to say as he looks into Roman's eyes for a moment, before looking away again.
Roman stands up, smiling. He looks at Billy intently for a moment and then suddenly he slaps his face again, Billy's he
ad hitting the floor. He loses consciousness again, and the last thing he can see is Roman's cruel glare.
This can't be happening, he thinks over and over within the darkest depths of his mind.
He can't let Roman win.
He won't lose this.