Notes: T/W: explicit sex, non consent. YEAH, NON CONSENT. Also, don't take my writing as a sexual education material.
Not betae'd, I will once I finish the story. I guess this one will have 4/5 chapters more and that's it. Just a side story.
Billy prepares himself for whatever is about to happen, his mind swimming with questions and possibilities as he stares ahead with the same cold apathy, even though underneath the fear and the anger is bubbling up inside of him, waiting to be released.
He knows that this feels like hell, but he refuses to give in, refuses to show Roman that he is feeling miserable. The less Roman knows about him, the better.
"Where are we going?" he says, his voice sounding cold and numb. "What even makes me so special?"
Roman doesn't say a word as they come to a stop. Billy just stares ahead, silent and waiting, as the sense of fear in his grows. Whatever Roman is planning for him, he's going to have to deal with it.
As the car stops, Billy tries to keep all of his emotions from coming out. He refuses to let Roman see him afraid, angry, in pain… Because that's what Roman wants, and he won't let him have that.
He stares ahead, waiting for whatever comes next, feeling his heart fill with dread. He's terrified, he's terrified, and he doesn't even know what's coming.
Roman takes something from the glove compartment and gets out of the car. He opens the door from the back seat and Billy can see a roll of duct tape in his hands. Behind Roman, he can see the small building of apartments, realizing that they were going to Roman's apartment again.
"That's what you were constantly looking for, wasn't it, Billy?" Roman asks as he cuts a piece of tape and puts it over Billy's mouth. "To be special somehow…" His voice and look are mocking with malice.
When the duct tape is suddenly put over his mouth, and then the world is filled with silence, as he's forced to keep his thoughts inside his head. He struggles against the tape, but it's solid and stuck in place.
Billy tries to say something, to protest, anything, but he can't. All he can feel is his heart beating, like it's about to tear through his chest. All he can hear is the quiet of his thoughts.
He stares at Roman, hatred and rage and fear boiling deep inside of him.
"Well, I hope you can walk your way inside in silence." Roman says, gripping his hair and pulling him outside the car, not caring about Billy's sprained ankle at all. "The other option is to break your other ankle, so you'll have a reason to make a sound. Am I clear?" He asks, his face too close to Billy's.
Billy nods his head, the duct tape making it impossible for him to answer any other way. He glares at him, hatred and fear filling his eyes. He would rather not follow, but he has no other choice, not right now.
"You are…" he tries to say, his voice muffled behind the tape.
"I take it as an agreement" Roman says, letting go of his hair. "Not that anyone is going to hear you…" he mutters. There's no one in the reception or in the hall. There hasn't been anyone every time Billy has been in this building, though it's always been at night.
Billy follows, limping alongside him, trying his best not to make any noise as he looks around at his surroundings, his heart still racing with fear and hatred, even though he can't say a word.
He glares at Roman, and he wants nothing more than to wipe that smug look off his face.
Roman opens the door and gestures to Billy to go inside.
"Get in, feel like home." he says with a smirk.
Billy looks at him for a long moment, staring at him in hatred and disgust, trying to fight back his feelings of fear by just focusing his hatred towards the monster right in front of him. And then he walks inside, following Roman's gesture into the apartment, trying to stay strong despite everything.
"That isn't what home feels like, Roman," he spits through the tape, still angry and spiteful after all this time.
"I didn't get a word of what you said, but I hope it's something like 'Thanks for your hospitality'" Roman chuckles, locking the door. "Come in," he says, walking towards the bedroom.
Billy follows him into the bedroom, the hatred in his heart only growing as he moves towards the room.
He stares at Roman with contempt, and he knows that he's losing the fight, and his mind fills with the same old sense of fear and terror, knowing that this will end badly for him, and that Roman has the power here.
He feels like he's going insane. How can he just stand here? How can he just let this happen? Why is he so powerless? It's like he's in a horror movie, but all he can do is watch.
Roman looks at him with a satisfied and smug smile.
"You've done a good job following my orders now." he says in a friendly and mocking tone. "I'll take the tape from you, but be careful of what you say to me. Any insult will make things worse for you." he warns, looking at Billy's eyes with a menacing glare.
Billy glares back, feeling his hatred for this man grow increasingly with every moment that goes by. He wants to say something, to shout or hit him or spit in his face, but he knows he can't, as Roman removes the tape from his mouth. He's angry and disgusted and bitter, but that's all he can do.
"Fine," he says, as the words come out like venom. He's furious, filled with rage. "I'll play by your rules."
Roman raises his eyebrows.
"I never said there were rules, Billy." he laughs. He takes off his coat and leaves it on the desk, he takes the keys of the handcuff and Billy's knife from the pocket. He leaves the knife in the bed and opens the cuffs of only one hand. "Take off your clothes, Billy. They're pretty dirty." he says in Billy's ear.
"What?" For a second, he just stands there, his mind filled with shock and indignation and anger at what he thinks he might be about to hear. "W-what, do you mean take off my clothes? Why?"
He glares at Roman, and he doesn't make a move towards taking off his clothing yet.
"I meant you take them off willingly, or I'll rip them off from you, but that'll mean you won't have clothes after…" Roman laughs. "What do you choose? You have the chance to choose this time."
Billy flinches, feeling the blood rushing to his face, and he glares at Roman in cold fury.
"That's a pretty disgusting threat." he says, still in shock but also filled with cold rage. How could he say something like that? He feels anger boil up inside of him, but he forces himself to stay calm. "You're disgusting."
Still, he stands there. He's not quite sure what to do, and he's scared to making the wrong decision here.
Roman gives him a glare.
"I said no insults. " He says in a cold tone. "I can make you choose between my bad side or my sadistic side, too."
Billy flinches, and then he stares at him.
"And what would that entail, Roman?" he asks, trying to keep the venom in his voice, even though he's terrified and filled with rage and despair. "Give me another threat, show me that sadistic side you claim to have. Tell me how you'll punish me for standing up to you, for having the slightest bit of courage. Come on. Do it. Show me how cruel you are."
"You want to do it the hard way." Roman says with a grin. "I should have seen it coming…" He closes the cuffs again and takes the knife from the bed."Say goodbye to your clothes then." He starts to rip off his shirt.
Billy stares at him, and as he watches, his body flushes with humiliation, and he's not exactly sure why he feels that way, or why his face is hotter than a thousand suns, his heart beating out of his chest.
He doesn't speak, and he refuses to look away or look ashamed of what he looks like. That would be what Roman wants, and he won't give him the satisfaction of seeing him feel embarrassed.
"You should feed yourself better, Billy" Roman whispers, his eyes fixed on the cut he made in Billy's stomach when they were fighting. "You look terrible."
Billy's breath catches in his throat at the comment. Roman's voice hits him right in the gut, and he feels his heart sink. How dare he say something like that. How does he have the cheek?
"You make it sound like being skinny was a crime. You would know all about looking terrible," he says, his voice filled with anger and malice and loathing. "You're hideous." He glares at him, not feeling the least bit ashamed about his appearance anymore.
Roman laughs, surprised.
"You waste so much energy talking nonsense, Billy." he says amused, taking off the shirt completely. He presses his finger in Billy's wound. "I'm just worried about your health."
"Get your finger out of there!" He shouts, flinching forward out of instinct, even the pain in his ankle doesn't stop him from trying to move away. He stares at him, his face dark with rage, his mind filled with terror, but he refuses to show it. He won't let him see the pain. He won't let him see any weakness or vulnerability. And that's what he's trying to do right now: be strong and keep his emotions hidden, even though he's shaking and scared to his very core.
"Why? You said you wanted to see my sadistic side," Roman chuckles into his ear. He puts pressure into the wound again.
Billy groans in pain, unable to stop the noise coming out of his mouth from escaping. He glares at Roman, fury and rage and hatred boiling up within him.
"That wasn't what I meant…" he growls, trying to stay as strong as possible. He refuses to show weakness, but he's in agony.
"But it was what I meant, and you know it." Roman starts to take off Billy's trousers. "I thought I was clear."
"It's hard to think straight when you're hurting me, Roman!" he shouts, trying to pull away and struggling desperately to keep his pants on, hating that he's losing this fight.
His hatred for this man is growing by the second, along with the pain, humiliation, and rage he's feeling.
Roman pushes him over the bed to take off his shoes and trousers.
"You should work on your mental strength," he mutters. "You're probing to be more pathetic than what I expected."
"You'd know all about being pathetic, Roman!" he shouts, glaring up at him, feeling nothing but rage as he stares up with pure hatred in his eyes. "God, I hate you!" He's angry at himself for letting this happen, angry at the universe for creating someone who is hurting him so badly right now.
Roman looks at him with a smirk.
"If you knew me as I do know you, I would take your words into account. But what do you know about me, Billy?" he asks, raising one eyebrow. He chuckles while he turns Billy's body, leaving him face down on the bed, with his hands cuffed in his back. "You've always been so easy to read…" Roman mutters in his ear.
"And you've always been an awful person," he spits back, still laying on the bed face down. "You've always been this person, someone who likes seeing people suffer and is happy to inflict pain. That's you, Roman." He glares back at him, with all the emotions that have been bubbling up inside of him this whole time. "That's who you are."
"Billy, stop projecting on me. Everything you just said is who you are, not me." Roman chuckles into his ear, rubbing Billy's hair out of the way. "You don't know me. You've never tried to. And you always do the same, get in the car of an unknown person without knowing where they're driving you. I warned you about this when I met you, and you've learned nothing" he says, a hint of anger and frustration in his voice. "You should be smarter than this. And a bit less… desperate'' Roman laughs.
Billy flinches at the comment, feeling a deep sense of shame in his heart as the words of Roman sink in, as he realizes that maybe, just maybe, he can't deny the truth here, as bitter as it makes him feel.
He feels the color drain from his face, feeling anger mixed with shame, and also with humiliation, and a deep sense of hopelessness.
"I know," he whispers. "I've had a bad habit of making dumb decisions."he glares back at Roman, his whole body shaking with rage at himself and at this man, all the emotions rising inside of him like a storm cloud gathering on the horizon until it finally breaks.
Roman doesn't say anything, a bit taken aback by the confession. There's a hint of understanding in his eyes, but it lasts for an instant, as he blinks, quickly distancing himself from Billy's face.
Now Billy is the one taken aback by the shift in Roman's demeanor. For a moment, he thinks that maybe he can see a hint of… sympathy? And then it's gone, as Roman's face hardens again.
"I should have been smarter about this." He says after a moment, speaking quietly to him, although there's still a hint of embarrassment in his tone. "I know that I should have known better," he continues, the resentment in his heart growing with every second that passes. "I know that I should have been smarter. But I just…" His shoulders sag, and he looks down at the bed, filled with shame and guilt. "I just wanted someone to show me attention, I just wanted to feel like someone cared."
"I see," Roman says, in a low voice, as he starts to take off his clothes.
Billy glances upwards briefly, trying to keep his emotions hidden, but he knows that he's struggling. His rage has turned to shame, his anger has turned to self-loathing. He knows that he did this to himself, and he knows that the only person he can blame is himself.
He means what he's saying. He knows he's been reckless, and he's always been the type to jump into things too quickly, and his stupidity and naïveté have led him to this point of despair.
His head turns away, his emotions too much for him to handle. The shame, the humiliation, but also the sheer relief that Roman didn't react in the way he feared he would. He couldn't have handled another verbal jab from him.
"Just because I've made mistakes doesn't give you the right to do whatever you want to me."
"Shut up…" Roman mutters, but then he shakes his head, sighing in frustration. "You just need to relax." Roman reassured him, softly, fingers on his underwear. "I'll do all the work. "
The words that Roman said don't sound like the most reassuring, before he notices the way his fingers are moving, and he blushes a little, his breath coming a little more quickly than before, feeling the heat rise in his body once again.
His face burns, feeling like this could not get any more awkward or painful or humiliating.
"I'm… I'm not even sure that I want this," he speaks, quietly to Roman and to himself, feeling completely overpowered as he does. Billy does not want to be in this situation, and he hates everything about it, but he feels powerless to fight against it. "I'm… I'm not ready," he says, feeling tears burning like gasoline in the depths of his eyes.
Roman grips his hips with both hands and raises him onto his knees, then one of his hands is placed in the middle of Billy's back, between his shoulder blades, pushing down firmly.
"Loosen up," Roman kisses his neck and whispers in his ear as he slides his hands down Billy's back to rest under his thighs. "It will hurt less if you do." Roman chuckles into his ear. "You don't need to be so scared." That unbearably calm voice makes a ridiculous and futile attempt at comforting him.
There's something about the way that Roman tries to calm him that infuriates him, just makes his hatred grow. When Roman's hands are on him, and his voice is next to his ear, something in his heart seems to fill with fear. It's not just fear, either: it's the sinking sense of loss of control. He feels weak.
"I think being scared in this situation is pretty reasonable." he says, looking at Roman with hatred and feeling like he wants anything but this. "I'm sorry that my fear is inconvenient for you." he says in a sarcastic, spiteful voice, but even he can hear the fear in his voice. "I'm sorry that I'm not completely relaxed and okay with everything that's happening right now."
"You're so dramatic…" Roman chuckles.
He felt the cool hardness of Roman's cock slide along his crack, looking for his entrance and then finding it, resting with the tip just touching Billy's entrance. Billy's body went from helpless trembles to complete rigidness the moment that he felt Roman's heat nudge against him, his breath catching in his throat.
The older man lightly pushed against his resistance for a second, then withdrew with a sigh, placing a kiss on his shoulder blade.
"You are making this hard for me, Billy."Roman breathed into his captive's neck.
"Good. That's what I'm good at." he mutters, with a sense of bitterness in his voice. "This whole thing has been really hard for me," says Billy in a low voice, even though his voice is still shaking, "so I'll make it hard on you as well." he glares back at him with cold fury.
"It's not good." Roman says in a soft tone, resting his forehead between his nape and shoulder. "I don't want to hurt you more than necessary, Billy." He continues to trail light kisses along his damp skin. "You have to relax."
As Roman tries again, Billy understands very well that, at this point, letting him have his way would be the wisest course of action to try to get it over as quickly as possible. But his body simply tenses, refusing to give in.
"I'm not ready…"
He tries to relax, but he just can't. He wants this all to be over, yet at the same time, he would rather die than give Roman the satisfaction of seeing him give in. He hates the idea of letting Roman do this to him, even if all it means is that it will be over sooner.
"I can't believe you're making me do this…" Roman says in an incredulous tone, his hot breath hitting the nape of Billy's neck.
Billy felt Roman's weight lift from the bed and listened as the man moved quietly around the bed, only opening his eyes at the sound of a drawer. His hand was at his bedside cabinet, taking out a tube of lube.
Roman made him wait what seemed like ages, but was in reality only a few seconds, as he lubricated his cock, making it slippery and cold.
Roman suddenly gripped his hip with one hand and brought the other one forward for support as he leaned down, nuzzling his face into Billy's brown hair.
"It will go easier now." he whispered, in a perfectly even voice.
When his member touches Billy's crack, it makes him gasp and shudder involuntarily, his ass tensing automatically.
"I told you…" he tries again, his voice cracking a bit, "I'm not ready…"
He's shaking with anxiety, shaking with fear, but at the same time, he is trying his best to stay strong. If he loses control of himself right now, if he allows himself to be weak, to be scared, it'll only make things worse.
Roman doesn't thrust at him, he just gently leans towards Billy, his weight pressing the tip of his cock against the tightness of his sphincter. Billy can feel his ring expanding gradually, giving way to the pressure and slowly granting the invader admittance, until his sphincter gives way and the head of Roman's cock slid inside.
Roman doesn't seem to be in any hurry, pausing and giving his captive the opportunity to adjust every time he slid a little further into him.
The feeling of Roman's length pressing hard against his inner walls is tearing him apart, cutting off his breath. Billy clenches his teeth as Roman grips harder his hip, pushing in more.
Billy's heart feels like it's in his throat, all of his emotions churning together at once. There are so many things going through his mind right now, so many things he feels, and he doesn't know how to deal with all of them.
This is so much for him, and he just wishes he could shut it all off, just for a moment, and just allow himself a few seconds to gather himself, to think clearly, to be able to find a moment to focus.
"Please…"
Billy doesn't have the words to finish this sentence, but the word that he wants most, the word that would truly express his feelings if he allowed himself to speak them, is "stop."
The word is what he wants to shout out, what he would like to tell Roman right now, but the word refuses to come out of him.
"The way you fight against yourself, Billy…" Roman chuckles softly, the sound vibrating against Billy's skin . His slippery cock easily penetrates his rectum, sliding in until Billy could feel Roman's pubic hair tickling his bottom. "Stop thinking so much… Your brain is going to melt."
"Don't you dare tell me to stop thinking, Roman." he says, his voice cracking as he speaks. "If I stop thinking, I might start enjoying this." he glares back at him, hatred burning in his eyes, the fury of all of his emotions, all of his anger and resentment at Roman for what he's doing to him burning within his chest.
"Is that supposed to be a bad thing?" Roman whispers into Billy's ear, a barely noticeable yet strangely alluring huskiness roughening his voice. Roman leans down and presses an open-mouthed kiss to the nape of Billy's neck, as he pulls back until the head barely stays inside.
Billy doesn't want him to speak into his ear, yet there it is, the words and the tone are strangely alluring and addictive to hear, and he's not sure exactly why. The words alone are enough to send a chill running down his back.
He's fighting so hard to remain in control here. But he just can't, not with Roman's hands on him, not with his voice all husky and appealing, not when his body is betraying him.
"Yes…" He breathes deep, wanting the words to be stronger, and he tries again, his voice stronger. "I want you to regret every single thing you're doing to me right now. I do not want you to enjoy this."
At the same time, something inside of him flinches a bit when Roman kisses his neck, as though his brain is telling him to give in, and part of him knows that he probably could give in right now if he wanted to.
This is the thing Billy hates the most. Roman has a way of making him feel things, things that he hates to feel. There's a part of him that wants Roman to stop, sure, but there's a part of him that craves this. And it just makes him hate himself even more for how he feels.
His whole body screams at him that if he gives in and enjoys this that it will only give Roman even more power over him, that it will only make him feel even worse once it's all over.
This is wrong, but his body… his body is enjoying this, a little, and he has to keep reminding himself that that doesn't mean he's okay with the situation. Just because he's starting to relax a bit, that doesn't mean he's okay with this, that doesn't mean he likes this.
Roman is gentle on the pushback inside. He does not seem to be in any hurry, pausing and giving Billy the opportunity to adjust every time he slides into him. So, they went on like that for a bit. The gentle thrusts worked Billy open and relieved some pain.
Billy doesn't want it to feel good. He doesn't want this moment to feel good. A part of him fears the moment, the moment that he knows is going to come at some point today, the moment where he is going to lose all control over himself and all the hatred, the rage, and the fear will be swept away, leaving nothing but the pleasure in its wake. That is what he fears the most, more than anything that has already happened.
Billy knows a change of pace is coming when the hand that had been supporting Roman's weight is moved away, and he feels it press against the back of his neck. His eyes open slightly as he is pressed into the bed by his throat. Roman straightens his body to tower over him.
"Ready?" The older man asks, coldly.
It's less a question and more a statement, and he doesn't know whether it makes him angrier or more afraid. That Roman knows that he isn't ready and that he doesn't want this, but he's still going to do it anyway.
As much as he hates what's about to happen, he knows that he can't stop it.
"Do your worst."
Roman just smirked and shrugged at him. He began to thrust deep and hard into Billy with all his might, his hips slapping against his ass obscenely. The wet drag of tight heat around his cock had his head falling back in bliss and a groan escaping his throat.
Each thrust made Billy bite his lips to not let escape his shaky moans, those involuntary sounds seeming to come from deep inside him.
"You like it fast and hard, uh?" Roman sneers into Billy's ear slowly.
Billy finds himself at a loss for words, and can only respond with harsh breaths and low, angry noises, his lips pressed together in a thin line.
This is definitely not what he wanted, but at the same time, it feels good, and he hates that. He doesn't want it to feel good, but it does, and he hates himself for enjoying it even a little. His head pounds with shame."No,"his voice sounds like nothing but a husky whisper now, and his breath comes out in a low rasp. The sounds are painful to his ears, but they only reinforce what he already knows what he already hates. He hates the way that this is happening, he hates the way his whole body feels tight.
Roman snorts. He tugs the younger man up by his neck, pressing his back to his chest, without releasing his throat.
"You are loving this, Billy. I can see it all over your face and hear it in your voice." Billy can hear the smirk in Roman's voice, and he fucking hates it.
He pants under the pressure of Roman's hands, his throat hurting as he feels himself being forced back. What Roman is saying is not true. Or maybe it is.
But Billy is trying so hard to pretend it's not true. He wants to keep his hatred and his rage. He would like to keep his bitterness.
Not only that, but he hates that Roman is enjoying this so much. Why did he ever come back to Woodsboro? He wishes he could go back in time and convince himself to just stay away, just stay away for his own sake, just stay safe.
"I… fuck" Billy's his voice catches in his throat, and it turns into a moan by a particularly well-angled thrust. "Shut up."
The way his body is reacting to everything, the way he's enjoying this, it only makes him hate himself more for enjoying this against his better judgment.
"Tell me how much you hate me…" Roman pants, his hold in the other's throat tightening as he wraps his other arm around Billy's waist; continuing his assault on that angle, hitting that perfect spot deep inside Billy with primal rage. Billy groans and writhes in Roman's hold, but the arms trapping him don't allow him to move.
"I…" he tries, he does. Billy tries to say the words, to tell Roman how much he hates him, how much he hates everything that's happening right now.
But in the end, all that comes out is a loud, painful grunt of pleasure.
Roman tightens his hand around Billy's throat, his hips snaps up and into Billy with an animalistic ferocity, the wet drag of Billy's heat driving him insane. Roman feels the knot tightening in his stomach, and he knows he is getting close. He let his free hand wrap around Billy's desperate, neglected cock and pumps quickly. Billy's back arches, and he squirms with a wild, guttural moan.
"I… God…" he gasps, trying to speak, trying to say something.
But he feels that it is too late for words. All he can do now is groan and squirm, and let himself go completely.
Roman's damp forehead is firmly pressing into the crook of Billy's neck, as his well-measured rhythm gives way to more abrupt, unrestrained thrusts. Feeling the older man lose control inside him, covering his neck with shaky kisses in between sharp exhales, is all that Billy needed to finally send him over the edge.
They both came in white hot episodes of blindness. Roman screws his eyes shut tight, his teeth digging into Billy's skin, and Billy passes out for a moment, his head falling back.
He feels a moment of peace as his body lets go, and he lets himself enjoy this moment, for however brief it may be, before his consciousness starts to return to him, and he finds his mind filled with regret and shame and disgust.
He hates everything about what's just happened, he hates the way his body felt, he hates the way his body enjoyed everything, and he hates most of all the fact that he's not sure if he would do things any differently next time.