The comic book shop. This is one of my favorite places on the planet.

I don't really visit it a whole lot, every time I find myself at the mall I'm usually just there as an extra pair of hands when the girls are out shopping. I have heard a lot of talk about how shopping with ladies is a harrowing experience, dull moments that stretch into infinity as you wait for the other party to finally come to a decision.

These people have probably never shopped with the Louds.

It's usually a very tense affair. A strict schedule to follow with preestablished time-windows for the girls to meander around. After Lana was banned from wandering off and breaking into the maintanence room to inspect the new sprinkler system for the outside courtyard all of us have to stick together if we go to the mall or Mom and Dad will yell at us.

The mall staff will also yell at us, but we don't really care about them.

So, with 11 kids with stuff to buy we need to make sure that everyone has a chance to visit their stores. All the girls are on a strict time table to get in and out as soon as possible. It's kinda cool to help them out with precursory research, figuring out what stores have what in stock and what's on sale, I don't mind talking to strangers if it's on the phone- way easier. Most stores will price match with what you pull up on their online storefront, which is cool. I figure they fold pretty easy because- at least according to Leni, having to stare down 10 really pissed off girls with places to be is every retail workers worst nightmare.

It also has the added benifit to get the other girls out of their comfort zones, me too in some cases. I picked up a cool denim vest at Forever 28 that looked just like Muscle Fish's last year and was able to pick up some patches online that match up with his vest configuration in the Urchin Ouch! arc, I have it displayed in a shadowbox in my room. I don't wear it because it's a men's XXL that I got for 8 bucks in the bargain bin, but that's cool because it makes it more life-like. Lola will sometimes pick up ascessories at Tepid Topic, Lucy will find Dark Acedmia clothes on sale at Reiningers since nobody ever buys them, and even Lisa will pick up a mock turtleneck at American Falcon- they're technically haltertops but when she puts them on she just rolls up the sleeves.

It's easy to blend in the crowd when I'm at the mall with them so I always appreciate the trips, I don't like coming out here alone. It's always kind of packed.

Since Muscle Fish takes place in New York City the fight scenes are usually in pretty packed areas. Instead of most comics where pedestrians usually flee whenever a fight breaks out the people of New York city will be a bit more active. Sometimes they'll just go about their business, sometimes they'll start screaming at Muscle Fish and the villain-of-the-hour to quit messing with their commute, and sometimes they'll hand off a folding chair or piece of rebar to Muscle Fish to get the fight done faster so they can get back to their lives.

I always thought that was kinda cool.

Usually Muscle Fish will traverse the sewers of New York City with his trusty Sewage Board, riding the waves and currents that coincide with commercial breaks in-between primetime shows and the after-dinner dump-rush. This way he doesn't have to worry about all the tourists meandering in the street and the locals that call up pest control whenever he shows up, thinking that he's some kind of ugly aligator with leprosy that needs to be rehabilitated and sent back into the wild.

The people of Royal Woods are like that too, so I usually try to travel around with a low-profile when I have to set out by myself for errands and stuff. I parked my bike outside the movie theater since every other entrance feeds through a store full of really overeager salespersons or is just chock-full of people going into and out of the mall. My bike lock is nice and secure, but I had to leave my backpack in the basket. Hopefully the blue tarp I wrapped over the bike to keep people from janking my stuff is untouched.

I have a tendency to hang around places where other kids don't hang around in. I guess one of the cool parts about living in a place like the suburbs is that everyone usually hangs out in the same handful of areas: parks, arcades, fast food places, the mall. I like to cut through private land, a lot of undeveloped green areas that Woodland county purchased back in the 80's and never did anything with. So most of the time I ever get in trouble it's because some adult caught me hanging around an abandoned railway station or condemned factory.

I get why, places like that are chocked full of asbestos. Lisa says it's some kind of material that they made up during Grandpa-Times to fireproof buildings, but it has the unfortunate side-effect of lowering your life expectancy by a couple of decades. I try to keep a mask with me, but wearing it around just makes me look like I really do know better than to hang around dangerous abandoned buildings.

But every time I do try to spend time in places where I technically can be I usually have an adult get all up in my business. Probably because I'm always alone. It's one thing for a group of kids to hang out around the drainage ditch of the neighborhood to throw rocks into the standing stagnant pools of washing machine run-off from all the houses, but if it's just one kid who has weird white hair and can't make eye-contact with anyone I can kind of understand why they call they always call the neighborhood watch on me. I'd invite Lynn or Lana to hang out with me when I'm stomping around town, but that usually ends with the police getting called. It's fun, but not really worth it. I don't like the idea of being grounded for just one action-packed afternoon.

I would have just stayed in the park until the streetlights went on and read comic books in a tree or something at Ketcham Park, but I kind of want to make some friends to get mom to stop worrying about me.

According to the zikihow page I have open on my phone the best way to get friends is to talk to people my own age who share the same interests as me. I find this odd since I'm fairly certain a lot of people in my grade also enjoy comics and videogames, at least according to the conversations I hear sometimes in-between classes.

I never really try to talk about stuff like that at school since School is School, not some kind of social club. Sometimes kids my age will walk up to me while waiting at the bus and ask me what comic I'm reading, and then I answer them. Looking back this probably would have been a good moment to try and initiate a conversation, but I can't read something and talk to someone at the same time. I like to put all my concentration into reading comic books since I don't have a lot of time to read them between homework, schoolwork, and family stuff.

I looked up from my phone a 10th time to see that the comic book store is still empty save for the red headed shopkeeper. I can't really make any friends if there isn't anyone to make friends with.

I usually spend my allotted 30 minute shopping time during our mall visits to go to the food court and pick up a fried cheese curd on a stick from Cheese On A Stick, this is because I can usually goad one of my sisters into buying my Cheese Stick for me in exchange for 15 minutes of my shopping time. I rarely ever go into the comic book shop because I'm broke.

All of my other sisters have marketable skills and jobs. Luan has approached me for a position helping out her during parties, and Lola has contacted me for modeling gigs, but I don't really want to deal with that. Mom and Dad do give me 20 bucks every two weeks for helping out around the house, but I usually save it for situations like this.

The zikihow article states that you need to actually talk to other people in order to make friends. This makes sense in hindsight. After the 15th look into the store I decided to walk in. A lot of people seemed like they were going to enter the store but turned around when I made eye-contact with them, which seems odd because I'm pretty sure I was smiling.

The chill of the air conditioner pelted my sweaty back, a weird and gross feeling. I cleaned off the blood on my scalp in one of the unisex bathrooms by the entrance and thought I dried myself off properly, apparently not. I'd try to adjust it but the shopkeeper lady is looking at me, and I think that would be a bad first impression.

The store had a pretty meager collection of actual recent releases. It did boast a pretty good selection of omnibusses and art books, probably because they make more money than regular floppies. I usually just check comics out at the library or get them delivered straight from the publisher. Recently I've been thinking of going purely digital just to ensure that I always have access to them if something happens, Charles really likes peeing on comics I leave lying around. I guess he thinks they are pee-pee pads. I know it's not because he hates comic books because Charles only pees on stuff he likes.

"Oh thank god, he finally came in…" I think I heard the lady mumble into her chinese takeout box. With a sigh she slurped the rest of her noodles down and threw it and her wooden chopsticks into a bin by the register. I noticed that she had a large piece of gauze taped over her left shoulder that bundled up underneath her blue and green top, looks kind of nasty. But her business is her business.

"How can I help you today, kid?" The lady didn't look at me while asking this, instead she sprayed a can of air freshener into the air.

"You just looking?"

This is usually the part where I mumble something underneath my breath and stumble towards the discount bin. But I kind of have a job to do today. I walked up to the counter.

"Hello, my name is Lincoln Loud…" I tried my hardest to make it sound like I knew what I was doing,

"Today I'm supposed to make friends." Quick and to the point.

"Well, kiddo. We sell comics here, along with an assortment of other related pop culture goods. Not frien-" The red headed lady stopped mid-sentence and looked at me in the eyes.

To save her the effort of kicking me out I quickly turned around and started walking towards the door.

"Wait, Lincoln Loud? Leni's little brother? That's what your voice sounds like?"

It seems like I cannot ever return back to this store again and owe Leni an apology for bothering her friend while she's at work.

"Wait! Where are you going? Come back!"

I stopped halfway at the door. Staring at my reflection I looked like I was about to vibrate so hard from anxiety that my cells themselves would start to break down at a molecular level. I took a deep breath and calmed myself before turning around.

"You know my sister, Leni?"

The shopkeeper tilted her head and covered her face with her hand. "Uh, yeah, and your sister Lori. How is Lori doing bee-tee-dubs? Her snapchit stories are always hilarious!"

I opened my mouth to respond before catching myself.

I have no idea who this lady is, but I vaguely remember someone with red hair who would sometimes show up to the house brought in by Lori. This lady could very well be the same lady. But still, doubt festered in my mind. If she really did know Lori then why doesn't she know how she is doing? If she has access to her snapchit, something I don't even have access to despite being her brother, then why is she asking me for an update on Lori?

I released a held in breath and walked towards the lady after coming to a conclusion: She was simply testing me. Seeing just how good of a little brother I am. She's never really met me before, so maybe she's just trying to see what Lori has had to deal with her whole life.

"Lori is doing fine." I made my way to the glass counter housing trading cards for a game I collect cards for despite not having anyone to play with besides myself.

"Lori isn't taking any summer courses at Fairway university. I think this is fine because she has a tendency to take off more than what she can chew, her showing some restraint in knowing how much she can handle is a bit refreshing to me. Sometimes, when she was still in the house, I would worry if she was stressed out with being the oldest. Now that she has moved out I no longer have to worry about that. Lori will be arriving this Monday at the house, and I am super excited for this! She's going to be helping out at our parent's restaurant to save up some money for a new set of golf clubs, but I am pretty certain if she just waited for her birthday she'd get them as a present. She can be kinda funny like that!"

I made sure to emote during some of those sentences, even using hand movements to illustrate my thoughts better. My jaw hurts from talking. Sweat stung my eyes as I waited for the lady to reply.

"You know…" The lady shook her head and rose her eyebrows, "Your sisters would always go on about how shy you were, but I don't really hear it in your voice. But I can kinda tell that you are a bit… awkward-"

She quickly raised her hands and laughed, "Not that I'm anyone to judge or anything! I'm super lame too! It's just-" She sighed and rested her elbow on the glass counter, "Sorry for snapping at you about the whole this place doesn't sell friends here thing," She swung her arms side to side and parroted what she said before in a gruff voice, this got a smile out of me.

"I'm just kinda used to kids just treating this place like some kind of freakin' library or something, getting their grubby fingers all over the merchandise- creasing mint condition new issues without paying…"

She sounded bitter, I guess kids can be kind of annoying.

I quickly held my arms to the side and stood up straight, "I promise not to pick anything up if I'm not buying it!"

The lady quickly covered her mouth to stifle a laugh, "Good, if only all kids were like you…"

"I think that would be kind of weird if everyone had white hair."

The lady let out a laugh. I wasn't really trying to be funny though.

I gave her some time to recover, this gave me some time to figure out what to say next. I guess I can kind of understand why Luan puts so much effort in being as funny as possible. The more people laugh, the more time you have to pick and choose your next sentence. I guess it's a good thing that some people find me laughable.

"Er. I guess this is a weird time to ask this…" I quickly remembered the zikihow article on how to make friends, one of the tips was to ask for people's names and to remember them, "But what is your name?"

"Becky," Becky answered quickly, with a smile that I don't really see a lot pointed towards me from people who aren't related to me. Not the tight-lipped smile, but a odd smirk. I guess Richie and Trent flashed me the same look today. "But my friends call me BB."

"Oh, okay! I'll be sure to keep that in mind, BB."

I am fairly certain she said "B. B." as in the letters, and not some weird mispronunciation of "baby". I'm not about to call some lady who has half a decade on me "baby", that's insane.

"Er, yeah…" Becky gave an awkward laugh, "Just don't ask Lori why people call me BB…"

"I won't. People are allowed to have their secrets." I gave a nod and held a finger to my lips to signify that we are talking about secrets.

She cleared her throat, "Welp. Cool." And gave me a nod.

A weird five seconds of silence occured and I thought about leaving. I'm not sure how much more conversation I can take.

"Soooooooooooooo…" Becky tapped her fingerprints on the glass countertop, "It's kind of a slow day so I don't mind spending some time talking…"

"I can buy something." I pulled out my wallet and crouched down at the glass enclosure and took a look at what cards are on sale.

"Wait, L:incoln… I- You don't need to spend money in order to, just, talk to m-"

"No. I insist. This is a store and not a library. L:ike you said."

"I- I guess I did say that…" Her voice was a bit resigned, but she perked up slightly.

"You know, you're kinda like Lori in a lotta ways… Stubborn with the weirdest stuff…"

I can't really talk while concentrating so I tried to file away that particular thread of conversation for later.

The newest block of Tragic the Gathering is some weird cyberpunk thing that's a sequel to some set that was released while I was still in diapers that people only pretend to like. Apparently people who decorate their room with LED lights like it a lot. I'm not particularly a fan of any of the new sets that have come out in the last couple of years, it all feels the same. There is really no reason to buy booster packs unless you're looking for lottery cards, but if you're doing that you might as well check yourself into a mental institution.

Becky laughed and I looked up, a bit confused.

"Yeah! I always feel bad for all the kids who walk in here and buy booster boxes worth of cards, just to end up with a bunch of useless cardboard." Becky gave a sigh, "But we have to keep the lights on somehow…"

"D-did I say that all out loud?!" I panicked and shot up and gave a bow, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean anything by it!"

"Calm down, Lincoln!" Becky raised and lowered her palms in a placating motion and I slowly turned back around to face her, I guess my body instinctively started to make its way towards the door.

"You were mumbling to yourself, I just kinda… overheard it…"

"I- I guess I look pretty weird, huh?" I regained my composure and pointed down. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I'll pick up a pack of the Neon Regime and stop bothering yo-"

Becky opened up the register with a click and took the 5 dollar bill from my hand, "Come on, kid. It's totally fine. You're not bothering me or anything- 32 cents is your change, by the way." She dumped the coins into my hand and I slid them inside the empty tip jar. "Place is really dead now that every kid came in and dropped their allowance right before my lunch break since it's the first day of summer vacay, it's coo-"

The door opened and some lady walked in, "BECKY! I'm getting my hair did- watch your sister."

A kid with glasses was brought forward on a leash, she looked to be younger than me. The lady unhooked the young girl and she immediately bounded forwards on all fours towards the back room, all while letting out a hiss.

"Wait! Auntie Pam! I'm ON THE CLOCK I can't jus-"

Becky's pleading was cut short by the woman on the door, "Shut it, kid. I already texted your dad about it." She balled up the blue leash and threw it towards Becky who caught it in one hand, pretty cool.

"I'll be back in an hour forty five, you're an adult now, Becky. Act like one." With that the lady turned around and left out the door.

The store was silent save for the sounds of crashing and mewling coming from the back room. I turned around to look at Becky, a bit uncertain of whether or not it would be rude for me to follow behind the lady who just left. Becky looks a bit upset, so I'd feel weird just leaving her alone like that.

"Uh. Do you need help, BB?" I asked.

Becky got up from repeatedly banging her forehead onto the glass countertop and looked at me confused, "How could you help me?"

I'm not entirely sure, so I just said the first thing off the top of my head.

"I can help you watch your little sister, I have 5 of them, so I have a pretty good handle on how to handle this situation."

Becky placed her hands on the countertop and tilted her head, she spoke slowly with squinted eyes.

"You want to watch Waffles?"

"It's just an hour and a half, right?" I checked my watch. "I still have time to kill before the streetlights turn on. I skipped lunch though…" I pulled out my phone and looked up at Becky.

"Do you know if Waffles has any food she particularly likes? I guess I can order from GrubTum or something, I have a coupon for a free delivery that I still need to use-" I looked up from my phone to the closed door at the back, Waffles screams turned into a giddy laugh for a split second before going back to regular screaming.

"I have a feeling the food court might be too over-stimulating for her…" And me too for that matter.

"Wait. Seriously." Becky leaned forward over the glass countertop. "You'll watch Waffles? Not even your sister Lynn can handle babysitting her! I-" Becky quickly shook her head. "I don't think that's a good idea, Lincoln… Waffles is a lot to handle… And I don't think dad can afford another lawsuit…"

"I promise not to sue, BB. It's cool. A lawsuit sounds like way too much to handle- all those people in the jury and the judge in the white wig. The white wig bugs me the most, like they're making fun of me or something in the weirdest way possible."

For some odd reason my observation got another laugh out of Becky, giving me time to say this next thing, "I'm not doing this for money or anything, Uh, don't think of it as anything other than me doing you a favor for being my sister's friend. It means a lot to me that you gave them both a chance, I know they can be a lot to handle sometimes…"

Becky rolled her eyes, "Alright, Lincoln. I get it, you're a good little brother…" Her voice dropped to a mumble as she got up from the counter, "Lori gets all the good luck, perfect boyfriend, perfect little brother, at least I have better hair…"

Becky motioned me to follow her into the backroom and opened the door.

Before I had a chance to compliment Becky on her hair (The zikihow page told me that compliments help making new friends) Waffles tried to pounce on top of me, but Becky grabbed her shirt and brought her face right into her little sister's snarling mouth and screamed.

"LINCOLN WILL BE WATCHING YOU, WAFFLES. SO YOU BETTER BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"

I had to cover my ears at Becky's outburst. Gave me flashbacks of when Lori was back in the house. Waffles shook in the air and gave a meek nod. Satisfied, Becky let her go and Waffles scampered off into the corner of the room.

Becky turned towards me and shot me a wink, "Your sister, Lori, taught me how to do that! Hahaaaa…" I felt my face contort into a slight frown and tried to catch myself, but Becky caught that and sighed.

"Er. Sorry. Waffles is just… a lot to deal with…"

"Listen," Becky patted my hand down, still clutching my cellphone, "You don't gotta worry about buying lunch, I'll at least take care of that… Just-"

She turned around and gave one last sentence before closing the door.

"Do whatever you need to do to come out in one piece, Lincoln."

I think I heard her lock the door.

"Now I'm rolling in sweat
With a cold slick of red
And a nickle in my jeans"

Thunderpeel by Beck

She's called BB because it stands for "Bad Bitch". Lincoln will never know that, but you and I can share this little secret. This fic is a secret too, don't share it with your friends. This is between me and you, amigo. The way it's always been.

No Lincoln Torture this chapter, sorry. Maybe next chapter he can get his eye clawed out by Waffles or something. Or maaaaybe they'll KISSSSS! (They won't, this isn't a wafflecoln fic)

It's funny how this Linc is similar to LDNT Lincoln since his internal monologue is similar to Lincoln's at the end of the day. But the main difference is that he feels anxiety ALL THE TIME instead of just at the end of the day when he has to face his actions head-on. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself. I guess there doesn't really need to be "themes" or "in-depth characterization" in something like fanfiction, sometimes a story can just be some kid making friends. You don't need to make a big deal about it, unless if that's something you like doing. If so: that's pretty cool. If not: that's also cool.

Becky is here because I didn't want to write a character I've already spent time writing, so don't expect Carol or Fiona or Miguel or Chaz or Mazzy or Sully or Paula. Sorry for all those Chaz fans out there.

One final note: I'm writing these fics on a tablet now. And reading fic with a full screen is just kind of insane to me, the formatting makes everything so wide. If your reading this on a computer I'd like to say sorry.